A Capacity for Love

Chapter 25

After the Quidditch Match

"He'll be all right, Ginny, you know he always is." Hermione sounded more certain than she was. She'd heard the impact of the bat on Harry's skull all the way down in the stands.

"I know he will," Ginny said firmly, not slowing her strident pace. "Madam Pomfrey's patched him up after worse than that. I'm still going to kill him."

"He's not worth it, Ginny. Leave Professor McGonagall to deal with McLaggen."

"Oh, I'm not talking about him. I'm talking about Harry. I'll kill him for letting that ape on the team in the first place!"

They'd reached the hospital wing now. Hagrid was standing guard at the door, not letting anyone in. He had just turned away Romilda Vane and one of her dorm-mates when Hermione and Ginny approached.

"I'm sorry, girls," Hagrid said to Hermione and Ginny regretfully, glancing nervously at the two denied fourth-year girls, who were watching them from a short distance away. "Madam Pomfrey says no visitors." He looked truly pained to have to say no to them, twisting his giant handkerchief into a painful-looking knot.

Hermione and Ginny looked at each other. They were obviously both thinking the same thing. "All right," Ginny sighed. "Thanks anyway, Hagrid."

They turned and wandered slowly away. Romilda sneered at them as they passed: "Rules are rules, even for you."

Ginny's hands balled up, but Hermione caught her in time. "Just keep walking," she hissed, grabbing Ginny by the elbow.

They went down one flight of stairs and then slipped into an alcove. "How long do you figure?" Ginny asked in a low voice.

"Five minutes, tops," Hermione answered. "Less if Hagrid starts talking about his Skrewts."

Ginny giggled. Hermione watched her, marveling once again at the other girl's resilience. She'd never have guessed, seeing her now, that four years ago, she'd been at death's door, her life forced drained nearly to the last drop, her mind and body commandeered by a psychopath.

Ginny felt Hermione's eyes on her. "What?" she asked uncertainly.

"Nothing," Hermione said quickly, looking away.

Ginny was silent for a while, then said in a soft voice, "You fancy him, don't you?"

Hermione looked sharply at Ginny. "Who?"

"Harry."

Hermione nearly burst out laughing, but Ginny bore such a pained expression that she quelled the impulse.

"Harry? No, seriously, Ginny, I don't--"

"It's okay," Ginny said, and Hermione could tell she was trying to be upbeat. "You're best friends, after all. He fancies you, too, I'm certain of it. The way you're always putting your heads together in the common room--"

"Ginny, stop," Hermione said, frowning. "I don't fancy Harry. Not like that, anyway. You're right, we're good friends. But that's it. I don't fancy anyone at all. And he certainly doesn't fancy me. He's too busy with ... other things," she finished lamely, realizing she didn't know how much Ginny had been told about the Horcruxes and other things.

"Oh." Ginny seemed at a loss for what to say to that. "Well, if you did, you could tell me, you know. I wouldn't tell anyone."

"Thanks, I think. I mean... It's not like you fancy him, or anything, do you?" The way Ginny was asking about it gave Hermione that impression, even though as far as she knew, Ginny was still together with Dean.

"Me? Oh, no," Ginny said lightly. "I was... thinking of someone else who might be interested in who you fancy."

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on, Hermione. You're not stupid. You know my brother's got a thing for you."

"Which one?"

"Ron, obviously!"

"Don't be silly, Ginny, Ron's with Lavender."

"He may be swapping spit with her, but he's only doing it to get back at you for Viktor Krum."

"What?!"

"You know there were those rumours at the beginning of the year about you and Viktor."

"You mean two years ago."

"No, I mean at the beginning of this year. Well, maybe not right at the beginning. I don't remember exactly when. They were saying you'd been... you know..." Ginny raised her eyebrows and gave Hermione a mischievous grin.

Hermione's stomach sank. She did remember. Parvati and Lavender had asked her about it. It had been just about a week after Halloween. She'd figured out that someone had started a rumour about her sleeping with an older man, and that someone was more than likely a certain blond Slytherin, twisting the Death Eater rapes into some sort of sick joke.

"That's not... It isn't true," Hermione managed to rasp out over her suddenly bone-dry throat.

"Really? Too bad." Ginny shrugged carelessly. Then a sudden idea struck her. "Or was it someone else?"

"No!" Hermione immediately denied it. "There was nothing. No one. It was just a stupid rumour. Malfoy was trying to sully my reputation."

Now it was Ginny's turn to frown. "Malfoy? Why?"

"No reason," Hermione said. For some reason, she started to panic. Whatever had possessed her to mention Malfoy? "Same as always," she improvised. "Envy and prejudice. Who knows? Look, can we just forget it?"

Ginny didn't seem entirely convinced, but agreed to let it rest. "Anyway, it doesn't matter whether it's true or not. Ron thinks it is, and that's why he's doing his best to make up for lost time with Lavender."

"He told you that?"

"Not in so many words, no, but when we were home over Christmas, he more or less said something to the effect of, 'If Hermione can shag Viktor, why shouldn't I have a little fun with Lavender?' Why didn't you come to the Burrow over Christmas, anyway?"

"I wasn't invited," Hermione said, trying not to make it sound reproachful. "And he's right, why shouldn't he?"

"Because it's not really her who he fancies. He's only using her for practice. And if I'd known you wanted to come, I would have invited you. I didn't know you and Ron were on the outs by then."

"We weren't 'on the outs'. I suppose he just didn't think of it. He's only a bloke, you know."

Ginny laughed. "Truer words were never spoken. I suppose that's all that's wrong with Dean, too."

"What do you mean? How are things going with Dean?" Hermione welcomed the opening to move away from the subject of Ginny's youngest brother and his possible feelings for Hermione.

"Oh... fine," she answered in way which made Hermione prompt futher: "Really?"

"Yeah... Well, I did kind of launch into him for laughing about Harry getting hit earlier."

"He did what?"

"He was waiting for me outside the locker room. He was laughing about what great aim McLaggen had. I know he was only kidding, but it really got to me. I let him have it about how insensitive he was being."

"Ouch." Hermione winced.

"He was really being a Class-A git." Ginny was fuming now.

"I agree with you, for what it's worth."

"Thanks. Think it's safe to go back up now?"

"It can't hurt to try."

The two girls went back upstairs, this time checking around the corner first whether the corridor was empty before dashing down to Hagrid's post.

"Now, you know I'm not s'posed ter--" he began, shaking his head regretfully.

"We're not here to see Harry, Hagrid," Ginny assured him. "We're here to see Ron." She gave Hermione a sly look which made Hermione's blood freeze. She'd completely forgotten about Ron still being in the hospital wing! She also didn't like the way it felt like Ginny was trying to set her up, but she couldn't very well say anything without ruining their chances of getting in to check on Harry.

"Yeh're... Oh!" Hagrid's face lit up in understanding. "'Course, he's in there, too, i'n't he? An' yeh're his sister, an' yeh're his..." He winked at Hermione. "'Course you can go in an' see him." He looked up and down the corridor to make sure the coast was clear. "In yeh go then, only don' stay too long now." He pushed the door to the infirmary open just wide enough for Ginny and Hermione to slip in.

"Thanks, Hagrid, we won't."

Inside, Hermione suddenly felt shy, and hung back. Ron was awake, but lying with his back to the door, his attention focused on the bed beside him, which was surrounded by a white curtain. It was very quiet.

"Do you think everything's..." Ginny whispered to Hermione, suddenly white-faced.

At the sound of her voice, Ron turned and saw them. He sat up, straightened his pyjama shirt self-consciously, and ran his hand through his shaggy hair before waving them over, indicating they should be quiet.

"What's going on?" Ginny whispered as soon as they were close enough to him.

"It looked bad," Ron said soberly, glancing nervously at Hermione. She shrank back, wishing she hadn't come after all. "Lots of blood. I haven't heard a sound out of him. No groaning, nothing. Think Madam Pomfrey put a silencing charm up, though."

The three of them looked anxiously at the blank white curtain, which was quivering slightly, as if disturbed by a slight breeze.

Ginny dropped into the chair beside Ron's bed. "He'll be all right, though, right? I mean, he's always all right."

"Course he will," Ron said grandly. "It's never as bad as it looks. Head wounds bleed a lot is all."

"Ron, that's not very helpful!" Ginny glared at him.

The sound of metal clinking against metal drew their attention, and the curtain was pulled aside by Madam Pomfrey.

"I thought I heard voices out here," she said with slight reproach in her tone. She looked as orderly and cool as ever in her blue uniform. "I should have known Hagrid wouldn't be able to resist you two." There was resignation and slight amusement in her voice.

"It's not his fault, Madam Pomfrey," Ginny said. "We came to visit Ron."

The matron did not look convinced. "So you did. Well, it won't do you any good to try and talk to Mr Potter anyway. I've given him a sleeping potion." She seemed triumphant at having foiled their ruse.

"He'll be all right, then?" Ginny asked, more anxiously than one might have expected from someone who was currently dating someone else.

"It'll take more than a Beater's bat to the noggin to put Harry Potter out of commission," Madam Pomfrey said with a certain degree of pride.

"Well, as long as we're here, would it be all right if we just quickly went in to see him?" Ginny asked sweetly.

"As I said, he is sound asleep, won't wake up for hours."

"Then it won't bother him if we peek in. Please, Madam Pomfrey? Hermione's his best friend, aside from Ron. And I'm practically his sister. He hasn't got any real family to visit him."

Hermione felt a bit uncomfortable at Ginny's using her name to wheedle a glimpse of Harry out of Madam Pomfrey, but she didn't protest, and she had to admit, it was a clever tactic to pull on the matron's heartstrings like that.

Madam Pomfrey looked like she knew she'd been had, but pulled the curtain aside nevertheless. "Not long now, mind you. Don't try to wake him or even touch him. He's sustained a serious injury to the head and he must remain completely still." She retreated to give them some privacy.

Ron craned his neck to see while Hermione and Ginny softly approached Harry's bed. His head was wrapped in thick, white bandages, and he looked small and child-like, lying there with the covers pulled up to his neck and his glasses off. Hermione's breath caught and she felt as if she'd been kicked in the stomach. First Ron, and now Harry. He could really have died out there. Was this incident somehow related to the other attacks and near-deaths this year? She'd always had a bad feeling about McLaggen. Maybe Voldemort really had recruited him. On the other hand, whacking Harry over the head with a Beater's bat during a school match was not a very sure-fire way of killing him. Although it would very much be McLaggen's style.

Hermione felt the sudden urge to run away. She wasn't sure where that had come from; they were perfectly safe there, in the hospital wing, with Hagrid standing guard at the door. Nevertheless, she was very uncomfortable. She took a step back, away from the white curtains. "He looks like he's going to be all right," she said to Ginny. "We should probably go."

Ginny sat down in the chair beside Harry's bed and gazed anxiously at his face. "What if he's awake in there? What if he can hear us, but he just can't react?"

"Madam Pomfrey gave him a sleeping potion. He's only asleep," Hermione said with slight irritation. "He'll be fine in the morning."

"I'd like to sit here a bit, if you don't mind," Ginny replied softly. "Just so he's not alone."

"All right," Hermione agreed, glad that Ginny hadn't asked her to stay as well. "I'll go back to Gryffindor then, let everyone know he'll be fine."

Ginny nodded and gave Hermione a brief smile before returning her attention to the unconscious hero.

Hermione turned to go in relief, but before she had taken many steps, Ron spoke: "Hey, Hermione. Mind staying a minute?" He seemed nervous, but indicated the now empty chair beside his bed.

"I should really get back, Ron, everyone's worried."

"Come on, it won't take long. I need to talk to you."

Hermione hesitated, but finally took a seat. "What is it?" she asked, not able to look him in the eye.

"I don't want Ginny to hear us," Ron said in a low voice. "Can you...?" He indicated the wand movement for the Muffliato spell with his finger. His wand was nowhere in sight, likely having been locked away by Madam Pomfrey for safekeeping.

Hermione performed the privacy charm and kept her wand out. It gave her something to do with her hands.

"Hermione, I... I've been thinking a lot about what you told me," Ron began.

It was as she had feared. He would have to bring up her confession. "Oh, Ron, I don't want to talk about it!" Hermione said. "I'm sorry I told you. I didn't want to burden you with it! I only--"

"What are you talking about?" he interrupted, looking at her like she was crazy. "It's no burden! I mean, I could hardly think of anything else all week. I know why you didn't want to tell me, but it's okay. I don't think any differently of you."

Tears began to swim in Hermione's eyes. She concentrated hard on the carvings on her wand.

"Does... does anyone else know?" he asked carefully. "Dumbledore? ... Harry?"

"Dumbledore knows, and Madam Pomfrey." And Snape, and probably Malfoy, she added silently. "I haven't told anyone else. You're the only one."

Ron was silent at that.

"I didn't mean to tell you, either, I just... I'm sorry, it slipped out," she said miserably.

"I'm glad you did. Now I know why you've been acting so weird all year."

For some reason, that annoyed Hermione. "Not everything I do and say has to do with ... that, you know."

"That's not what I meant," Ron tried to explain.

"But that's what you think, isn't it? Now I've told you what happened, you think everything I do is because of that. Well, maybe I would have done all those things anyway! Maybe it hasn't affected me at all!"

"But you said yourself, you were acting all angry because of it," Ron said defensively.

"Of course I was angry! I was brutally attacked and forced to cover it up, to go to class with--" She stopped herself; she'd nearly said 'to go to class with the man who raped me'.

"With what?"

"Nothing. I had to go to class and pretend like nothing happened."

"I could tell something was different, though. I thought..." Ron got a sheepish look on his face. "I thought it was because you didn't like Lavender. Didn't like her spending so much time with me."

"Well, I don't like Lavender," Hermione said spitefully. It wasn't exactly true, although on the other hand she and Lavender had never really been fast friends. At Ron's stricken look, Hermione's heart softened. Here she was again, lashing out at people who were supposed to be her friends. "I'm sorry, that didn't come out right. I mean, I don't like how she hangs all over you and calls you pet names. It's childish and embarrassing. But I think she is a perfectly nice person. She has a good heart, Ron. That's what's important." Please, please, don't break up with her because of anything I've said, she begged silently.

"Yeah," Ron said, but he didn't seem convinced. "Well, I just wanted you to know, I'm really glad you told me. And I don't think of you any differently. And if you ever find out who it was, me and Harry will hunt him down for you. And kill him." This last was said with such fervency that Hermione got a little shiver.

Ron's attention was drawn to something behind Hermione's shoulder, so she turned and saw Ginny standing there with her hands on her hips and an amused smirk on her face. Hermione quickly ended the privacy spell.

"So, all done visiting my big brother, then?" she asked.

"If you're done mooning over Harry," Ron shot back.

Ginny's jaw dropped in protest. "I was not mooning! I was doing the same thing I'd have done for you if you were lying there unconscious with no other family around!"

"What, switching his nose and ears around and jinxing his voice to sound like he'd sucked on helium when he woke up?"

"You were only pretending to be sick to get out of de-gnoming the garden!"

"I had a temperature!"

"Shh!" Hermione urged. "You'll wake Harry!"

Already, Madam Pomfrey had emerged from wherever it was she'd disappeared to, and was on her way over with a severe expression on her face.

"Now we're for it," Ron whispered in a strangled sort of voice. "You'd better scram."

"I'm way ahead of you, dear brother," Ginny said, making good on her words by double-timing it to the exit, dragging Hermione by the arm. "Thanks, Madam Pomfrey," she called over her shoulder. "Ron said he's feeling a bit constipated, by the way!"

The last thing Hermione heard was Ron wailing, "Ginny!" before the door to the infirmary swung shut behind them.

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