Hogwarts: The Old Skool

Hogwarts: The Old Skool

Chapter Two: The Secret Is Out

September 1972, King's Cross Station

The platform was bustling with life, students rushing everywhere. No-one even noticed as a pretty redhead, hand in hand with a tiny brunette, suddenly appeared out of a wall. Lily Evans brushed back her red hair and sighed. "It's the oddest thing, that wall, even when you know what's going to happen."

Beside her, Lily's best friend, Laurel Acevedo nodded. "I'm always afraid I'll not be able to get through!" she laughed. Laurel still had the slightly protective aura around herself - luckily it seemed more like sophistication than standoffishness - but she was much more relaxed than she had been twelve months previously.

The two girls rounded the corner when they heard a familiar shout, and Lily's face lit up.

"Oi, Evans, what happened to our camping trip?"

"And I'm not happy to see you, Acevedo - you said you'd run away and marry me!"

The girls turned to see four boys heading towards them. The two in the middle, both tall and ebony-haired, had been the ones who'd shouted. The one without the glasses had shot up even more over the summer, and now Sirius Black was fast approaching the height of 6'2" that he would eventually end up at. Beside him, his best friend, James Potter, pushed his glasses up on his nose and beamed at Lily. The beam turned into a mock-grimace as he neared them, and put his hands on his hips, beginning a playful argument with Lily about who was supposed to owl who to arrange their trip. Sirius fell dramatically to the floor in front of Laurel and pretended to weep into her skirt, wailing about how he'd thought she loved him, and how he'd never be able to trust another woman. Laurel feigned concern before pulling Sirius up by his hair.

"Get off me, Black - I won't have you starting another year by embarrassing me!"

Sirius affected a hurt expression. "And when did I embarrass you before?"

Laurel hooted with laughter, quickly joined by Lily. "You fell in the bloody lake, Siri! You made us all look right tits!"

Sirius shrugged good-naturedly, and gave Laurel a genuine smile. "Okay, I'll give you that. Seriously though, it's nice to see you, Laurie. And you, of course, Miss Lillian," he added. The girls gave him a sweet smile back, and then Laurel elbowed him out of the way as she turned to greet the last two members of their group.

The shorter boy had put on some more weight, Laurel noted with dismay. Poor Peter. He was going to make himself even more of a target for Lucius Malfoy's group of Slytherins, but she supposed he had Sirius and James to keep an eye on him. Anyway, it wasn't Peter she'd been thinking about seeing again all summer. She steeled herself to turn to the last boy.

Her eyes slid to the right - and then up. He's grown, she realised. And not just up - although Remus Lupin was still thin, his shoulders had broadened into a very attractive wiry frame that was vastly different to the skinny little boy she'd said goodbye to at the beginning of the summer. She smiled shyly at him.

"Hello, Remus," she said.

"Hello, Laurel," he replied, in a newly deepened voice, smiling back at her in that true Remus fashion - it was not a flamboyant grin like Sirius', but it was a genuine, warm smile, full of affection, and made his amber eyes dance. She had sometimes entertained thoughts of him over the previous year, but until their two month separation over the summer, she hadn't realised how much she missed him when he wasn't around. Every feeling she'd ever had towards him rushed back at her now with the force of an emotional Bludger.

"So what happened, Acevedo?" Sirius interrupted her reverie. "You and Remy sneaking off on secret rendezvous, that it?"

She felt her face flame, and glared at Sirius. "What are you talking about?" she asked, trying to keep her voice casual.

"Well, we arranged to meet twice and both times you and young Lupin here were the only ones who couldn't make it! Lupes was off with his mother - weren't you, Remus-" at this he shot a look at Remus, then, bizarrely, glanced at James. "And you were taking care of your sister! I think you guys arranged some kind of lover's tryst, am I right?"

She couldn't look at Remus, but felt the cold radiating from him. "Shut up, Sirius. I told you I couldn't come. Now let it go," he said quietly.

"And I'm very sorry if my family is more important than your bloody social life, Black," added Laurel. Sirius grabbed both of them and hugged them to him.

"Now now, children, I was just kidding. Let's forget it, okay? Now, I think we better make our move onto the train before iccle Sevvie and his slimy buddies grab the best seats."

Several hours later, the six friends were at Hogsmeade station, heaving their trunks off the Hogwarts Express, still chattering nineteen to the dozen as though they hadn't spent the entire journey together. Her small build not designed for climbing into a huge carriage, Peter held out a hand to Laurel, but he accidentally let go too soon, and she started to fall backwards - only to be caught by Remus, who'd been patiently waiting behind her.

Gazing down at the girl who'd suddenly landed on him, who he'd moved to catch automatically, Remus realised Laurel had changed over the summer. He wasn't sure what it was - curvier? fuller? - but he definitely liked it. He hadn't even noticed when she had just been standing there, but now he was touching her... She felt so small within his arms, so fragile - he looked skinny, but he was tremendously strong, and he could hurt her so easily, without even meaning to...

He set her gently on her feet, his eyes never leaving hers. She smiled at him, her cheeks pink with the cold (was it, was it just the cold, does she look at me like that too, has she ever thought about me like that) and murmured her thanks before turning to climb back into the carriage again. He watched her, hovering behind her in case she needed his help again (and if only she did, if only I could get a chance, an excuse to touch her again, to hold her) and then once she was settled, he climbed after her.

"Well, you've got to give it to those house-elves, that was exactly what I needed!" James declared loudly.

"I may never eat again," Sirius added with a belch.

"You always say that," grinned Remus.

"And you never mean it," interjected Laurel.

"Well, this time I do. No more food for me for the rest of the week. I'll burst," Sirius said firmly.

"I don't know, I could go for another pumpkin pastry," said Peter, looking around absently.

"Well, you can't have one," Lily interrupted. "We have to go and unpack. Come on Laurie,"

Laurel stood up, rubbing her aching stomach. There wasn't much food at home, and she'd done this last time, eaten too much at the first feast. Control yourself, she told herself sternly. There's plenty more where that came from. She smoothed down her robes, and wandered off to the second year dormitory with Lily, who was chattering away about how handsome James looked now he'd grown a bit, and how she couldn't wait to sneak up to the Astronomy Tower with him this year. Laurel listened, nodding and smiling in all the right places, while wondering if she'd see any action in the Tower this year herself.

After they'd unpacked their clothes and hugged the other girls in their dorms, swapping stories about who'd done what over the summer, Lily and Laurel headed back downstairs to the Gryffindor common room. They flopped down onto a sofa in front of the roaring fire, only to leap up again, screeching, as they felt something underneath them. They looked at the sofa suspiciously, and then looked at each other.

"Um, Lil, there's nothing there," Laurel muttered.

"Yes, Laurie, I can see that. But I felt it. There's someone on this couch," Lily said nervously. The two girls reached down slowly to pat the cushions, only to leap back in shock, nearly falling into the fireplace, as James and Sirius suddenly appeared as if from nowhere.

Clutching her chest, Lily gave them her fiercest glare. "What the hell do you think you're playing at? How did you do that?" she said angrily.

James and Sirius dissolved in peals of laughter. Laurel turned to see Remus and Peter emerge from the staircase leading up to the boys' dorm, Peter tittering nervously as Remus shook his head in mild amusement.

"You two are complete arses, you know," he remarked.

James managed to compose himself long enough to cheerfully agree. Elbowing Sirius, he made room for the two girls on the sofa, and explained to them he had received an Invisibility Cloak from his dad for getting such high marks in his first year exams. Apparently the cloak had been in his family for generations, and it was the tradition to hand it down to each son from his father when the son did something exemplary. Not, he sniggered, that getting those marks in his exams was a testament to how hard he'd studied - rather, how big Remus' handwriting and how good James' eyesight was.

The six friends gathered around the fireplace, squashing onto the couches and armchairs. Sirius and James began to plan with glee what they were going to do with the cloak. Laurel began to tune them out, instead watching Remus out of the corner of her eye. He really was very good looking, she decided. He didn't have those textbook good looks that Sirius had, nor the charismatic presence, but he was easily as good looking as James. It just seemed that unlike James, who was well aware of how handsome he was (although he never really pressed his advantage, she admitted, it was just something he knew was an asset of his), Remus really didn't know that his soft voice and gentle manner belied how gorgeous he was. Girls wrote him off as bookish, someone you would go to for help with your homework, but never for a date. Well, Laurel determined, that was going to change. She would have Remus Lupin for her own this year, whether he liked it or not.

As she watched him, she saw his gentle features crease in discomfort, just as Sirius' voice broke through her reverie.

"So that's settled then. Tomorrow night, we'll sneak down to Hagrid's hut. It'll take a while, with six of us underneath it, but I think we can manage. Everyone up for it?" he asked.

James looked at Lily hopefully. "You want to, right, Lil?" he asked, only the slightest tremor in his voice revealing how his heart was pounding underneath. Him, Lily Evans, a starry night, his friends off with Hagrid...

Lily, whose heart was doing a fair bit of pounding itself, gave him a sweet smile and nodded. Peter, perched on the floor beside her, looked downcast, until James kicked him gently, and confirmed he was joining them too. Happy to be included, Peter smiled gratefully.

"Remy? How about you? Bit of adventuring?" Sirius continued. Remus shook his head.

"Sorry guys, I have to, um, see my mum. Just for a few days. She's pretty sick, and it's my turn to take care of her," he said quickly, his stomach twitching slightly at lying to his friends. Then he saw Laurel's face, and the twinge jumped into his heart. Don't look at me like that, he thought at her fiercely. You don't understand, Laurie, none of you would ever speak to me again if you knew. I can't tell you.

Laurel forced a smile onto her face, and said yes through numb lips when Sirius asked her, trying to ignore the way Remus was glaring at her, the way her heart had leapt at the thought of being able to sneak off with him into the night, and the way it had sank when Remus had declined to join them. I know he's just being caring, and it makes me like him all the more, she thought, but I don't want him to go and see his mother, I want him to stay at Hogwarts with me. Or I want to go with him. Or I want everyone else to be wiped out in a nuclear holocaust and have to reproduce the entire human race with him. Or I want... she shook her head as her thoughts became ever more smutty.

I've been spending way too much time with Sirius, she thought, smiling wryly.

I'm going to have to go now, honey, I have to get to my History of Magic class. I swear to God, being taught by a ghost isn't nearly as fun as it sounds, Lupe. Just wait til you're here at Hogwarts - you'll understand! How he manages to make something as bloodthirsty and exciting as the goblin rebellions sound so dull... the man has real skill!

Good luck with the next few days. Know that I love you, and I'm always thinking about you, every time it happens. You are my world, Lupe, and I'd do anything to protect you, so don't forget I'll always be here when you need me.

Write me back soon, I miss you so much!

Lots of love from your favourite big sister,

Laurie

xxx

Laurel finished scribbling the kisses on the bottom of her letter, and folded it up. She wrote her sister's name on the front, kissed it once for luck, and then handed it to the owl.

"Be careful, Clarence," she said, stroking the owl's soft feathers before releasing him out into the night. She pulled her cloak back over her head, and hurried downstairs to the common room, where Sirius was practically stamping his feet in impatience to get going. Laurel grinned at the sight of him.

"Siri, you're like a two year old," she said, giggling. He gave her a rather dirty wink.

"Not where it counts, Laur; not where it counts," he murmured. Laurel giggled again, and then James swept the cloak over them all.

Sneaking past the prefects was a rather interesting experience. Although they couldn't see them, the fact that there were six of them impeded their movement, and they couldn't easily get out of the way if someone appeared. They might be hidden by the Invisibility Cloak, but they could still be felt, and if one of the prefects Stunned them, they'd be in real trouble. Finally they managed to manoeuvre their way to the main doors, and slipped out into the cool night air. They ran across the field to Hagrid's hut, Sirius and James whooping with success as always, Lily laughing at them, Laurel teasing Sirius, little Peter struggling to keep up as usual. To any casual outsider they would have looked like they were having the time of their lives. Secretly, they all wished Remus was with them - this being the first outing they'd taken where they'd actually managed to get outside, he should have been beside them, holding their hands, ganging up on Sirius with the rest of them. Not miles away, taking care of a sick aunt.

As they arrived at Hagrid's, they were preparing to knock when suddenly they heard a voice coming from round the side. As one, they flocked back to James, who quickly covered them with the cloak.

Creeping round to the side, they saw Hagrid, Madam Pomfrey, and Professor Dumbledore talking urgently. A figure covered head to toe in a black cloak stood next to Dumbledore, and he had one hand on its shoulder. Holding her breath, Laurel tried to hear what they were saying.

"Now Poppy, we've discussed this. Now he's older, it's much safer if Hagrid looks after him. After all, what would we do if our school nurse was injured?" Dumbledore was saying, smiling gently at Madam Pomfrey. She sniffed haughtily, and then nodded.

"Very well, Albus, I suppose you know best. Now, are you going to be okay, child?" she said, turning to the cloaked figure. They nodded, and she hugged them, before nodding stiffly to Hagrid and Dumbledore and then hurrying back to the castle. Turning back to Hagrid, the five under the cloak heard him bid Dumbledore goodnight, and then turn to head into the Forbidden Forest. The figure started to follow him, and then turned back to Dumbledore. He removed his hood, and spoke for the first time.

"Thank you, Professor," Remus Lupin said quietly. (A/N - well, who was it going to be?!)

Dumbledore reached out and squeezed Remus' shoulder again.

"You have a great burden to shoulder, Remus, but you deal with it admirably. There are older and wiser wizards than you who have been unable to deal with the Change. You are a great asset to this school, and to your family. Have you considered what we discussed at the end of last term?"

Remus nodded, his mouth downturned. "I just can't do it, Professor," he said unhappily. "I can't tell them. I'm so scared they'll reject me - they're such good friends, we have a fantastic time together, and I'm afraid that if I tell them what I am, they'll hate me..." he trailed off and bowed his head miserably.

Dumbledore gave him a kind smile.

"Remus, I understand you are afraid to lose them. But what if by telling them, rather than destroying your friendships, you cement them even further? After all," he said, as Remus lifted his head to look at him. "If you continue to keep this from them, it becomes less likely that if and when they find out, they will be more angry that you felt you could not trust them than horrified by your secret. Did you consider that?"

Remus shook his head. "I know you're right, Professor. I just..."

"...don't want to lose them," Dumbledore finished for him. "I understand Remus, and I shall of course keep your confidence as long as you want me to. But do think about what I've said - I see your group together, and I cannot imagine they would turn their backs on you. Even Potter and Black, ever the jokers, seem to be true blue friends underneath," he added.

Sirius elbowed James and grinned. Beside them, Lily rolled her eyes. Laurel couldn't tear herself away. Remus looked so vulnerable, so scared... and this was why no-one was truly able to get close to him? Why he changed the subject when they talked about their childhoods? Laurel understood instantaneously, and knew why he hadn't told them. If only I could talk to him, she thought desperately. I could tell him about... about why I understand this is so hard for him. Suddenly she realised Lily and Sirius were pulling her backwards, away from the scene unfolding before them, back towards the castle. She tried to struggle, but Sirius was much stronger than she was, and she resigned herself to letting him pull her away until they were out of earshot of the now-distant Remus and Dumbledore.

"What are you doing?" she hissed, digging her nails into Sirius' hand to make him let go. He yelped and released her.

"He's trying to save your arse, Acevedo," said James unhappily. He looked at Sirius before continuing. "We suspected, of course, but to have it confirmed... we had no idea when we decided to come down here tonight that we'd see him."

Lily whirled on him angrily. "What do you mean, you suspected? You knew something was wrong with Remus and you didn't tell us? Didn't tell me, Jamie?"

"Don't you understand, Lily?!" James almost shouted. "There's nothing wrong with Remus. Remus is still Remus. He hasn't changed - it's us who've changed."

Lily folded her arms obstinately. "Well, it looks to me like our friend is in trouble and you two are too cowardly to help him. Dumbledore said you were true blue friends - if only he knew how wrong he was."

James looked as if he was about to hit her. He brought his face very close to Lily's. "Don't even think about saying that, Evans. You stupid Muggle, you don't get it. Remus is scared we're going to reject him because-" he broke off, and swallowed hard.

"Remus is afraid we're going to reject him because he's a werewolf."

There was silence for a second. Lily looked shocked. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Finally she managed to say, in a voice no louder than a whisper, "Are you sure?"

Laurel sighed. "He's sure. Lily, it all makes perfect sense." I just can't believe I didn't see it before, she added silently.

Lily looked at her best friend in shock. "Well, maybe it makes perfect sense to you, but I'm still slightly lost here, so if anyone wants to help me out..."

James sighed. All of a sudden he looked very old. "Lil, I will explain everything to you, but first let's get back to the common room. It's warmer there, and you can let all this sink in on the way."

The trip back to the common room passed in a blur. Images of Remus flooded through Laurel's head. He was always so gentle, always so careful and measured. He never really joined in when the boys were rough housing as they so often did - she had half thought it was because he was afraid of getting hurt. Now she understood it was because he'd been afraid of hurting them. How could I have missed it, she wondered. Me, of all people, and I didn't realise... oh, Remus...

Back in the common room, they all sat down and Sirius conjured them cups of steaming hot chocolate. Crossing her legs underneath her, Laurel leaned back and tried to ignore her own swirling feelings to listen to James speak. This was the only piece of the puzzle she hadn't known about - that James and Sirius had already realised about Remus' secret. They explained how they'd been suspicious after he kept disappearing, and eventually Sirius had worked out what the pattern was - they just hadn't really wanted to believe it.

Lily leaned forward, looking confused. "So werewolves are real?" she asked.

James sighed and nodded. "Werewolves are real. And in the wizarding world, they're looked upon as-" he broke off and exchanged a look with Sirius, who grimaced at him. "They're looked upon as second class citizens. People don't like them, and people wouldn't want their kids going to school with one. No wonder Remus kept it quiet. And no wonder he didn't tell us - he was afraid we'd hate him and probably that we'd tell everyone what he was so that they'd all hate him too," he said softly.

Lily looked horrified.

"But we'd never do that - surely he knows that?"

"He doesn't know shit, Lil," Laurel said quietly. "You're Muggle-born, you don't understand the way wizards treat werewolves."

Lily looked stubborn. "Well, I understand that it's just prejudice, and Muggles have that too. We're not going to fall out with him, are we?"

"It's not as simple as that, Lil," said James. "We know Remus wouldn't hurt a fly, and of course we won't stop being friends with him. But you have to understand that unlike Muggle prejudice, about skin colour or gender or age, there is a valid reason that people don't like werewolves. When Remus is a wolf, he won't be able to control himself - that's why he was heading into the Forbidden Forest with Hagrid. He's probably going to chain him up or something. He has to stay away from people - he's a danger to anyone he comes across when he's under the Change. Even us," he added, seeing Lily open her mouth to object. She frowned and closed it again. "He wouldn't recognise us. When he's a wolf, he's really a wolf."

Sirius, who hadn't said anything since they'd seen Remus and Dumbledore, shook his head. "This is such a mess," he said sadly. Then he straightened, and looked Lily in the eye. "Lily, the bottom line is this. Remus is still Remus, and we all love him. We're going to prove to him that we're better friends than he gives us credit for. But you need to remember this, because it could save your life; werewolves aren't people who sometimes look like wolves. They're wolves who sometimes look like people. Part of Remus' brain is the brain of a wolf. That doesn't mean he's not a good guy," he added hurriedly. "He is, he's still Remus, and don't forget that. But don't forget that he's a wolf too. Because a lot of people have died - or worse - because they tried to ignore the fact that someone they like was a wolf."

Laurel stood up suddenly, spilling her hot chocolate. "I'm going to bed," she said abruptly.

Ignoring Lily's attempts to catch her eye and Sirius' confused face, Laurel ran off up to the girls' dorm. When Lily came up a few minutes later, she heard her whispering Laurel's name, but she didn't answer.

The rest of the week flew past. Laurel could barely concentrate. In her Potions lesson, she spilled her bat wings all over the floor, and Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy nearly did themselves an injury laughing while the professor screamed at her. After the lesson, Snape had sidled up and made a crack about how it was a shame her geeky little friend wasn't there to help her - had she killed him with her terrible potion making skills? She had felt Sirius stiffen beside her, and put her hand on his arm in an effort to calm him.

"Oh look, Severus - Black's got himself a little girlfriend!" Malfoy had sniggered. Laurel smiled. He hadn't been sniggering quite so hard when Sirius had given him a black eye after the lesson. He'd lost ten points for Gryffindor and received detention, but since there was only Snape to back up Malfoy, whereas James, Lily, Laurel and Peter had all argued that Malfoy had started it, he'd lost ten points for Slytherin too.

Suddenly the door to the common room opened, and Remus walked in. Laurel gasped and leapt to her feet, knocking over the chair where she'd been sitting working on her Defence Against the Dark Arts essay.

"Remus!" she cried, her heart feeling light for the first time since they'd discovered his secret. "You're back!"

He looked awful, his face was pale and pinched, and there were scratches and cuts on his arms, but he was Remus, and he was back. He gave her a grin, and she ran forward to hug him. He stiffened at first, slightly taken aback, and then relaxed into it and hugged her back.

"Why, Laurie," he drawled. "I never knew you cared,"

Laurel broke away and stared at him for a second.

"But I do care," she said in a serious voice. Then she reddened slightly. "I mean, we all care. We miss you when you're away."

Remus gazed at her. Although they weren't pressed up against each other anymore, he still had his arms around her, he realised. His heart started to beat very fast, and they just stood there for a long minute, his gentle amber eyes looking deep into her liquid brown ones.

"REMUS!!" came a cry from the door behind them, interrupting them and they turned to see Sirius Black hurling himself towards them. Remus let go of Laurel just as Sirius threw himself on top of him. Laughing, the two boys fell over, rolling across the floor. Laurel giggled, and Sirius looked up, grinned, and grabbed her hand. Shrieking, she was pulled down on top of them, and the three of them wriggled around on the floor for a few minutes, before another shout alerted them to the fact that James and Lily had arrived at the doorway. James ran over, pulling Remus to his feet and embracing him.

Remus felt a flash of disappointment as James pulled him out of the fray - he'd been sort of enjoying being able to touch Laurel without anyone saying anything. As he and James pulled apart, he glanced down at Sirius and Laurel, still fooling around on the floor, and felt a stab of jealousy as he saw Sirius tickling her. I want to make her laugh, he thought. I want to be the reason she smiles. He gave a wry smile. Great. I think I officially have a crush on one of my best friends. Of course, it could have been worse, he reflected. He could have had a crush on Sirius.

"Well, that's it. I'm never eating again."

"Siri, you always say that!" chorused Lily and Laurel. Sirius grinned. They were back in the common room after another fantastic meal, and had been drinking more of Sirius' hot chocolate.

Remus stood up and stretched. Laurel tried to pretend she hadn't noticed his T-shirt had risen up slightly, revealing a line of lean stomach. He yawned. "I think I'm going to make a move, guys - time for bed."

James and Sirius looked at each other worriedly. "Um, actually, Remy, could we have a word first?" asked James nervously.

Remus glanced at them all, looking up at him. The first irrational thought that ran through his head was 'they know, they know about me', but that was crazy, they couldn't possibly know. They probably want to talk about Christmas presents or something, he thought, trying to calm the butterflies in his stomach.

He sat down and smiled at James. "What's up Jamie?" he asked, trying to keep his voice casual.

James didn't smile back. He cleared his throat, wondering where to begin - bloody Sirius, why did he always leave stuff like this to him? Then he looked at Remus, his eyes so gentle but with a flicker of fear in them, and remembered the scared little boy he and Sirius had found on the train the year before. Suddenly he wasn't nervous anymore. This was just Remus. What had he been so worried about?

Breaking into a genuine smile, James leaned forward. "We have to tell you something, Remy," he said, choosing his words carefully. He took a deep breath. "We accidentally saw you the other night, when we went out with the Invisibility Cloak. We saw you with Hagrid and Dumbledore."

Remus froze. They know. They know, and they hate you. They're going to come after you in the night, with silver, they don't trust you, they're going to smile but it won't reach their eyes and they'll ask you if you wouldn't mind sleeping somewhere else at night. They think you're dirty, you're just a stupid wolf, they won't talk to you anymore, and you'll be alone. All alone. Now, and forever.

Laurel looked from James to Remus, and saw the horror in his eyes that James' words had caused. From her seat on the couch she fell to the floor in front of him, grabbing his hands. She put her face very close to his, and whispered to him.

"We know, Remus. We know, and we don't care. We love you," she said softly. Behind her, she heard James say without embarrassment, "I love you, Remus."

Beside him, Lily gave his hand a squeeze, and then smiled at Remus. "I love you too," she said firmly. On the other side of her, Peter stammered the words, and then Sirius, his face bright red, addressing himself to a spot just above Remus' head. Laurel swallowed - it might have been true, but it was particularly hard to say for her, and not because she was embarrassed, like Sirius - she was suddenly insanely afraid that Remus would laugh at her. She raised her eyes to his again, and looking there, she wasn't afraid anymore.

"I love you, Remus. I love you," she said, her eyes shining. His heart squeezed slightly, but he couldn't concentrate on his hormones right now. He looked at them all, and managed to say some of the words rushing through his head.

"But - but don't you..." he trailed off, unable to finish the question, too scared of the answer. James immediately realised what he was saying, and answered.

"No, Remy. We couldn't care less that once a month, you get a bit hairier. We just want you to be able to trust us. We're friends with you, Remus, and not because of what you are; we're friends with you because of who you are."

Beside him, Lily nodded vigorously. Peter grinned at him. "Like we'd ever get any homework done without you telling us off?" he said. Sirius elbowed him in the ribs.

"Yeah, and as if we're going to fall out with someone who could eat that wanker Snape for us if we got really pissed off with him!"

Remus gave them all a watery smile. His throat constricted painfully, but the words he was struggling with didn't need to be said.

"You're welcome, Moony," said James, giving him a warm smile.

A few hours later, everyone except Laurel was in bed. She tiptoed downstairs, to the common room, unable to sleep, and stood at the window, staring out at the night sky. 'Lupe...' she thought.

"I wish you were here," she said quietly.

"Wish who was here?"

She spun around instantly, suddenly very aware she was only wearing a flimsy nightgown. Remus was curled up on one of the couches by the fire, wearing a pair of pyjama bottoms. In her reverie, she'd walked straight past him. She smiled at him, her heart racing, trying to ignore his sinewy chest.

"Remus, you scared me. I didn't realise anyone was down here," she said, hand on her heart. She walked over and sat down beside him, pulling her legs up underneath her. Remus suddenly remembered he didn't have a shirt on, and was about to cross his arms when he realised Laurel was having a hard time meeting his eyes - she seemed more concerned about his stomach. She likes the way I look, he thought, and was surprised at how much pleasure the thought gave him.

"So Laurel," he said, watching in amusement as she managed to drag her gaze away from his torso. "Isn't it a bit late to be wandering around Gryffindor Tower?"

Laurel shrugged. "Well, I'm used to being up late at home, because of-" she broke off, biting her lip hard. Remus hesitated for a second, and then reached out and took her hand. Spontaneous physical affection didn't come easy to either of them, unlike Lily or Sirius, so it meant all the more to her. He looked at her gently.

"I know you don't like to talk about your family, Laurel, but you can trust me. If you want to talk about it, I'd like to listen," he said, squeezing her hand. She looked down at it, but instead of letting go, she entwined her fingers with his more securely and squeezed back.

"The reason I didn't want you to feel bad about being a wolf..." she trailed off, and took a deep breath. Can I do this, she wondered. She'd never said the words to anyone before; no-one except for her mother knew. She looked at Remus, his amber eyes so inviting and open, so free of judgement. Think about who you're talking to, she admonished herself. Of course you can tell him.

She took another deep breath. "My sister is a werewolf," she said slowly. "My - my baby sister. My dad was human, a wizard, but Lupe's dad, he was a wolf. My mum had an affair with him just after my dad died." She smiled bitterly. "I think they only had sex a handful of times, but it was enough to conceive Lupe. And then he left her. It broke my mum's heart all over again. She's never really got over it - Dad dying, then Gary leaving her, and then giving birth to Lupe, all in less than a year. It sort of..."

She took another deep breath, and Remus squeezed her hand again, sensing this was something she had to say on her own. She closed her eyes for a second.

"It sort of broke her mind, too. She's had depression for a long time, since she was not much older than me, but after Lupe was born - well, she never really came back to normal again."

She stopped again. How could she explain? The horror of realising that mummy didn't want to look after the baby, that the baby would die if Laurel didn't look after her. That the six year old Laurel had just become a mother of two and one of them was her own mum. Trying desperately to comfort a screaming child, who went through unimaginable pain every month - trying to protect her from a pain she herself did not understand. Crying at mummy's bedside, the tears dripping silently down her face, trying to make her get up, take her to school, play with her, make dinner, do something, anything... And then the guilty elation she'd felt at her Hogwarts letter, the chance to escape, but how could she, how could she leave Lupe, or her mother? But the likelihood of ever getting that chance again... How could she put that into words? How could she explain it to anyone, much less a boy she liked?

To her horror, she felt a single tear begin to slide down her face. She brushed it away furiously only to have it replaced by two more. Oh God, he'll never speak to me again, he'll think I'm as crazy as my mother, she thought wildly.

Remus watched her, wracked with pain, sobbing but trying to conceal it from him, and his heart almost broke. How could I have been so selfish, he thought angrily. Why didn't I realise that other people have problems too, that they deal with them every day? She's been hiding this her entire life, who knows if she's ever been able to tell anyone before tonight...

Before he knew what he was doing, he pulled her towards him. She came easily, needing him, needing to feel that comfort. This was what she'd always longed for; someone to hold her when she was unhappy, and she'd never had it, ever. Lupe would have held her, but she never wanted to worry her, wanted to make Lupe's home the best possible place she could. She leaned into him, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly, wanting to protect her from everything - but how can you protect someone from their own past, he thought sadly.

He looked down at her just as she lifted her head to look at him, her soft brown eyes still shining with tears. She was so beautiful, he realised. How had he never seen it before? She wasn't pretty in the conventional sense, but her soul shone out through her face, and made you want to never stop looking at her. Without even realising he was doing it, he lowered his face to hers.

She felt his lips touch against hers for the briefest of seconds, before he pulled back, looking shocked.

"I - I'm sorry, Laurie, I didn't mean to..." he stammered.

Laurel ignored him, and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his mouth back on top of hers and kissing him hungrily, still half-crying. He responded admirably, wrapping his arms ever more tightly around her, pulling her almost painfully close to him. She could feel his hands running through her hair, curling it around his long fingers, and she slipped her hands through his own brown locks, twirling the tiny curls at the bottom around her fingers. Slowly, they slid down the couch until she was lying half on top of him.

He moaned her name, brushing her hair back from her face, noticing her cheeks were wet - of course, she'd just been crying - and slid his hands up and down her sides, lifting her thin cotton nightgown slightly. She broke off and started to kiss his neck, and he moaned again, throwing back his head.

She heard him moan, and felt incredibly powerful - she could choose whether or not to let him feel pleasure - and judging from whatever was digging into her thigh, he was definitely feeling that - or she could pull away and leave him unsatisfied. Not that she wanted to pull away, she thought, giggling inwardly.

He pulled her away from his neck, and moved her head to face him again, just inches away from kissing her. He stared at her, drinking in the sight of her face. His amber eyes were dilated, almost black with passion; hers were sparkling with joy, her tears forgotten. His lips curved upwards into a smile, and for the first time she noticed how elongated his canines were, and a memory drifted to her of Lupe accidentally biting her one day, how sharp her teeth were. She'd just been a baby, and hadn't even broken the skin, but she'd had the same long canines, sharp and white, and once a month, completely lethal. Not that Lupe was lethal, she was still a little girl. But Remus... Remus could probably kill someone now. She looked at him again. Well, right now he didn't look like he could even kill time.

He gazed at her, wondering what she was thinking. He stroked her hair back from her face again, and she smiled contentedly. She rested her head on his bare chest, her lips bruised from kissing, and sighed happily. He kissed her head, and stroked her arms, her back, her hair, her face. He closed his eyes, his hands still absently moving over her body, and moved slightly with pleasure as he felt her occasionally move her head to kiss his chest.

They stayed like that for a long time.

"So we're decided then?"

Upstairs from where Remus and Laurel were currently falling asleep, Remus' friends were taking advantage of his absence to discuss his problem.

"We can't tell Lily or Laurel, they'll only want to join in," said Peter firmly.

"Agreed," replied James. "I don't want to endanger Lil- er, them, and these are complicated spells we're talking about. We could get expelled, or we could really hurt ourselves."

"Ah, but we'll never know unless we try," smirked Sirius. "Let's find out if we're as smart as we think we are. I'm in."

"Peter?"

"Me too. You two will have to help me, though - I don't think I'll be able to do it all by myself."

"That's okay, we don't mind - do we, Siri?"

"Nuh-uh. We'll keep an eye on you, young Pettigrew, don't worry about it."

"Thanks, guys."

"Animagi," breathed James. "If we can pull this off, we're gonna have such a great time..."