Soaring (Aufschwung)

Sirius Black looked on, helplessly, miserably, as he watched his best friend write a letter to him. Remus's eyes were red and swollen from crying and his hands shook as he wrote. Dear Padfoot, the letter began, You're laughing at me right now, with your hair blowing in the wind and your eyes dancing. You're probably thinking, "Moony, you great idiot, dead people can't receive owl post!"

"I'm not laughing, Moony. Not laughing at all. Merlin, Moony...I want you here," murmured Sirius quietly, an aching feeling rising in his chest. He touched the surface of the enchanted waters. "Harry Potter!" he said clearly. The surface of the small pool rippled and the back of Harry's head swam into focus. He, too was writing a letter, and Sirius was willing to bet that Remus had put him up to it. Sure enough, the first line read: Remus told me to do this--to write a letter to you. He said that it helps with the grief...I can't see how it would help me, because you'll never read this. A tear fell from his eyes as he watched his godson. The drop fell into the pool and the image rippled and flickered slightly before fading entirely. He stared at it for a moment before remembering what Lily had said about the pool--how you should only touch it to see someone.

"Padfoot, old friend? You ok?" said James's voice behind him. Sirius turned around and faced his best friend. James's hazel eyes were uncharacteristically serious.

"I'm fine, Prongs," he said, hastily wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

"No, you're not. None of us are ever fine just after we get here, no matter how lovely it is," said James. Sirius looked at his surroundings--true, this world was extremely beautiful, like the world of the living, but an earth with everything you could ever want. No war, no pollution, just emerald wilderness, with snow-capped mountains in the background. The homes here were almost part of the delicate forest, either up in the towering mallorns, floating in the rivers, or dug into little hillocks. Yet despite all this, Sirius felt utterly miserable.

"It is really beautiful, but I still wish that I could be back on earth. I feel like I let them down somehow, Remus and Harry and everyone else."

"Don't be ridiculous, Sirius. It's not your fault that you died. Blame Bellatrix Lestrange if you want to blame anyone," said James with a bite of impatience in his voice.

"If I hadn't gone after Harry, I'd still be there. He wouldn't be in such bad shape--"

"Think. Sirius. Use that famous brain. If you hadn't gone to help him, you wouldn't have been able to live with yourself anyway." The impatience was growing--he'd had to listen to Sirius's griping and self-blame for longer than he would've liked. "Don't you think that Lily and I felt awful when we orphaned Harry? But it wasn't our fault."

"No. It was mine."

"You're an idiot. It was Voldemort's fault. None of this was your responsibility, and you know it. Don't place the blame of the world on your own back." James put a hand on Sirius's shoulder and gripped it tightly. Sirius smiled slightly.

"I knew you'd say that. You always find some way to quote Dumbledore and slip it in."

"What can I say? It's an old habit," said James with a lopsided smile. "You wanna drop by for dinner again? Lily's making Chinese food."

"Mmmm...sure. But what's the point of cooking if we don't need to eat?"

"Surely the great Padfoot wouldn't pass up a chance for food? Who are you and what have you done with Sirius Black?" Sirius laughed and followed his friend through the forest. The Potters' house wasn't too far from his own--as a matter of fact, his treehouse was just a few minutes walk from their little home. The hillock came into view, and even before he could pick out the garden, he could already smell Lily's fantastic cooking. Every time he looked at James's home, it reminded him strongly of a hobbit-hole--round door with a knob in the middle, set in a hill, with rounded corridors and a warm, homey feeling.

"Sirius! Glad you could drop by!" Lily burst out of the door, red hair flying everywhere. She was holding a spoon in her hand and gave James a kiss before hugging Sirius so tightly that the wind was almost knocked out of him. He rolled his eyes over her shoulder and James chuckled a bit.

"Lily...get a grip...you're squeezing my ribs too hard," he choked. She turned a bit pink and stepped back from him. "Anyway...smells great. What're we having?"

"I can't pronounce it for the life of me, but I promise it's good." Sirius and James followed her into the house, down the main corridor, and into the dining room. She Summoned several mouthwatering dishes from the kitchen and set them down on the maple wood table. "Eat up."

Sirius didn't need to be told twice. He immediately piled his plate with a veritable mountain of food, earning himself a look of exasperated amusement from James. "Only Sirius could ever eat that much all in one sitting."

"Shud op, 'amez," Sirius muttered with his mouth packed. Lily laughed and shook her head at him.

"Don't go spraying food all over my table." Sirius gave an enormous swallow and grinned at her before stuffing himself again. "So, where were you today, darling?" she addressed James, pointedly ignoring Sirius while he wolfed down his food.

"I fancied a walk, so I headed into the village. Had a butterbeer with Fabian Prewett." He took a sip of his wine.

"Really? I haven't seen Fabian for quite a while now. How is he?"

"Fine. He hasn't been keeping up on the war, though. Says it's none of his business anymore. Rather sad, actually."

"Wha?" said Sirius suddenly. He gulped down his food and continued, "Fabian's not keeping up on the war?"

"Neither's Gideon. Most of the people here who fought against Voldemort--oh, for Merlin's sake, Lily--don't really keep tabs on it after a few years. Lily and I have, though, just for the sake of seeing Harry grow up, and looking out for you and Remus."

"Oh. So you two watched me make an idiot of myself?"

"Sort of. A hippogriff, I ask you. Even you weren't that flamboyant while we were still at school," said James, but his eyes were shining with pride. "But there were several people whom I really wanted to curse."

"Like who?" said Lily suspiciously.

"Ho hum, love," said James wearily. "Wormtail, Crouch, all the dementors in existence, Fudge, that toad woman...er...Umbridge, Snivellus--"

"Honestly, James. Severus was never that bad; he's working for the Order!" said Lily severely.

"Doesn't keep him from being a slimy git."

"Hear, hear," said Sirius enthusiastically. He and James exchanged smirks at Lily's expression, the same one she'd worn when James had shown Snape's underpants to the world. "I've been watching them a lot...I guess I feel an obligation to see them through this war."

"But you're just an onlooker. That pool can't transport you back, you know. It doesn't do to dwell on dreams, Padfoot, and forget to live."

"Not a very relevant Dumbledore statement. For example, we all happen to be dead. What's going on down there also are not dreams," retorted Sirius acidly. He finished the last bites of his dinner and gave a sigh of contentment. "Great food, Lily."

"Thanks. Listen, Sirius. You're kinda stuck here. Watching them isn't really going to help the war. And it could be a lot worse."

"I can't imagine it being worse than being stuck here while Remus and Harry and Tonks and everyone in the Order fight for their lives. Just being helpless like this is a pain in the arse, so how could it be worse?"

"You could be stuck on the other side," said Lily quietly. At this, both she and James exchanged darkly meaningful looks and shuddered. Sirius stared at them, utterly nonplused.

"What d'you mean, other side?" he asked curiously. "I thought that all of us wizards came here when we died?"

"Well...not the Dark wizards and evil gits. They're stuck on the other side of the mountains," said James hesitantly. "You know how this place is like life on earth, but much better? That place is like hell on earth...you need to have been there to get the idea."

"What, we're allowed in there or something?"

"Yeah. We can pop our heads in there and take a look around, but they can never come here...if you want to, we can go take a look...give you some idea of what it's like."

"Well, in that case, I'm not coming along. One visit was enough," said Lily firmly. James shrugged his shoulders and Sirius rolled his eyes before he and James headed out of the dining room. "You really should take jackets, both of you!" she called after them. James sighed and grabbed a jacket from the coat rack before tossing one to Sirius. He caught it and slipped it on as they walked out of the house.

"How're we supposed to get there? We can't just Apparate there or anything, can we?" he asked James. James shook his head, and they headed toward the enchanted pool.

"We need to contact the border control. They'll send an escort--we can't cross unless one of the escorts is with us." When they arrived at the pool, James, rather than touching it with his hands, grabbed one of the little silver stones from the edge and tossed it in. "Border control," he said clearly. Sirius, expecting someone's face to appear, jumped back and accidentally trod on his friend's feet as an angel rose from the pool and stepped out onto the shore. An real angel--but there was no halo, and the wings and robe, rather than white, were a soft amber. Sirius gaped at her as she stepped toward them and reached out a hand to James.

"Greetings, James Potter. Who art thy accomplice?" said the angel in a low, rich voice, shaking hands with him.

"This is Sirius Black, Sestine," said James. The angel turned her face toward Sirius, who was still goggling. "He's new here." James was unsuccessfully suppressing a chuckle at his friend's stricken expression.

"Welcome, Sirius Black," said Sestine gravely, reaching out a hand to him. Sirius snapped himself out of his trance and shook her hand. Her hand felt soft and cool--yet light, as though it wasn't quite real. "Now, Mr. Potter, why didst thou summon me here?" she said, addressing James again.

"Sirius wanted to see the other side, and I figured that I might as well accompany him," said James tentatively. The angel's mouth thinned slightly and she gave Sirius a piercing look; he stared defiantly back. After what seemed like an eternity, the angel nodded.

"Very well. I shall fly thee over." She offered one of her hands to either of them and in a single, effortless swoop of her great wings, took off into the air. Sirius let out a little gasp of delight at the flying sensation that he hadn't felt for so long. They soared through the canopy of the trees, and the angel's unnatural strength propelled them far over the forest. Underneath them, the forest gave way to the countryside, then to the town, then the city. The mountains drew nearer and nearer, and Sirius's eyes started watering from the cold. As they approached the mountains, he could feel something resisting them, almost as if there were a giant sheet of invisible rubber spanning the peaks and into the sky. The closer they got, the harder the sheet of rubber seemed to be pushing them back...but when they went right over the highest peak, they seemed to have broken through whatever had been pushing them back.

Sirius gasped in horror as he rubbed his streaming eyes and looked down. Here too were forests, then country, then a town, then a city. But--the trees of the forest were burned and blackened. Nothing seemed to be alive here, and their barren, charred branches reached for a bloodred sky. As they descended for the counterpart of the pool, he could see puddles of toxins and piles of garbage littering the forest floor. Worst of all, he could feel the wind--a cold, harsh wind that took his body heat away in seconds. But the wind seemed to go within him, into his very being, and Sirius was reminded forcibly of the dementors.

The angel landed and as his feet touched the ground, an awful sick feeling swept through his body. He clutched at his stomach and would've fallen to his knees had James not grabbed him and held him up. "Don't worry about that, Padfoot. It'll pass eventually," said James soothingly, but his voice was quivering.

Slowly, painfully, the sick feeling lessened, but Sirius could still feel it, a cold tang on the back of his throat. "Thanks, Prongs," he said weakly, and James let go of him. Only the angel seemed unharmed--both James and Sirius were shaking slightly already and looked worse for the wear, and they'd only been there for a few moments. Sirius looked down at the counterpart pool. Instead of smooth silver pebbles, it was surrounded by shards of black obsidian, sharper than any knife could ever be. The surface was covered with slime and all sorts of large black insects--apparently there was "life" here. He tore his eyes from the pool and he and James headed into the forest, with Sestine floating behind them.

There were no treehouses or river homes here. The houses on the ground were ramshackle huts, held together by vines, dirt, trash, whatever the inhabitants could find. Sirius saw a few people peeping out from behind trees and piles of refuse at him. Their faces were pale, thin, and their clothing was thin and ragged--there was jealousy and lust in their gaze as they stared at him and James.

"Merlin's beard," murmured Sirius quietly at the sight of a old woman being beaten by a young man. Before he knew what he was doing, he was striding toward her. Halfway there, he felt Sestine's hands grip his arms.

"Thou shalt not lay thy hands upon them," she said gravely.

"Why not? She's being hurt, tortured!" yelled Sirius, struggling against her surprisingly strong grip. The souls stopped what they were doing, staring at the struggling man.

"This is a world of punishment for the condemned. Cast thy eyes upon yonder lady--doth she remind thee of anyone?" Despite himself, Sirius looked curiously at the old woman. She did look vaguely familiar...her rolling, bloodshot eyes, the string of drool from her mouth--

"What's the matter, you filthy whelp of a blood traitor? Don't even recognize your own mother?" screeched the old woman. Sirius yelped and leapt back as she pointed her crooked finger at him, crushing James's foot for the second time that day.

"Mother?!" He looked now at the young man who had been hitting her...no. Same small beady eyes, same pointed features as he remembered. "Regulus?!"

Mrs. Black's face contorted. "Look's like I've got both of my nasty offspring here, now doesn't it? And why have you turned against me too, Regulus?" she howled, frothing at the mouth.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GOT ME HERE! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO BROUGHT ME UP TO BE THIS SCUM, YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING BIT--"

"Little bro, it was your decision to join the Death Eaters. You could've turned your back of her anytime you wanted," said Sirius quietly. Regulus turned on him, his eyes full of hatred.

"LOOK WHO'S TALKING! THE BLOOD TRAITOR!" howled Regulus, spit flying from his mouth as well.

"You're more like our dear mum than you'll ever realize," said Sirius coolly. "Sure, I'm a blood traitor, and a bastard, and every other insult you could ever imagine, but I'm not stuck here with you trash, am I?" The brief pity he'd felt for them immediately vanished, only to be replaced by the lifelong hatred against his family. His mother and brother goggled at him and he forced himself to ignore them and turned to James. "You were right, mate. It could be a lot worse."

"A visit here really makes you appreciate our side of the mountains, eh?" said James. Sirius nodded vigorously and turned to Sestine.

"Can we go now?"

"Hast thou seen what thee desired?"

"Yes. I'd like to leave now," he said. Then, hesitantly, he added, "Thank you for bringing us here. It really put me in my place." For the first time, a slight smile flicked across the angel's face. She took their hands and lifted them into the sky--heading for home.