Engulfed

Harry could feel it inside him all summer, taunting, building, growing. This feeling was bubbling like the fizz in champagne, slowly increasing until the cork pops off. He felt it in his chest, causing him to breathe deeply. With each breath came a sharp stab of pain, cutting deeper into the already open wound in his heart. His emotions had haunted him, but for too long he had to keep them in check, way too long. At last he was able to let go and be free, but he couldn't. Now that nothing was stopping him, the tears would not come and the screams got caught in his throat. Harry still felt the same, devastated, crushed and even hateful, but he could not express them.

Sirius was dead. Harry knew that and it killed him inside. It burned, it chilled, and it stung. The fact tormented his thoughts and his dreams. Harry could not close his eyes, not even to blink, without seeing the veil. Somewhere deep inside his heart he wished he had followed Sirius through the veil. Wherever they went, at least they would be together. But he never let this desire relocate into his mind, for he knew it was incredibly selfish to have this thought. The world needed him and he could not let it down. But the wish still hung, like a long forgotten coat in the back of the hall closet. No matter how many coats he pushed in front of it, covering it, it was still there.

Harry readjusted his legs into a more comfortable position as he looked out to the lake. His legs had fallen asleep causing pins and needles to prick him. He was almost grateful for the pain, it was somewhat of a release for the pain he felt inside. Harry rested his head on his knees for a few moments. He tried to empty his mind of all thoughts, to be free of this prison of emotions.

Suddenly he heard a rustle in the bushes behind him, he did not move. If it was Voldemort, let him kill him. At this point, he didn't care anymore. Small, delicate footsteps sounded, but Harry kept his head on his knees. He heard someone sit beside him and a small arm reach around his shoulders. Harry felt curly hair brush against his face, but still he did not look up. He couldn't look up.

A finger was placed under his chin forcing him to look at her. He looked deep into her eyes. His head fell to her shoulder and he began to cry. He sobbed, gulping air between each violent outburst. Hermione held him tighter as he shook with emotion. His body convulsed with great, racking wails. Pain radiated from his body, like electric shocks. Still, she held on to him tightly. Hermione's shirt was soon soaked with his tears and his shuddering quieted. For a while they stayed there, his head on her shoulder, her arm around his back. Soon he sat up, she wiped the stray tears from his cheeks and together they watched the moon. Silence settled upon them like a heavy blanket. Harry spoke softly, shattering the stillness.

"Thank you..."