Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel

7. Winter Solstice

1975 - Sixth Year

This holiday season was darker than any in recent memory. Wizards and witches around Britain were reluctant to be about, to visit friends and share in the usual celebrations. Rumours of strange disappearances, 'accidents' to persons and property, tales of odd behaviour and acts of violence were circulating in both print and gossip. That they were related to the rising strength of 'You-Know-Who' was certain. When the next attack would come--or to whom tragedy would befall--was not.

Many families chose to have their children remain at school for the holidays, since Hogwarts, with its ancient protections, was felt to be the safest place in the wizarding world. Many students were disappointed and sad, missing the time with their families. For a particular group of Gryffindor students who were not on speaking terms, holidays at Hogwarts were excruciating.

The Great Hall during the Christmas Eve feast found the remaining Gryffindors seated at different ends of their usual table like so many pieces of driftwood scattered upon the shore. Lily sat at one end with Annette and Alice. James sat with Peter at the other end. Sirius sat in the middle with Remus, who didn't want to leave Sirius to eat by himself. Lily, James and Sirius ate their meals disconsolately, and their friends worked hard at trying to cheer them up. All in all, it was a pretty miserable holiday meal for everyone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Peter
Remus had gathered them all outside the Gryffindor common room. He had decided that it was time to do something about this unbearable situation.

"What do you suggest, Remus?" asked Alice.

"We've badgered Lily to talk with them, to sort it out, but she's so bloody stubborn!" exclaimed Annette, folding her arms with an exasperated huff.

"Sirius and James are the same," Remus concurred. "But this is affecting all of us, not only them. Don't you agree, Peter?"

While Peter didn't like to see James miserable, he did rather like that, for once, James was ignoring Sirius. Still, he wasn't enjoying his holidays as much as he'd hoped.

"Yes, Remus. You're right," Peter agreed reluctantly.

Remus sighed and looked ruefully at Peter. "Whatever put that stupid idea into his head, Wormtail? And why in blazes did you encourage him?"

"Thank goodness I wasn't there," Alice muttered. "I'd have hexed him so badly he'd still be begging for mercy."

Peter gazed at his feet. "You know how he is, Moony! Once he gets something into his head, it can't be yanked out for anything. I thought if I was there, I could make sure it didn't get any worse--"

"Any worse?" Annette interrupted. "How much worse could it have been?" She grimaced, scratching her arm in remembrance of the pain. "Still," she added, "even I believe that James didn't have anything to do with it. Why won't she give him a break at least?"

"I think we're past blaming at this point," said Remus. "Sirius is miserable and beating himself up enough for all of us." Remus looked at each of them. "It's time we take matters in our own hands, and I have an idea how to do it. Are you with me?"

They all nodded, Peter a bit less enthusiastically.

"Good. First off, make sure you all dress warmly. It's going to be a long, cold night."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Severus
Severus woke as the first light of dawn flickered past his eyes. He sat up abruptly and reached for his wand, caught off guard by unfamiliar sensations. Then, realizing he was not in his bed in the Slytherin dungeons, he relaxed as he took in his new surroundings. He lay in the largest bed he'd ever been in his whole life. The imposing, four-poster, dark wood frame was elaborately carved with vines of ivy and flying birds. A large oriental rug covered the polished oak floors, and elegant, silk draperies framed the tall casement windows through which the morning light shone elegantly across the room.

Malfoy Manor.

Severus felt both unnerved and strangely happy. He'd never slept anywhere except at Spinner's End and Hogwarts. Except for the very few times, when he was small, when he'd gone to his grandparents' home by the sea. The past twenty-four hours had been the strangest, most exciting of his life, and he lay back onto the soft, down pillows and closed his eyes to relish it all over again.

~*~

On the previous day, Severus had been met at the Wiltshire train station by Lucius Malfoy's coach and driver. The coachman took his trunk wordlessly and bowed briefly as Severus stepped inside the coach. For someone who had lived his whole life feeling invisible, these attentions, these small acknowledgements put Severus a bit off balance.

The first sight of Malfoy Manor was one that Severus would never forget. The large, honey-stoned mansion stood by itself at the top of a hill, its front columns leering like a marbled grin, staring down on the trees, hedges and gardens below it. Imposing. Beckoning. Threatening. Seductive.

The coach ascended to the Manor along a gravelled path that was lined on both sides by clipped Irish yews. As the coach wound its way up the hill, the Manor grew larger and more intimidating. Finally, Severus was jerked back into the seat as the conveyance came to a stop. Stepping out into the front courtyard, he looked up and saw, carved into niches along the exterior of the Manor, tall, stone figures that he guessed must be carved representations of previous Malfoys; all of them seemed to be staring at him.

"Snape!"

Severus stepped back, startled, nearly tripping on his robes. Had one of the statues spoken?

"I hope you had no trouble on your journey?" Lucius Malfoy was approaching Severus with a smile, extending his hand in greeting. He was dressed as elegantly as always with an ermine-lined cloak and soft, calfskin gloves.

Severus took Malfoy's gloved hand in his own potion-stained one and shook it in greeting. "No, sir. No trouble at all. Thank you for sending the coach, although it wasn't really necessary...."

Malfoy steered Severus towards the left-side stairs leading to the main entrance.

"Of course it was necessary, Snape! You are my guest, and I make sure that all my guests are treated well! Besides, you'd never have gotten past the protections by yourself. I take a great deal of care minding who comes in and who goes out," Malfoy remarked with the hint of a smirk. He led Severus up the stairs with a strong grip on his shoulder. "I know you'll have a lovely visit with us. Narcissa, especially, has been looking forward to seeing you. We're both delighted you'll be able to join us for our engagement celebration tomorrow evening!"

As Severus entered the Manor through the large doors that led into the main entrance hall, he was stunned to a full stop, nearly blinded by the staggering whiteness of the room. Every inch of the entrance hall was covered in brilliant, white marble, made even brighter due to the light that poured into the hall from twelve-foot high windows and reflected off of every surface. Only enormous, flower-filled vases placed upon several marble-topped tables that lined the walls created a lush and colourful punctuation to the whiteness.

The entrance hall was framed on its far sides by large double doors, clearly leading off to other parts of the Manor, and in the middle, a regal staircase led up to a landing before winding back to the upper floors. A movement at the top of the landing caught Severus' eye, and he saw, coming down the staircase, the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. She smiled as she swept down towards them and held out her hand to Severus. He took it, surprised to find his own were slightly shaking.

Both of her small hands held his one, and she squeezed it gently. "Severus! I remember you now! I was in seventh year with Lucius."

Severus looked at her blankly, amazed that he had no recollection of her. She noticed his blank look.

"I'm Narcissa Black! I'm so happy that you have come to stay and celebrate with us!" Narcissa let go of Severus' hand and swept herself into Lucius' arms to receive his kiss. Severus took in the cut of her sweeping, emerald-green velvet robes, which revealed every curve, and the necklace of brilliant diamonds that sparkled at her throat. Her long, blond hair fell loosely along her face that was as perfect as any piece of marble in the hall, and her blue eyes looked kindly at Severus, causing him to catch his breath while heat rose to his face. Thankfully, Narcissa didn't seem to need a reply.

"Lucius," Narcissa said, taking Severus' arm in hers, "I'm going to show Severus his rooms and review the schedule."

"Of course, Narcissa." Malfoy nodded. "I have some business to attend to. Severus, feel free to explore the grounds, if you like. I'll see you at dinner, seven o'clock sharp. Dress robes." Malfoy turned and went through the doors to the left.

Severus felt dizzy by the strangeness of it all, the unfamiliar opulence, the courtesy. The scent Narcissa was wearing. Jasmine and rose petals. Suddenly, his heart, which was already racing, sped up further, and he was suddenly possessed by a strong urge to turn around and flee. Fortunately, Narcissa still had a firm hold on his arm. "Miss Black, I'm sorry, but I don't have dress robes...."

Narcissa laughed as she guided Severus towards the main staircase. "Everything has been seen to, Severus. You'll find a full wardrobe in your room with everything you'll need inside. Our house-elf, Mab, will be assisting you during your stay."

Looking into her eyes was like falling into a pool of cool water. Her smile was soothing and Severus relaxed at once. "Thank you, Miss Black. I - I appreciate your kindness in having me here and making me feel... welcomed."

Narcissa laughed again. It sounded like the tinkle of glass chimes, Severus thought. "Please, call me Narcissa! I'm only a few years older than you, you know." She held him at arms length and looked him up and down with an appraising eye. "You've grown some since your first year! Hmm... yes, you have some promise." She nodded and smiled again as she hooked her arm through his once again and led him down a long hallway.

It wasn't until well after Narcissa had left him alone in his room that Severus was able to clear his head of the fuzzy feeling that had taken up residence there, as if he'd consumed several pints of very strong mead. When he had recovered himself sufficiently, he wandered around--his room--touching each surface, letting his senses take in every texture: soft, rough, smooth, cool, hard. He opened the wardrobe that was, as Narcissa had promised, filled with garments of the type that Severus had only come close to when in the presence of Lucius Malfoy. The finest wools, silks, and linens felt exotic to his touch. They had picked colours that suited him, various dark shades of maroon, blue, green and, of course, black. Shoes and boots lined the floor of the wardrobe, each made of the most exquisite leather. He knew without a doubt that everything would fit him perfectly. The adjoining bath was equally beautiful and elegant. As Severus took it all in, he was unexpectedly blindsided by a wave of uncertainty, doubt, and fear. He found himself needing to sit before his legs gave way. Lowering himself onto the nearest settee and clutching the cushions, he closed his eyes tightly.

Think, you idiot. This is Lucius Bloody Malfoy. He's brought you here for a reason. He's charming, yes. Charming like a coiled tiger, ready to attack and rip you to shreds. And you're in his cage. Keep your wits about you. No sudden moves. And Narcissa is a Black. Best to remember what you know about Blacks.

Severus took a deep breath and opened his eyes, taking in the opulence and elegance of his surroundings once more. Seeing himself reflected in a full-length, standing mirror, Severus suddenly caught a mental glimpse of himself as actually belonging to this world. Being treated with respect. Needed for his skills. Having access to resources that would enable him to truly explore, study--and create--the old, Dark magic that he had always craved to learn. Visions of shelves filled with ancient and forbidden books, a well-stocked potions laboratory and opportunities for creative experimentation danced happily through his mind.

Suddenly, the voice of Albus Dumbledore interrupted his reverie.

"Be careful, dear boy. There are those who will offer you choices that may seem tempting. Consider them carefully, for they may not be what they seem. And those who offer them will definitely not be your friends."

Blast the headmaster, Severus thought bitterly, tossing his words aside. I don't need 'friends.' I can manage this. I deserve this. It's time something turned in my favour for once. I can handle Lucius.

I just need to be careful.

~*~

Later that afternoon, the house-elf, Mab, clearly following Narcissa's instructions and ignoring Severus' objections, made certain he was washed, brushed and clothed to perfection. Standing in front of the full-length mirror while Mab picked off any remnants of dust or threads, Severus stared in shock at his reflection. He hardly recognised himself. Wearing perfectly tailored black trousers and linen shirt, black leather boots and a sumptuous silk-lined robe, Severus looked much older than his nearly seventeen years. His black hair, courtesy of the shampoo Mab insisted on using instead of his usual bar of soap, glistened. The elf had used some of his unique magic to trim his hair as well, so that it didn't automatically fall into and cover his face with every step. Severus touched his hair tentatively, as if he were uncertain that it really was his own. He liked how it felt. He liked how he looked. Severus smiled. He looked--powerful.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lily
This had been the worst month of Lily Evans' life, and she had spent most of it berating herself and feeling terrible. Tonight was no exception.

After an excruciatingly long Christmas dinner in the Great Hall, Lily had banished herself to the dormitory and was currently lying face-down on her canopied bed, the draperies closed and a pillow over her head, trying to make the images of what had happened at the Three Broomsticks disappear. She couldn't shake them. When she could sleep, which wasn't often, she'd have dreams of people screaming and writhing. But she wasn't sleeping. She was exhausted and unable to find any relief. Her friends had tried to help, explaining that, in the end, no one had been really hurt. And that James Potter didn't have anything to do with it; it just was a silly prank concocted by Sirius and Peter to ruin their date.

But all those people in pain--for a joke? It was so horrible! And he had laughed! To be so completely humiliated and fooled by someone she thought she actually liked! Lily had always prided herself as an excellent judge of character. And she was the Empathic! Lily snorted. Right. As if that had been any help! And Sirius Black! She sat up and threw the pillow at the wall. What sort of person even THINKS of doing something like that? she asked herself as she moved from despondency to anger to fury.

James had laughed! Lily clenched her fists. James was ALWAYS in the middle of whatever prank Sirius was involved in. Why would this have been any different? Lily flung herself back onto the bed.

And even worse. "Lily Evans, Prefect and Coward"-- why didn't I report it? WHY? I'm as bad as they are!

Why didn't she report it? She couldn't fathom an answer to this question. She'd been asked, of course, when she was in Professor Dumbledore's office afterwards. She'd never seen him with a look like that. Hard. Old. Every twinkle banished. McGonagall was there too, looking so--disappointed. He asked. She asked. She said she didn't know. Well, it was partly true, at the time. She didn't have real proof. She didn't want anyone in trouble unless she was certain. But even after, when Peter confessed to her in private, contrite, she still didn't tell. WHY? Lily pushed her fists into her eyes. She felt she was somehow culpable in the whole mess. It was so confusing, and she felt she was going out of her mind.

"LILY! Where are you?" Annette interrupted Lily's mental flagellation as she tore the curtains back from the bed, wheezing, out of breath from running.

"Get UP! Come quickly!" Annette gasped.

Lily snapped out of her wallow in an instant and sprang off her bed. "What's wrong? Come where?"

Annette was still trying to catch her breath, holding on to the bedposts. "It's - it's Alice... Astronomy Tower... Something is terribly wrong! Hurry!"

Lily grabbed her cloak and her wand and without another question tore out of the room, Annette on her heels.

~*~

Flinging open the door that opened to the Astronomy Tower, Lily saw Alice lying at the far end, leaning against a chimney stack, holding her side and moaning. Lily was by her side instantly.

"Alice! What happened? Are you hurt? We need to get you down to the hospital wing!"

Alice grabbed a hold of Lily's cloak and roughly pulled her down to her side. "No, Lily! Just stay here with me. I'll be all right!"

Lily flung aside Alice's cloak to look for signs of injury. She grew increasingly concerned when she could find no external signs of what was causing her friend's distress. Was this a spell? A Potion gone wrong? And what in blazes had Alice been doing up here in the first place? Lily put her arm around Alice's shoulders.

"Come on, hold onto my neck, and I'll help you down. Annette can help." She turned to Annette, who was standing by the Tower door. "Come over and give me a hand!"

Annette looked at the door, and then back to her friends. She started to take a step towards them when the door burst open and James Potter rushed in, followed by Remus Lupin. James made a beeline for Lily.

He knelt by her side and took her arm. "Lily! Are you all right? What happened?"

She was unable to respond because, in the very next second, the Tower door opened for the third time. They both looked up to see Sirius Black rushing towards them.

"James!" He stopped abruptly, seeing that James was clearly unharmed. James looked at Lily and Sirius. Lily looked at the two boys, her friend by her side and, standing near the entrance door, Annette, Remus and Peter. She was trying to make sense of it all when the three near the door raised their wands and incanted at the same time, "Accio wands!" Lily's, James' and Sirius' wands flew out of their robes and into the waiting hands of the others. Remus turned to the Tower door and pointed his wand. "Colloportus!" A squelching noise confirmed the door had been sealed.

Alice looked at Lily, abashed and very nervous. "I'm sorry, Lily," she whispered, scrambling to her feet and joining the others at the barred and sealed doorway.

Lily dropped to a sitting position. James and Sirius, standing next to her, stared at their friends, blinking. Confused. For a moment, the cold, night air seemed to stop moving, and a terrible silence filled the Astronomy Tower.

Lily, James and Sirius erupted at the same time and advanced on their friends, whose wands were out and pointed, ready to hold the line.

"What do you think you're doing? What the devil is this about?"

"Do you have any idea how cold it is up here?"

"Unseal that bloody door, or your face won't recognise itself, and I don't need a wand to do it!"

"Give me back my wand!"

"Who came up with this all-time stupid idea, anyway?"

"Move out of the way!"

Shaking a bit from both the cold and their nerves, Remus, Peter, Alice and Annette held their positions and did not respond to the continuous barrage of invectives, threats and curses. Sirius even tried throwing himself at Remus, who, unflinching, cast a mild Stunning Spell that sent Sirius flying off his feet and onto his rear end. Finally, realising that they could keep yelling until sometime into the new year without a response, Lily, James and Sirius quieted and descended into a tension-filled silence. All that remained of their rant were three pair of eyes that glared menacingly at their captors, as if looks alone might cut them up into very fine potion ingredients.

Remus cleared his throat. He focused primarily on Sirius, the most volatile of the three, but spoke to them all.

"I'm very sorry to have inconvenienced you. Especially on Christmas. But we decided that you've all gone on long enough moping, whinging, not speaking to each other and, in general, making life miserable for ALL of us. You're tired. We're tired. Now, listen up. Stupid things happened." Remus shot a look at Peter, clearly including him in this mess. "No one denies that. But it's done with. There are enough bad feelings and regrets for everyone. It's time for the three of you to finally say whatever it is you need to say to each other, apologise, forgive and MOVE ON!"

James, Sirius and Lily stared, open-mouthed, resembling a school of goldfish. Then, stealing a glance at each other and realising they were a bit too near to one another, they split apart so fast it was as if they'd all been hit by lightning.

Remus narrowed his eyes, more determined. "Fine. Understand, though, that we're not letting you off this Tower until this is resolved. And, because we're your friends and we care about you, we're all prepared to stay up here with you, until NEXT Christmas if necessary! Just remember--we hold the wands. Therefore, we're the only ones who can cast Warming Charms. So get on with it." And with that, Remus plopped himself down onto the Tower roof. Peter, Alice and Annette, who looked a bit less determined than Remus, but clearly prepared to do their part, sat down as well, huddling together for warmth.

James scowled and leaned against a parapet. Sirius continued to glare at Remus. Lily turned her back on them all and folded her arms.

"Happy bloody Christmas to you, too," she muttered through her clenched teeth, which had already started to chatter in the cold.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Peter
If asked, he'd be hard-pressed to tell which was colder: the freezing night air or the iciness emanating from Sirius, Lily and James. He sat budged together with Remus and the girls, sharing a small, conjured fire, and thought it was entirely possible that he might die of exposure if they didn't start talking to each other soon.

Sirius sat on his hands, scowling and muttering to himself, occasionally shooting murderous looks at Remus. Lily, who had turned away from them, may have, in fact, frozen; she was so still that not even a hair moved on her head. James' head was dropped to his upraised knees, and his arms were draped over his head.

To make things worse--or better--depending on which side of the roof you were sitting, Remus pulled a pencil out of a robe pocket and transfigured it into a cup of hot chocolate, which he shared with his fellow roof guardians. As the cup was passed to him, Peter thought he heard Sirius mutter, "Bloody show-off prick."

Remus had instructed Peter, Alice and Annette not to talk while they were on the roof. "Let them do all the talking," he had said. "We're there just to make sure they don't hurt each other and force them to have it out." But Peter was cold, restless and wanted to go to bed. Slowly, however, an idea wormed its way into his head.

He smiled to himself and, handing the cup of hot chocolate to Annette, stood up, stretched his cramped legs and walked over to the three huddled forms on the roof.

"Peter--" Remus started, alarmed.

Peter ignored Remus' reproach and loudly cleared his throat. The three captives looked up at him, startled at the noise and his sudden nearness.

Peter gulped once, took a deep breath and put on his most sorrowful look. "Um, I - er - I just want to apologise to all three of you."

Six pairs of eyes blinked, and six pairs of eyebrows knit together on their respective foreheads.

Licking his lips, which had gone completely dry in the hour they'd already been sitting on the Tower, Peter continued. "I'm sorry for being involved in a prank that, I realise now, was a really stupid idea. I--We--" he glanced at Sirius, "we were, I think, a bit jealous of you, Lily."

Lily's mouth dropped open in astonishment. "Jealous of me?" she stammered.

"Er, yes. We thought maybe James wouldn't want us as mates any more if you were in the picture." He turned to James. "I know now that that's completely ridiculous and it would never happen, of course, but for a moment we felt it might be--true. So, we had this idea that might make you think that being with James would be a really bad idea."

"It was my idea, Wormtail," Sirius said in a small, quiet voice. "Not yours."

"Well, yes, it was your idea," Peter paused for a moment, then added, "but I did go along with it, Padfoot."

Sirius didn't respond, but dropped his head onto his chest and sighed deeply.

"Bloody well worked, didn't it?" James grumbled bitterly.

Peter turned to Lily. "But it wasn't James' fault. He knew nothing about it, really. He was as much a victim as anyone else in the pub that day. He - he really cares about you, Lily."

Lily stared at him with an indecipherable expression, but she didn't respond.

Peter walked over to James and put his hand on the other boy's shoulder. "James, I was an idiot. I really do like Lily, and I think you are really good together." James looked up at him, grunted and shook his head forlornly.

"Prongs, I'm your friend! I know that you and I will always be friends--nothing and no one could ever come between us!" Peter said reassuringly. "So whatever I can do to help you and Lily to patch things up, you can count on me!"

A small glimmer of a sad smile etched itself onto the corner of James' mouth. "I - I know you will, Peter."

"But he laughed." Lily said this so quietly that they barely heard it.

Despite the coldness of the night, Peter saw James' face flush with heat and his eyes go wide. He looked stricken, as if she'd hit him with a hex.

"All those people were in pain, and he laughed," Lily said, her voice rising and her anger clearly growing.

James leapt to his feet. "Lily, I didn't mean--"

Lily rose as well, still maintaining her distance from him. "What is it that you didn't mean, James?" she snarled. "You didn't mean to find it funny? You didn't mean to appreciate the cleverness of your best friends' devious plan? You didn't mean to WHAT?" She was livid now, her incriminations escalating in equal proportion to her face growing red.

All eyes turned to James, waiting for his response. No one seemed to be breathing.

James ran his nearly-blue fingers through his hair, as if searching for the right words. "I didn't mean to laugh at them. I just..." James' dropped his head, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "You're right, Lily. It was wrong. It was terrible. It was unthinking and unfeeling." He raised his eyes to her, hope drained from them. "I'm sorry, Lily. Truly sorry."

"What the hell do you have to be sorry for, mate?" Sirius was on his feet and shaking with anger. Peter, who was standing closest to him and recognising the signs of Padfoot ready to bite, stepped out of his way. Lily and James turned to him, surprised, as if they'd forgotten he was there.

Sirius moved straight towards Lily, his teeth bared. "You are a bloody hypocrite, Evans! Who do you think you are? The Queen? The judge? The whole, sodding Wizengamot?"

James leapt in front of Sirius to stop him. "Sirius! No!" Sirius pushed him out of the way and stood face to face with Lily, who was shaking but did not back down from his attack.

"Don't you dare make this about me, Sirius Black!"

"And why the hell not? This is about you! If the high and mighty Miss Evans hadn't decided to finally lower herself to go out with James after treating him like bat dung for years, this wouldn't have happened at all!"

James grabbed Sirius roughly by the arm and jerked him about. "Don't talk to Lily like that!"

"Mate, they brought us up here to 'have it out,' right? Well, that's what I'm doing. And it's long overdue. Evans and I need to have a little chat, don't we?" Sirius shrugged James off and turned back to Lily.

She met his glare. "I believe we do, Sirius," Lily replied evenly.

Peter backed away from them slowly and took his seat on the roof next to Annette. He smiled when she squeezed his hand and offered him the cup of hot chocolate.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Severus
Severus had seen the Great Hall at Hogwarts festively decorated on many occasions, but nothing compared to the elegance, wonder and perfection of Malfoy Manor's ballroom for this Christmas Eve celebration of Lucius Malfoy's engagement to Narcissa Black. Entering the room, he was struck first by the light. Small, burning orbs like miniature suns, floating near the high ceiling, cast a warm glow on the gathering below. Thousands of fairies cast a cool light from the outside through the tall casement windows that lined the long walls. Both warm and cool light mingled, illuminating the guests in such a way as to make everyone who was in attendance beautiful or handsome, reflecting off the sumptuous fabrics of their dress robes and jewels. It was a light of romance and seduction.

Severus walked through the ballroom, intoxicated by the hedonistic assault on his senses. Garlands of holly were strung throughout the room. Tables were laden with platters of food and drink. The high notes of crystal and laughter joined in the tempo of the soft music played by musicians up on the balcony. Stepping back against a wall, Severus looked over the guests and noticed, with some surprise, several of his classmates among them. Regulus Black was standing besides his cousin--'Auntie'--Bella, who was entertaining a pair of dark-haired men, both laughing, and obviously in her thrall. Evan Rosier was standing besides a man Severus assumed was his father; they shared the same golden, curly hair and pale complexion. Colin Wilkes and Sebastian Avery, both seventh-year Slytherins, were flirting with a small group of older, but extremely attractive, women, who seemed amenable to the attentions of the younger boys.

Of course they'd be invited. The pureblood wizarding world is not vast. They're probably all related, Severus thought wryly.

"Snape! Is it true?"

Severus' musings were interrupted as he turned to see Niles Cranford, Terence Yaxley and Bertram Crabbe walking towards him, each with a goblet in hand. Yaxley and Crabbe, he noted, seemed uneasy in this environment, unlike Cranford, who moved with grace that conveyed his familiarity with this world of privilege.

"Are you in residence here for the hols?" Cranford prodded.

"Happy Christmas to you, too, Cranford," was Severus' reply. He usually found it best not to offer up more information than necessary where Cranford was concerned.

"Are you really staying here, Snape?" asked Crabbe, whose eyes were wide with the same wonder that Severus felt, but was better at disguising. He decided that there might be some advantage to be gained here, after all.

"Yes. I was invited by Mr. Malfoy to stay here during break. He's been a very gracious host."

The effect on Crabbe and Yaxley was predictable. Their looks of envy confirmed to Severus that he had risen in their estimation by several notches. Cranford, on the other hand, was not so easily impressed.

"How--charitable--of Malfoy to take in an orphan for the holidays," he drawled with a wan smile. "It's heart-warming, really."

Severus felt the heat rise to his face, but Narcissa Black, who had suddenly materialised with her cousin Reggie on her arm, rescued him.

"Good evening, boys!" she said with a shimmering smile that seemed to melt their composure, even Cranford's. "I hope you're all having a good time?"

"Yes, thank you, Miss Black," Cranford replied, recovering first. "Many congratulations to both you and Mr. Malfoy." He offered a polite, small bow and his own most winning smile.

"Thank you--Niles, isn't it?" Narcissa didn't wait for his reply but turned to Severus. "Severus, dear, you know our Reggie, don't you? I've rescued him from my sister Bella and thought he'd be much better off in some younger company." She gave Reggie a small kiss on his cheek. "Reggie, I'll be back to fetch you and your Housemates in just a little while." She patted Severus on the hand and swept away into the crowd.

Reggie turned to a nearby table and grabbed a glass of wine to cover his embarrassment.

Cranford turned to Severus with an amused smile.

"Ah, now I understand! You're here to play baby-minder for ickle Reggie! I can see how you'd be very useful there!"

Reggie turned to Cranford abruptly, spilling some wine in the process. "I don't need minding, you arrogant sod!"

Severus refused to take the bait. "Don't mind Cranford, Reggie. He's just having at me because I've been invited as a guest over the holidays, and he hasn't."

Reggie, forgetting his anger at Cranford, looked up at Severus in surprise. "You are? Really? How--er--Why?"

"I'm not sure, really." Severus shrugged and looked pointedly at Cranford. "I think Mr. Malfoy thinks I may be--useful."

Cranford's eyes grew wide. Scored your envy with that, did I? Severus thought. In his brief time under Malfoy's patronage, his acceptance into this world, a world he could never before have imagined, guaranteed him an upward shift in status among his peers. He could tell they felt it as well, and he intended to use it fully to his own advantage.

"What did Miss Black mean about 'fetching' us, Reg?" Crabbe asked, inadvertently changing the subject.

"Well, I can't really talk about it," Reggie said in an offhand manner, implying that he was considered important enough to hold this information, while they were not. "But I can tell you that it is something very important to our futures." Reggie dropped his voice, the eagerness clear in his eyes. "It should be very exciting; my father said it's an honour to be invited!"

"Gentlemen." A honeyed voice spoke, and they all turned to see Bellatrix and Narcissa Black standing behind them. The boys all bowed in greeting.

"Your presence is required in the drawing room," Bellatrix said, her head held high as she looked at them each in turn, her eyes glistening with the same excitement they had just seen in Reggie's.

"Please, gentlemen, will you follow us?" Narcissa asked.

The boys all nodded in assent; Narcissa took Severus by the arm, and her sister followed with Reggie. Cranford, Yaxley and Crabbe trailed behind. As they made their way through the crowd, they picked up Avery, Wilkes and Rosier. The line of young Slytherins wound slowly out of the ballroom, oblivious to the knowing smiles and nods of their elders that followed them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lily
Lily stared down Sirius, waiting for his explanation, but James pulled Sirius back more roughly this time. No one on the roof had ever seen James this angry.

"No, mate. I have something to say first." The heat coming from James was palpable. Sirius appeared stunned by the intensity of James' reaction, and he backed away from the attack he felt coming.

Lily, who felt her own anger at Sirius hijacked by James' interruption, watched them both carefully as they rounded on each other. It seemed to Lily that James appeared to grow larger as Sirius shrank before him.

"I love you, Sirius!" James shouted through his anger, and it struck Lily's heart as he said this. "I've always trusted you. But this time," James' voice broke slightly, "this time you hurt me, Padfoot. You know how I feel about Lily. And whatever I have... or might have had... with her... has nothing to do with us." Sirius dropped his head, unable to look at James. "But, thanks to you, I've probably lost any chance, ever, and it's hurt you and I worst of all. I - I don't know if I can forgive you, Sirius."

Lily looked between the two boys and was suddenly overwhelmed by the strength of what she felt emanating from the two of them. Their love and devotion. Their dependence. Their need. Their pain.

Sirius looked up at James. His eyes were full of despair, but his voice was challenging, as if compelled beyond reason to push James further. "Well, even for one of our pranks, it was rather well executed, don't you think? Wormtail and I did put a lot of effort into it. That should count for something."

Lily drew in a sharp breath, shocked. He must be insane!

Suddenly, James rushed at Sirius and attacked him with a fury. The girls gasped. Peter gaped, and Remus stood. There was a flurry of robes and fists. There was a loud thwack! before Remus shot another Stunning Spell that forced the two apart. They sat, breathing heavily, and Sirius held a hand over his eye, which was now red and puffy.

"Good shot, Prongs," Sirius said with a wince. He smiled wanly. "I deserved that. I deserve worse. I don't deserve your forgiveness. Despite what happened, you know I'd rather die than intentionally hurt you." Sirius averted his gaze from James. "I'll... I'll find a flat somewhere once school is out."

The fight seemed to have knocked the anger out of James, who looked stricken at Sirius' words. "What do you mean?"

"You don't need me around to mess up again, James. I understand. I have some of my own money. I can find someplace to live. Besides, it might be good to be on my own!" Sirius forced a smile.

Lily couldn't bear this for another moment. "James, I think you should," she said, her words escaping her mouth before realising that she had given voice to her inner thoughts.

James turned to her blinking, as if he'd forgotten she was there. "What?"

"I think you should forgive Sirius."

James stared at Lily, uncomprehending.

"I mean," she said, feeling awkward and unsure exactly what it was she did mean, "it was stupid and terrible, but... but the two of you need each other."

James was now both bereft and confused. But her words seemed to jolt Sirius back to himself.

"I think you should stay out of it, Evans!" he growled.

"Sirius--I--do forgive you," James said earnestly. "Lily is right. You don't need to move out. Mum and Dad would hate it if you did. I - I would hate it if you did."

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "Yes, well, if Evans says so, then it must be right. Why should this time be any different?"

But Lily wasn't going to let that remark go by. "Because I seem to be able to see things you can't, like the fact that your best friend adores you and always will."

Sirius was up on his feet and in front of Lily in a flash. "Right. And, as I recall, you and I were just about to 'have it out' before we were interrupted, weren't we?"

While the intensity of her anger had mostly dissipated, his previous accusation still stung. "Yes, we were, Sirius. You were about to explain to me why I'm such a hypocrite." She met his glare with one of her own.

Sirius gave her one of his most charming smiles, the one that usually drove the girls wild, Lily noted. She did not smile in return. "I'm happy to oblige, Ms. Perfect Prefect!" he said in a fake, light-hearted voice.

"You have the gall to judge James for 'laughing' at those poor souls at the Three Broomsticks," he began, "and yet, I have observed you frequently laughing and thoroughly enjoying many of our pranks over the years. If I'm correct in my understanding of the word, Lovely Lily, that makes you a hypocrite!"

Lily's felt her heart pounding very loudly in her ears as she continued to meet Sirius' eyes. "But none of your pranks have involved causing people physical pain before, Mr. Black! This was different!"

Sirius crossed his arms. "Oh, you think so?"

She found herself growing flustered, not a feeling she was used to. "Yes, of course I do!" she spluttered.

"So, are you saying that physical pain is worse than, say, embarrassment? Or humiliation?"

Lily squirmed. "Well, yes! No! One isn't worse than the other...."

"So, last year when we flipped Snivellus upside down and we all admired his pants, that wasn't you who fought to suppress, dare I say... a laugh? Was it?"

The memory of it flashed back to her in an instant, and she felt her face turn instantly hot.

"And yet," Sirius continued, gathering steam, "when our James here had a perfectly normal reaction to a very silly scene, he dared to laugh! What a terrible person he must be! Probably should be tossed into Azkaban for it, right, Lil?"

Lily's humiliation at having been called out so baldly prevented her from reacting to this unauthorised use of her nickname. He was right, of course. All of it. Suddenly, she knew how it felt being pushed off of one's 'high horse.' It hurt. A lot. But she'd blast herself to hell before letting Sirius Black have the last word.

"Fine," she said as evenly as she could. "So we're all of us insensitive idiots!" James looked admiringly at his best friend and gobsmacked at Lily. Sirius, too, seemed surprised she'd step up this easily. "You probably most of all, of course," she added pointedly to Sirius. He nodded as if this were, of course, obvious.

Lily walked past Sirius and knelt down next to James. As he gazed at her, the lost look in his eyes hit her powerfully, nearly knocking her over. She took a deep breath and forced the impact of his feelings away from her heart, as Dumbledore had taught her. Taking another breath, she took his hand. "James, I... Sirius is right. I misjudged you and blamed you wrongly for something you weren't responsible for. It wasn't your fault and... I'm sorry."

For a moment, all was silent on the Tower, and Lily felt and heard her heart beat in time with James' pulse.

"Thanks, Lily. It's - it's all right," he said at last, quietly, as if for her ears only. Lily felt the hope in James rise in tempo with the blood in his veins. It coursed through his body and shot sparks through his hand and into her own. She laid his hand down gently. She wasn't ready to go back to the place that they'd been moving towards--not just yet. She smiled, then stood and turned back to Sirius and put her hands on her hips. Alice laughed, recognising this as Lily's famous 'I mean business' stance.

"Mr. Black, if you really feel the need to compete with me, may I suggest a more... interesting challenge?" Sirius looked at her, his curiosity piqued. She took a step towards him. "I propose a duel."

His smile gave way to an open-mouth gape, but Lily didn't wait for him to respond. She walked up to Remus.

"Remus, I'd like our wands back, please," she said, holding out her hand.

Remus was aghast--as was everyone else. "You can't be serious, Lily!"

"I'm perfectly serious, Remus." She looked at the astonished faces around her and sighed. "Not THAT kind of a duel, silly!" She huffed and walked to the side of the Tower, pulling open a large storage box that was used for Astronomy lessons. "Mr. Black fancies himself a dab hand at Transfiguration, right?"

Sirius, still uncertain as to what she was going on about, responded defiantly, nonetheless. "I'm the best in our year!"

"So you think!" Lily replied, a glint in her eye. "Well, let's see, shall we? Sirius Black--I challenge you to a Transfiguration Duel. Each of the objects in this box in turn, twice each. Remus and Alice can judge," she said with a wink, "the winner."

Sirius was gleeful. He spun around with a whoop! and jumped like a dog being offered his favourite bone.

"Challenge accepted, Evans!" He turned to Remus with a flourish. "Moony! Our wands!"

~*~

Evenly spread across the Tower were the various objects that Lily and Sirius had levitated out of the Astronomy storage box: a telescope; a mobile of the solar system they'd charmed to float mid-air; a large, illustrated Star Chart; a box of spare quills; and a large compass.

"Ladies first," offered Sirius with a gallant bow.

Lily nodded and pointed her wand at the telescope, which she promptly transfigured into a miniature version of the Whomping Willow. One of its branches even took a swipe at Pluto, which was orbiting next to it. She greeted the whistles and cheers of her friends with a demure curtsy and smiled sweetly at Sirius, whose grin had evaporated.

"Ah, so we're going for the grand gesture, eh, Evans? Fine!" Sirius studied the telescope-turned-willow tree for a moment and, with a flourish of his wand, transfigured it into a statue of a troll wearing a wreath of willow leaves on its head. Cheers followed, and Sirius threw his fist into the air.

Within the hour, each of the objects had been transfigured twice, as Lily had instructed. These included a dining table adorned with plates of food; an ivy-covered gate that sang when it opened; a gargoyle in a party hat that recited pudding recipes in a voice that sounded suspiciously like the Headmaster; a lamppost that shot fireworks; a picnic basket filled with spiders in party dresses; a suit of armour that danced a jig; a large step ladder with moving steps; and a full length mirror that hurled insults at them in the voice of Sirius' mother.

As the cheers died down, Alice and Remus conferred to decide the winner. After a brief, hushed discussion, Alice stood to face the contestants.

"Although you were both brilliant, we felt that Sirius charming his mother's voice into that mirror gave him a slight edge. The winner, ladies and gentlemen, by just a hair, is--Sirius Black!" Sirius took a victory lap around the Tower to appreciative applause and stopped to receive a gracious, congratulatory handshake from Lily.

"Wow, Lily! You must've been practicing in secret!" Annette remarked, truly impressed.

Lily lowered her head. "Well, um, I have been taking extra lessons with Professor McGonagall."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You've been planning this for ages, haven't you?" He grinned. "How devious of you, Miss Evans!" he said, with a distinct tone of admiration, which made Lily look up and smile, feeling warmed by his rare compliment.

"Oh, I didn't think either of you were that impressive," James said with exaggerated nonchalance.

"Not impressive, eh?" Lily turned to Sirius and whispered conspiratorially in Sirius' ear. He broke into another famous Black grin and nodded. Together, they trained their wands on their friends.

"Don't you dare!" squealed Annette in a vain protest. A few short flicks, swishes and incantations later, everyone found themselves adorned with garlands of holly, elaborately flowered hats on their heads and fuzzy bunny slippers on their hands. Peter found he'd received an extra surprise when the sweets in his pocket turned into snapping turtles.

In the early hours of Christmas morning, sounds of laughter rang out from the Astronomy Tower, and it was Lily who laughed loudest of all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Severus
The line of young boys silently, expectantly, winds its way across the main entrance hall, down a corridor until they reach Malfoy's drawing room.

Thrill and terror fill Severus in a heart-pounding combination as he steps inside.

The room is awash in firelight. Small torches are alight in sconces. A fire is blazing in the enormous hearth set in the longest wall. Two older men sit in large wingback chairs in front of the fire. Lucius Malfoy and a group of men--and one woman--flank them. The younger boys are directed to sit in a semi-circle facing their elders in straight-backed, armless chairs. A long, low table sits between the older and younger generations, set with a line of several gleaming, silver goblets that seem to dance in the reflected firelight. No words are spoken as Severus and the others take their seats. The room is thick with anticipation. Severus feels dizzy and then realises he's been holding his breath. He reminds himself to breathe. He glances sideways at his classmates and sees their faces echo with similar uncertainty. He looks at Malfoy for a glimpse of some clue, some bit of information. Lucius stares straight ahead, sitting tall, offering nothing.

Once settled, the older man in the middle facing them stirs, giving them each a piercing glare. Severus recalls that Malfoy introduced him to Malcolm Avery earlier that evening, his classmate's father. The senior Avery appears to Severus to be in his mid-fifties. He is stocky with stubbly, grey-brown hair that is in the process of receding towards the back of his head. His voice, as he speaks, is deep and resonant.

"Tonight," he begins, "our stories pass to you." They all lean forward, expectantly. "This is the time of the Telling. To learn who you are. To know how it was. To always remember. It is your future to realise. It is ours to give." The man's wand appears, and in an instant, each of the goblets that a moment ago had been on the low table now appear in the hands of the elders, who stand and take a step forward.

Malfoy gives the slightest of nods, directing Severus towards him. He watches his classmates do the same. Reggie steps up to his cousin Bellatrix, Cranford to his father, and the others to their elder partners alike. Severus crosses to Malfoy. Again, no words are exchanged as the elders drink from the goblets. Malfoy hands his to Severus with another nod, and Severus drinks as well. He feels a moment of panic, for he knows that the goblet is not filled with ordinary wine. It is thicker, with a base of some bitter substance that he can't quite place. But he is reassured, if only slightly, that Malfoy and the others are sharing the same potion, for surely that is what it is.

Taking his seat, Severus waits to feel the effects of the potion. He realises he's curious, interested in what it will do. Nothing seems to happen and Severus is slightly disappointed. Then Avery begins to speak.

"My family lived in London before the Black Death. We were merchants who had accumulated some land and built, for its time, a respectable home. It was a time when wizards and non-magical folk, as they were called then, lived together, worked together."

Suddenly, Severus feels himself thrust into a busy, market street in what he instinctively knows is the London of Avery's Telling. The smells are overpowering, the noises are bright, and colours are vivid. At the same time, he sees the Malfoy drawing room as it is in this moment. Avery is speaking. They are listening. This, he realises, is the effect of the potion. He is fascinated and intrigued and cannot help but allow his senses to be drawn completely into the Telling.

"We thrived and our family grew. We wed into other wizarding families. Some took non-magical brides as well. And all was well until the Death began. The Death was a terrible scourge, and we knew it to be caused by the non-magical folk whom we had welcomed into our families. They had become jealous of our abilities and grew to want our power for themselves. They were testing a potion on some rats when it all went terribly wrong. The rats began to spread the sickness to other rats, and soon, Death came to nearly everyone in London. But wizards and witches had ways to protect themselves, and they were not afflicted. So it was, of course, the wizards and witches who were blamed. Neighbours turned on us. Our children were taken."

Severus is in a small house when a door bursts open and a pair of men step over the threshold. Severus looks down to see, by his side, a young girl of about six with a boy--he knows it to be her younger brother--huddled together by the hearth. Severus hears screams: their parents, who are being restrained outside by some others. The taller man, his eyes gone mad, espies the children and reaches out to them with shaking hands.

"You are children of Demons!" the man yells out. Severus panics and tries to intervene, but of course, he cannot. The children scream. The man brandishes a knife and, without a pause, stabs the young girl in the heart. Blood spurts everywhere. The boy screams and cries. The shorter man grabs the boy. Severus feels sweat pour down his brow as he sees--no, feels--the little boy's fear and panic. "Mama!" the boy cries as the man lifts him bodily by the throat. Severus feels his own throat constrict.

The man's smile is terrible. "There will be no more Demons," he rasps before bringing the knife down into the small body of the boy again and again and again. Finally spent, the man drops the dead boy next to his sister, their bloody bodies mangled and entwined in a gruesome embrace. The screams outside escalate and the men leave the house. Severus follows.

The parents have been bound in ropes and are being pulled along the street behind a horse-drawn cart. The woman falls and she is not picked up. Her body is dragged along the cobblestones, and passers-by laugh at and kick her. The man--her husband--is helpless, and his eyes are wild with panic. They ascend the Tower Bridge. The mob, which has grown large along this terrible journey, lifts the woman and tie stones around her waist. They do the same to the man. As they do this, they spit at them and curse them and attack them with fists, stones, and clubs.

"Thou art Devils! Magical Demons! Bringers of Death!"

With a cry from the crowd, the two are lifted into the air, and for a brief moment, Severus sees a look of love pass between the battered couple. He sees her look into his own eyes. Then they are tossed, like refuse, into the water of the Thames. Severus feels the water envelop him, and his lungs nearly burst.

"We will always remember," voices intone.

Avery has finished his Telling, and Severus blinks, drawn back into the drawing room. His heart is pounding, his breathing ragged, and his body is shaking. He can tell, even without looking, that the others are the same. There is only a moment's pause before a man named Rookwood takes up the Telling. Once more, Severus is flung into another story of betrayal, murder, persecution. And with each Telling, he lives them all. Their panic, their fear, their horror become his. The tears cannot be stopped. His own body is wracked with the pain felt by the ancestors of the Tellers. They will go into hiding to protect themselves. They will separate from the world of the Muggles. But, they will always remember the perfidy of the non-magical folk--the Muggles--against their people. The injustices that must be avenged.

Severus cannot tell how much time has passed, but he registers that there is silence in the room. And in that silence, he reflects on things he has pushed aside for a long, long time. His father. His mother. His childhood. The door that has held them shut for so long slowly creeps open, and memories pour into his mind, feelings into his heart; they cannot be held back. The words pour out. His own Telling. Severus hears his voice speak the words, but his mind has taken him back to that house, those rooms. That pain. He is small as he tells of his father's rage against the injustice at the hands of those who hurt him, who caused his family to fall into ruin. He tells of his father--a Muggle--and his father's hatred of his mother and all things magical. He tells of the beatings--his mother's, his own. His pain pours forth, and his furious anger at this Muggle--this Monster--who, he believes, caused his mother's death. He shares his resentment that a life of joy in being magical, his life, was stolen from him, turned into a life filled with shame, hatred and fury. And loneliness.

Severus is finished. "We will always remember," they all intone.

The elders rise, another goblet in their hands. Malfoy walks up to Severus, who is too weak to stand. Malfoy gives him the cup and Severus drinks. Malfoy drinks as well. The liquid works quickly, and Severus feels his body revive; the physical effects of the Telling recede, but the emotional impact continues to resonate deeply.

The door to the drawing room is opened, and the boys file out. Severus looks at the others, who are clearly as affected as he is. They share a haunted, yet defiant look, but they do not talk to one another. Severus hears, in the distance, the bright noise of the party. The others hear it as well and, one by one, make their way back to the ballroom. Severus follows them into the entrance hall, but instead of continuing into the ballroom, he makes his way up the grand staircase and escapes into the quiet of his room. Entering, he lights the wall sconces and reaches for the comfort of a large armchair. He forces himself to breathe deeply, to quiet the adrenaline still pumping through his body. Slowly, Severus realises that something important has happened. Something that has touched him deeply. It comes to him that he's been given a gift, and he realises that he's had precious few gifts in his life. It's a gift of inclusion. Of acceptance. Of belonging. Unbidden, and without shame, tears begin to fall. He is crying for all that has been lost and for all that may be gained. For a future that might be his.

*************

A/N: The idea for the Transfiguration Duel was borrowed from the fabulous Fernwithy, described her fabulous tale, Shifts.