Ron Weasley's Fan Fiction

A/N: I watched HP today to get some more ideas, so hopefully this will be a *fun* chapter! I'm glad people are liking my story! But first a few personal notes...

*Adnap Nottap: its okay, don't feel bad about your review for this story :D Its good to get a negative one every once and a while to know that people aren't just being sugar-y. And ya, Hermione is a bit ooc! but she's funner this way! And who's to say that behind all those book smarts she isn't a little pervert? lol j/k!! And thanks for reviewing my Cindy's Story!! :D

*Milky White: since when does Jack read Harry Potter fan fics? And how exactly does a panda cow get on the internet and type? Anyway to answer your questions: I blocked that part out once, but only because the person I blocked it out for totally ripped my first chapter apart! (Not you Adnap, yours was constructive criticism) I was afraid of what that person would think of it. And how do I come up with my ideas? Well, that's for ME to know and for YOU to find out! And maybe I should ask you the same question!! Hmmm? ; ) I'll be waiting back stage ready to move a tree! (gulp) Thanks for your review, but I think its time for you to be milked!! Squeeeeeze Pal!!: P (to other readers.. ignore that, long story)

And one more thing.. keep in mind these kids are 16, not 14 so they're 6th years (so Hermione is actually 17 right?).. its not directly after the 4th book.

Warning:

This chapter gets a little, ahem, steamy and to some, totally disgusting, and its probably pushing PG-13 to its limits, so now that this warning is here, you shall have to read at your own risk, and don't come whining to me if you're offended or grossed out, coz I warned you well in advance!!

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"Well, I can tell that Little Ron has come to visit us," Hermione said teasingly. "What does Big Ron have to say about this, eh?"

"A... s-sexy surprise?" asked Ron, his face a deep crimson. "On the.. Quidditch field?"

"Oh yes, Ron. Now, let me untie this real quick.." she said, in a rather sensual voice, removing Ron's tie from his neck, as she kissed him. She then put it over his eyes, tied it tight, and made sure he couldn't see.

"Is this really necessary, Hermione?"

"Of course. It wouldn't be a surprise if you couldn't see.. now don't peak!"

Hermione took a hold of his hand and led him down to the Quidditch field. Ron was trying to think what the surprise could possibly be. He was on the Gryffindor Quidditch team for the first time this year, but he couldn't imagine what she could hide from all the professors and Dumbledore in the Quidditch field. And the locker rooms were locked up during the day. But nothing at all came to his mind. Well, nothing realistic that is. Ron couldn't help but think of a few surprises he'd like to happen, as long as it was 100% safe from someone to catch them... Ron smiled at this. Just as another rather sexy scene entered Ron's mind, he tripped on a rock and heard Hermione say, "Alohomora." They were going into the locker rooms after all.

"Now Ron, sit on this bench while I go get the surprise ready. And NO PEAKING!" she hollered as she left Ron there on the benches next to the sinks. Ron was envisioning yet another possibility, now that it was narrowed down to a location, as Hermione came back in front of him.

"Okay Mr. Weasley," she whispered. "You can take that silly tie off and open your eyes."

As if it were possible, what Ron saw was even better than what he was imagining (most likely because it was happening in person). Hermione Granger, top sixth year student, was standing in front of him wearing his Quidditch robe, shin and wrist guards. But as if this weren't good enough for Ron, she suddenly went over to the counter, where there was one of those muggle music boxes like the one his dad had, said a spell, and turned it on.

"Silly Professor McGonagall," she said, as a weird, yet mood-setting song (Let's Get It On for those muggle readers out there) came through the speakers. "She was the one who told me the spell to let these silly muggle electronics work temporarily here inside Hogwarts grounds."

Ron gulped, as Hermione then shimmied off his robe, revealing a sexy, black lacy bra and panites set. Once again, he felt his trousers become a little tighter. Man, he thought, I need to get in more control of this, and felt his face get hot, thinking it was probably completely red.

"Well Ron, I can see that you're liking this surprise. Have anything to say to back up your actions?" Ron could only think of one thing to say.

"Bloody Hell!"

Hermione laughed at this and said, "I'll take that as a compliment!" as she went over to him and straddled his lap, putting her feet on the floor behind Ron. The two kissed passionately, and as time went on, Ron pinched himself every once and a while to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

This time, as Hermione undressed Ron, he didn't have any objections. I'm not gonna get cold feet this time, he decided. Look at her! It would only be fair to get nearly naked myself. When she was finished, Ron was sitting in his boxers.

"Ouch!" he said suddenly. "Herm.. mi" he was trying to talk with Hermione still kissing him. "Herm-ion- OUCH!! Herm.. STOPFORAMINUTE!!"

"What is it, Ron?" she asked, looking a little hurt. "Am I doing something wrong?"

"Oh no, Hermione, you're great! Honestly. I mean I've had dreams about this, but bloody hell, you're amazing. Its just that my shin and wrist guards you're wearing, well, they keep scratching me. Do you think you could take them off?"

"OH!! Yes of course!! I'm SOO sorry!" She quickly took them off and went straight back to kissing him, all over his body. Ahhh, Ron thought. Much better!

Meanwhile, back up in Potions, Harry sat miserably next to Seamus, as Snape droned on about how to make a potion that makes people say the last place they were, and what they were doing there, occasionally taking down a few notes.

"Hey Harry," Seamus whispered, just as bored as Harry. "Where are Hermione and Ron? I saw them at lunch, but they're not here right now."

"Er..." Harry didn't know how to explain that they're most likely making out somewhere without giving it away. "I don't know Seamus. That's a good question." And Harry looked down at his parchment and took down some more notes.

"If you ask me, I'd say those two fancied each other," said Seamus. "And those two students in the prefects' bathroom the other night? Ron and Hermione, too. They both left and entered the common room with each other that night. And anyway, it wouldn't surprise me. Wouldn't doubt it if they've fancied each other since first year!"

"Maybe..." Harry mumbled.

Potions had finally got over, and Harry went to his next class, which was Charms. But when he got there, Ron and Hermione were no where to be seen. He decided that, although unsure if he really wanted to, he would go search for them. It wasn't like Hermione to skip class, much less two in a row.

"Professor Flitwick?" he said.

"Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"I've been feeling a little ill for the past half hour. I thought I'd see if I felt better by the end of my last class, but I don't. May I go up to the hospital wing to see Madame Pomfrey?" Harry was impressed by how believable that was.

"Yes, Mr. Potter, but hurry back. Today's lesson is very important if you want your homework assignment to be easy."

Harry started to ponder where the two might be. Most likely they had wanted privacy. And Harry had noticed his invisibility cloak was missing this morning, he guessed that Hermione took it for her little plan, so he decided that they probably went outside. He made his way to one of the only private places on the grounds at this time of the day. The Gryffindor Quidditch Locker-room.

Back in the locker room, Ron and Hermione were now both completely naked, and on the floor in front of the lockers. Ron was loving every moment of this! He finally got up the courage to ask the question he'd wanted to ask for 3 years now.

"Hermione- would you.. um I mean do you want to,.. er.. can we--"

"Have sex?" Hermione finished for him.

"Well, I was gonna say shag, but okay that works" Ron said.

"Mr. Ronald Weasley! I can't believe you even asked!!" Ron was confused. "That was the stupidest question I've heard all day. And considering we have Neville in our classes, that's bad." She got up, and as Ron watched her, looking as if he were about to cry, she walked back over to where her clothes were, picked up her skirt. But to Ron's surprise, she just pulled something out of her pocket.

When she came back over by Ron, he asked, "Hermione, what is that thing?". Hermione looked at him, then back down at the small, square package she was holding.

"Honestly, Ron, are you a 16 year old guy or not? Its a condom!"

"OH!! One of THOSE.. Sorry, I've never actually seen one..." He saw the worried look that was still on her face. "Don't worry, yes, I know what they're for." Hermione sighed in relief. Holy Cricket, thought Hermione, you'd think that having five older brothers he would've seen one by now.

Harry was making his way down to the Quidditch field, wishing and hoping he wouldn't be seeing anything obscene while down in the locker room. He got down to the door, and noticed it was unlocked already. Taking his chances, he opened the door. He walked in a ways, but stopped when he heard something... it sounded a little bit like Ron.

"Herm-mi-on-EEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!" Ron shouted, expressing so many emotions and feelings at once.

Just then, Harry had walked to the clearing in front of the lockers. He was completely speechless. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Oh Ron!! YESS!! Oh.. Oh Ron!. RON RON!!!... HARRY!!!"

"HARRY?!" Ron yelled back, feeling the greatest amount of anger.

"Harry," said Harry, wearily, just before he fell over on the floor, puked, and passed out.