My Immortal

Ginny shifted around in the half empty king sized bed in her bedroom. Her thoughts wouldn't stop rushing around inside her head.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears

Lately, Draco had been coming home from work lately, or, not at all. He would stay at the Ministry for days on end. This used to be normal, with the Great War going on. But that had been over.. for a year.

If you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave

She figured it was just the partial insanity that was still wearing off from when she was battling against Voldemort, but she couldn't get it out of her head that Draco just didn't love her anymore. Whenever he was home, though, he acted as they did when they first fell in love. Flowers, chocolates, massages... but when he was gone, he was completely gone.

Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone.

He had admitted to cheating on her once. He had been gone for almost three weeks, the longest he'd ever been away at one time. He never called, never sent an owl back home. When he got back, he felt horrible. He told Ginny all about it. Then vowed he would never go more than a week without coming home, never mess around with another woman, and never be disloyal to his wife again. Things were okay for a little while. But Ginny never truly got over that feeling; that feeling of betrayal. And now, Draco seemed too happy when he was home, just like before.

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

She lay awake in bed, tears stained against her face. She loved him so much. More than anyone she'd ever cared about. They'd been through Heaven and Hell together. Facing everyone when they decided to get married, finding out they'd never be able to conceive a child, their parents becoming friends over the years. Then the war itself. Going up against all those Deatheaters, being thrown into, and escaping Azkaban, and fighting Voldemort himself; overcoming Voldemort himself. She couldn't let him go after all that...

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

Or could she? Even after all of that, he, Draco, the love of her life, had chosen to risk giving all that up. They used to be so wonderful together. She'd have a bad day at work, and he would comfort her. Bring her back from all the stress and anxiety. They'd make love for eternity, she couldn't keep track of the time. He helped her get through those dark and creepy nights inside the prison walls. Now she was afraid of seeing him. She didn't want to face the day he'd come home and tell her he was leaving her. She lived in fear of this one thing.

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

She wanted to admit to herself that it had already happened. She was just dreaming when Draco was home, and completely awake when he wasn't. This was how her mind dealt with the anguish she was going through; a sort of denial that tried to trick her. When she did understand the reality of it all, she knew the situations were just about the same. She's alone either way.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

It had been two days since Ginny had seen Draco. She heard the door open and slam shut. Her mind was already starting to switch over to the state it did when he was around. That dream-like state. He came into the bedroom, changed into his pajamas and lay in the bed next to her. He kissed her on the cheek.

"You know I love you, don't you?" he whispered into her ear.

"Yes."

He kissed her once more. "I truly do. I've got to leave again in the morning though, love."

"Okay."

"Sorry."

"It's all right. I know it's not your fault."

"Good night, Ginny."

"Good night, Draco."

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me