Hope

You feel it in the air. You know it's coming. You haven't told the others where you're going, or they would surely try to talk you out of it. Or hold you back by force. You know they would. You're scared and wish there was someone here with you. But there isn't. You walk and you need to focus on something else than death. So you hum. You hum as you walk to the forbidden forest, which has never felt more forbidden than now. You hum a long forgotten lullaby, which you don't know where you've heard. Surely not from Aunt Petunia.

Aunt.

You tell yourself it's something you've heard at the Burrow, though you can't figure out why Mrs. Weasley would sing a lullaby.

For Ginny, maybe?

But you hope. Aunt. Sister.

And suddenly it comes crashing down again.

You don't want to be alone.

You feel something in your pocket, but can't seem to recall what it is.

It's a stone. A simple stone lies in the palm of your hand, and you hope.

You turn it one, two, three.

And somehow you manage not to sob.

You forget the stone in your hand, and think that somehow Ginny has come out to find you. So you wouldn't be alone.

But you hope. And you see.

And 'mum' suddenly feels like a strange word. And so does 'dad'. But Sirius is there too, and Lupin. And you feel your stomach twist.

But you hope.

For you will see them again soon, you're sure they will meet you on the other side. You're standing in the forest, and suddenly it doesn't matter, that it's forbidden.

You ask if it hurts, because you're scared. Even after everything that's happened, you're still scared.

And you hope.

You ask them, if they will walk with you.

And you think, that somehow they understand.

You walk, and suddenly they are gone, and you can't feel the stone. But you don't stop walking, because you know what your have to do, and you'll see them soon enough anyway.

You can hear them now. The death eaters. It comes as a shock, because you couldn't hear anything, but your own heartbeat the moment before. You can see them now, and you're afraid, that your heartbeat will give you away. But then you remember, that you're not supposed to hide. So you let them see.

And you hope.

Something happens, but you're not sure what. You see Hagrid and feel a pang of remorse. You hope he will be safe now. But then you see Him. Voldemort. He's talking, but you can't hear. And suddenly he's pointing his wand at you. And your scared, and you want to flee. Go back to the people you love and that love you.

Because you think, your parents will understand.

You hope.

But you can't. You won't. And somehow you don't think, that the ones at Hogwarts will understand.

But you let it happen. And you hope.

All you see is green.

And suddenly you forget, what hope is.