The Great Hogwarts Christmas Gift Exchange Debacle of 1996

~The Great Hogwarts Christmas Gift Exchange Debacle of 1996~

Part 5 of 5: Christmas Dinner

Christmas dinner began as a rather subdued affair. Molly had delivered a large goose as promised, roasted to perfection in a tray laden with baby onions and carrots, with steaming pots of garlic mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, peas, truly aromatic gravy, and a fresh loaf of cornbread to accompany it. Harry and Hermione had volunteered to lay the old mahogany table in the dining room with the Black family's cherished ancestral china (Sirius having thoroughly de-hexed it the year before), gilt-edged goblets, and best flatware.

Hermione Charmed the serviettes to reflect the House colours of the dinner guests - five crimson and gold Gryffindor versions, one blue and bronze pattern for Luna, and one in emerald and silver for Snape. Despite Lupin's protests, she had insisted on setting a place for her Potions professor at one end of the table. When the group gathered just before three o'clock for the feast, however, Snape was nowhere to be seen.

"It's all right, Hermione," Lupin said to her quietly, unfolding his serviette and placing it neatly on his lap. "I think Albus needed him to help with some Order business today." He ignored both her sceptical glare, and his own heavy heart.

Though Lupin spoke little throughout the meal, the kids traded animated stories about their past school term, their Quidditch rivalries, and Gryffindor's chances for the House Cup that year. He watched them and was suddenly reminded very much of his own youth, sitting around with James and Sirius and Peter, discussing these very same inane things... and he wondered when, and why, his life had become so much more complicated than that. At that moment, gazing across the table at Snape's empty chair, Lupin missed that old, easy life of his very much indeed.

Lost in his own thoughts, Lupin hadn't been following the conversation around him, which seemed to have drifted to tales of woe from Potions classes past.

"Yeah, and remember that time, Harry," Ron was saying, diving into his plate, "when we put shrivelled newt testicles into the boil cure potion that second time we had to make it, instead of crushed snake fangs? I thought old Snape would lose his mind at us, haha..." Bits of potato flew out of his mouth as he trailed off, noticing belatedly that the room had suddenly become as silent as a graveyard.

The entire table turned to stare at the black-clad figure that had just appeared between the dining room's elegant French doors.

Lupin's fork clattered to the table, while Ginny exchanged a nervous look with Luna, Ron hastily wiped his mouth, Harry eyed the newcomer with suspicion, and Hermione's face broke into a broad grin.

"Professor!" she exclaimed, rising hastily and starting to pull out the free chair in front of the Slytherin place at the table. "Please, have a seat - we've saved a place for you... lots of food, so good of you to come..."

Her five stunned companions all whirled their heads around simultaneously to stare at her with incredulity, as Snape stepped into the room, his eyes taking in the dinner scene before gliding up to the head of the table and landing on Lupin. They remained there for a long, intense moment, their inky depths shining with unreadable emotion.

"No, thank you, Ms. Granger," he replied in a low voice, his eyes never leaving Lupin. "I'm not here to eat."

The group's collective gaze followed Snape's, as Lupin sat unmoving, seemingly in shock. After several seconds he found his voice. "Then what are you here for, Severus?" he asked quietly.

"I'm here to finish something I started this morning," he replied, taking another step towards the head of the table. "Something I started very badly, that is. I don't suppose I could hope that the box I gave you hasn't found its way into the rubbish bin?" His black gaze bore into the other man, though his face remained neutral.

Lupin shook his head, reaching slowly into his robes and producing the tiny lacquered box. He hesitated a moment, breathing rapidly, then reached out to pass it to Snape. The electric charge that ignited when their hands touched could have lit the air around them on fire.

"Excellent. Now, Ms. Granger, if you might assist me for a moment?" Snape finally tore his eyes from Lupin and turned to Hermione, who immediately felt her cheeks flush.

"Oh!" she said in surprise, rising again and coming around to his side of the table. "Of course, Professor." She looked back to see her friends' faces locked in expressions of disbelief and smiled to herself. She had a feeling she might know what this was about.

Snape had produced a worn piece of parchment from his robes and handed it to her gracefully. "Have a look through that, if you please, so that you're familiar with it. I don't want this fucked up, quite frankly."

Ron snorted loudly and Hermione almost dropped the parchment. Everyone at the table except Lupin sniggered into their serviettes. Lupin simply stared at Snape incredulously, his mouth partly open.

"Um, of course, Professor. I'll try not to," said Hermione, stifling a giggle.

"Good. Now, Lupin, you'll have to wipe that utterly ridiculous look off your face and get up. I'm not doing this by myself, after all." All business, he waved Lupin over to stand in front of him, which the other man did, though slowly.

"Snape, what's going on here?" he finally asked. "We're trying to have Christmas dinner, all right? So maybe you should - "

"No, I shouldn't. Now shut up and stand still. This is no picnic for me either, you know." He turned back to Hermione as Lupin crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head slightly. "Have you got all that, Ms. Granger?" he asked, as though she'd been copying down Potions ingredients from the blackboard.

But when the group turned their heads back to Hermione, they saw that her eyes had filled with tears. "Yes, sir," she whispered, shivering.

Harry was on his feet in a second. "What is it?" he demanded, reaching for the parchment. "Hermione? Are you all right? What does it say?" He turned accusingly to Snape. "What do you really want here? Why are you trying to ruin our Christmas?!"

"No!" Hermione called out loudly, clutching the roll to her chest and out of his reach. "Sit down, Harry. I'm fine, really." She hastily wiped her sleeve across her face as the tears spilled down, and she turned back to Lupin. "Don't you dare let him leave without saying this," she warned, waving the parchment in front of her. "Don't you dare."

Snape glared at Harry. "If I may continue, Mr. Potter?" he said icily, as Harry slowly lowered himself back into his chair, worried eyes still trained on Hermione. "Good. Now, Ms. Granger, if you could please control your emotions, this will go much more smoothly for all of us."

She nodded silently, her eyes wide. She glanced down at the parchment again and had to work very hard indeed to suppress a smile.

"All right, then." Snape turned to the group. "Well. Since I am to have an audience for this, I really must insist on your full attention. I am here to announce to you that your Christmas dinner has just become something of a... ceremony. That is, if Lupin here agrees to... participate in it." He swallowed thickly and glanced at Lupin, whose mouth had dropped open again as he eyed the box in Snape's hand.

"Oh no, Snape," he said quickly. "Oh gods, for the love of all things holy, not now..." His eyes darted around the table.

Ginny rose suddenly, comprehension dawning on her face as she, too, eyed the box. "Why not now?" she demanded, glaring at Lupin, her hands planted firmly on her hips. "We just took a silent vote, and we decided that the ceremony should happen now." A grin tugged at the corners of her mouth, as Ron and Harry exchanged looks of absolute confusion, and Luna gazed dreamily at Snape and Lupin.

"She's right, of course," Luna added, smiling at Ginny. "The Quibbler has done several surveys, and they all show that Christmas weddings have a much greater success rate for the marriages than those that occur any other day of the year."

"Wedding?!" Ron sputtered, looking from Luna to Ginny to Hermione to Lupin to Snape with an expression of horror on his face. "What the hell are you on about?!"

"Mr. Weasley," replied Snape coldly, "you will have to remove yourself from this room and, I might add, forfeit the remains of your goose leg, if you cannot control your outbursts."

Ron caught Harry's eye and threw his hands up in the air. "Those two?!" he hollered, gesturing at the other side of the table. "You're all mad! Am I the only one here who can see that they're both men?!"

"So?" Ginny hissed, grabbing Luna's hand and staring angrily at her brother. "You're a stupid git - does that mean we shouldn't let you get married someday?"

Ron's mouth flapped open silently several times in astonishment as his eyes locked on Ginny's hand, intertwined with Luna's. He sat back down with a thump, too shocked to speak.

"Thank you, Ms. Weasley." Snape smirked at her. "That will do. Now, could we get on with this please, before Ms. Granger is reduced to a puddle of tears on the floor?"

They all looked back at Hermione, who was still leaking like a sieve as she continued to scan the parchment. She jumped, wiping her eyes again. "Sorry," she mumbled. "It's just that this is so... that you... I just never would have believed that you could - "

"Yes, quite," Snape interrupted. "Now, you are going to officiate - can you handle that? I could always ask Mr. Weasley to do the honours, if you don't feel up to the task." His mouth twisted into a wry smile as his gaze fell on Ron, who was still looking shell-shocked.

"Nope," replied Hermione cheerfully, smoothing her hair back. "I'm up for it." She winked at Lupin and grinned.

"Good." He turned at last to Lupin again, who had been silently observing the conversation with something like panic in his eyes. "Then let us begin. Ms. Granger?"

She nodded, looked down at the parchment, and took a deep breath. "Ladies, gentlemen, and insufferable Gryffindor brats," she read, glancing up and biting her lip as Ron and Harry grimaced. "We are gathered here today because some rather misguided Muggles have decided that the birth of their lord and saviour should best be celebrated by purchasing inane material objects for each other, in the utter over-commercialisation of a holiday ostensibly devoted to the memory of a penniless carpenter." She tripped a few times over the excessive verbosity, but finally reached the end of the sentence and paused to giggle. Snape shot her a deadly look.

"And since we are already here for that," she continued, composing herself and concentrating on doing her best Snape impression as she recited the parchment's words, "we might as well get something else over with." She straightened her posture and gazed evenly at Snape and Lupin. "Repeat after me, please, Professor," she instructed. "I, Severus Snape - "

"I, Sev - "

"No, wait," Hermione interjected. "I think you should hold his hands for this." She glanced at Luna and Ginny for support, and they nodded rapidly.

"Yes, definitely," confirmed Ginny.

"It would help," Luna agreed.

Ron and Harry exchanged appalled glances, while Snape sighed.

"Very well," he replied, reaching out tentatively for Lupin's hands. They looked at each other then, really looked at each other, for the first time since Luna had revealed the exact nature of the ceremony, and Hermione's heart flipped over as she watched them fall into each other's eyes.

"Much better." She nodded approvingly at them. "OK. I, Severus Snape - "

"Oh, for Merlin's sake," Snape muttered, then cleared his throat. "I, Severus Snape - "

"Being of sound mind and body - "

Lupin coughed at that, smirking as he ran an appreciative and completely undisguised glance up and down Snape's body.

"Being of sound mind and body," Snape repeated through gritted teeth, glaring at Lupin.

"And not being under the influence of any intoxicating, hallucinogenic, or other judgement-altering potions - "

Ginny giggled.

"And not being under the influence of any intoxicating, hallucinogenic, or other judgement-altering potions..." Snape raised an eyebrow at the girl.

"Have come here today to tell Remus Lupin - " Hermione's voice softened as she looked up at the two of them.

"Have come here today to tell Remus Lupin..." Snape gazed evenly at the other man.

"That..." Hermione took a deep breath and chanced a quick peek at Snape, who pursed his lips and nodded at her to continue. "That every second I am not in his presence makes me older, weaker, and more generally despicable as a human being."

Lupin's eyebrows shot up, but Snape nodded at Hermione to keep reading.

"And that every second I am fortunate enough to be in his presence... makes the rainbows shoot over the moon, and all the furry creatures in the Forbidden Forest laugh and play merrily together, as pink hearts explode overhead like fireworks..."

Snape dropped Lupin's hands and grabbed the parchment from Hermione. "I did not write that," he snarled at her as she put a hand to her mouth to hide a giggle.

"Sorry, Professor," she said meekly. "I couldn't help it."

Lupin laughed and shook his head. "Thanks, Hermione, but let's see what he really wrote, hmm?" He turned his grey eyes back to Snape. "I for one am rather curious."

Snape wordlessly handed the parchment back to Hermione, his eyes boring pure emotion through the man in front of him. Hermione's lip trembled as she continued, her voice soft.

"...every second I am fortunate enough to be in his presence allows the sun to rise anew on my battered life, on the soul I believed had been condemned to damnation. He redeems me; he is the only one capable of saving me, and he does so - daily, nightly - without asking questions, without demanding commitments, without voicing expectations that I could ever do the same for him. I was certain I did not do the same for him - that I could not, because my heart was blackened by the miserable experiences of my wasted life." Hermione paused as her voice began to quiver, reduced to barely a whisper now. The dining room was so silent that a pin could have dropped on a cushion, and all seven heads would have whipped around at the clatter.

"But I have nearly lost him. Coming so close, on so many occasions, to losing him forever has convinced me that I can do the same for him. That I must. That my dark and desperate soul is capable of knowing love, of giving it and receiving it, if I only step out from behind my masks and allow it. Today, I am here to say that I love him with a passion so blinding I almost cannot breathe, and if he tells me he does not love me the same way, that he wants me banished from his life, then I will retreat into a shell of myself and live out my remaining days in blackness and pain, waiting to welcome death."

Hermione finished her quiet recitation, breathing heavily amidst the silence in the room.

"No pressure or anything," Ron finally whispered to Harry, and Lupin chuckled, breaking the tension.

His eyes shining, Lupin stepped forward and in one swift movement captured Snape in a breathtaking kiss. Not caring one whit for the teenagers surrounding them - some of whom had evidently never even heard of men kissing before, never mind witness it - he seemed to unleash every ounce of accumulated passion in his soul, clutching at Snape's shoulders as the other man moved strong hands into his hair, their mouths joined so seamlessly that the grinning onlookers could scarcely tell where one man ended and the other began.

For his part, with his eyes closed and an eddy of unbridled emotion streaking through his blood, Lupin felt so light-headed he could barely remain standing. He felt as though Snape's lips on his, Snape's arms around him, were the only things holding him upright in this world, and he never, ever wanted them to let go.

"Wooooo!!"

"Hurrah!"

"Oh yeah!"

The gaggle of cheering female voices resounding through the dining room as Hermione, Ginny, and Luna began to applaud wildly, finally parted the lovers. Harry and Ron joined in eventually, Harry in particular gaining slow appreciation for the scene in front of him as he clapped his hands and allowed his face to slip into a grin. Ron remained dumbfounded, but clapped along with the others, his eyes darting uncertainly around the room - everywhere but at the happy couple.

Snape stepped back from Lupin and winced as he looked at the group, as if realising for the first time that after this spectacle, he would never regain his carefully cultivated authority over these bloody kids when the new term began.

"Wait," Ginny interrupted, raising a hand to silence the applause. "Is that it? Doesn't Professor Snape have to repeat what Hermione said? Doesn't Remus have to say something?" She glanced at Luna for support, but the other girl just smiled dreamily and shrugged.

"I suppose they could if they wanted to," she said thoughtfully, "but I'm quite convinced it's a done deal as of now."

"It's all right, Ginny," Lupin said in a soft voice, gazing at Snape. "I'll make sure he repeats that to me later. His head might pop off if he forces himself to actually utter anything emotional in front of you lot."

Snape folded his arms over his chest and glared.

"All right, but you should tell him," insisted Ginny. "You have to tell him how you feel!"

Snape glanced at her, then over to Hermione, his mouth quirking dangerously towards an actual smile. "Not that I would object to that, but Ms. Granger did already accomplish that on your behalf, earlier today."

Lupin's eyes widened as his gaze darted to Hermione, who stood blushing, still holding the parchment in one hand.

"Oh, um. I might have told him what you said last night, is all," she muttered, looking at the floor. "I'm sorry, Remus, I didn't mean to interfere, I just- I wanted to make sure he knew."

"You're sorry?" he sputtered, crossing over to her. Before she could object, he took her in his arms for a grateful hug.

She relished the warmth of his body and felt a momentary pang of sadness that this could never be hers. But her mind flashed back to the words on that parchment, and she knew that this was the way things had to be, that nothing in the world made as much sense as these two did, together. She had no desire to tamper with that. None at all. She squeezed her arms around him briefly, then let go, not trusting herself to hold on too long. She reached up and placed a quick kiss on his cheek. "Congratulations," she said happily, then turned to Snape.

"Don't even think it," he warned.

But Hermione grinned devilishly and cleared her throat. "By the power vested in me by, um, Professor Snape, I now pronounce you..."

Ron looked green.

"... in love forever. Sorry Professor," she added wickedly to Snape, "but it's not just about sex anymore, all right?" Before he could protest, she hopped up and gave him a peck on the cheek as well, blushing furiously. "Congratulations."

Snape grimaced while Lupin broke out in laughter at that, as Ginny and Luna resumed their cheering, and Harry quietly reached across the table for the tiny lacquered box.

"Wait a second," he said. "Won't you be needing these?" He handed the box to Lupin, catching the man's gaze and smiling.

Lupin nodded, and it looked to Hermione like he was having a very difficult time holding himself together. "We will indeed. Thank you, Harry."

He pulled his wand out of his robes and tapped the box. It performed several lazy circles in the air before opening and landing back in his hand, the twin bands gleaming in the late afternoon light streaming in through the dining room windows. With shaking hands, Lupin reached inside and took one gently between his fingers, then trained shining eyes on Snape.

"Well," he asked hoarsely, "are you going to give me your hand or not?"

Snape slowly raised his left hand, palm down, but a second later changed his mind and dropped it again, beginning the gesture over again with his right hand. Lupin regarded him for a moment, then allowed a smile to creep across his lips. The others may not have understood what had just happened, but Lupin did. It was far from legal, what they were doing, and the fewer questions they had to answer about wedding rings on wedding fingers, the better. He grasped Snape's right hand and pushed the ring slowly onto the third finger.

He glanced quickly at the kids, then leaned in and whispered quietly in Snape's ear, "You are mine, Severus - I want you, only you, all of you."

Snape's face remained neutral, but his eyes held Lupin pinned to the spot. He reached for the box and plucked the remaining band out, hesitating slightly before grasping Lupin's right hand. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" he asked quietly, ignoring their audience. When Lupin nodded, Snape said nothing more but pushed the band gently onto the other man's finger, gazed at it for a long moment, then brought Lupin back to his chest in a crushing embrace.

As they stood in the middle of the dining room, suddenly oblivious to everyone else around them, the five teenagers at the table looked around at each other with varying degrees of understanding on their faces. Ginny and Luna let their eyes fall on each other, clasping hands under the table and beaming at the newlyweds. Hermione watched the two girls with a new sense of recognition and happiness snapping into place inside of her, and thought that they were the most stunning young couple she had ever seen - the men in front of her lost in each other's arms notwithstanding, of course. She raised her eyes to Harry and found him already looking at her with admiration. He winked at her and reached across the table to take her hand, which she gladly offered.

Ron continued to appraise the entire scene around him with detached horror, but seemed to have settled into a relative acceptance of the fact that nothing he said was going to change anyone's mind about what the lot of them had evidently decided to do with their lives. He sighed dramatically and rested his chin in his hand, watching the others and shaking his head.

*********************************************

After dinner, Snape and Lupin retreated to the library to talk, the other guests at Grimmauld Place giving them a wide berth of privacy and taking up a variety of other pursuits: Hermione grabbed the copy of Frankenstein that she had given Lupin - well, Snape - and curled up in front of the fireplace in the main sitting room, the Christmas tree twinkling in front of her. Ginny and Luna settled into the sofa together in the upstairs lounge, kissing and chatting.

Harry and Ron, meanwhile, barely made it up to their shared bedroom before bursting into laughter.

"Oh gods, Harry, can you believe this?!" cried Ron, shutting the door behind him and diving onto his bed, shaking with laughter. "Snape's a pouf! Haha - and, agh! - they think they're married! Mum will never believe this!"

Harry was slightly more reserved in his shock, but he chuckled alongside Ron. "Well," he began, "it's pretty normal these days, you know - blokes being in love and all."

"Harry!" moaned Ron. "That's disgusting! I mean, Remus I can sort of see, I guess. He's all quiet and intellectual and neat - and I'm glad he's not after Hermione at least. But Snape? Snape doesn't like anyone! And besides, I thought they hated each other! Remember the year Remus taught at Hogwarts? Wasn't Snape the one who told the Slytherins he was a werewolf and got him fired?"

"I think he just quit, Ron," said Harry. "Dumbledore wouldn't have fired him, not if he'd gotten a thousand angry letters from parents."

Ron shrugged.

"And I guess they must have worked through that, right? There must be more to it than we know - they do have a long history after all; they went to school together and everything..."

"Yeah, I guess." Ron looked bored of the subject already. "I'm tired of talking about them - let's just forget this whole thing ever happened, yeah?"

Harry forced a grin. "Yeah, all right."

"Where's Sirius's present?" continued Ron enthusiastically. "I didn't really get to see it last night - let's have a good look."

Harry's face brightened and he jumped off the bed to retrieve the box from the bureau. "Oh, right!" he exclaimed. "I nearly forgot about it. You've got to see O'Sullivan, Ron, he's bloody brilliant! He'll even do a Wronski Feint if you watch him long enough. I tell you, the best move the Cannons ever made was getting rid of Gudgeon..." He busied himself in setting up the miniature pitch and launching the Quaffle, Bludgers, Golden Snitch, and the little players themselves.

"Wicked!" Ron whistled in admiration as the match zoomed to life just over Harry's bedspread, and they sat on Ron's bed and watched.

"Look, there he goes!" cried Harry after a moment, pointing at the tiny O'Sullivan.

Ron's mouth dropped open as he watched the little Seeker, hurtling through the air towards Harry's pillow as the opposing Seeker followed closely on his tail. He pulled up at the last minute, leaving his opponent to crash spectacularly, then zipped back into the air and wrapped his tiny fist around the real Snitch, which had been hovering over one of the bedposts.

"O'Sullivan's done it again!" An announcer's voice boomed throughout the bedroom as the Seeker completed a victory lap around the bed. "Brendan O'Sullivan, the young Irish Seeker, ladies and gentlemen! He's only been with the team a few months, but boy, is he making a name for himself. Chudley certainly was lucky to lure him from the Kenmare Kestrels in the fall. If he keeps playing like this, our trusty Cannons - with their motto, 'Why win a match when losing is so much easier?' - well, they might even have a go at the championship this year..."

Ron wrinkled his nose as the commentator snickered at his own joke, and a new match began over the bed. "Harry," he said slowly. "That guy's right - O'Sullivan only joined the Cannons in September."

"Yeah, I know!" said Harry brightly. "That's why his stats are so amazing! Already by Christmas he's won twenty-one - "

"No," Ron interrupted, his face screwed up in concentration now. "I mean, Remus said that Sirius got this for you ages ago, right? And had all the players Charm it?"

Harry nodded.

"But it's got O'Sullivan in it... and he only joined in September... and Sirius... well, I mean, he couldn't have..." He swallowed and let his words trail off.

Harry's face flushed. "Who cares, Ron?!" he said furiously. "I don't know how he did it - maybe he just had an advance order in or something!" He swore and looked out the window. "Why'd you have to go and remind me that he's not here?" he added quietly.

"Oh, um- I'm sorry, Harry. It's just, well, it seems odd. You have to be careful about strange gifts, you know - there's always people trying to kill you, right? Like with Sirius's Firebolt, remember? McGonagall had to check that thing right out, and - "

"And there was nothing wrong with it!" Harry snapped. "And there's nothing wrong with this, either. Who cares if the dates are a bit odd? It's a great present!" He eyed Ron suspiciously. "So don't go to McGonagall about it or anything, right? That's all I need." He ran a hand through his hair in exasperation.

"I'm not going to!" Ron shouted back. "Just- I don't know, maybe you should ask Remus a few more questions about it, is all." He pushed himself off the bed and headed to the door. "If you're going to be a prat, I guess I'll go sit around with all the gay people for awhile." He slammed the door shut behind him.

Harry sat unmoving on the bed, his mind reeling. Ron was right, he admitted - the gift had to have been purchased after O'Sullivan joined the team in September, which meant... Sirius couldn't have bought it. But then, who was it from? He gazed out the window for a long time, as the sun set on the lonely crescent and the street lamps lazily flickered to life.

A light snow began to fall as he collapsed against the bed and punched his fist into the pillow, comprehension dawning on him. You're not my father, and you're not my godfather, so just leave me the hell alone!

He winced and rolled over, burying his face in the sheets.

Bloody hell.

*********************************************

Harry approached the door to the library with a mixture of apprehension and caution. He could hear low voices inside, talking and occasionally laughing together, and he expected that he would not find Remus alone inside, as he had hoped. When he reached the end of the corridor he saw that the door was partly open, and he peeked inside slightly before knocking. He wanted to know what he was in for.

What he saw held him riveted to the spot for more than a few seconds, his surprise slowly replaced by a warm smile spreading across his face. Remus was lounging in one of his favourite armchairs, the worn tawny leather one by the fireplace, a glass of brandy swirling in one hand. He sat slightly sideways, one leg thrown casually over the arm of the chair, his foot playfully teasing against the knee of the room's other occupant.

Snape, Harry saw by peering a bit further in the door, sat leisurely in the wing chair next to Remus, his collar open, his robes unbuttoned and fading seamlessly into the soft black fabric of the chair. Long legs stretched out in front of him, ankles crossed, and his elbows rested comfortably on either side of the chair. He too held a half-drunk snifter of a dark liquid that matched Remus's.

Their eyes were locked on each other as they chatted easily, Remus pausing occasionally to chuckle over something, which invariably led to Snape allowing himself a small smile, despite what seemed to be his best efforts against it. Harry's breath caught in his throat as he watched them. He couldn't hear exactly what they were talking about, but it seemed to him that it didn't matter. They looked so comfortable with each other, so at home in this room, in their library, he realised, enjoying a drink after dinner, lost in each other's company.

The bands on their fingers caught the light as they moved their hands - Remus to animate whatever story he was telling, Snape to calmly push a strand of hair out of his eyes or bring his drink up to his lips - and Harry almost literally felt his heart warm at the sight. And to think that this almost didn't happen, that so many people had been working to keep them apart - not just Hermione and that whole misunderstanding, Harry realised, but everyone from whom they'd felt they needed to hide their relationship: himself, certainly the staff and students at Hogwarts, probably Sirius (he admitted reluctantly), and of course the Ministry - which, if it knew about those white gold bands, would probably haul them both off to Azkaban for violating the Regulations for the Propagation of Wizardkind.

That was one lecture that Professor Binns had given for which Harry had actually stayed awake... he hadn't thought about it much since, but he recalled feeling slightly ill at the time, as the old ghost droned on about the Ministry's legislative attempts to ensure that witches and wizards married each other and produced as many lovely Wizard children as possible - which meant punishing quite severely those who refused to abide by those rules. Wizards like the two in that library, of course, would have been first on the list of those breaking the law.

He shook his head and eyed Snape with a new appreciation. The man was a colossal arsehole most of the time, and had ensured that Harry's Potions classes resembled a unique version of hell, there was no mistake about that. But watching him now, Harry was struck by how relaxed he was. He wondered if it was Remus's influence, then almost laughed out loud. Of course it is, he berated himself. What else could it be? He suddenly recalled several Potions classes in the past year when Snape had been tolerable, had left Harry well enough alone and had refrained from making even one scathing remark, assigning even one unfair detention. Had those been the days after he had seen Remus? Harry would never know, of course, but it made him smile to think of it.

Yes, he confirmed in his mind as he raised his hand to knock on the door and disturb this moment of theirs: Remus was a good man. He brought out the best in others, somehow, despite having been dealt some of life's worst possible blows. He managed to remain kind and generous, to give of himself freely when others were in need, never to ask for anything in return. Until this. He had asked for this, for happiness with this man - he had dared to wish for it, hope for it, pursue it, and he almost wasn't allowed to have it.

Harry was suddenly furious with himself for causing Remus what had surely been so much grief in the past year, and he decided he had to start making up for it, right now. He took a deep breath and knocked loudly on the door, stepping all the way inside before he could lose his nerve.

*********************************************

CRACK!

Ah. You at last. I was wondering when I'd get to you. You're not the last to come in here, of course, but you're really the only one of any interest to me in that room. Why? Oh, dear man, do you really need to ask me that? Because you are positively spectral this year. Haunted. I've seen you look that way before, do you remember? Yes. Christmas Eve, fifteen years ago. I almost didn't recognise you then. What's that? Well, don't be ridiculous, of course Crackers can recognise people! That's the whole point of us! Honestly, the stupid questions I've heard from this group today.

No. I recognise you. Just as I did then, though that night - it was the Weasleys' annual party, do you remember? - yes, it took some time for me to peel away the layers of grief to get to you. Oh, very well, we don't have to talk about that. It never gets any easier, does it? No. That I understand. You've been dealt some cruel blows, my dear man, and make no mistake about that - even crueller, some might say, than that lover of yours. Oh, hush up, of course I know about him! No, he sought his tragedies, you know - he needed them somehow, needed to defeat himself with them in order to feel alive. But you didn't. No, your tragedies sought you, old friend, and no one has ever deserved them less than you did.

What do you seek now? Absolution? Nonsense. You couldn't have saved them. You were meant to endure this; you were meant to survive the test. And you have. It's time to give in and fall - to stop punishing yourself with your emotional purgings. You've suffered enough. Loving him will not lead to his death, so you can stop using that as an excuse. I'll certainly never understand what you or anyone else sees in him, but I am a polite Cracker and have no intention of sticking my nose in people's private business. Yes, you've done your time, dear man. Give yourself some peace.

Now, onto more pressing matters - the boy, and that gift. Oh, dear me, you aren't really going through with that, are you? I see. Very well, then, but might I point out that you aren't doing either of you any favours by pretending he's still alive. PUT THAT WAND AWAY! For Merlin's sake, now I definitely know who you've been spending too much time with! And anyway, I'm only telling you what you already know. The boy needs you, old friend, whether he knows it or not - and you need him. Yes, you do. He's not a ghost, he's not a memory, and he's not a bad dream. He's real, and so are you, I might add - and that is precisely why you need each other.

One happy family? Oh no, I certainly never said that, so wipe that cynical sneer off your face! The gothic charmer really is a terrible influence on you, and I will not apologise for saying so. Honestly. No, all I wished to point out was that it's Christmas, you fool, and it's time to start afresh. Leave the past where it belongs, pick yourself up, and go after what you want.

It's time for new beginnings, and I daresay you're about to make an admirable go of it. Your friends can see you now, I might add, and they're proud. Off with you! Send in that Lovegood girl, would you? I have some good news for her. Oh, and Happy Christmas, dear man.

Happy Christmas.

*********************************************

"Oh, Harry!" Lupin looked up at him, smiling. "Come on in."

Snape frowned slightly but didn't snap into a more formal pose on Harry's behalf. He continued to swirl his drink lazily, eyeing the boy with suspicion.

"Um, sorry to bother you guys, but, um, I just wanted to talk to Remus for a second," he mumbled, his eyes darting to Snape. The man sighed dramatically and started to rise, but Lupin stopped him.

"Whatever you have to say to me you can say in front of Severus, Harry," he said pleasantly. "That's the way it is now."

Snape smirked and sat down again, reclining into the chair and resting his chin in one hand. Lupin had the distinct impression that he wasn't going to stay out of any desire to actually hear what Harry had to say, but rather simply to annoy the hell out of the boy.

"OK," Harry muttered, slinking into the room and taking a seat on the sofa opposite them. "Um, first, I just wanted to say, you know, congratulations and everything. So you're... married now, I guess?" He looked at them uncertainly, the blush rising in his cheeks.

Lupin smiled warmly at Snape and traced his foot discreetly up the other man's leg, then glanced back at Harry. "Thank you, Harry," he replied. "And yes, I suppose we are, in our own way." He paused and cocked his head to the side. "How do you feel about that?"

"On second thought," Snape drawled, rising from his chair, "I believe I shall give you two your privacy after all. This doesn't sound like a conversation I want any part of." He shot a bemused look at Lupin as he gathered his robes and left the room.

Harry watched him go, then turned back to Lupin to find him smiling and shaking his head. "Well, um, I was a bit surprised, I guess," he stumbled, "but now it's fine, I mean, as long as you're happy."

"I am, Harry, thank you. But just out of curiosity, what part of all this was most surprising to you - finding out who I am, or who I'm in love with?"

"Oh!" Harry blushed outright at that. "I- well, I already knew you were..."

"Gay?" Lupin prompted.

"Um, yeah." He looked up sheepishly. "Sirius told me a long time ago," he added.

Lupin arched an eyebrow.

"He wasn't trying to tell me all your business or anything," he continued hurriedly. "It was just that... well, I came to him last fall, when I thought that maybe I was... I mean when I was sort of..." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, there was this bloke in my dorm - Seamus, maybe you remember him?"

Lupin nodded silently, watching Harry with great interest.

"Yeah, and so, for a bit there I sort of- well, I thought that maybe I wanted to... I don't know, go out with him or something." He finished his sentence very quickly and looked down at his hands.

Lupin remained silent, eyeing the boy keenly and letting him come to his own decisions about what he wished to reveal in this conversation.

"So I, um, I asked Sirius about it... you know, just to see if I was normal, if he'd ever thought like that or anything... and he said he hadn't, but that I was definitely normal. And then he said that I could maybe talk to you if I wanted to, because you'd know more about it than he would."

Lupin's concerned face suddenly crumpled. He bit his lip. "Ah," he said thickly, then forced a wistful laugh and looked away. "But... you didn't. Come talk to me, I mean."

"No," Harry agreed. "I didn't. I'm sorry."

"It's all right, Harry. We weren't on very good terms there for awhile, were we?" Lupin tried to keep the emotion out of his voice, and feared he was failing miserably. But fuck it - it was time to confront this with the kid.

Harry snorted. "I guess not. I'm sorry, Remus. It wasn't anything you did. I just... I don't know. I don't know what happened."

Lupin nodded. He did understand; it was the same for him. They had both just sort of lost track of the friendship they had once shared - no one could ever say how things like that happened, especially between adults and their emotionally unstable adolescent wards. Any parent of a teenager would surely understand exactly how Lupin felt - having a wonderful relationship with a child once, only to find it completely unravelled two years later, for no discernible reason.

He cleared his throat. "What happened with Seamus, then?" he asked, a curious look on his face.

"Oh." Harry laughed. "Nothing. It sort of... went away, I guess. I mean, he's still a nice guy and everything, but I don't really feel that way anymore."

"Ah yes, the passing same-sex fantasy." Lupin smirked. "That's even more normal than being plain old gay, Harry. Welcome to your hormonally charged adolescence, possibly the only time in your life when shagging just about anyone who walks in front of you - boy, girl, and Flobberworm alike - will seem like a spectacular idea."

Harry chuckled, his cheeks red again. "Yeah, that's for sure," he agreed. "But now I think... I mean, I know, that I'd rather spend my time with Hermione."

Lupin's eyes widened. "Oh, Harry, I didn't know that. Bloody hell, I'm so sorry about last night. I guess you really hate me now?"

"No, no, actually - " Harry looked up shyly - "I think I should thank you. We had a really good talk this morning, and I think... I think things might work out for us."

Lupin's face relaxed. "That's wonderful, Harry. I hope they do. She explained everything, then?" He eyed the boy uncertainly.

"Yeah, don't worry. I know you weren't trying to take advantage of her or anything."

"Thank the gods. I guess all of you have also figured out by now that I thought it was Severus's room?" His face coloured as Harry laughed.

"Oh yeah, don't worry, Remus," he said jovially. "The whole house knows all about it now - considering you did just marry the bloke over Christmas dinner and everything."

"Oh yes, right." Lupin nodded solemnly, then broke into a grin. "And you're OK with that?"

"Sure. I mean, I wouldn't marry Snape, but hey, if that's what you want, that's your choice I guess." He shrugged.

"Thanks, Harry," said Lupin warmly. "That means a lot to me."

They sat in silence for a long moment then, but a comfortable one, and Lupin finally felt for the first time in ages like they might actually be able to salvage a version of their past ease with each other. That maybe, just maybe, after all that had happened to them, between them, that after the traumas they had both suffered the night that James and Lily were killed, the desolation they had both felt at Sirius's death... that they might be able to reconnect with each other - to give each other something that nobody else could.

"Remus?" Harry asked tentatively.

"Mmm?"

"Maybe we could, um, go to see a Cannons match sometime, yeah? I mean, I've never really asked you if you like Quidditch or anything, but... "

Lupin looked up sharply and found soft green eyes searching his expectantly. He held Harry's gaze for a long moment, his throat too tight to speak, then finally nodded. 'Yeah," he managed. "That would be nice." He rose and clapped Harry on the shoulder. "And of course I like Quidditch. Never missed one of your dad's matches, you know."

"Really?" Harry asked, getting up from the sofa and following Lupin to the door.

"Of course. He was unbelievable, Harry, you have no idea..."

As they headed down the hall to join the others, Harry asking a million questions about his father's abilities on the pitch, Lupin chuckling and losing himself in some of his happiest school memories, the very air around them seemed to have lightened like a balloon let loose at a child's party. Lupin would later reflect on the moment, on that Christmas Day when his relationship with Harry took a decided upwards turn, and wonder if he hadn't indeed felt the very spirits of James, Lily, and Sirius hovering above Grimmauld Place that day, putting right all the relationships among the people they had left behind.

Well, he corrected himself - James and Sirius certainly would have given him several appalled second glances for that band on his finger, and the person wearing the matching one, but even that, he reasoned, they would have understood. He wouldn't have given them a choice. Is true happiness attainable? Are happy endings ever possible? He didn't know, and didn't care at that moment. All he knew was that the Christmas of 1996, after veering very close to disaster on several occasions, had turned out to be one of the best ever celebrated, as far as most of the inhabitants of number twelve, Grimmauld Place were concerned.

And as for poor Ron, Lupin thought with a smile as he and Harry called the others together in the parlour for a final glass of Festive Cheer before heading to bed - well, there was always next year.

THE END