Nothing Hidden

In their compartment on board the Hogwarts Express, Harry brooded as he stared out the window.

For the first hour he had Sirius had been almost deliriously happy. They were on their way home. For Harry, it would be the first true home he ever had. For Sirius, it would be the first safe haven he had known in over a decade.

Then, dark thoughts had crept into Harry's mind. He still had so many unanswered questions. He couldn't shake them, and finally Sirius had left him alone, letting him gaze out the window silently.

Harry's thoughts were jumbled. Snatches of conversations he had overheard, bits of facts he had picked up over the years, all mixed together and whirled madly inside his head.

His parents had died for him . . . But his mother had learned spells from Voldemort? No, it couldn't be, it just couldn't be.

The witch with the food cart appeared at the compartment door, but Harry wasn't hungry and only shook his head when Sirius asked if he wanted anything.

The Sorting Hat had almost placed him in Slytherin. True, even two children of the same parents were sometimes placed in different houses, but with both of Harry's parents having been Gryffindors . . .

Voldemort had offered his mother a choice, to stand aside and live, or to protect Harry and die. Harry knew this much from reliving his parents' final moments during the times he was affected by the Dementors. Why had Voldemort, usually merciless to anyone who stood in his way, made this unprecedented offer to Harry's mother?

Harry stumbled out of the compartment, feeling suffocated. He went to the lavatory to splash cold water on his face, thinking it might help clear his head. He gazed into the mirror.

What had they said about his parents?

They'd said he was condemned to live a lie. And Snape had insinuated that there was something bad to be said about James and Lily Potter.

He looked like James Potter. The same black hair, the glasses . . . How many people had remarked how much he looked like his father? And he believed it, but for the first time he noticed that there were no other features on his face that could clearly be attributed to either of his parents. He drew up a mental picture of his father, the way he looked in the photos Harry had of his parents. He did look like him! Harry shook his head stubbornly. Of course he did.

But he kept looking into his own green eyes, the only thing he seemed to have of his mother.

What had she done that was so terrible it couldn't be spoken of?

He felt that not knowing the truth would rip him apart inside. Maybe the truth would too, he thought, but he would get no rest until he knew it.

I intend to let him live in peace! Harry heard Snape's angry voice again in his head, and felt his own anger rise.

He shook his head again. He didn't want to remember any more. This was supposed to be a happy day, the happiest day of his life! Why wouldn't his thoughts stop tormenting him?

He went back to the compartment, forcing his face into a smile when Sirius looked up.

Enough of this glum silence!

"I still can't believe we're finally going to be together," he said, trying to recapture the lighthearted happiness of that knowledge. "I wonder what would have happened if . . ."

He stopped, not wanting to say something that might make Sirius remember the long time he had spent in hiding. What was the matter with him? Couldn't he say two sentences without referring to something grim?

"You would have stayed at Hogwarts," Sirius replied.

"With Professor Dumbledore?" Harry asked, surprised.

One moment too many passed by while Sirius gathered his thoughts.

"With Snape?" Harry exclaimed incredulously.

"Yes," Sirius answered shortly. This wasn't a conversation he wanted to be having.

"How awful would that have been? I've had enough of those dungeons to last me a lifetime."

Harry had wanted Sirius to agree with him, to laugh along with him. But Sirius' face was strangely drawn and apathetic.

"I mean, he wouldn't have wanted that either!" Harry continued, a little desperately. "It's just lucky that he was able to capture Wormtail when he did!"

Sirius drew a shaky breath. He recalled Dumbledore's final words to him as they parted.

"There is nothing hidden that shall not be revealed in time," Dumbledore had said. "It's up to you now. You can either harm, or lay the foundation for healing."

He hadn't understood then, but he understood now. Someday Harry would find out the truth. Sirius was the most likely person he would turn to for comfort when he needed it, but only if he believed Sirius to be a sympathetic confidant. Whatever he said against Snape now would come back to haunt him then.

"He did want you," he said reluctantly. "But he believed that you would be happier with me. Our dislike of each other didn't stretch as far as wanting me to remain a fugitive forever, when he knew I was innocent. If he had been made your guardian, I'm sure he would have done his best to . . ."

I intend to let him live in peace! Flashed like a bold of lightning across Harry's brain, its new meaning searing right into his heart. Like a puzzle, the jumbled pieces fit together inside his mind.

He jerked back in his seat, so hard that his head slammed against the compartment wall.

Sirius startled, and leaned toward him in alarm, reaching out his hand toward Harry's. But Harry stood up before his godfather could touch him.

On Harry's flushed face was a mixture of determination and trepidation.

"Stop the train."