Rescue Me

Chapter Nine: Overboard

What was I waiting for
I should've taken less and given you more
I should've weathered the storm
I need to say so bad
What were you waiting for
This could have been the best we ever had

I'm just getting older
I'm not getting over you I'm trying to
I wish it didn't hurt like this
It's been way too long for the times we missed
I can't believe it still hurts like this

-continued lyrics from "The Older I Get" by Skillet

Harry didn't know exactly what to think. He had, of course, been extremely affected by Hermione's recent choices.

Sleeping with Draco... Cutting herself... Forcing herself to throw up... Drinking... Smoking... Having an attitude towards everyone... More things that he knew he didn't know about.

The thoughts swirled through his head. He tried to get them out, but he couldn't. The one that seemed to hurt the most thinking of the fact that Hermione actually allowed Draco to have sex with her, especially after he had raped her before. He shuddered at the thought, and it pained him to think of everything that Hermione did.

He tried to picture her smoking. He couldn't. He tried to imagine a blade on her wrist and her hands forcing the cuts. He couldn't. He tried to imagine her drinking. He couldn't. He couldn't fully imagine anything. He didn't know what to do.

He knew that he had to tell Ron, but he didn't know what Ron would say. He had no idea why Ron was listening to Parvati over him. It was apparent that he was blinded by love, and he couldn't do anything about that. That bugged Harry as well. His friends seemed to spiraling out of control, and he had no idea how to fix anything. He was Harry Potter, he could fix everything. Maybe that's why this bothered him so much.

Harry went up to the dorm room where he found Ron. Neville was in there, too, and they were playing Wizard's Chess.

"Neville, could I talk to Ron alone for a minute?" he asked.

Neville looked at Ron, then back at Harry. "All right," he said. He got up and left.

Harry went over and sat next to Ron, who avoided Harry's eyes at all costs.

"What do you want?" he snarled.

"Ron, you're aware you're being a selfish git, right?"

"Right, is that all?"

"No, that's not all. Do you know what you're doing to Hermione?"

Ron shook his head. "Making her mad because I'm not taking anymore of her bullshit?"

"You're forcing her to hurt herself! You honestly have no idea, do you? Are you that thick? Ron, listen. Because of what you're doing she's basically going overboard. She's cutting herself, forcing herself to throw up, drinking, smoking, partying..." Harry took a big breath before saying, "Having sex with Draco."

Ron's eyes got wide and he stood up. "WHAT?!"

Harry nodded. "That was my reaction."

Ron looked like he could kill Harry. "You've got guts, you know that?"

Harry furrowed his brow in confusion. "Wait, what?"

"I know what this is about. Me the git? I think you should look in the mirror, Harry!"

"Ron, what are you talking about?"

"You're lying!"

"WHAT?!"

"Hermione's not really doing those things to herself! Come on, I'm not that much of an idiot. Hermione's not that stupid. You and her are probably just more mad about me dating Parvati than I thought, and you came up with this whole elaborate story as to try and convince me to stop. You know, you almost had me going for a minute until you brought in her having sex with Draco. Then I knew it was a lie."

"Ron, I'm not lying."

"Don't try to defend yourself, Harry. In a weird way, I find your lies oddly comforting. It makes me feel good actually to know that I have friends who are willing to come up with extremely long lies in order to make sure I'm all right because they don't like the girl I'm with. Or is it that you're jealous?"

"Jealous?"

"Yeah. I don't know I'm in a bit of a rut here. You always get the girl. You always get the fame and the glory and the fans. And now I'm happy. I'm finally happy and I don't think that you can cope with that very will."

"Ron, that's ridiculous."

"Is it? Are you sure? Because I don't think so."

Harry felt his anger rising up in him. "Ron, I'm serious about this. She could really hurt herself."

Ron used a mocking voice to say, "Oh, poor Hermione! She feels so depressed! She might actually hurt herself!" He went back to his normal voice and said, "Harry, it's all right. I know you're lying. You've probably lied to me about a lot of things. I guess I'm just going to have to deal with it for the rest of our lives."

Before he could even think to stop himself, Harry got up and punched Ron in the face.

"You're a fucking git," he spat, leaving the dorm.

Harry walked down the stairs in an utter rage. How could Ron be so stupid at a time like this? Why the hell would he think Harry would lie about something like that? He knew it wasn't something you just messed around with.

Even if Ron didn't care, Harry did. He had to find a way to solve this problem before it became even further out of hand.

--

Hermione visited Marla that night. Marla had some things for her... some pills that she said would make Hermione feel on top of the world.

Why am I letting myself do this?

Hermione didn't know exactly what to feel. She had taken those pills of Tylenol, yeah, but those had just made her tired. Now Marla had pills and she didn't even know what kind of pills or anything. Marla said something about Valium and Vicodin, but she wasn't exactly sure if she'd heard that right.

Hermione crept down the hall, hoping she didn't run into filch or Snape or anyone that could give her any trouble. She wondered if Harry had told Ron yet, and she also wondered if he even cared...

She found Marla waiting for her next to the Great Hall, two bags in her hands.

"Took you long enough," she whispered. "I've had to avoid Filch three times already, and I almost had to kill Mrs. Norris."

"Sorry," Hermione whispered back. "I was trying to get out of the Common Room without being asked any questions."

"Stupid Gryffindors. They never allow anyone to just go out and have fun."

"Tell me about it."

Marla held out the bags and Hermione took them.

"Now listen," Marla said. "Don't go overdosing or anything. These pills are powerful, and since you've never done it before I'd say take two or three, maybe four at the max. If you take too many too fast then you'll probably end up dying."

"Wouldn't be that much of a problem," Hermione muttered.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. Sorry. Just babbling to myself. Three or four?"

"I'd just say three. Do you want to do it with me the first time just to make sure you don't end up killing yourself?"

No. Let me die.

"Uh, yeah. Sure. That would be great."

Hermione opened the bag and Marla took it from her. She took out about six pills, gave three to Hermione, and took three for herself. She put her hand back in and pulled out two more, giving her five and Hermione three. Marla just put them all in her mouth and swallowed, but Hermione just stared at her for a minute, seeing what would happen. When nothing did, Hermione put the pills in her mouth and swallowed.

Nothing. She didn't feel any different at all.

"Why don't I feel anything?"

"What, did you expect it to work instantly? The pills have to travel through your body first, they don't just automatically make you high. Geez, you are uncultured."

Hermione stood there for a minute or two, waiting for the pills to start affecting her system. It took about twenty minutes, but after those twenty minutes had passed, Hermione started to feel a little woozy and went and sat down on the stairs, grabbing her head.

"You all right there, Herms?" asked Marla.

Hermione started to laugh. "I'm fine... I just feel all woozy."

"Yeah, the pills have started to kick in." Marla handed her the bags back. "Listen, I have to get going, but remember to be careful with those things, all right? I don't want to hear about some dead girl from Hogwarts overdosing on drugs."

***

The next day rolled around and Hermione waited. She waited for Ron to come and scream at her, she waited for him to attempt to rescue her. That's all she wanted. She just wanted to be saved.

She popped in a few more pills as she sat by the fire. She was ditching class that day. She was sure Ron would notice if she started to ditch class. She never did something like that...

But he never came. She waited and waited and waited, but he never came...

Hermione felt her eyes well up again.

Harry doesn't care.

She through the nearest thing she could find, a tray full of food, into the fire as hard as she could. It broke and food splattered everywhere. She overturned her chair in anger. She thought of anything she could do to just sit here and break anything that got in her way.

She screamed and through a book at the portrait hole. She punched a wall and her fist went right through it.

Ron won't come to save you.

She ran up the stairs and into her room, packing her things as she went. She was going to leave. She was going to get the hell out of here because this place wasn't even worth it anymore.

She was going to leave here, but she didn't know if she was ever going to make it home.

Draco doesn't love you.

She never thought for one moment that those words could make her so mad. She packed quicker, and when she went back down to the Common Room she found Harry there, waiting for her. He looked confused as he saw her trunk.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm getting the hell out of here, that's where I'm going," she snapped, attempting to walk past him.

Harry pulled out his wand. "Wingardium Leviosa."

Hermione's trunk flew out of her hand and she pulled out her wand, but Harry was too quick for her again.

"Expelliarmus!"

Her wand flew out of her hand this time as well.

"Harry, what are you doing?" she asked angrily.

"For six years I've been one of your best friends. Do you really think I'm just going to let you walk out that door right now over something so stupid?"

Hermione felt her anger rise up a little more. She always had wondered if anger and frustration could be made into a potion...

Get the hell away from me.

"You can't stop me, Harry. I'll leave right now with or without my things."

"Why?"

"Where's Ron, Harry? Why hasn't he come to save me yet?"

Harry looked down. "Because Parvati has him under her wing."

The words hit Hermione hard, even though she had come to expect them.

"Exactly," she whispered. "He cares too much about her to care about me anymore. And he's the only one I ever wanted to care. Now, Harry, please give me my things so I can get out of here."

"Hermione, no," Harry said firmly.

"Harry -"

But Harry didn't let her speak.

"You know, Hermione, you talk about Ron a lot. Ron this, Ron that, 'I wish Ron cared.' What about me? You know, I've already told you I've been one of your best friends for six years now. What if I want you to care if I care? Did you ever think of that? What if I feel for you the way you feel for Ron? What if I'm going through the exact same pain that you are? The person you love the most is the person who won't even open their eyes and realize that you exist. The only problem is, I know you're meant to be with Ron, and guess what? He knows it too. This whole Parvati thing is just a stupid school fling that will be over before you know it. So before you walk out that door, you better buck up and talk to Ron yourself."

They stood there for a moment, staring at each other. Hermione felt herself to calm down a little as if a cold liquid was coming down her sides.

"You love me?" she whispered.

Harry looked taken aback. "Yeah," he said stupidly. "I do."

Hermione nodded slowly, looking down at the floor.

"Harry, I'm really sorry, but I have to go. Please, give me my things. I promise you I will no longer do anything stupid. I just need out of here."

They stared at each other for another long moment, and Harry finally gave up and let Hermione have her stuff back.

"Thank you," she whispered.

She exited the portrait hole and went down towards the Entrance Hall. She didn't realize that it was dinner time now and people started to notice.

And then there he was.

Draco Malfoy. Strutting his stuff through the school like he always did.

"Oh, look everyone," he sneered. "Granger can't handle things anymore. She's going home. I guess I was too much for her to handle in the sack."

Everyone around them gasped. Hermione felt her cheeks turning red and looked around.

This is it