Rescue Me

Chapter One: Scars

You come to me with scars on your wrist

You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this

I just came to say goodbye

I didn't want you to see me cry

I'm fine

But I know it's a lie

This is the last night you'll spend alone

Look me in the eyes so I know you know

I'm everywhere you want me to be

The last night you'll spend alone

I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go

I'm everything you need me to be

-lyrics from "The Last Night" by Skillet

Hermione rolled over in her bed, tears falling down her face again. She was so sick and so tired of everyone expecting her to be perfect. She felt like hitting her pillow over and over again, trying to take away the anguish.

She sniffled and sat up, wiping her tears. She went downstairs in the Common Room, pulled up a chair, and pulled the dagger out from beneath it.

She stared into the fire. This was her nightly ritual. She would cry and cry and cry until she felt like she couldn't live anymore, wait until everyone went to sleep, sneak into the Common Room, pull out the dagger, and cut until the pain went away.

Pain feels good...

She hated the way she felt most of the time. She'd try to bring it up with Parvati and Lavender sometimes, because she thought they might help since they were girls, but they never did.

I can't take it anymore...

Hermione put the dagger on her wrist. It was cold. She shivered and started to cry a little harder as the blade dug into her skin. She winced as she watched her blood fall onto the mantelpiece. She always did it over the fire so there would be no trace that she had ever been there.

I'm falling inside the black...

The pain swept up over Hermione, somehow making her feel better. She cut herself again, this time feeling a little bit better.

It was odd how the pain worked. She always thought that pain wouldn't make the person feel better, make them suffer.

But the pain always felt good. Not at first, but after she made a few cuts it always made her feel better.

I hate the way I feel...

Hermione looked at her arms. She was surprised that no one had noticed. She had almost run out of room on her arms, and she knew soon she'd have to move on... Somewhere to her hips, maybe, or maybe on her stomach...

She winced at the thought and let the tears flow.

How did I let this happen to me?

She had always been happy. Nothing had ever bothered her. She was perfectly fine.

Until sixth year.

Her sixth year, everything changed. She didn't know how to handle anything anymore.

She had convinced Harry to come back to Hogwarts this semester. She knew it was safe here, especially under the care of McGonagall.

Hermione switched hands and put the dagger on her other wrist. This arm wasn't as bad, because she wasn't left-handed and she found it uncomfortable to cut that way.

Why doesn't anybody care?

At that menacing thought, she gave herself one, good slit and watched her blood bleed down her arms, trickling onto the mantelpiece.

I'm a good person...

Thoughts always ran through her head. Thoughts of her talents, thoughts of her wisdom... She had always thought that she wouldn't be one of those emotional, suicidal girls, but somehow she changed.

It was her love for Ron that did it. She was absolutely head-over-heels about him, and she knew that he barely even noticed her in that sort of way. After the stress of sixth year, that was what had sent her over the edge.

She started over the summer. One time her parents caught her, and it hurt her even more when they told her that she would be fine, and once she got back to Hogwarts she wouldn't even think about it anymore.

How the fuck could they be so careless? Obviously they had never dealt with that sort of a situation, and they were in denial and didn't care to worry about her.

Hermione pulled out a tissue and wiped off the blood from the dagger, putting it back under the chair. No one ever moved the chairs around, and even if they found the dagger, they could never trace it back to her.

She held the tissue onto her wrists to stop the bleeding. When it was finished enough, she pulled her sleeves back down and went up to her room.

As she was ascending the stairs, she ran into Ron and the pain at seeing him shot up her body.

"Hey," he said groggily. "What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep," she whispered, hoping he didn't notice her tears.

"Why? What's up?"

"I... I was just thinking, that's all."

"Oh, all right. Well, goodnight then."

"Goodnight."

He walked down past her and she went up the stairs as he went down. She turned and watched him leave the Common Room. He was probably going to the bathroom or something.

She went back to her dorm and laid down again. Parvati was snoring again. She sighed and looked at her arms and began to cry again.

Will somebody please help me?

Author's Notes:

Sorry that was sort of emo, but it sort of stays that way... But I hope you liked it, and I'd like to hear what you think so review!