Slytherin Ambivalence

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I was born into the powerful Parkinson family on a dreary Tuesday morning. For the first few hours of my life I believe that my mother and father fawned over me like loving parents. It was the only time that I would know their love.

After that day, it became my sister´s responsibility to teach me the ways of the world. She was my mother in all aspects of the word. She was always there to pick me up when I fell, and she, not my parents, taught me all the things I would need to know as a young witch. The exact way to swish and flick the wrist to get the charms right, proper pronunciations of the harder spells, and what to expect of the professors. We spent every waking moment together, laughing, joking, and playing, but always together. She was my whole world and I thought we would be together forever. But it was not to be, for one summer her letter arrived while we were eating breakfast, and she tore it open with feverish hands. As was expected, being a member of the Parkinson family, she was accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and would soon be embarking on her first journey. She was excited and her happiness washed over me in waves, leading, me to forget that I would be virtually alone for the next six years.

When the day came for her to leave, I accompanied her to the station platform to see her off. She hugged me, kissed me on the cheek, and told me not to cry as it was very unladylike. I hid my tears for her benefit and put on a happy front. She would return to me in a year, I told myself, and the summer would hold new and exciting things for us. I waved as the train pulled away from the station.

The next year passed uneventfully, with little contact from anyone except the Malfoy´s son Draco. He was my only confidante. We spent more and more time together, which pleased our parents a great deal. Both were old fashioned and believed in arranged marriages, though thankfully, they hadn´t pawned me off on his family yet. But even Draco´s company couldn´t keep me from withdrawing form the world. I became insolent and my parents disliked me even more.

I wasn´t the only one who had changed. When my sister returned home from her first year at Hogwarts she was like a different person. She had been sorted into Slytherin, a house known for their pride in pureblood witches and wizards. But unlike the rest of the house, my sister saw nothing wrong with non-purebloods and Muggles. We had been taught since we were very small that these Muggles, Mudbloods and Squibs were lower life forms. I couldn´t comprehend how she could say "they can´t be that bad." They were inferior to us! Plus, she knew our parents and where their allegiance lay. They were Death Eaters, two of Lord Voldemort´s most respected followers. Both had hoped that we would follow in their footsteps, becoming Death Eaters and joining the ranks of the most powerful dark wizard the world had ever seen.

As soon as they heard her loudly voicing her new opinions, our parents started to phase her out. Taking away her inheritance and the family name as soon as she graduated. She didn´t mind because she didn´t want a part in this particular life. Soon, my parents began speaking to me on a more regular basis and would often ask me uncomfortable questions about my feelings towards Mudbloods. Of course, I hated Mudbloods, but I didn´t want to give my parents the satisfaction of knowing that I agreed with them. My sister saw this hatred and tried to convince me of her beliefs. I brushed her off, and for the rest of the summer we rarely spoke and uttered no more then ten words to each other. When the summer ended and she left for her next year of school, I shed no tears and didn´t even look twice as she walked out the door. As far as I was concerned she had walked out on me the previous year. Once she was gone, I was free to hate in peace. I could hate anyone I wanted because I believed in the words my parents had taught me. Voldemort would rise again.

Five years later when my letter arrived by owl, I was ready. Or so I thought....