Ache No More

Ache No More

Author: Sky Samuelle

Disclaimer: I own this story, nothing more, nothing less.

Summary : Sometimes Lily still felt herself reaching out for Severus.

May 24^th, 1980

"So Harry is perfect...but if it's a girl--"

"--which is unlikely--"

"--but if it is, no flowery names."

"Right. What you'll need is a short name, not something pretentious like, let's say--"

"We wouldn't call my daughter something like your harpy of a mother's name!"

"Thank you; I trusted your judgment at least that much. I was saying...something short but not smutty."

"Damn right. No Louisas--"

"I knew one Louisa, she was rather--"

"--busy under the table two seconds after you met her? "

A booming laugh exploded in the living room, forcing Lily to bite the inside of her cheek to not give herself away. It wasn't exactly simple for a seven-month-pregnant woman to pretend to be asleep on the couch while her husband and his best friend clandestinely discussed baby names in her hearing, but her efforts were entirely rewarded. This was possibly one of the most absurd, random conversations in the history of the English language. Maybe she should have been bothered that James was broaching the matter with one very unserious Sirius Black before even voicing his suggestions to his very patient wife, but...she simply wasn't.

She wasn't even surprised, to be completely honest, because it wasn't the first time her rascal of a husband had felt more at ease confiding in his faithful pet instead of coming to her with a problem. She supposed it came naturally; Sirius and James went back a long way, long before she had begun to consider them as more than just a pair of brainless bullies. Sirius knew and understood parts of James that Lily probably ignored, no matter how in love she was with him.

She wouldn't want it any other way.

Even when the closeness between the two leading Marauders seemed to exclude her she had never been jealous, nor had she ever felt like it diminished their marriage. She understood how it was, after all, having a friend who was at your side every step of the way, guiding you and laughing with you, screaming with you when you were angry, cheering you up when you were sad, and forgiving you when you were too witty for your own good. Seeing everything about you and letting you know you were loved and accepted.

Lily understood because she remembered how easy life felt when you were a child and the whole world revolved around you and your best friend. You thought the sun shone out of his scrawny ass and you were sure it would never change, even when you were old, petulant, and wrinkled. She understood because when she had first learnt she was pregnant, her first irrational impulse was to run to Severus to beg him for any form of confirmation that she wouldn't make a horrible mother...then she remembered that they had not shared a polite conversation in a long time.

Funny how maturity takes away things you used to take for granted and gives back others you never expected. Self-consciously her fingers lingered on her no longer flat stomach in a protective, tender caress.

Yet, it was never the same again.

She loved James in every way a woman could love a man, but...he was like the sun: stand too close and you either get overwhelmed or burnt. Sometimes she thought she would never have come to terms with the rougher edges of his personality if she had not been completely and utterly in love with him.

But loving Severus Snape - the child he had been, anyway - used to come unconditionally and impulsively. It felt fully natural, almost the same way it felt today, natural and innocent love like that she had for the child that was slowly growing inside her. Because in some sense, Severus had been part of her -a deep, central part which tore out when he became cold and inexplicably alien. She was glad this was a loss James didn't have to face, especially in a time of war, even if it did mean having an unexpected guest storming in and out her house whenever he pleased.

"Lily? Have we awakened you?" James' voice came suddenly from off to her right.

"Mmh?"

"Your favourite stag is asking if you're awake, which you most evidently are not," a second male said in a sing-song voice, soft and low, on her left.

Lily Potter slowly opened her green eyes, smiling. "But I am, Padfoot. I'm awake."