The Lovers Scorned Kiss Curse

Chapter Five ____ Give It Time

Ron didn't understand why he was being ordered by everyone to stay away from Hermione. He wasn't allowed to go into the hospital room to see her, and when she got out, he still was not permitted to speak to her. If they thought they could tell him something like that and expect him to follow it without any explanation they were insane. He was only told that it would be incredibly harmful for Hermione if Ron forced himself in her life; a concept he couldn't quite grasp or believe. Even if he tried to speak to her, he knew he wouldn't be allowed with Harry and Ginny making it their mission to keep Hermione away from him. For days, once she got out of the hospital, it was like this; Ron forced to ignore Hermione and pretend like he didn't know her. He noticed she did the same, only she was much better at acting like he didn't exist. Finally, after a week's worth of silence, Ron cornered Harry alone and forced him to talk. Since Hermione had told her secret, Harry was free to speak; still, it didn't make delivering the news any easier. Ron looked like an invisible hand was hammering down on him with every word Harry spoke.

"How could you not tell me?!" He was furious. Hot tears burned his eyes.

"I wanted to tell you-- I tried, but she did a spell to prevent me from speaking about it, you know how clever she is. But I told her over and over to tell you. I think she wanted to but the curse made her act so mad about things."

"You should have let me see her before she went and Obliterated her mind of me. I never had a chance. I never had a chance to tell her."

"It was her choice. She knew it was the only way. The curse was killing her and she knew it. You didn't see her--"

"That's right! Don't you get it? I could have saved her. I was the only one who could have saved her and everyone stacked against me...some friends you are."

"Ron, you're talking like she died. Hermione's okay. She's doing so much better now. This is just the way it is now. You're going to have to accept it. If you care about her, you'll let her go. There's no other way."

"If I care about her?! I. Love. Her! And now...she doesn't even know me. If she sees me, she just walks by like I'm any other faceless student. I thought she was just really angry with me for abandoning her like that, but this-- she's not okay. It's unforgiveable what you guys did to her. How many memories is she missing now? Is she even the same person?"

"She's missing a lot of memories because so many were tied to you, but she still has a future to look forward to, something that might not be true if McGonagall didn't do what she did. She's still Hermione, just a little bit foggier. It would have been more unforgivable to just let her die and take whatever chance she has away."

"It isn't fair. I wish McGonagall would Obliterate my mind too, so I didn't have to know all this-- carry it around."

"It'll get easier. You'll--," Harry started.

"I'll what? Move on? Forget about her? Do you think I'll forget what I did to her all those months, torturing her, making her sick?"

"You didn't know. It isn't your fault. She doesn't know any of that happened and she can't know. If she remembers the curse will return."

"It would be different. I wouldn't hurt her. I wouldn't leave her."

"You can't be sure. I know you care about her, but you can't know how you will feel later on. If you made her remember only to break her heart later, could you live with yourself if something happened?"

"This isn't some crush I have on some random Veela, Harry. She's the only one for me. I feel like I'll die without her. Maybe the curse is rubbing off on me, too."

"Just give it time. Let her be for now."

*** *** ***

So the months carried on and the end of the year was upon them. Harry worried that his friendships between Ron and Hermione were weakening because he had to split his time between them. He was also spending as much time with Ginny as he could and felt guilty for neglecting them both. Hermione was less confused nowadays-- accepting that there were a lot of things she would never get back-- and she was still at the top of their class. But she grew frustrated a lot, like there were all these thoughts in her mind that were just on the other side of some wall and she couldn't get to them. She wondered why she always seemed to have dreams involving that quiet moody red-headed boy in her house. She didn't think he liked her much, always avoiding her and giving her one word responses if any at all. He hung out with Harry a lot, but never when he was around her. She wished she could remember all the missing parts, but was just thankful everyone was very patient with her. All Hermione knew was she was in a terrible flying accident and it caused her to lose a lot of her memory. She thought it was odd that she had a flying accident, seeing as she hated to fly, but then that was probably why she had the accident in the first place, or why she now hated flying.

One day, making her way to the library, turning a corner, she ran straight into the redheaded boy, her head colliding with his chest.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention," said Hermione nervously. She hoped he couldn't hear her heart pounding out of her chest.

"My fault." Ron nodded and began to walk away.

"Where are you off to?"

"Quidditch practice. We have one more game left."

Hermione thought this might be the longest conversation they had ever had. "You're the keeper, right? I've seen you play. You're very good." She smiled shyly, but noticed Ron was frowning and not looking directly at her. It was killing her that he wouldn't look her in the eyes. He had the most intense, piercing blue eyes and she needed to see them now. Sometimes, she could swear she felt his intense gaze on her when she wasn't looking, but it was only a feeling.

"Er-- thanks," he replied awkwardly. He looked like he was in pain.

"I'm sorry if I'm keeping you, it's just this is the most you've ever talked to me. We're both one of Harry's best friends and yet we never speak, don't you think that's strange?"

"Well, you're in the library a lot. We just have different interests, I guess."

"It isn't because you don't like me?" She had a nervous laugh as she asked. He looked at her now, straight in the eye, his cool blue eyes looked devastatingly gorgeous.

"I don't hate you." He opened his mouth to say something else, but nothing came out.

"I know this might sound weird, but sometimes, more than sometimes, I get this feeling when I'm around you, like...Oh, I don't know... it's like...I miss you...Does that make sense?"

Ron's heart felt like it was being ripped out of his chest. He wanted so desperately to tell her everything and grab her in his arms, make her remember, but the words of Harry, Ginny, and even McGonagall flooded his mind.

"I feel very close to you...like we have this bond..." She laughed again and blushed. "That sounds silly, doesn't it? And now I'm totally making you feel uncomfortable, aren't I? I'm sorry. I'll go." She tried to laugh in order to sound less distressed and embarrassed.

"No, wait," Ron said quickly and grabbed onto her wrist. Ron had spent every night, since he found out the truth, thinking of this moment and what he would do. He knew his love for Hermione was a forever kind of love and that was exactly what he wanted with her if he ever got the chance again. "Don't go."

Hermione caught her breath, the walls in her mind shuddering.

"I miss you, too," said Ron softly, pulling her close and whispering in her ear.

"I don't understand." Her voice trembled and she gazed up at his face for clarity. He took her face in his hands, debating the moment. Her eyes stared into his intensely as she waited.

"You don't remember because you chose to forget. You had to in order to save yourself from what it was doing to you."

"You're not making any sense. I had an accident. I fell off a broom."

"That's just the story they had to tell you, so you wouldn't be suspicious."

"They?"

"Harry, Ginny, McGonagall, Dumbledore, everyone."

"You?"

"It was supposed to be for the best; to keep you safe."

"You lied to me...You all lied to me?"

"I didn't want to do it, but I was afraid of really losing you. I couldn't take it if something happened to you, Hermione...I wish you remembered me. I wish you knew." He stroked her face with his hand, brushing away the fresh fallen tears, his own eyes brimming over.

"Why are you crying?" she asked oddly. "What am I suppose to remember?"

His voice was a soft whisper as he said, "Remember me. Remember us."

She searched her mind, but all she could remember was the Ron she knew since her accident or the Ron of her dreams. She searched his eyes for answer, frustrated with herself.

"Were we together?"

"...No-- not exactly. But--"

"Did you want to be with me?" she asked. It was all she could manage.

"More than you'll ever know."

"Why don't you tell me now?"

Ron thought for a moment, studying her face, trying to think of the right thing to say, or where to begin. The realness of the moment was sinking in and he suddenly felt much older than sixteen, standing there with Hermione, an invisible wall between them, that he had to get through. He took both her hands in his as he began. "I love you, Hermione. I love you so much I feel all wrong when I'm not around you. I can't image my life without you in it. I would do anything to keep you safe, anything to make you happy, and anything to make you mine; if I could just make you remember." He finished by kissing both her hands, adoringly. He never thought he was very good at showing his feelings, or being romantic, but the recent overwhelming events, the maddening separation from the only girl in his heart, made expressing his true passions for her come as easily and naturally as breathing.

"So make me remember," she told him and grabbed his face in her hands, pulling it closer to her. Ron wrapped his arms around her firmly and slowly leaned in the rest of the way until his lips touched hers. Ever so lightly his lips traced over hers. He pulled back slowly and gazed into her eyes. She looked nervous, but in a good way. He pressed his lips to hers again, this time the kiss was not so gently. His lips crushed against hers and moved hungrily. Hermione's response was just as intense and full of need. He lifted her up into his arms, not breaking the kiss, holding her to him. When they finally broke the kiss off, they were both breathing hard. Ron looked at her anxiously, not sure what to expect. The longer she stood there, not saying anything, the more uncertain Ron became.

"It's okay if you don't remember. That was sort of the point. Don't feel bad, I mean, if you're worried about hurting me." He spoke quickly but he tried to keep his voice even, even though he was coming undone on the inside.

"Shh--Just give me a second," she shushed, while silencing him with her hand at the same time. She turned and paced a few steps, stopped and looked up at him, then resumed pacing. This went on for a few minutes before Ron couldn't handle it anymore.

"Oh, Bloody Hell, Hermione, do you remember anything? Say something!" he yelled, exasperated.

"Hold on a minute. There's something there. Ugh-- I can't see it though," Hermione sighed, frustrated.

"Just take it slow. Don't rush it." He turned to face her, patient once more, and took her hands in his to calm her. "What do you remember? Do you see any familiar faces or any place in particular?"

"No, it's just darkness, but there's something...oh!" Her face lit up as something clicked.

"What?"

"I remember you, your voice in the hospital, in the darkness. I remember you." She closed her eyes tightly, trying to pull the memory from her mind. She could once again feel the firmness of the hospital bed and being tightly bound beneath the sheets. A warm strong hand clasped around her as a heavenly voice floated into her mind, fighting against the darkness. "You told me I wasn't allowed to leave you. You said if I didn't wake up soon, you would challenge Viktor to a duel for my heart and then I'd be sorry when I had to see how terribly he pummeled you," she smiled.

"That's when I thought I had to vie for your attention. Can you believe I ever thought you might like a mindless oaf like Krum?" He was teasing her now.

"How can I love such a fool?" she asked, smiling.

"So, you do love me?" Under his light smile there was an intensity burning deep, "Even if you don't remember everything?"

"I remember how I feel..." Ron was elated to hear her tell him that even though she was under the memory charm, she still was able to hold onto her feelings for him. It gave him hope and he tried to think of what to do to help her remember everything. He couldn't let this moment slip away.

"The first time I met you," he paused and gave her a once over, "I thought you were the bossiest, most conceited, goodie two-shoes, know-it-all, I had ever met. I found you oddly annoying, much more than other girls I'd ever known before," he smiled and kissed her forehead before continuing, "Which may have had something to do with the way my heart seemed to annoyingly speed up when you were around. Then you had to go and almost get crushed by that troll, and to top it all off, you stood up for Harry and me when we were going to get in trouble for the whole mess. It was all over after that; we were stuck with you." He wrapped her in his arms and he talked into her ear, resting his chin on her shoulder, as she stared out the tower window trying to grab a hold of what Ron was telling her.

"Of course I was right about the know-it-all thing, but what would we have done without it? We probably would have been chop-liver for that three-headed dog years ago. I don't think I ever appreciated enough the brilliance of that amazing mind of yours. And you proved me wrong, time and again, about the goodie-two-shoes thing, though let's face it, you always did have more of a moral conscience than us...Tell me you remember SPEW?" he laughed, wanting to make her smile.

"I wish I could tell you the first instant I knew how I felt about you, but I'm still not really sure. It happened so gradually. You were always one of the most important and constant people in my life since our first year here. We went through so much together, the three of us, I guess I was afraid of rocking the boat...oh, who am I kidding? I never thought you'd take me. I thought you would never see me that way, I mean who was I? And even if I had gotten, under some fantastical circumstance, the chance to be with you, I was sure I'd blow it immediately. I was always making a mess of things. I can tell you this year has been nothing but torture," he blushed, realizing his blunder; she had endured more torture, he thought, than he would ever know.

She seemed to sense his apprehension, saying, "You don't give yourself enough credit, you know." Suddenly her face got scrunched up, reminding Ron of when she was trying to decipher a very tricky Arithmancy Chart.

"Chess," she stated abruptly. Ron looked at her strangely. "On the chess board, you scarified yourself so we could get through. Your knight got pulverized. You did it without giving it a second thought; without concern for yourself. And I never looked at you quite the same after that."

"You--"

"Malfoy called me a mudblood and you stood up for me...you ate slugs," she said, her eyebrows rising. "I was happy--taken aback-- that it was you-- the gallantry, not the slugs." She wasn't done yet. "I remember the first time I went to the Burrow-- there was so much warmth there. I felt like I was home. The first time you really hugged me; do you remember? This last summer when I returned to the Burrow before school began. It was the first time we saw each other since we were ambushed at the Department of Mysteries, aside from my half conscious state at St. Mungo's. You were alone in your room when I came in."

"I remember," he told her with a fever in his voice.

"Usually, we would say an awkward hello and move on, but that time, it was different, without thinking you rushed toward me and swooped me up into your arms. I tried to control my surprise and the thrill shooting through me. I had never felt anything like it--"

"I didn't realize how much I missed you till I saw you standing there. I'm sure if Fred or George had been anywhere near I would never have risked it," he mused a second, then grasping the moment added, "do you remember anything else?" He absentmindedly played with her hair as he spoke.

"I remember it all--I think--every moment I lost. I was trying to picture what you were telling me; the troll, and the three-headed dog, and then you said the thing about feeling tortured and the chess game just popped into my head," she said in a low whisper, Ron found incredibly freeing.

"Go on, ask me something," she encouraged him, excitedly.

They stayed up there, alone, for a long while, not in any hurry to go back to crowded space of the common room, plus Ron was pretty sure he was in for some serious lectures for disobeying orders. He couldn't help it; there was no way he could stay away from her forever, especially when she wouldn't let him. Eventually, they realized they had to go back. They debated keeping them a secret, but thought better of it; secrets had gotten them in enough trouble. Ron held her hand, gave her a steady look and then led her into the room. Before entering he leaned over and gave her a reassuring kiss. Everyone had been told something of Hermione's condition, but they didn't know much, but most people knew Ron was not supposed to be around her, much less holding her hand. They received a lot of shocked stares and a perfectly timed, collective gasp. To Ron's surprise, Harry didn't say anything critical about them.

"I can't say I'm not a bit nervous, but I had a feeling this would happen, eventually," Harry told them calmly. Ginny was another story. She yelled at Ron, calling him a few offensive terms before conceding, and that was the end of it, at least for the night. McGonagall was another story the next day, taking them both in her office and lecturing them. They were too happy to be phased by her warnings. It would be different for them, they thought, because they truly were in love.