There's Always James

~~~

James Potter and I became Head Boy and Head Girl. I've never seen James so proud of himself. His warm blue eyes shone, and his face flushed with pleasure.

Where as I was deeply honored, but somewhat ashamed. Would the other students still like me now that I was an authority figure? I wondered as my gaze swept over the Great Hall. My eyes settled on a calm, charming boy with pale brown hair and shining amber eyes.

Would he still like me?

Remus J. Lupin entered Hogwarts gentle as a breeze, but stormed my heart like a hurricane.

He quickly became friends with Sirius Black and James Potter, balancing the hot-headed duo with his mild and gentle ways.

Those mild and gentle ways almost made it impossible for me to believe that Remus was a werewolf. How could he be? Werewolves were viscous and terrifying creatures! Not a thing like sweet, charming Remus.

Circumstantially, finding out about Remus being a werewolf brought me closer to the Marauders.

I was a fifth year when I found out. While researching a Potions paper( The ten most Potent Potions and why) I overheard the boys whispering excitedly.

" You mean Peter can actually transform?!" That was Sirius.

" Yes! We've finally done it!" James practically shouted with delight. There were hurried 'shhhhh's' and a resounding smack. " Sorry"

I almost giggled at the meekness in James voice.

" What a group we'll be!" That was Peter I do believe. " Me a rat, Sirius a dog, James a stag, and Remus the werewolf!"

I gasped loudly, mentally slapped myself, and clamped my hands over my mouth. Four very startled Marauders popped into view, and stared at me in shock.

" Lily!" James gasped.

" What're you doing here?!" Sirius demanded.

" Did you hear?" Remus whispered.

" Oh no!" Gasped Peter.

"I'm so sorry!" I squeaked. " I didn't mean to listen!" James and Sirius burried their faces in their hands, moaning curses. Peter looked rather frightened, whereas Remus looked profoundly sorrowful.

" I'm sorry, Lily." He said. " I wish you hadn't heard, it's undue pressure that you don't deserve. You can turn us in if you like."

James, Sirius and Peter gaped at Remus like landed fish. I shook my head fiercely

" I wouldn't turn you in. We're friends, right?"

A wide grin spread across Remus's face, making him look extremely handsome.

" Of course"

I quickly became essential to the Marauders and their full moon escapades. When the full moon was near, I racked my brain for every excuse I could think of that would explain their absence. It grew very tiring after a few year. Excuses became weak, and unconvincing, but I managed.

However, the hassles were all worth it. When Remus and the rest showed up the morning after a full moon, tired but smiling, I was there to greet them with smiles and warm words. The returning smiles on Remus's face made every minute worth it.

It wasn't until I was a 7th year and Head Girl that I noticed the looks Remus shot Sirius when he wasn't looking. Quiet longing coupled with deep adoration filled his beautiful amber eyes when he looked at Padfoot. He hid the glances well when he thought no one was looking. But I saw, and it gnawed at my heart.

I began watching Sirius intently, to see if he reciprocated and of Remus's unspoken feelings. At first, it seemed that Sirius was oblivious to his secret admirer. After all, he had plenty admirers all over Hogwarts, why would Remus be any different?

However, Sirius's feeling became clear to me one morning after a full moon. The boys enter the Gryffindor common room with Remus being half carried, and half dragged between James and Sirius.

" What happened?!" I gasped as I saw a dark patch of blood on the right side of Remus's robes. They laid the bleeding boy down on the couch gently before answering me.

" There was a student-stupid git- wandering the grounds. Remus saw him...and ...oh bloody hell, Sirius had to stop him from tearing the kid to pieces." James explained, his voice fraught with frustration and worry.

"Moony, Remus, I'm so sorry!" Sirius whispered desperately, kneeling next to the couch Remus lay on.

" I'm fine, Sirius. Honestly." But he grimaced as he said this, clutching his side painfully. " I'm glad you did it. You stopped me from attacking that kid..."

Sirius squeezed his eyes shut and rested his forehead on Remus's shoulder, clutching at the fabric of the couch.

" Peter, James, get help!" I snapped suddenly realizing it wasn't best to let Remus bleed to death. Wormtail and Prongs hopped to action, racing to the exit.

" We'll go get Madam Pomfrey." James answered, staring at me. I nodded numbly and he and Peter left.

Turning back to Remus, I saw him stroking Sirius's dark hair soothingly, gazing at him with misty eyes. It was oblivious that both of them had forgotten I was there.

I stared blankly, then made my way to the girls dormitories. Choking back tears as I heard stifled sobs coming from Sirius, I ran the rest of the way to my room.

I woke the next morning to find Sirius sitting in the common room, head in hands. James and was at Quidditch practice, and Peter had tagged along. Sirius stood as I entered the room, and we both quietly made our way to the Hospital Wing.

Looking at the grief stricken face of Padfoot, I knew I need to say something, anything.

" Sirius, I love Remus." I kicked myself mentally. Good Lily, way to make him feel better. Sirius looked at me, his brows furrowed.

" I know, he loves you, too."

" No, I mean, I'm in love with him." I whispered. Sirius pulled to a stop staring at me with wide eyes. " But don't worry. I know how you feel about him. The complete grief and fear I saw in your eyes last night was enough to tell me."

" Lil, what..."

" Look, Sirius, I don't think you have realized your own feelings yet." I sighed, smiling sadly at him. "But I'm giving you a chance to get him. I want Remus to be happy with every fiber of my being, and I know he'd be happy with you."

A slow smile spread across Sirius's face, and I couldn't help but smile.

" But you'd better hurry, or I'll snatch him away from you." With that, Padfoot swept me up into a big, brotherly hug. I laughed through my tears. " Besides, there's always James."