Always In My Heart

So lately, I've been wondering - who will be there to take my place?

When I'm gone, you'll need love - to light the shadows on your face.

If a great wave shall fall it - would fall upon us all.

And between the sand and stone - could you make it on your own?

Harry opened his eyes blearily and stretched his scarred arms above his head. When had he fallen asleep?

He hadn't meant to.

He dragged himself out of bed for the last time. He glanced at his aurors robes, but shook his head and pulled on his old Gryffindor robes.

He glanced down at his sleeping wife and tears began to slowly form in his eyes.

He blinked them back furiously. He couldn't lose his focus, not now. Not when the whole world was depending on him.

'Sweetie, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry.' he whispered before dropping a light kiss on her forehead.

He placed the note on his pillow. It was where they had always left each other notes and gifts, since they had first started seeing each other.

He smiled at the soppiness of the whole ritual. She had said that even if they couldn't wake up next to the other, at least there was something of that person next to them.

He sat, lost in his thoughts until she stirred next to him and, muttering a sleeping spell, he stood up.

His eye caught the cot in the corner and he crossed the room. No! he told himself sternly. It is better for him, that I do this. My little James will have a chance to live, because of me.

He smoothed the black tuft of hair growing from his sons head and closed his eyes against the tears battling against his eyelids.

He glanced around the room for the last time before shutting the door with a quiet click behind him.

*Please forgive me, my darling. I couldn't tell you. I didn't want to worry you and you would beg me so hard to stay that I wouldn't be able to refuse. I have to do this, I have to.*

If I could, then I would

I'll go wherever you will go

Way up high, or down low

I'll go wherever you will go.

Sirius was standing in his kitchen, tears were streaking his cheeks and his eyes had regained the haunted look of Azkaban.

'Please Harry, don't go through with this. Dumbledore's a fool. There has to be another way. There has to be. Don't go, please. I can't lose you like I lost James. Please, please. I am begging you. Don't do this.'

Harry looked away and answered as firmly as he could. 'Sirius, take control of yourself. You know there is no other way.'

'Then let me come with you. I'll help. We can go together.'

'Sirius, you can't. I need you to stay here. Look after James and ...' Harry tried to prevent his voice from breaking. He fought with himself and continued. 'and Remus. He won't be able to survive being the last one. You must stay strong for them. For me.'

'Harry...'

'Please, Siri. This is hard enough as it is.'

'...you're only twenty-three years old. Think about what you are doing.'

'I am thinking damn it. I have been thinking about this since I was fourteen. I knew in my heart it would come to this. This in the only way. Don't you think I am scared? Don't you think that I am terrified? I have never felt this scared before. I can't stop shaking. I quiver every time I even think of...what's about to happen, but this is the way it has to be. Dumbledore and I have searched for God knows how long to find another way and all that has happened is that more lives have been lost. Every time I stalled, more died, and I kept thinking "it will be ok, the next book will turn something up" until Seamus died. Then Flitwick, then Draco. Percy and Ginny joined Voldemort for fucks sake. I am the only boy from my year who is on our side and is still alive. Then when Hermione and Bill were killed I knew that I had left it to late. I am already to late to save my best friends lives. I have to try and save the few people who are left.'

And maybe, I'll find out - the way to make it back some day

To watch you to guide you - through the darkest of your days

If a great wave should fall - it will fall upon us all

Well I hope there's someone out there

Who can bring me back to you

'Well you could have at least told people, said goodbye. I only know because I overheard Snape and Albus discussing it.'

'Yes, and that's how it has to be. Twenty or so people reacting like you would make it fifty times harder for me. As it is...'

Harry collapsed to the floor and let the tears course down his face. Tears of regret that his child would never know his father. That the Sirius and Remus would be left alone. Outcasts in the wizarding world.

But he had a job to do.

Harry clambered to his feet. His face set and determined. His eyes were hard. Only his trembling hands betrayed him.

'I have left everyone letters explaining my actions. Yours is in with my will. It's addressed to Snuffles. I will catch Pettigrew first if I can. At least I will be able to do something right for you.'

One last hug from his tearstained god-father. 'You're the only thing I have that's close to a father. Be one for James, if you can. But don't take unnecessary risks. I love you. Good-bye Sirius.'

His heart as heavy as his suddenly lead filled legs, Harry turned and left the room. Sirius watched him fly past the window his beloved Firebolt (how Sirius wished he had never given him the wretched thing that would take him to the end) and a wail of distress from upstairs started him out of his reverie and he ran upstairs to the soon to be widow and child.

Runaway with my heart

Runaway with my hope

Runaway with my love

Harry stood before Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape. Tears glittered in the elder wizard's eyes.

'Are you sure about this Harry? You can always change your mind.'

'He won't. His blasted Gryffindor bravery will see to that. Stupid fool.'

'Thank you sirs. I... I, well please take care of my love and our child. Sirius promised me he would, but...'

'I understand.'

'Look after them all, sir.'

'Good-bye, Harry.'

'Good-bye Professor Dumbledore. Thank you for everything.'

'You're making a mistake Potter, but I won't stop you.'

'Good-bye, Professor.'

Snape's unusually ashen face nodded to him and the Boy Who Lived to Die left the room for one final time.

Harry checked his watch. He had an hour. One hour to live. Panic suddenly set in and he collapsed shaking to the floor, leaning against the gargoyle to Dumbledore's office, reliving the events that had lead to this.

He thought back on the day that he was married. Sirius and Ron standing proudly by his side. The flash of green light that had issued from Ginny's wand at the reception and left Ron dead at his feet. The replica of that light flying from Percy's wand and Draco fell next to Hermione.

The battle that ensued leaving most of the wedding guests dead or injured.

The day that James was born. The same day that the Minister of Magic, Arthur Weasley, was killed by Lucius Malfoy.

The day that Harry arrived at Hermione and Bill Granger-Weasleys flat to find Bill, Hermione and baby Ron dead.

His heart bled for Molly, Charlie and the twins. Their family, torn apart, in ruins.

'Mr Potter!' a sharp, Scottish-accented voice cut through his depressed mind ramblings and he stumbled to his feet.

'Harry? What's wrong? Why are you here?'

'Nothing's wrong Professor McGonagall. The war is going to end in, oh, twenty minutes or so and I have to be there for the big finish. I'll see you later.'

Harry reached into his pocket, to pull out the framed photo of him, Hermione and Ron at graduation. The photo-portkey transported him directly to the graveyard, where Voldemort had taken his blood nine years ago.

He turned to face his red-eyed adversary. His wand held firmly, unshaking in front of him.

He allowed his mind one last mental glance at what might have been and was filled with sudden peace. He raised his wand and without saying a word obliterated the Lord of Darkness.

Energy pulsated from him, draining him as he fought to ensure the destruction of the evil soul before him. He collapsed as the curse ended. All his energy gone as he struggled to breathe for the last time.

Out of the corner he saw his wife and Sirius running, sobbing towards him. They bent over him and he tried to touch her, but was to weak. He looked from one to the other and with his last strength he whispered his final comprehension.

'I'll always be with you.'

I know now, just quite how

My life and love might still go on

In your heart and your mind

I'll stay with you for all of time

He was surrounded by white light and floated upwards towards the smiling faces of his best friends and Lily and James Potter.

One last glance down at his godfather and wife, sobbing out their hearts, cradling his lifeless body in their arms.