He's That Girl

"Ugh!" Lily Evans exclaimed, pounding her Transfiguration homework with her fist for the millionth time that evening. "I am never going to get this!"

"Why don't you just get James to help you?" Katrina Bell said absentmindedly, finishing her essay for History of Magic with a flourish. Then, almost instinctively, her hands flew to her ears to cover the bellowing voice.

"Get JAMES to help me? What will that freak do other than try to curse me or something?"

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry for the idea, Lil. But you could use his help. He is the best in the class, you know." She glanced up and noticed Lily glowering. "On second thought, just ignore me."

Lily 'humphed' and turned back to her homework. "Does McGonagall *expect* me to be the best at everything?"

"No, she doesn't. And I definitely don't either. I mean, just look at yourself!" Lily looked up and saw James Potter coming down the boys' staircase, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin behind him laughing. She glared. Suddenly, a thought came to her.

"James," Lily said full of fake sweetness, "would you like to help me with my Transfiguration homework? I'm most dreadful at it, and you're the best in the class..."

"Me, help YOU with your homework? Are you out of your MIND?"

Sirius and Remus stared at James. If they had been in his place, they would have gladly accepted the girl's offer. Lily was the prettiest girl in their year, and something was obviously between her and James.

James walked quickly towards the portrait hole and climbed out, muttering something about visiting Peter Pettigrew in the hospital wing. Remus and Sirius followed, sort of reluctantly, eyes still on Lily. Lily and Katrina  looked away, at the fire. They missed seeing Sirius turn back and run up the wrong stairs to the boys' dorm.

As soon as the boys were gone, Lily fell on the ground into peals of laughter. Katrina looked at her, hands on her hips.

"That was really rude, Lil."

"Yeah, but it made him leave."

"So? Does that mean you'll do anything to get him to leave?"

"If he was in my face? Definitely!"

"If he was in your face, he'd be kissing you."

"Spare me the thought, Kat. That's just disgusting." She got up and sat back in her chair.

"What? Every sane girl would be happy if James Potter kissed them."

"Correction: every Insane girl would be happy if the king of the idiots kissed them. That leaves me sane, and you 'in' it."

"Ha, ha. I'm sure it does. So, are you ever going to finish that homework of yours?"

"Nah. I think I'm going to go look up a hex to throw at little Jamsie."

"No, Lil, don't! You remember what happened the last time you cursed him, don't you?"

"Yeah, and it was ridiculously funny!" She burst into laughter again.

"I don't think it was even remotely funny to see James's face turn different shades of green every time he smiled."

"It turned purple when he glared at me! It was so funny!" she said, between burst of laughter.

"No it wasn't."

"Yes it was." She stopped laughing and regained herself. Then, gathering her homework under one arm, she swept up the girls' stairs.

* * * * *

Lily reached her dorm room and pushed the door open. But what she found surprised her.

Sirius and one of Lily's other dorm mates, Gina Keating, were kissing in the middle of the room. Upon hearing Lily drop her Transfiguration book with a loud thud, the separated.

"Lil! Uh, this isn't what it looks like," Gina gasped, fixing her robes.

"It isn't? Then let me tell you what it looks like. It looks like one of my best friends is kissing one of my enemy's best friends. Hmmm, is that what it is?"

Gina sighed. "Okay, that's what it is. Don't tell anyone, Lil! Please."

"Why not? How long have you been keeping this from me, Gene?"

"A--a while."

"WHAT!"

"Shush!" Gina and Sirius whispered simultaneously.

"How do you expect me to shush?"

"I can put a silence charm on you," Sirius offered.

"I can break it," Lily replied mockingly.

"No you--"

"Yeah she can, Sirius."

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

"Leave," Lily said.

"Come on, Lil--"

"I don't think so. The next thing I'm gonna see is Remus kissing Kat, and then shrimpy little Jessie is going to be kissing that freak Peter, and me and James are gonna be the only sane ones left!"

Gina and Sirius glanced at each other. "That probably won't happen, Lil," Gina said.

"What?! It's already happening?"

"No, no! That's not what I said--"

"No, that's exactly what you said! Remus and Kat? Jessie and, ugh!, Peter?"

"Well, the first part--"

"Sirius, you'd better leave before I have a nervous breakdown. No kisses good bye."

Sirius left in a hurry. The door slammed behind him.

Lily immediately went into a calm state, almost giggly, as she lay on Gina's bed. Gina sat down beside her.

"So, when did it all start?" Lily asked.

"Start? Uh, Lil? Are you sure something isn't wrong with you?"

"There's nothing. Hey, Gina; you wanna help me find a hex to send at James?"

"I dunno... he's really nice."

"Oh, Gina! Sirius really has been rubbing off on you. Hey, I know!" She jumped off the bed and threw open her own trunk, searching for a book. "Aha!" She pulled out '1001 Transfiguration Hexes.'

"What're you going to do, Lil?"

"Hmmm, I dunno...maybe just sorta turn Jamsie into a different person. Perhaps, I don't know, Snape?"

"Lily!"

"Hey, he's done worse."

"He has?"

Lily blushed, not knowing why because he really hadn't done worse. All of his curses were pathetic. At least, in Lily's opinion. "Yeah," she lied. Gina bit her tongue (she looked ready to laugh), and Lily fought the urge to just tell the truth.

Lily flipped through the book until she found a hex titled 'Human Transformation by use of a charm' and stopped.

"Why is it 'by use of a charm', Lil?"

"Because I can't do Transfiguration for crap. Charms are way easier, and they do pretty much the same thing."

"Weird."

"Yeah, I know. Okay, so all I have to do is say the incantation and substitute the name of the person you want them to turn in to."

"You sure you're going to do this, Lily?"

"Positive. Here goes! *tronfurmius-Snape!*"

* * * * *

"Done."

"That wasn't hard, was it?"

"Actually, I barely felt any power leave me. Nothing like any of the other charms I've done."

"Are you sure you did it right?"

"I'm positive, Gina. Why are you worrying so much. You never used to worry before. Has Sirius really rubbed off on you that much?"

"Shut up, Lil."

"Gladly."

* * * * *

A while later, Lily was sitting in the common room talking to Katrina, Gina, Remus, and Sirius in front of the fire. James had disappeared, to a teacher's office, most likely.

"Ooooh! I just thought of something. I'll be right back." Lily ran out of the common room and up the girls' stairs.

"Uh, Kat," Remus said quietly, "Lily didn't curse James, did she?"

"I dunno," Kat replied. "Gina? Did you see her?"

Gina glanced at Sirius and said, "Um, yeah. She did."

"SHE WHAT!" the other three shouted.

"She cursed him. Transformation by means of a charm."

"No, no, no!" Remus exclaimed, standing up and starting to pace in front of the other three people.

"What's so bad about it?" Katrina asked. "The curse each other all the time."

"Yeah, but they use *different* hexes."

"Don't tell me--"

"Yeah."

"I'm lost," Sirius confessed. "Care to explain, lovebirds? You could be married; you already read each other's minds."

"Shut up. Anyway, Lil and James both used the Transformation yadda yadda yadda curse. At each other," Katrina said.

"So?"

"Well, when the same curse is thrown at the curser, this thing called Twindus Incantatem happens. The curser turns into the person they cursed, and vice versa."

"What a minute--that means Lil is turning into James and James is turning into Lil? This is going to be one big LAUGH!" Sirius burst out laughing. "By the way," he gasped, "how long does this Twindus thing last?"

"Forty-eight hours. It starts in ten minutes," Remus replied solemnly.

Katrina started laughing along with Sirius. "Lil and James are going to be each other for *two whole days*?"

"It's really not funny--" Gina started to say, but Remus cut her off.

"You know, when I think about it, it really is!" He joined in with the laughter.

"Oh, you guys are crazy. How are we going to tell Lil and James?" Gina asked. Everyone else shut up and stared at her.

"T-tell them?" Remus stuttered.

"We're not!" exclaimed Sirius. "We'll just see how it all--how it all unfolds!"

"I guess we can do that," Katrina agreed.

"You and Sirius agree to everything; you should be the one going out with him, not me!" Gina concluded. Suddenly, she clapped her hands over her mouth as the others looked at her.

"You--you're not going out, are you?" Remus asked.

"N-no!" Sirius exclaimed. "H-how'd you come up with that, Gina?"

"You are!" Katrina gasped.

"They're what?" Lily asked, coming back down to the common room.

At the exact same time, James climbed into the common room and said, "What're they?"

The foursome on the chairs looked at each other and burst into laughter.

* * * * *

"What's going on, guys?" Lily asked.

"Did I miss something?" James said.

Lily looked at James. James looked at Lily.

Lily yelled. James screamed.

"You're me!" they both cried.

The four on the chairs stood up to get a closer look, Katrina and Gina going to Lily, Remus and Sirius going to James.

"This is not good, not good at all!" Lily was shouting, in James's voice.

"I think it's okay. I mean, James is cute and everything--" Lily cut Katrina off.

"Kat," Lily said extremely calmly, "right now, I am James. And I don't want you telling me how cute James is or how smart or anything."

"Or how cute he can get when he's mad," Gina whispered.

She and Katrina giggled. Lily glared. They stopped.

Lily sighed. "Remember what I said to you and Sirius upstairs, Gina? About being sane? Well, I take it all back. I am officially insane as of now."

Across the room, James was ranting. "Why does this have to happen to me? Why?"

"I think it's okay. Just think of the tricks we can pull!" Sirius said.

"But we'd ruin Lily's reputation," Remus warned.

"Does it look like I CARE about Lil's rep right now? How do I get out of this--this--this body?"

By the fire, Lily was yelling again. "How long does this last? How long am I going to be James Potter?"

Gina looked across the room to Sirius, who met her eyes. She turned back to Lily and said quietly, "Two days."

"TWO DAYS? I AM GOING TO BE JAMES 'MR. I'M A CONCEITED FOOL' POTTER FOR TWO WHOLE DAYS?"

James, hearing Lily started again. "Is she telling the truth? I am going to be Lily 'I'm the prettiest angel on the face of this earth' Evans for TWO FULL DAYS?"

"Angel?" Lily shouted. "I sure don't look mighty pretty with you in there."

"And, might I add, that I look awful like a conceited fool with you in my body."

Sirius laughed. "You guys are just insulting yourselves. Lily, you just said that you're ugly, and James just said that he was a conceited fool!"

"Well, she is!" James spat.

"He is a fool!" Lily shouted.

Katrina and Gina started to giggle again. They stopped when Lily and James both shot them a look.

"I have got to get out of these robes," Lily said suddenly. "They are so uncomfortable!"

James agreed. "Girls' robes don't look that great on me."

"Speak for yourself."

James looked down. "These are huge on me!"

"I'm gonna go change." She started up the girls' stairs.

"Wait!" James said. Lily stopped and turned around. "Don't you think it'll be a little weird to your other dorm mates that James Potter is sleeping in the girls' fifth year dorm?"

"Yeah. But they'll live." She started to turn back around.

"In your bed." Lily stopped and turned all the way around again. She sprinted down the stairs.

"It'll look like you're sleeping with me!"

"It definitely won't look good."

"And I don't want to stay in the boys' dorm."

"Does it look like I want to stay in the girls' one?"

"I, uh, have somewhere else to sleep." Lily thought of the room she had found in her third year; the one behind a map of England.

"Me too," James said. Lily wondered where it was.

"Okay. Then I'll go grab some clothes for you and you get some for me. And I'll probably make a run down to kitchens; I'm planning on skipping class and meals."

"Skipping meals and classes? You can't do that!"

"I can't?"

"No!"

"Fine. Then you can skip all my classes. And don't go ravenous at meals; I don't eat that much!"

"I'll probably skip meals. Could you grab me some food when you go to the kitchens?"

"No."

"Okay, fine. I'll get my own. We'll go together."

"Fine with me. James, did you realize that if we both skip classes and meals, it'll look even more suspicious?"

"Oh, great. More to worry about."

"I'll just have to set everyone straight after two days."

"You mean we'll. Get back down here in fifteen minutes to go to the kitchens."

James and Lily sprinted up their separate stairways.

Remus looked at Sirius. "Did I miss something?"

"Nope. Ladies and gentlemen, that was Lily Evans and James Potter acting nice towards each other! Let's give them a big hand, everyone," Sirius said as a movie announcer. Everyone laughed.

"Well, I'll probably go up and help Lil. Coming, Kat?"

"Yeah."

Katrina and Gina went up the girls' stairs. Sirius shrugged, and he and Remus went up the boys' stairs to see James.