Consequences

Chapter Six

The Muggle Studies Project

Dinner was nearly finished by the time Sirius returned to the Great Hall, with only a few stragglers remaining at the long house tables. He quickly found James sitting alone at the Gryffindor table and sat opposite him.

'Hi,' James greeted his friend, and pushed a bowl towards him. 'I saved you some rhubarb crumble and custard. We had roast potatoes earlier, so I kept you some of them, too.'

'Thanks,' said Sirius, taking the bowl and peering into it. 'Though I'm not sure it was such a good idea to put them all in the same bowl.'

'Ha, like you're not going to eat it all, anyway.' James laughed as Sirius shrugged and started eating. 'So, are you going to tell me what happened with Dumbledore?'

'Give me a chance. Honestly, can't a person enjoy their roast potatoes and custard in peace? Anyway, how come you're sitting here on your own? Where are the others?'

'Technically I'm not on my own, Padfoot_you are here. But Moony and Wormtail have gone to the library.'

'Typical,' snorted Sirius. 'I could be getting expelled, and my friends are more worried about getting their Transfiguration essays in on time.'

'You aren't getting expelled; you're sitting here, stuffing your face.' James looked at Sirius with distaste. 'I can't believe you are actually eating that.'

'Why not? You made it,' retorted Sirius. 'It's quite nice, actually.' James looked even more disgusted. 'Oh, give over. It's not my fault that you're such a picky eater.'

'I'm not picky, merely discerning,' said James in a superior tone. 'Anyway, you still haven't told me what Dumbledore said. I take it you aren't being thrown out?'

'No, no I'm not,' said Sirius, pushing the now empty bowl away. 'It's mostly just the usual stuff: detentions, curfew, no Hogsmeade visits, no Quidditch, yaddah, yaddah.'

'Well, it could be worse, I suppose,' James mused. 'So how long does the great Sirius Black lock-down last for?'

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'Until I've learnt my lesson, apparently. Dumbledore wants me to face up to the consequences of my actions, whatever that means.'

'So you are in permanent detention until you've seen the error of your ways? Bloody hell, Padfoot, it's the complete opposite of expulsion_you're never going to be allowed out!'

'Ah, but that's just the thing,' said Sirius, leaning in conspiratorially. 'It's all part of Dumbledore's great plan. I'm getting special detentions to help me mend my wicked ways.'

'Special detentions? What does that mean?'

'No idea.' Sirius frowned. 'Perhaps he's going to make me spend the night in the Forbidden Forest, tied to a tree with a big sign that says "bite me" over my head. Perhaps I'll have to clean out Mrs Norris' litter tray for all eternity. Who knows? He says I'll find out on Monday night.'

'You don't think it's another attempt at character building? Remember the time McGonagall thought it would be good for us to be put in charge of a group of first years?'

'Ah, how can I forget?' answered Sirius wistfully. 'I think we all learnt something that day.'

'Well, I certainly learnt never to turn my back on an ill-behaved Animagus when there are children present. I still can't believe you let that little Hufflepuff kid think he'd turned you into a dog.'

Sirius laughed. 'You can talk. You were the one that helped him perform Memory Charms on the rest of the class. And you pretended he had to throw Stinksap over me to turn me back to normal.'

'Yes, that was a stroke of genius, wasn't it?' said James. 'I was almost sorry I had to modify the boy's memory as well. He was just starting to enjoy himself.'

'Ah, happy days,' smiled Sirius. 'Now, enough of this reminiscing. I think it's time I graced the Common Room with my presence again.'

'Yeah, all right, let's go,' said James, gathering up his books, ready to leave. 'Hang on a minute, though.'

'What?'

'You were gone an awfully long time just to be told about detention and loss of privileges.' James narrowed his eyes and looked at Sirius. 'What else happened?'

'Nothing,' said Sirius, feigning innocence. 'You know how Dumbledore likes to go on. I just had to sit through a bit of a lecture.'

'There's something you're not telling me,' declared James suspiciously. 'I want to know what it is.'

'Oh, Prongs, spare me the paranoia,' said Sirius. 'Why would I keep anything from you?' He turned and started to walk away, wishing it wasn't so obvious that he was indeed planning to keep most of what had happened in the Headmaster's office to himself.

'I don't know,' muttered James, hurrying after him. 'But I shall make it my mission to find out.'

************

Sirius spent the first half of the evening in the Common Room trying to avoid James' constant badgering for information about what exactly had happened during his interview with Dumbledore and the second half getting progressively more annoyed at James' hilarity over the business with the Sorting Hat, once he had given in and told him about it. No matter how often Sirius assured him that putting random objects on one's head and shouting 'Hufflepuff!' was not an act of comedic genius, James remained unconvinced, apparently certain that Sirius only needed to see the trick just one more time to see the funny side. Sirius eventually gave up in disgust and announced that he was going to bed early and would appreciate it if James could try to keep the noise down as he didn't want to be kept awake by his constant peals of laughter.

Having spent the better part of a week in bed in the hospital wing, Sirius wasn't really feeling sleepy. He hid himself behind the curtains of his bed and wondered idly just how long Remus would manage to avoid him. He briefly considered asking James to take bets on it but decided he wasn't really up to any more Sorting Hat_or worse, swimming_jokes so decided against it.

He was still awake over an hour later when James, Remus, and Peter returned to the dormitory. James had obviously wasted no time in regaling the others with his new favourite story, but Peter was as slow on the uptake as ever.

'So where did the Hat place him?' Peter was asking.

'Wormtail, what do you think?' snapped James. 'That Padfoot's been transferred to Slytherin and that's Snivellus lurking in his bed?'

'They wouldn't make them swap!' exclaimed Peter, clearly determined to display more horror than sense.

'Oh, wouldn't they?' asked James mischievously. 'Under normal circumstances, one would assume that that is Padfoot in Padfoot's bed. But consider the evidence.' Sirius ducked under his blanket as James warmed to the one thing that was sure to entertain him more than tormenting Sirius_tormenting Peter. 'What do we have here?' James asked. 'A set of Gryffindor robes, the normal attire of our own dear Padfoot. Yet look at these dirty marks down the front. They look like spilt custard but could they really be grease marks from the Slimy One?'

'Is this all strictly necessary?' Remus interrupted.

'Yes, I do believe it is,' replied James loftily. 'I say a full and thorough investigation of our new room-mate is very much in order. To wit, I present exhibit B: a Potions textbook found next to the suspect's sleeping quarters.'

'You and Padfoot had Potions this afternoon,' said Remus tersely. 'With Snape. You're in the same class.'

'Why yes, I grant you we did,' said James. 'But note that I, being a decent and right-thinking individual, threw my textbook to the far end of the Common Room at the earliest opportunity, whereas this perverse specimen appears to prefer to keep information regarding all things Potions-related close to his person at all times. This is clearly suspicious.'

'Oh, for the love of Merlin,' sighed Remus.

'They...they wouldn't,' stuttered Peter. 'I mean...it can't be...'

'No, of course.'

'Of course, it's time for the great reveal!' James shouted over Remus, and pulled back the hangings on Sirius' bed with a flourish. 'Ah, I see the subject is a little shy.' Sirius continued to hide under the blanket, wondering whether a little Snape-impersonating hexing of James mightn't be in order any minute now. James, however, was on a roll. 'Look closely, my friends, and you will see a crucial clue. A small quantity of black hair is visible above the bedclothes. The colour is in itself, inconclusive, as our friend and foe both have black hair. This calls for a thorough examination.'

'This calls for serious questions to be raised about your sanity, Prongs,' commented Remus darkly.

James ignored him completely. 'The hygiene test!' he announced, and pounced on top of Sirius. 'A quick check of the cleanliness of this individual's hair will resolve the mystery of his identity once and for all...Hmm, no trace of oiliness, no tell-tale odour of an apothecarist's sluice...It must be...Padfoot!' James jumped up and down on his friend. 'C'mon, Padfoot, show yourself!'

'Hmmph...Prongs...fuck off,' complained Sirius, trying to wrestle an annoyingly bouncy James off him. 'I was trying to sleep.'

'Pah, you've had all week for sleeping,' scoffed James. 'Now it's time for you to be a bit more sociable. Look how happy Wormtail is now that you're back.' He indicated Peter, who was indeed grinning inanely. 'You see? If he was any more pleased to see you, he'd need a change of underwear.'

'It's been less than a week, yet I seem to have forgotten your sparkling repartee,' muttered Sirius. 'Why, Prongs, do you feel the need to harass me so? And more to the point, why are you still sitting on my legs?'

'Oh, sorry about that,' said James, shuffling down to the end of the bed. 'Can't you see I'm just glad to have you back? It was so boring when you were in the hospital wing and I didn't have anyone to play with.'

'Thanks,' said Remus. 'Wormtail and I do like to feel appreciated.'

'Oh don't whinge, Moony,' said James. 'You know it's not the same unless it's all four of us. Besides, it's always Padfoot who has to drag you out of the library. You've spent so long in there recently, I was starting to wonder whether you and Madam Pince might be having some torrid affair.'

'Please, not the hilarious jokes about Moony shagging the librarian,' groaned Sirius. 'You wouldn't want me to crack a rib laughing, now would you?'

'All right, all right. I know when I'm beaten,' said James, retreating back to his own bed. 'We'll all just have a nice, boring early night since it appears that I'm the only one left with a sense of humour.'

'Perhaps you could develop a sense of when to shut up to go with it,' muttered Sirius. 'Now if you'll put a sock in it and let me get some sleep, I promise I'll do my best to find new and entertaining ways to make myself look like a complete wanker tomorrow, purely for your amusement. Satisfied?'

'Well, if you promise...'

'Good-night, Prongs.'

************

The rest of the weekend passed in much the same vein. Remus avoided Sirius as much as possible, spending even more time than usual in the library. When he couldn't avoid Sirius_in their dormitory and at mealtimes_he didn't speak to him directly. James became increasingly exasperated at the continuing tension within the group and attempted to relieve it by alternately trying to cheer Remus up by teasing Sirius mercilessly and snapping at him for 'sulking'. Eventually, Sirius realised that the situation called for drastic measures_he was going to have to have a Proper Conversation with James. He didn't particularly relish the prospect.

Sirius finally collared James after Quidditch practice on Sunday evening, having told Peter to go on ahead and save them places at dinner. James looked thoroughly bewildered as Sirius dragged him off to a quiet spot behind the Quidditch Stadium.

'I need to have a word with you,' he informed James grimly.

'If you like,' said James, nonplussed. 'But why the cloak-and-dagger routine?'

'It's...well...it's a bit awkward, really,' Sirius began.

'What have you done this time?'

'I haven't done anything!' exclaimed Sirius. 'It's you!'

'What have I done?' demanded James.

'You're being horrible. To Moony_all those comments about him sulking and never coming out of the library. It's upsetting him.'

'I'm upsetting Moony?' queried James, thunderstruck. 'Funny, I thought that was your department.'

Sirius paused, knowing he didn't really have a leg to stand on in this argument. 'Look,' he said slowly, 'I know it's difficult for you...how things are, but...you're just not helping matters. Can't you just...back off a bit? Give Moony a break.'

'Give him a break?' James spluttered. 'Maybe I would if he gave you a break! You do realise I'm only annoyed with him because he's being so unreasonable about you, don't you?'

'Well if you're only doing it on my account, that's all the more reason to stop it when I ask you to, isn't it?' said Sirius. 'Anyway, Prongs, he isn't being unreasonable, not after...not after last week...' his voice trailed away.

'Last week you nearly drowned,' said James forcefully. 'Not that Moony seems particularly concerned about it. He wouldn't even come with Wormtail and me to visit you in the hospital wing.'

'He did visit me,' muttered Sirius. 'Twice. He came on Sunday night, and he dropped off my Arithmancy notes for me.'

'Oh well, if you brought you homework, that's all right then,' said James sarcastically. 'He can feel free to spend the rest of the year moping about the library and sulking to his heart's content.'

'HE IS NOT SULKING!' shouted Sirius. 'Why can't you just leave him alone?'

'Why are you defending him?' countered James. 'What is it with you and him?'

Sirius flushed. 'It's...nothing. I just think you're being unreasonable.' He shrugged. 'All of this is my fault; I started it. If you want someone to be angry with, it should be me, not Moony.'

James looked away uncomfortably and scuffed a foot across the grass. 'I'm not angry,' he said quietly. 'I just hate all this...atmosphere. Moony's all but taken up permanent residence in the library, and when we do see him, he barely speaks to any of us, least of all you. You're all miserable all of the time, and Wormtail's...well, Wormtail's the same as ever, perhaps a bit more anxious than usual, but...it's not the same. I just want things to go back to normal.'

'Yeah, I know,' sighed Sirius. 'They will do, in a bit. You said yourself that Moony just needed some time to calm down.'

'Yeah, I s'pose,' said James without any real conviction. 'Look, I'll try to be nicer to Moony if you promise to make an effort not to go around with a face like a wet weekend all the time.'

'Deal,' smiled Sirius. 'Now, are we going to stand here talking about our feelings all evening, or shall we go and get some dinner?'

'Dinner. I'm bloody starving,' said James, starting to walk back towards the castle. 'Although I still think we should work on keeping Moony out of the library. Perhaps we could try putting a Fidelius Charm on it when he's not looking?'

'Prongs...'

'I was joking.'

************

Professor McGonagall kept Sirius behind after Transfiguration on Monday afternoon to tell him that his first detention would take place at 7 p.m. that evening. She gave him directions for where to go but refused to tell him any more details. James entertained himself throughout dinner by coming up with progressively more outlandish suggestions about what 'special detentions' might entail, which Sirius supposed he was meant to find encouraging. Though hardly a stranger to detention, Sirius did feel slightly hesitant about what the evening might hold, all the more so when he remembered the decidedly odd look McGonagall had given him when he had pressed her for information about it.

When Sirius arrived at the location Professor McGonagall had given him (an unused office on the Muggle Studies corridor), he was greeted by Lily Evans.

'Um, I'm supposed to be here,' he said, wondering just how it was that Lily always made him feel he'd been caught doing something he oughtn't. 'McGonagall sent me.'

'Yes, for detention, I know,' answered Lily. 'Well, come and sit down. In case you hadn't worked it out, I'm supervising your detentions.'

'You?' queried Sirius, closing the door behind him but remaining on his feet. 'I thought prefects only did detentions for lower years.'

'Ordinarily, yes,' agreed Lily. 'But special arrangements have been made in your case.'

'Lucky me,' said Sirius, wondering vaguely whether having someone save your life meant you were never allowed to be rude to them again. 'So what are these arrangements?'

'Well, if you'd stop hovering and sit down, I'll tell you,' answered Lily impatiently. She looked rather nervous. Sirius shrugged and took the seat across the desk from her.

'So?' he asked. 'What horrors do you have in store for me? Clamping in irons? Public flogging? Or are you going to be really nasty and make me clean this office?' He looked around the room, which was indeed filthy. Piles of overfilled boxes were stacked up in the corner, spewing obsolete Muggle technologies like mangles and spinning wheels onto the dirty floor. Ancient books and newspapers were scattered all around the room, which was thick with dust. The only clean area was the desk in the middle of the room, which Lily had obviously cleared already. She had placed a small pile of books to one side (Sirius couldn't read the titles) and, he noted with some disgust, a small bunch of flowers. Girls, he thought.

'I'm...it's nothing horrible,' Lily assured him. 'I want to help you.'

'Help me?' Sirius was sceptical. 'Why would you want to do that? You don't even like me. In fact, only a fortnight ago, you said I was an egoistical layabout and a complete waste of space.'

'Well,' said Lily slowly. 'I did think that, but now I think I might have been a little harsh. After the...business with the lake, I realise that I might have misjudged you.'

'Ah, I should have known,' said Sirius. 'Look, Evans, I am grateful that you stopped me from drowning, but as I told you at the time, you got it all wrong. I am not in the least bit suicidal. See that window over there?' He pointed to a window at the far end of the office. 'I don't feel the slightest desire to jump out of it.'

Lily craned her neck to look out of the window. 'Well, I'm not too worried about that,' she advised him. 'It's got a balcony.'

Sirius tutted. 'That's not the point. The point is, I don't need any help.'

'So you keep telling me,' said Lily. She paused and then attempted a change of tack. 'It wouldn't just be a case of me helping you, as such,' she explained. 'I also need you to help me with something.'

'And all these years, you've been telling me I'm neither use nor ornament.' Sirius raised an eyebrow. 'So, what do you want me to help you with?'

'Well, I was hoping I could...study you,' Lily told him, 'for my Muggle Studies project.'

Sirius stared at her in amazement. 'Evans, have you completely taken leave of your senses?' he asked. 'Leaving aside the frankly disturbing notion that you might want to do a project on me, you seem to have overlooked one crucial point: I'm not a Muggle.'

'Yes, I know that,' said Lily tersely. 'The project is on the application of Muggle Sciences on wizards.' Noticing Sirius' blank look, she continued. 'It's a sort of...experiment. I need to look at the effectiveness of using Muggle ideas to tackle wizard problems.'

'You're going to do experiments on me?'

'Not exactly, no,' answered Lily. 'It's more the project itself is an experiment, to see if a Muggle science might work on a wizard.'

Sirius frowned. 'Right,' he said slowly, 'so you want to try out this Muggle science and see if it affects me the same way as it would affect a Muggle?' Lily nodded. 'OK,' he continued, 'so what is this science thing? And what effect is it meant to have on me?'

'It's called psychology,' Lily told him. 'Have you heard of it?' Sirius shook his head. 'Well, it's about how people's minds work...trying to understand why they do things.'

'Like Legilimency?'

'Not exactly,' said Lily. 'It's not just about what someone is thinking or feeling at the time but more why they might feel the way they do, looking at their mental processes. It can also be used to help people think about why they might behave a certain way and to address any...negative behaviour.'

'So you're going to attempt to reform me?' Sirius grinned knowingly. 'Well, good luck, Evans. You won't be the first to have tried it, and you probably won't be the last. What does this examination of my mental processes involve then?'

'Well, just talking, really,' said Lily. 'I'll start off by giving you some personality tests and then assess the right therapeutic approach. I got these books,' she indicated the pile on the table, 'from my mother. She's a psychology teacher.'

'You've been discussing me with your mother?' teased Sirius. 'Well, that's certainly not something I'd expected.'

'Um, I haven't exactly told her what I'm doing,' admitted Lily. 'She might think it's not very...ethical. I'm not really qualified as a proper psychologist and...well, you're meant to have a licence. I don't have one so, it's kind of against the rules. I hope that doesn't bother you too much.'

'Not at all,' laughed Sirius. 'You want me to talk to you, annoy your mother, and aid and abet your rule-breaking and unlicensed...whatever it is. I can see now why you wanted my help. It sounds like exactly the sort of thing I do best, and leading Gryffindor prefects astray is my absolute favourite hobby.'

'There's no need to be so flippant about it,' snapped Lily. 'Dumbledore was hoping you would take this seriously. He's hoping you might benefit from it.'

'You've spoken to Dumbledore about this?' asked Sirius in alarm. 'So does that mean...did he tell you...why I've got detention?'

'Yes,' said Lily grimly. 'He told me.'

'Everything?'

'Everything. I know all about it,' said Lily, as Sirius stared at her in horror. 'I know...what you did...about Snape...and I know about Lupin.'

'You know about Remus!' exclaimed Sirius. 'How? Who told you? You'd better not tell anyone.' He was glaring across at her now.

'No, I won't,' said Lily quickly. 'Oh, he said you wouldn't take this very well...look, I talked to Lupin and Dumbledore, and we all agree_'

'You all did what?' raged Sirius, jumping to his feet. 'So the three of you have been having meetings about me behind my back. I can't believe this!'

'It isn't like that!' Lily looked slightly panicked by Sirius' reaction. 'We want to_'

'Help me, yes, I know,' spat Sirius bitterly, turning away from her and starting to pace the room. This is just unbelievable...what has he been saying...? he wondered.

'Perhaps we'll give it a rest for tonight,' suggested Lily. 'I think maybe you need some time to get used to the idea.' Sirius turned and glowered at her. 'I've got you some leaflets to read; they explain things in a bit more detail.' She held out a sheaf of shiny Muggle papers, which Sirius took without looking at her or them. 'Right then,' she said brightly. 'I'll see you back here at the same time on Thursday.'

'Fine,' said Sirius, and he walked out without looking back at Lily.

************

Sirius marched back towards Gryffindor Tower in a furious temper. He was outraged at the knowledge that Remus, Lily, and Dumbledore had been discussing him and his alleged character deficiencies. Who do they think they are talking about me like that? he railed to himself. The nerve of some people! When he took a break from working himself up into a righteous anger about people talking about him, behind my back, he became equally enraged that Remus had apparently volunteered to tell Lily that he was a werewolf. He never wanted to tell me...us, he thought angrily. He kept it a secret for nearly two years until we worked it out...then he just goes and tells her like it's nothing.

He was still absolutely livid when he got to the Common Room and sat glaring so fiercely at a group of first years who were playing Gobstones in the corner that they retreated anxiously to their own dorm. In a bid to calm down before going to look for his friends in the dormitory, he started to read the leaflets Lily had given him. He couldn't be sure whether it was his own bad mood or the tone of the leaflets themselves, but the descriptions of 'challenging behaviour,' 'adolescent trauma', and 'attachment disorders', only made him feel more cross than ever.

When Sirius finally made it to the dormitory, he found Peter and James playing Exploding Snap on Peter's bed. The drapes were drawn around Remus' bed, and Sirius supposed he was pretending to be asleep, as was becoming usual. James jumped up when he saw Sirius, sending cards, pillows, and Peter sprawling off the bed.

'Back already?' asked James cheerfully. He paused to look at Sirius appraisingly. 'No apparent signs of injury, so clearly Filch hasn't been torturing you in a secret compartment at the bottom of the dungeons.'

'No, he hasn't,' said Sirius, sitting down on his own bed. 'Sorry to disappoint you.'

'Not at all, mate,' replied James, bounding over to him. 'So, are you going to tell us about your mystery detention, or are we going to have to beg for information?'

Sirius looked at James. This wasn't going to be easy. 'I'm doing detentions with Evans. Apparently she wants to study mentally unstable wizards for some project she's doing, so I have to spend my evenings talking to her about my feelings.'

James' eyes widened in amazement 'That's not a punishment!' he cried. 'Getting to spend time alone with Evans is more like a reward!'

'Once again, Prongs, I have to assure you that I don't see my interactions with Evans in quite the same light.' Sirius smiled grimly. 'I'd happily trade places, believe me. Evans is obsessed with the idea that I'm completely suicidal and seems to have taken it upon herself to do something about it.' Sirius could tell James wasn't convinced. 'Look, this isn't some scheme I've come up with to seduce Evans,' he assured him. 'I keep telling her I fell in the lake by accident and that I just never learnt to swim, but she won't have any of it.'

'Why didn't you transform?'

James and Sirius turned to look at Peter in amazement. 'When you fell in the lake,' Peter continued. 'Why didn't you turn into a dog? Dogs can swim.'

'Y'know, that's a fair question,' said James, turning to Sirius with an eyebrow raised. 'Why didn't you?'

Sirius looked between James and Peter open-mouthed. 'It's not like I was planning to fall in,' he huffed. 'It just happened.'

'No, but once you fell in, you could have transformed,' Peter persisted, 'then you could have swum to the side.'

'For fuck's sake, Wormtail, I was drowning!' exclaimed Sirius. 'I guess the fact that I can turn into a dog slipped my mind, what with struggling for air and trying not to swallow half the lake and all.'

Peter shrugged. 'I'm just surprised you didn't think of it.'

'Well it's only taken you a week to think of it yourself,' muttered Sirius tersely. 'Clearly, you'll be a lot of help to me if I'm ever in a life or death situation again.'

'All right, Padfoot, calm down,' said James. 'It isn't Wormtail's fault that you failed to see the bleeding obvious solution.'

'Fine!' shouted Sirius. 'Clearly I'm now stupid as well as insane. Perhaps you'd like to fuck off and let me go to bed so I can rest my inadequate little brain in the hope of one day attaining Wormtail's intellectual brilliance.' He pushed James off his bed and drew the curtains around himself before throwing himself, fully dressed, onto the bed, where he lay awake silently cursing his enemies, real and imagined, for several hours, before falling into a restless sleep.

************