Running Away

One Halloween evening, a man with unruly black hair and a red-haired woman sat on a sofa in the sitting room of a house located in the village of Godric's Hollow. A baby boy played in a crib in the corner. The child had his father's messy black hair and his mother's almond-shaped eyes, the colour of emeralds.

Lily Potter had a bad presentiment. She didn't like the idea of Peter being their Secret-Keeper, but it was for the best, really, their best chance... Voldemort would never think of him. They could have chosen Dumbledore, but it was too obvious a choice, and Lord Voldemort was so powerful these days that not even a wizard of Dumbledore's powers was completely safe...

There was a sharp knock on the door. Lily's husband looked up worriedly towards the door. "Who would - at this hour - it can't be - NO!"

James saw two glowing red eyes outside the window. Leaping up, he rushed over to the door, trying to hold it closed.

"What's the matter, James? It's not..." His wife suddenly fell silent, fear written clearly across her features. It is, then.

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's Him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off -" James shouted, panicking. His hazel eyes were flashing behind his glasses.

"Hold him off? Are you mad, James? You're no match for Him. He'll kill you -"

"I know - I SAID GO, LILY! RUN!" he shouted just as there was another, more insistent knock. James fleetingly wondered why Voldemort even bothered to knock. He could easily blow the door off its hinges. Why bother with manners when he came to kill them?

Lily felt terrible about leaving her husband to face Voldemort, and certain death, alone, but she did as he asked and ran to Harry's crib, but stumbled over a toy on the floor. Meanwhile, the front door burst open, and a tall, hooded figure stepped in, red eyes glowing, laughing cruelly.

James stood tall, blocking Voldemort's path, shielding his wife and son from his sight He aimed his wand at the dark wizard, knowing all along that he stood no chance. Voldemort was going to kill him, but he had to try ... anything to gain time ... hopefully, Lily would have time to escape, and Harry would be safe ...

"Impedimenta!" shouted James.

The Dark Lord raised his wand, still cackling cruelly - the jet of red light flew right back at James, who dodged it -

"Stupefy!"

But his aim was off, the spell hit the wall - Voldemort raised his wand again, and James did not have time to duck.

"Avada Kedavra!"

James Potter fell to the floor, dead, and Voldemort advanced towards Lily and Harry. Lily stood tall, shielding Harry with her body.

"Not Harry! Not Harry! Please - I'll do anything -" Even join the Dark side, if it is to save my son.

"Stand aside - stand aside, girl -"

He tried to push her of the way, but Lily wouldn't budge.

"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"

"Stand aside, you silly girl ... stand aside, now ..."

"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead -"

Voldemort raised his wand and Lily was thrown forcefully away from the crib and at a wall. He walked over, fraying himself a path to the baby.

"Not Harry! Please ... have mercy ... have mercy ..." Lily was screaming.

Voldemort laughed shrilly.

There was nothing she could do to stop him ... Lord Voldemort was too powerful ... her son was going to die, and there was nothing she could do ...

Crying, Lily collapsed on the floor. She screamed as she saw Voldemort raise his wand and touch the tip to Harry's forehead.

Ignoring Lily's screams, Voldemort spoke the Killing Curse for the second time that evening. "Avada Kedavra!"

There was a blinding flash of green light ... and thus, Lord Voldemort marked Harry Potter as his equal, giving him a scar in the form of a lightning bolt where the wand had touched him - and killed him in the same moment.

Triumphant, the Dark Lord laughed, a high, cold, cruel laugh. 'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord' was no more. No one would be able to stop him now.

Without a single glance at the sobbing woman, the now unstoppable wizard referred to as You-Know-Who shot the Dark Mark into the sky and Disapparated.

It was then, staring at the glowing green skull overhead, that Lily realised Voldemort had spared her. Such an event was unheard of - You-Know-Who eliminated entire families. Why did he let her live?

"JAMES? LILY? HARRY?" a voice, shrill and panicked, called out into the house.

Then he noticed Lily sobbing on the floor.

"Lily!" Sirius Black ran towards her, seized her shoulder and pulled her up from the ground. "What happened?" he asked quickly.

"Oh - Sirius! He was here! Voldemort! They're - they're dead! He killed them," she cried, sobbing into his cloak.

"And you are alive? How -?"

"He - he spared me. I tried to persuade him to have mercy on Harry, but he didn't listen -"

Grief-stricken, Sirius stared at her. Voldemort spared no one. Suddenly, he pushed her away. She had watched James and Harry die, and did nothing?

"You should have died to save Harry, as James did for you!" he accused suddenly.

Tears flowing down her face, Lily ran out of the room, and out of the house. She had just watched her husband and son be murdered before her eyes, and she had been too shocked, frozen with horror, to do anything, not that it would have made a difference.

She had nothing left anymore, nothing to fight for. Her family was dead, and her friends blamed her for it.

Suddenly, she couldn't care anymore. She had nothing to live for; there was nothing left for her in this world ... She no longer felt grief, or anger, or sadness ... She didn't feel anything. Just emptiness. She no longer cared, and she just wanted to die. But she knew she wouldn't have the courage to put an end to her own life, just like she didn't have the courage to sacrifice herself for her son. And as she didn't have the courage to die, she had to live, but it was as if her life was over. There was nothing left of her life anymore, no one to love, nothing ...

Maybe she had lost her sanity. But then again, who would stay sane after watching both her beloved husband and her only son die before her eyes? No woman's sanity could stay unaffected by such an ordeal. And Lily wished to forget, to forget it all. To forget what she had been. To forget James. To forget Harry. To forget everything that held any connection to her old life.

Lily saw a black-hooded, masked figure lurking in the trees. In her - perhaps deranged - mind, Lily saw a chance to forget it all, to start anew. And she wanted to seize that chance, for she had nothing to lose, since she had nothing. Nothing to care for. But if she started all over, maybe she would have something to live for again. Something ... anything. Something to fight for.

As horrible as it was, Lily felt some gratitude to Lord Voldemort for the exception he had made by not killing her. If she could still feel, she would have hated herself for it. What she was about to do should have felt revolting, but it did not, because Lily was beyond emotions now. Her heart had been wounded too deeply, so deeply that she no longer felt anything at all. It was like her heart was dead, incapable of feeling again.

She wanted to erase the past.

So without any remorse at the absolutely horrendous action she was making, Lily turned around and called out loudly,

"Are you a follower of You-Know-Who?"

The figure turned swiftly, drawing a wand. Lily dropped hers to the ground, showing she had to intention to fight.

"Your Lord came after my family tonight, yet he spared my life. There is nothing left for me on the Light side anymore. Take me to your Master."

*

Lily stared at the short, cloaked figure who was leading the way. Then she recognized who it was.

"P-Peter? You're alive ..."

"Yes, Lily, it's me."

"Why did you betray us?"

"I had no choice, I was scared ... he is so powerful ... I'm glad the Dark Lord didn't kill you. I heard that one of the Death Eaters persuaded Him your death wasn't necessary..."

*

"Evans?"

Lily recognised that voice. "Snape?"

"What are you doing here, Evans?"

"I'm here to join the Dark Lord, what else? He spared my life, and I wish to thank him."

Snape stared at her in shock. "Thank him? Evans, are you insane?" he hissed, all the while glancing worriedly over his shoulder to check if anyone was listening. "Are you bloody out of your mind? How can you even think of joining the man who killed your family? Do you not remember what your husband -" he spat the word as if it were a curse, "- and yourself fought for, mere hours ago? How can you ... Where is your conscience?"

Lily realised then that he was not supposed to try to dissuade her - he was a Death Eater, for heaven's sake! - and she thought she knew, now, who was the spy Dumbledore talked about at Order meetings.

"Conscience? Conscience? I have nothing anymore, you hear me? NOTHING!

"Don't you understand?" she yelled hysterically, her green eyes flashing in sheer madness, "I no longer care! I have nothing to live for, and this is my escape! This is my chance to forget! This is my chance to deny the past ever happened!"

Snape was shocked beyond belief. "Evans..." he broke off. He truly didn't know what to say. In some sense, he understood her, but she was clearly irrational ...

What could he do to stop her, to make her see the sheer lack of reason in her thoughts?

"Evans, listen to me," he started, but she cut him off.

"And don't call me Evans! My name is Potter, Lily Potter. Widow or not, I will always remain a Potter."

He sneered. A Potter, indeed ... What she saw in that idiot James Potter, he could never imagine. You see, Severus had secretly loved Lily for a long time - she was the only one who defended him at Hogwarts, and he had fallen in love with her ...

"But you just said you wanted to deny the past -" he started. Insane women were just plain confusing.

"- And start anew, yes," she continued for him, "but the name Evans is part of my past as well, so I really have no choice."

"Unless you decide to take a new one," he told her. "Do you want to? Tell me, Lily, do you want to?" his voice was fervent as he pronounced her name, and there was an oddly desperate glint in his previously expressionless black eyes, as if a hope brutally repressed years ago had suddenly resurfaced.

Startled emerald eyes stared up into black ones. "Does that mean ... what I think it does?"

His voice was still that low, passionate tone it had been seconds earlier. "Yes, my beloved Lily, yes it does. Tell me you accept. I betrayed Him so that I could be on the same side as you, so that I could protect you; you were the reason I became a double agent. Say yes, Lily, please ... give me a reason to live."

In a spontaneous gesture of affection, Lily's hand reached for that of the man before her. "I accept, Severus ... I have nothing to lose."

For the first time since the terrible ordeal she had been through less than an hour ago, a hint of a smile graced Lily's face. A reason to live ...

And the same slight smile was reflected on the pale face of the disloyal Death Eater. He had never dared hope for this. He had loved Lily for years. She was the only one who stood by him at Hogwarts ... But when she married Potter, he knew she was lost to him forever. He had never dared dream she would one day be his.

James Potter was probably rolling in his grave right now - oh, wait, he didn't have one yet - if he could see Lily about to become the wife of his most hated enemy.What a sweet vengeance.

Lily's voice drew him out of his dark thoughts.

"I haven't forgotten why I came here," she said. "Lead me to your Dark Lord."

Snape nodded, not voicing another word of objection. He took Lily's hand and led the way up the staircase to the Dark Lord's office.

He would no longer risk his life to pass information to Dumbledore. He would no longer be a double agent. His goal was to be on the same side as Lily, and if Lily chose the Dark, he would stand by her, just as she has stood by him at Hogwarts.

She was the reason he had become a spy. He had gone to Dumbledore to warn them as soon as he had learned of the Dark Lord's plan to attack the Potters, and the old wizard had offered him a deal: he would warn the Order of the Phoenix of impending attacks, and in return, Dumbledore would vouch for him if he was caught by the Aurors. Snape had accepted, because it had been a chance to protect Lily... But he had thought he had failed because of Pettigrew's petty treachery.

They had been brought together by tragedy. And now, they were united in darkness.