Why Mervy's Tense

"Two coffees, please," Mervy McGonagall-Stevens said briskly to the Muggle man behind the counter of the Starbucks in King's Cross Station. "And hurry, please. I'm in rather a hurry." The coffee man smiled at her as he punched in the order into the register.

"Here you are, Miss," he said, plopping the coffees down in front of her. Mervy didn't return the smile, took the coffees and stalked off. She walked to a small table across the hall from the Starbucks, where a severe-looking woman was sitting and looking down square framed spectacles balanced precariously on her nose, reading a thick textbook. The woman's name was Minerva McGonagall, deputy headmistress and Transfiguration teacher of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She was also Mervy's very un-maternal mother. Mervy put one of the coffees down by the woman and sat down across from her.

"My world is falling apart you know," Mervy said, frowning and shaking her long black hair behind her back. "Everything's changing. I really don't want to do this. I don't need to be a student. Really." Mervy was only eleven years old, but she looked and gave the impression of being much older. Like her mother there was something very commanding about her persona, something intimidating and something very close to being frightening. She had inherited most of her looks from her mother's side of the family; she had long black hair, beady gray eyes, a very tall and lanky figure and an unfortunately long and thin nose like practically everyone else in her family. Professor McGonagall said nothing in response to her daughter; she just raised her eyebrows at the book in front of her nose and took a sip of her coffee. Mervy scowled at her mother. "This would definitely be an opportune time for some parenting, Mother," Mervy snapped.

Professor McGonagall finally looked up from her book and looked at her daughter.

"You will go to Hogwarts," she said evenly and taking another sip of coffee. "And that is final."

Her daughter chose not to argue, as her mother's voice could be very dangerous at times.

"Why are we here?" Mervy snapped instead, glaring at the coffee. Stupid coffee, she though angrily.

Professor McGonagall raised her eyebrows at her daughter.

"You're going to take the train to Hogwarts," she said as if she was slightly worried about her daughter's intelligence.

Mervy stared at her mother.

"Why would I do that?" she asked moodily. "I was already at Hogwarts. I live at Hogwarts."

"Yes, but you are going to be a student starting today, and students take the train to school," Professor McGonagall said shortly. She took another large gulp of her coffee. "You'll get to have the whole Hogwarts experience."

"The whole Hogwarts experience, eh?" Mervy said, frowning. "Now, tell me, does holding back Pomona Sprout's hair as she vomits into a toilet because she just saw her fiancée on top of a blonde Ministry secretary... is that included in the 'whole Hogwarts experience'? It's such a lovely past time," Mervy mumbled, gulping down her coffee furiously.

"Well, we can't have students who aren't daughters of the Transfiguration Professor have all the fun, can we?" Professor McGonagall said dryly, holding back a smile.

Mervy stared anxiously at her mother for a few seconds, trying to ignore the butterflies that had begun to do a jig in her stomach.

"I'm doing something that's never been done before, aren't I?" Mervy asked suddenly, beginning to stir her cup of coffee furiously.

"What, stirring coffee?" Professor McGonagall asked, raising one eyebrow at her daughter.

"Mum! You know what I mean!" Mervy snapped. "I'm a Hogwarts Child. Chid of the Staff. And I'm enrolling. I'm the first one to ever actually be a student at Hogwarts, right?"

Professor McGonagall didn't say anything for a moment, then nodded.

"Yes, that's true."

"Because teachers are supposed to keep their personal lives sort of... secret." Mervy continued, frowning.

"Yes."

"Why do I have to enroll?" Mervy asked, putting down her coffee so quickly that some splashed over and burned her hand. "Why can't I just be like normal Hogwarts Children and just live at the school and get taught after hours? That's what Bailey Vector and Quentin Kettleburn did."

"Yes, but you see, dearest daughter of mine, there were two of them then," Professor McGonagall said, beginning to sound slightly agitated. "In the past there's always been at least two Hogwarts Children here at a time to keep each other company. None of the other teachers have children right now. You cannot just sit around all day completely alone and only talk to people thirty years older than you. It is not healthy."

Mervy didn't say anything, just glared at her mother and swallowed her coffee in three very large gulps.

Professor McGonagall looked at the Muggle watch strapped onto her wrist. Muggle clothes are so unnatural, she thought crossly. I wonder how the Tonks family manages it.

"The train is going to arrive very soon," Professor McGonagall said shortly. She picked up her book and stood up. "We'd better get going."

Mervy shoved her hands into her pockets and followed her mother, looking down at her feet. Here it comes, she thought. She had never been so nervous before in her life. Hogwarts was her... well, her home. "Get born to a teacher at Hogwarts, the teacher doesn't give birth to you, the school does," her godfather, Filius Flitwick had told her on her fifth birthday when she asked him why she didn't live in a normal house like all the other children her age. The school births you. All the teachers parent you. Truly a Hogwarts Child. Mervy's stomach flopped over. The biggest Teacher's Pet in the world. And normal kids... (the ones with the normal mothers who didn't spend all their free time grading shoddily done Transfiguration Essays) didn't like Teacher's Pets. Oh, God, Mervy thought, frowning. Now Mum is going to walk me all the way to the Platform... and see me off the train... and all the other kids are going to recognize her... Oh, Lord, why didn't Dad come instead? Even if he is in France doing Family Business. Surely he could've left for a minute, right? Mervy felt as though she had just swallowed five pounds of Honeyduke's Jumping Jelly Worms.

Once they were drawing near platforms Nine and Ten Mervy's mother pulled her aside.

"I'm leaving now," Professor McGonagall said to her frightened looking daughter. "I assume you remember how to get onto the platform," she said, adjusting her spectacles slightly.

Mervy didn't say anything but nodded.

"Why aren't you coming with me?" Mervy asked, her voice suddenly very small.

"So that you can pretend, for a few hours, as crazy as this might sound, Mervy... that you don't spend your free time holding back Sally Sprout's hair when she vomits," Minerva said, adjusting her spectacles. She hesitated for a moment, adjusted her spectacles again, and kissed her daughter on the forehead. "Oh, and remember the Midnight Meeting tonight. Professor Dumbledore's letting us use the Great Hall again. Andromeda's bringing her little five-year-old along this time. God help us all."

Mervy smiled weakly at her mother, and without another word, Professor McGonagall briskly left, walking into the women's bathroom on the other side of the hall.

Mervy took a deep breath. Maybe she should just run away, she thought wildly. Run far, far, far away. And never come back.

***

Mervy had been standing close to the barrier between platforms nine and ten, wondering if Paris would be a nice place to live for a runaway, when she noticed several Muggle security guards run past her, talking to each other.

"What do you mean a stray cat's in the building?"

"I don't know how it got there, but it just sort of materialized in the women's bathroom! It's running to the exit! Hurry!"

Mervy smirked, when she heard anxious voices behind her that made her look up.

"I knew this would all go to pieces. Where are we supposed to go?"

"Where's the platform?"

Mervy looked behind her, at a family that was huddled very close together by the large sign reading "Platform Ten". A stocky Muggle man wearing a bowler hat was standing, peering at a ticket and looking harassed; next to him was a pretty blonde woman with large green eyes who was embracing a small, red haired girl who had a suitcase behind her. Next to them stood a rather ugly girl with buckteeth and a very long neck.

"Oh... Lily..." the woman sighed, stroking the girl's bright red hair. "What am I ever going to do without you?"

"I'll still be here, Mum," whined the skinny girl with buckteeth to the mother. The mother rolled her eyes and clucked.

"Yes, Petunia, dear, I am aware of that fact," the mother snapped at her ugly daughter. "Just let me and Lily have a moment, here, alright?" The skinny girl (Petunia was her name, apparently, Mervy thought) scowled and crossed her arms.

"Platform nine..." the man said, adjusting the bowler hat on his head, and looking, perplexed, at the shiny sign reading "Platform Nine", "and...--" (he turned his head to look at Platform Ten) "Platform... Ten... but... there's not a..."

"I know how to get onto Platform Nine and Three Quarters," Mervy said quickly, striding up to the family. She was very little surprised at herself; she had figured that she was going to probably spend the whole train ride staring at her sneakers quietly and trying not to let anyone know of her lineage.

The man stared at her, and the woman's mouth fell slightly open, and she stopped rocking the girl.

"You do?" the man repeated, staring at Mervy. "What... do you go to Hogwarts too?"

"Yes. Or I will, at least," Mervy said, looking at the redhead whose cheeks were now being pinched. The girl, Lilac or whatever her name was, was giving her sister a pleading look, as if apologizing for all the attention.

"Well?" the man asked impatiently embarrassed that this strange girl was observing his wife's obvious favoritism. "How do you do it?"

"You just run through the barrier between platforms nine and ten," Mervy said, resisting the urge to smile. The family stared at her. "Really," she said. "That's it. You just try not to be seen and all that. And only... you know, she can." Mervy said, gesturing to the redhead. "Witches."

"No!" the mother screamed, holding onto her daughter tightly. "Oh, Lily, you just can't leave me yet..."

Mervy stared at the Lily's mother with barely concealed horror on her face. Imagine a mother who wouldn't let you leave. Mervy was suddenly felt very grateful having a mother that never let her hair down read Transfiguration textbooks to relax. At least Mum would never embarrass you like this, Mervy thought.

"Right." Mervy said aloud. "Well, maybe I'll see you on the train then," she said awkwardly to the Lily character, marched right up to the barrier between platforms nine and ten, and leaned casually by it. She could feel the whole Muggle family watching her from across the hall.

She fell through the platform and landed hard on her side. She glanced up and saw the red steam engine with "Hogwarts Express" painted on the side. Standing up and rubbing her arm where she fell, she started to go walk towards the Hogwarts Express slowly. A funeral march was playing slowly through her head... dum dum dumbumb dum dudda dudda dudda... teach-ers-pet-you-are-a-teacher's-pet...

"Wait!"

Mervy immediately stopped the symphony in her head and wheeled around. The Lily girl was running toward her, her suitcase trolley crashing about dangerously behind her.

"I see your mother let go of you," Mervy said coolly as soon as the girl was within hearing distance.

Lily laughed and shook her bright hair out of her pretty green eyes.

"Yeah," she said, rolling her startlingly green eyes. "I tell you, my mother..." She grinned. "I'm Lily Evans," Lily said, holding out her hand to Mervy. She gave Mervy a quick once-over and saw, to her dismay, that she had no suitcases. "Oh no," Lily breathed, her face turning slightly pink. "Was I not supposed to bring luggage?"

Mervy's mind flashed how she, her mother, her father, Pomona Sprout, Ogg the gamekeeper, Filius Flitwick, and Rolanda Hooch had all squeezed into her mother's lodgings last night and helped her pack. No one really seemed to keen to actually pack then... Rolanda, Filius and her father started playing poker, her mother was reading Transfiguration Today and Ogg was drinking about a keg of Firewhisky. Half of her things were still left scattered around Professor McGonagall's office and bedroom.

"Uhm, no," Mervy said at last. "I'm just... weird."

"Oh." Lily said, cocking her head at the girl. She paused for a minute, waiting for Mervy to introduce herself. "Sorry, didn't catch your name..."

"Oh, right," Mervy said suddenly, blushing. "Yeah. I'm... Mervy... Mervy..." (Well, Mervy thought, she's a Muggle, she won't recognize McGonagall, will she?) "Mervy McGonagall-Stevens."

"Oh," Lily said, then frowned. "I've heard McGonagall before..." she said.

"Maybe your mind's just playing tricks on you," Mervy said immediately.

Lily grinned, then snapped her fingers energetically, remembering.

"She's the Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts," Lily said, grinning. "That's it. It said so on the letter. You related?"

Mervy sighed. "She's kinda my... mum," Mervy mumbled at last. Lily's expression softened.

"Oh, that's why you don't have luggage. It's already there." Lily grinned. "You saw my mother. Yours can't be as weird as mine."

Mervy shrugged, then mumbled, "Mine assigns more homework though, I'm sure." Lily laughed sympathetically.

The train gave a threatening whistle and Mervy and Lily ran to the train, and, with difficulty, wrestled Lily's trunks into the train as the train started moving.

Mervy and Lily found a compartment that was nearly empty, the only passenger was a small, greasy haired boy with a hook-nose, who left immediately once Lily admitted to him that she was Muggle-born. Lily, was very still indignant from this incident ("I can't believe he just left! We're two beautiful women, and it doesn't look like he has any friends to keep him here!" when she sat down next to Mervy on the seat.)

Mervy looked out the window at the countryside. Traveling all this way, just to go home. Everyone else was leaving his or her family. Mine's just going to assign me some homework. This is it, thought Mervy, somewhat glumly. Everything changes now.

"This is it," Lily said, looking out the window. "Everything changes now."

Mervy grinned. "I do hope we're both put in the same House, Lily," she said.

***

Five hours later, Mervy climbed into a large four-poster bed in the first year Gryffindor Common Room with Lily, alongside with a very pretty girl Mervy had never seen before named Sapphire Smith. To her surprise, people at the Gryffindor Table had started when they heard her last name, but they seemed to take the fact that she was offspring from their Transfiguration Teacher with interest, rather than disgust.

Mervy was fully prepared to drift happily off to sleep...

A few hours later, Mervy was rudely wakened up by someone shook her roughly awake. "Mervy! Mervy! Wake up!"

"Whosit?" Mervy asked groggily, rubbing her eyes.

"It's Andromeda," Andromeda Tonks said, laughing and throwing the sheets off Mervy and forcing her into her dressing-gown.

"Aunt Andromeda?" Mervy asked, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "Why're you here?"

"Don't call me that," Andromeda said, shuddering. "That horrible Aunt Andromeda business. I'm you're fifth cousin by marriage thrice removed." The Tonks family was indeed distantly related to the McGonagall family; but no one was really sure how far back, and didn't really care. As far as any McGonagall was concerned, anyone with the famous Muggle poker-cheater Theodore Tonks's blood in their veins deserved to be family.

"What's wrong?" Mervy asked, resisting the urge to add "Aunt Andromeda" and allowing herself to be pulled toward the door.

"What's wrong?" Andromeda laughed, pushing Mervy down the stairs carefully so she wouldn't fall. "It's Monday. Time for our weekly midnight family meeting. You know that." Mervy groaned internally. Right. The McGonagall Midnight Meeting.

A portly man was waiting for Andromeda and Mervy in the Gryffindor Common Room, lying on his back and looking up at the ceiling.

"Hullo, Uncle Georgie," Mervy said, yawning. George sat up and winked at his young niece.

"Howdy, kiddo, just havin' a shuteye," he said, hoisting his large body up. He was the only McGonagall to really take to alcohol; the two other adult McGonagalls too serious to like the feeling of being drunk at all, and his body was plump because of it. His black hair was very ruffled; not because it was particularly unruly, but because he didn't really think combing hair was worth the effort. "You're late," he said, grinning at her. "Marshall's going to throw a hissy fit."

Mervy and Andromeda followed George into the Great Hall, where the McGonagall family (minus Mervy's father, Doug Stevens, who was off in France on business) was situated around the staff table. Mervy rubbed her eyes, and, with a jolt of surprise, saw that Professor Dumbledore was there, talking intently into her mother's ear.

"Ah," Dumbledore said, standing up, his eyes twinkling at Mervy. "I believe it is my time to leave, as all the McGonagalls are here."

"Thank you, Dumbledore," Marshall said unconvincingly. "You're... always welcome here," he added, forcing a smile.

"One would hope so, as it's his school," Professor McGonagall mumbled, glaring at her brother.

"Now, now, Minerva," Dumbledore said lightly, "No one could ever own Hogwarts. Now, it really is quite late, and I should be going to get some rest." With that, Dumbledore stood and swept out of the Great Hall, and Mervy thought she saw that he had given her a slight smile.

"You're very late," Marshall McGonagall snapped irritably to Mervy once Dumbledore had left the Hall. He gestured to a seat next to Professor McGonagall. "Sit there." Mervy obliged, stifling a yawn. "And stop yawning!" Marshall snapped.

"Yeah, Mervy," Uncle George said, grinning and tapping his long nose. "The McGonagalls don't yawn. How the hell could me, Marshall and your mother convinced all those hookers to counterfeit Galleons for us in the fifties if we just sat around yawning?"

"Joking about that," Professor McGonagall said darkly. "That was a horrible time." George clucked at her.

"Posh," George said, grinning at her. "Yes, it came about because we were starving like rats, but still. Even you, Little Missus Morality, have to admit that most of the time, it was, without a doubt, hysterical."

Mervy giggled, and George earned a nasty look from Marshall.

"You know, Marshall," Professor McGonagall said, turning to her older brother. "You really should be more cordial to Dumbledore." Marshall gave a sigh of exasperation and stared up at the enchanted ceiling that was now covered in dark clouds as if asking God for assistance.

"He's not a McGonagall, Minerva," Marshall said impatiently. "Or," Marshall said, his eyes glancing over at his girlfriend, Docilla Lule and her nineteen year old son, Destry. "Nor has he been inducted. He can't just be here for the meetings."

"Oh, he knows everything that goes on in them anyway," Minerva snapped, her

cheeks turning slightly pink. "He could help us. And you know he could get in a lot of trouble for letting us here meet here. Turning over the school to a batch of common crooks like us."

Marshall gaped at her sister. The table got very quiet upon these words, and even little five-year-old Nymphadora seemed to understand that Minerva McGonagall had just said something very insulting.

"Common crooks?" Marshall said, quietly, looking at his sister in disbelief. "Is that what you think we are?"

"Well, you did send my husband off to France so he could pickpocket innocent Muggle tourists," Professor McGonagall said acidly. Marshall's face turned pink.

"Yes, my dear sister," Marshall said, the bald spot on the top of his head now turning slightly pink as well. "He is. But may I remind you that we, unlike common crooks, have set morals. Guidelines. Rules. Laws, for chrissake. He's not taking more than the equivalent of twenty Galleons from one person; and only from people who have that money to spare," Marshall said triumphantly.

"Which means he's really not doing anything wrong," Professor McGonagall said dryly.

"Enough of this right now," Georgie said, heartily, and gestured to Mervy, who

was wavering in her chair from sleepiness. "Minerva, conjure up some coffee for your daughter here. Minerva, I know you're worried about Doug, we all are. But he'll be fine and be home from France soon. Don't take it out on your family. We are what we are."

Professor McGonagall sighed and looked down at her hands for a few moments. She seemed to decide that it would be better for herself if she attempted to patch things up with her eldest brother, and mumbled an apology to Marshall; who took it with forced good grace. Professor McGonagall then waved her wand and a cup of steaming hot hazelnut coffee appeared before her.

"Thanks, Mummy," Mervy said, sipping it and trying to stay awake.

"Right..." Marshall said, taking a deep breath drumming his fingers upon the staff table. Marshall was a very tense man ever since the death of his Uncle Maxamillion had thrown him into being the Head Of McGonagalls, and he felt that running the only Wizard organized crime family group was challenging enough, with or without fussy little sister Transfiguration teachers. That Minerva, Marshall found himself thinking. Maybe Mum was right... maybe she is a damned blemish on this family.

Marshall sighed looked at a moth eaten piece of parchment that he had been doodling on earlier. "First order of business... Andromeda... did Ted get caught cheating at Blackjack last night?"

The whole McGonagall family stopped their fidgeting (Mervy almost dropped her coffee) to stare at Andromeda in horror, who clucked her tongue against her mouth in indignation.

"Yes, but it was in some very little privately owned casino in America. No one'll know over here," she said, trying to sound reasonable, but looking at Marshall with pleading eyes. Marshall scowled at her.

"I don't care if no one will know over here, I want you to stop your husband from going to any more casinos until he can prove to me that he's a proper Tonks and actually knows how to have a steady hand at cards." Marshall turned his beady eyes on his self-proclaimed fussy sister. "Did you read that article in the Prophet?" he barked.

"I did," Professor McGonagall sniffed. "And I thought it was very strange that they would just put it in there like that. It's supposed to be a family paper. Anyway, none of its true. The hookers of Knockturn Alley have not had a mass conversion to Christianity. They're still there, doing business."

Marshall sighed and ran his fingers through his thinning black hair. "And the veelas?" he asked heavily. "Is it true that a veela brothel is opening up in Britain?" (Mervy felt herself slowly starting to nod off... she had to muster all her strength just to stay awake.)

"No, its just a strip club," Professor McGonagall said. "And I've talked to them, and they don't seem like the type to be running around and conducting any side business. They're very...innocent, as far as strippers go. They haven't seemed to have thought about bodyguards yet; but they'll definitely need them if they don't want to get harassed or raped. It's very sad, really." Marshall nodded distractedly, crossing out some items on his list.

"And this child hooker? Patil something? Kenya?" Marshall asked.

"Oh, I've heard about her!" George said, suddenly sitting up straighter. "I wouldn't mind a night with her, she's supposed to be really good--"

"Kanya Parvati Padma Patil. She's some fourteen year old who ran away from India," Minerva said, frowning. "Making quite a lot of money. Tried to talk to her but she doesn't know any English. If she did, I'd try to bring her here."

Marshall stared at his sister.

"What do you mean, bring her here?" he yelped. Professor McGonagall avoided her brother's eyes that looked so like her own.

"We happen to be in a school, Marshall," she said briskly. "And Patil is of a schooling age. Now, if she knew the language--"

"It wouldn't really make her any less of a whore, putting her in this school, now would it, Minerva?" Marshall said, staring at his sister incredulously. He shook his head as if disbelieving what his sister was suggesting. "Mervy," he said, causing Mervy to jump (her eyes were closing on their own accord again) "learn Indian. Urdu. Hindi. Whatever it is, find out and learn it." Mervy nodded glumly, thinking of all the other languages she had been forced to learn in order to translate for whatever Hooker-Of-The-Week was popular down on Knockturn... Chinese, French, German... and now... Indian. Lovely.

Mervy didn't know how it happened, what with her Uncles pouring coffee down her throat every two minutes and Nymphadora's tantrums filling the room, but somehow she managed to fall asleep.

"Mervy!" She awoke to find Marshall shaking her; everyone else had left the Great Hall. He shook his head at her. "Come on. Be a good McGonagall. Show some family pride. Stay awake." He sighed, and then frowned and shrugged. "Well, it doesn't much matter now... as it's over," he glowered at Mervy for a moment as if it was her fault that the meeting had ended before continuing to lecture his niece. "Look, Mervy, you being a student at Hogwarts is excellent. Excellent. Very useful."

Mervy stared at him. "And why would that be?" she asked, giving a large yawn. "And where did everyone go?"

Marshall glared at her for daring to yawn in his presence again.

"They all went to bed. Mervy, it's late. No, don't yawn, girl, pay attention. We could use some people around here who know how to maneuver around the school."

"Mum knows --" Mervy started, but was silenced by Marshall shaking his head at

her.

"Your mother refuses to cooperate most of the time on missions when sneaking around Hogwarts extensively is involved," Marshall said, frowning at the thought of it. Fussy sister, he thought angrily. "So. Learn the passageways, make friends with the bad, troublemaking kids."

Mervy stared at him.

"Right..." she said, shrugging. "Will do. Could you get Mum to stop giving me detentions if she catches me on any of these little adventures?"

"No..." Marshall said, hesitating. "In fact, you might want to neglect to tell your mother about what I'm saying to you now as it is... she might not take it well."

Mervy felt a small feeling of panic rising in her stomach. Oh God, a family fight. And I'm directly involved, she thought miserably as she turned away to walk back to bed.

"Oh, and Mervy," Marshall said and Mervy turned around half-heatedly to see that her uncle was grinning at her. "Andromeda wanted to tell you something, but you were very busy snoring. Boy in Gryffindor. Your year. Name of Sirius Black. He's Andromeda's cousin. She hopes you'll like him."

"I thought Andromeda was banished from her family when she married Ted," Mervy mumbled. "She hates her family."

"Ah, she was and she does, but she seems to remember this kid being different. More like herself, or something." Marshall allowed a small smile to flash across his face. "I believe her plan is to get you two married."

"I'm so happy my romantic life has been planned out for me," Mervy snapped, scowling.

As she left the Great Hall she made up her mind that she would be horrible to this Sirius Black. That'd show Andromeda.

As tired as she had been during the meeting before, she had much trouble falling asleep that night.