A House Apart

Wednesday, September 1^st, 1985

Time: 8:30ish PM

Mood: I could just cry.

Dear Journal,

I think I might be sick. This is not the way this was supposed to work out whatsoever. I'm not one of these...Slytherins. They all seem to know each other and I haven't got a single friend in here. I wonder how Natalia's doing. I'm surprised I haven't begun crying yet. When no one else is around, I'll be bawling for sure.

That bloody hat! It's like it wants everyone to be miserable. Whose brilliant idea was it to have a hat sort us, anyway? Bloody hat doesn't know me! It can't see inside my head, obviously. If it had I'd be with my SISTER!!! What made it want me in Slytherin anyway? I'm not devious. Cunning. Evil. No, not me. I'm a crier. It's what I do best.

Well, at least I know why I'm not in Gryffindor. Too much of a bloody coward. What's that? Evils are coming this way? RUUUUUUN! That would be me. Running away from adversity. Keeping my head down.

This girl is giving me a funny look. "Can I help you?"

"You're Juliette Tiernan?" No, I'm The Queen.

"Yeah..."

"Your sister's in Ravenclaw, right?" She's coming over.

"Uh huh." Why does she have to talk to me? Can't she see I'm busy?

"I'm Zaria." Well, isn't that lovely. Let me remember that forever, please. "What are you writing?" Every word you say.

"Journal. Nat's idea." That was true, at least. If Nat hadn't gotten us these matching journals, I'd have nowhere to write about how mad I was at a certain inanimate object.

"Nat's your sister? What's that short for?" NATural born killer.

"Natalia. Our parents are creative."

"You can say that again." Our parents are creative. "Well, I've got to run. Unpacking to do." She turned and walked away, not even waiting for my, would be witty, reply. Zaria is weird. What's her story? What lies behind those ice blue eyes? What kind of mind is under all that mass of wavy black hair? Why do I care so much? She was just being friendly and here I am picking her apart. I should be nicer. Maybe we could be friends. All my friends are in Gryffindor. (And Marie in Hufflepuff.)

NATALIA! I MISS YOU! It's only been, like, ten minutes since the end of the feast and I miss you already. Someone needs to be here to keep me sane! I might just die. Lay down and die. That sounds like a good idea, actually. Not the dying part, but maybe some sleep would help? I swear I won't kill myself. Cross my heart and hope to...never mind.

Same day

10:48 PM

Mood: Kind of irritated.

Journal,

These girls...they bother me. More so than I thought they would. First, I just thought they'd be kind of quiet and just go to bed. (Or try and talk to me like that Zaria girl.) But, no. Remember how I said they all seemed to know each other? Yeah, well...they do. They all know each other and every other person in the whole bloody castle.

They just won't shut up. Really. They've been at it for hours now, and I don't expect they'll be done until class tomorrow when they'll start all over again. I'll bet they're note passers. They look like the kind of girls who pass notes. I pass notes sometimes. When I can't just talk to Nat. I miss her. If Natalia were here, she'd probably say something like, "Shut up and sod off, noisy gits!" I could just say it in her stead. Or I could join them. Or...

"Hey, Jules!" Merlin, its Zaria. "Come get in this conversation!" She's calling me over to join the coven in the middle of the room. Should I stay, or should I go? They're all looking at me. Why are they looking at me?

"Uh...that's okay. I'm gonna try and get some sleep. Classes tomorrow, right?" I need sleep. What if we don't have classes together? Nat and I?

"Come ooooooooooon!" they all say at once. I take a quick head count. Six. And I'm lucky seven. "Please, Jules? Just this once? It's only the first day. No one's gonna teach on the first day." Zaria is persistent.

"Fine," I say, giving in. This was just going to be an endless battle anyway. "But only for a little while." Hey, I know! I'll make a joke here! "I need my beauty sleep, you know." They didn't laugh. Zaria offered some odd kind of half smile. At least I tried. They'd better not make me late for class tomorrow.

Thursday, September 2^nd, 1985

Time: 10:13

Mood: VERY VERY ANGRY!

Those stupid...stupid people!

Journal,

I told them. I told them, I told them, I told them. They kept me up late (past one AM) and I slept through my alarm. I TOLD THEM! So, here I am, front row of Potions, bleary eyed, stomach growling, teacher looking at me like...I don't know. You'd think he would let me off, as he's the Head of House, but no. I just get to sit here, thinking about my empty my stomach is and wondering how beetle eyes taste. It appears that teachers do "teach" on the first day. At least Snape does.

Zaria and them all look great. (I also TOLD THEM I needed beauty sleep!) Bright eyed and bushy tailed, like Mom would say. Did Nat write to her? I forgot. Wish I could ask. Apparently, the Slytherins have classes with the Hufflepuffs. Since I was late, Marie was already partnered with someone else. I got stuck with some dimwitted...

He just looked at my book. I covered the whole "dimwitted" thing. I don't need an enemy on the first sodding day. Maybe he's not a dimwit though. Maybe he's in the same situation as me. Maybe all of his friends are in Gryffindor and he was tossed into Hufflepuff because he's 'loyal'.

Nope. My Potions partner has a lazy eye.

"Miss Tiernan?" Dang. Snape's caught me writing. "What is so important that you don't have time to listen to the lecture?" Keep you greasy nose out of my journal.

"Nothing, sir. I'm sorry. Won't happen again." Phony smile. Please trust me.

"It had better not. As I was saying..." he rambled on. I should be taking notes. I'll just borrow...no I won't. Nat's in Ravenclaw. I keep forgetting.

Or else hoping that all this is a bad dream and we're both actually in Gryffindor. Or Ravenclaw. Or even Hufflepuff. So long as we're not both in Slimy Slytherin. With greasy Snape. And Zealous Zaria. And those girls who don't laugh at my jokes. My jokes are funny. Most of the time.

Same day

Time: lunch

Feeling: stressed.

Dear Journal,

Nat keeps looking at me. I'm trying to tell her that I'm going to die with these girls who still haven't given up on getting me to chat with them. I guess I need to work on my eye language because she's just not getting it. Oh no, they're talking about boys. Again. Isn't there anything better to discuss?

"Hey, Jules." Zaria again. "I think Cullen has a thing for you." Now they have my attention.

"Cullen?" I don't remember meeting a Cullen. "Cullen who?"

"Don't be silly, Tiernan!" A blonde one said in a high pitched voice. I tried being silly. You didn't laugh. I guess my mystified expression made her want to explain further. "You know..." Or not.

"No, actually. Who's Cullen?" Funny how six girls can all have the same expression.

"Cullen Boyd." Thanks Zaria. That really cleared it up for me. I shook my head. "Your potions partner?" You've got to be kidding me. Lazy-eye has an actual name?

"Oh... that Cullen Boyd." Do NOT look horrified! "He kind of has a lazy eye, doesn't he?" Once again, they all gave me those looks. Kind of...confused and...well...displeased.

"Not that we've ever seen," another one, a redhead, replied.

"Annnnnnnywaaaaaay..." They started gabbing again. Two points for making them say that, I think. How could they not have seen his eye? How could anyone miss an eye like that? Merlin. He's looking over here. I think...how can I tell? Good, his friends (?) got his attention (?) off of this table. (?)

I'm going over there. To Nat's table, I mean. "Where are you going?" Blondie asks. Getting away from you.

"Ravenclaw table. See my sister." Isn't that obvious?

"No!" a couple say in harsh whispers. Dirty Blonde and Brunette Number 2 pull me back into my seat.

"Why not?" Seriously. Since when can't I go say "hello"? Or "I miss you". Or "SAVE ME".

"Do you seriously want the seventh years on your back?" Zaria asks.

"What?" The looks. Again. Why do they assume I know everything about the House I don't even want to be in?

"If the older students find out that you've been talking to anyone in the other houses within the first week of classes..." Dirty Blonde trailed off, looking horror stricken. The others wore matching expressions again. It was obvious that talking to someone would mean...something bad. They weren't about to say. I wasn't about to ask. I looked back at Natalia who was looking kind of confused. I turned back around.

Same Day

Time: Very late. People are sleeping.

Feeling: Tired, but I've got to write.

Dear Journal,

Classes passed in the same fashion as Potions, though without the slimy git professor. McGonagall is nice. Ditto Flitwick. If it weren't for Snape, I wouldn't have any homework. He assigned us a foot long essay on...you'll never guess. "The Rules of This Class and Why They Are Important" Yeah, I said. AND WHY THEY'RE IMPORTANT! Make matters worse by not being able to see Nat ALL DAY. I wonder if she's suffering too...

Okay, back to what I intended to write. During dinner, Marie pops over to the table and at first I'm happy to see her. She starts talking about the classes and whatnot and then Zaria coughs. I look up and the whole lot of them do that motion that's supposed to indicate decapitation. Well, at this point, I remember that I'm not supposed to be talking to her and I ask her to leave.

Well, it never was like Marie to take rejection lightly. She takes off in tears after yelling something like "I thought we were friends, Juliette Tiernan! I guess I'm just not good enough for you now that you've made NEW friends!" Other than the fact that she's bloody crazy, I realize that I'm not the only emotional wreck in the bunch. (She doesn't really know anyone in Hufflepuff, but how hard could it be to make friends there?)

Dirty Blonde, whose name is Lara, stands up and says something like this: "You've got that right! Why would Jule want to be friends with a whimpering little Puffie like you?" By now she's out of the Hall, practically screaming with tears. I felt a bit bad about it. (Stress the words: a bit) I mean, she didn't have to take offense in the first place. I'd asked politely enough, after all.

I asked Lara why she did that and you know what they do? They all look down the table to where the older kids are sitting and...laughing. Laughing about how "that dumb Puff got thrashed". That dumb Puff was my only friend in Potions. Now I'm stuck with Cullen and I can't tell if he's looking at me or not.

Now I'm just lying in bed, trying my best not to be too upset about what's gonna happen tomorrow. What would Natalia do?