Ordinary Glitter

Remus sighed. Apparently, today was going to be one of those days.

He blamed the trouble on Sirius, of course. But it wasn't really Sirius' fault that he drove Remus crazy. Arrogant, self-centered, sexy-as-hell Sirius didn't have to be concerned with the fact that he was anyone's secret fantasy, or that he was wanted in every sense of the word.

It wasn't just that Remus fancied Sirius, or wanted him as a mere sex toy. Remus needed his friend, needed him in all his selfish and glam-rock-obsessed glory. He wanted Sirius' kohled-and-glittered eyes to look into his bare and ordinary ones with the love and trust Remus knew he was capable of, though Sirius rarely, if ever, displayed his sensitive side.

Remus' own sensitive side was all too obvious. He couldn't help believing in love, despite all the time he spent with Sirius and his constant declarations against such foolish things. Remus hoped he could change Sirius, make him believe in that which he so vehemently scoffed at.

But Sirius was selfish. Sirius cared about his own pleasure, and Sirius never formed committed, long-term relationships with anyone - he was famous for it. Love was not even an issue for him.

Remus wanted Sirius to believe in love again. He remembered a time, way back when they were kids, when love was a topic they tried to avoid but Sirius trusted in it anyway. It wasn't until sometime after Sirius had discovered glam rock that he realized that love was all nothing but a sham. Remus had never really understood why, exactly, though he'd tried his hardest. He suspected Sirius had had his heart broken one too many times, and he wished he had been there because he would never have hurt him so cruelly and intentionally.

Of course, Remus didn't really believe that a wild glitterboy could ever really love someone as plain and ordinary as himself, but he hoped for it with all his heart. So Remus had waited. He had watched, and hoped for a day when the great Sirius Black might stoop to falling in love with one of his best friends.

Especially one who had already fallen in love with him, despite all protests to the contrary.

---

Sirius sighed. Apparently, today was going to be one of those days.

He blamed his problems on everyone else, of course. After all, it wasn't Sirius' fault that everyone wanted him. That sort of thing was to be expected when you were the resident glam rock god, as Sirius sometimes liked to think of himself.

Sirius didn't love anyone, and made sure everyone knew it. He couldn't let a silly thing like falling in love destroy his image as the unknowable, untouchable Sirius Black.

He had sometimes wondered what it would be like to fall in love. To know that you needed someone so completely, to realize that you would die if you thought it would make the other person happy - these were the kind of things Sirius wondered about having, and he wondered about having them with Remus.

Sirius needed Remus. Remus was his conscience, his sanity, and a refreshing bit of normality in Sirius' glitter-obsessed glam rock world. His only flaw, if it could be called such a thing, might be that he believed too much in love, while Sirius tried not to believe in it at all.

He had believed in love once, when he was young and innocent. That was when his friendship with Remus and the other boys was just beginning to blossom. They were his best friends, then and now, and would do anything for him.

However, Sirius believed that as good a friend as Remus was, he would never feel more than that for Sirius. Good, smart, sane, ordinary people like Remus didn't fall for self-proclaimed glitterboys like Sirius. So Sirius had turned his back on love, claiming his actions were a statement of purpose and nothing more. He never admitted, even to himself, that it had anything to do with Remus, not even smiling at the irony when Remus asked him repeatedly if he'd done something to hurt him.

No, Sirius didn't love Remus. But he needed him completely, and he would die to make him happy.