Love To The Loveless Shown

Chapter I ~Now ~

If you look at old pictures of Sirius Black a classically handsome man waves back; the man in the photograph is all straight Grecian nose, wavy hair that falls slightly below his collar, and dark, soulful eyes - puppy-dog eyes, they could be called. The man is tall and quite broad, good-natured but with a quick and sarcastic wit that can be seen lurking beneath the chocolate of those sparkling eyes. He is good-looking and if you look closely enough, your nose barely a millimetre away from the slick surface, you can tell that Sirius Black knows this. He has a confident air of a man that can meet everything face on, a man that you would not entrust with your life, and especially not your daughter, but one that you can implicitly trust to manage a respectable financial institution. Obviously, if you don´t mind the impromptu holidays and the pretty female secretaries in short skirts...

However, the Sirius Black of the present is a changed man - prison has done awful things to him, and these are reflected on his thin, angry and haggard face. He has escaped from Azkaban with his sanity because he knows he is innocent, and this helped him combat the terrible years that he spent incarcerated and isolated in the forbidding, Dementor-ridden bowels of the island prison.

Sirius Black, through the twelve years of his imprisonment, has developed a sixth sense for trouble or danger, especially when those he loves are in peril. Now, what he sometimes considers an affliction, is directed towards his godson, Harry. The guilt he feels in the fate of the boy´s parents means that he is even more terrified about the boy´s safety. If he knows that Harry was safe, Sirius can sleep easier at night, even if he does scream and whimper in his nightmarish sleep. If the child is protected and cared for, everything that he had to endure is a little less painful, a little less torturous.

This evening, as he sits in a cave with stalactites dripping lime-water onto him, Sirius Black is worrying; the tell-tale sign is the vertical crease that sits uncomfortably between his dark eyebrows and the way his thin fingers twist around each other as if they are mice wrestling, never stilled. In his mind, Sirius can feel something terrible coming towards the school, and he knows that it is after Harry. He has owled Dumbledore, who replied that Harry is perfectly safe and there is nothing to be afraid of. Sirius knows that he should be comforted - who will protect Harry better than the only wizard that You-Know-Who is afraid of - but there is doubt in his mind.

Sirius Black tucks the edge of his blanket under him and tries to sleep. Silvery moonlight filters through the cave entrance, and it makes him think of his old friend Remus, who runs with the moon.

Chapter II ~Then~

Remus always thought that his trolley was going to crash into the ticket booth between platforms nine and ten, so he always closed his eyes and ran until he could scent the musty smoke from the Hogwarts Express and the almost sherbet smell of magic that cracked and fizzed in his sensitive nostrils. This year was no exception.

As ever, there were no problems and he was able to enter Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. Remus always felt a little foolish about being so worried about the barrier not opening, but to worry about things was in his nature; he was sure that it was something to do about his werewolf status. His father, who believed in being punctual, had dropped Lupin at King´s Cross in plenty of time to load his heavy, battered trunk onto a trolley and push it to where the platform was hidden. The man never came onto the platform with him. Remus knew his dad became emotional and thought it best if the tears he shed for his youngest son were expelled in private. What the boy did not know was that the tears flowed because he, quiet, intelligent and slightly introverted, was Mr Lupin´s most beloved child. To see the last and most adored of his children, his `young cub,´ leave to go to school almost broke the old man´s heart with pain.

He opened his eyes, noticing that his father´s almost obsessional need to be on time meant that he had arrived just over half an hour before the eleven o´clock departure of the scarlet engine. The cargo of witches, wizards, assorted pets, trunks and broomsticks had not yet started to fill the small platform, so Remus was able to freely wheel his trolley down the smooth, worn stone to a carriage midway between engine and guard van. He manhandled his trunk onto the train (oh the strength benefits of werewolf status, he thought bitterly) and settled in the corner seat to wait for his friends. In his vantage position Remus could see the large majority of the platform, his keen eyes trained on those who were passing through the portal.

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The first he saw was James, his untidy hair sticking up and an almost harassed look on his slightly tense face. James Potter was not the best-looking boy to have entered Gryffindor, but there was a certain chirpy demeanour that lent humour to his thin face, and those in the know knew how glorious his body, honed by years of Quidditch, was under his plain school robes. Lupin knew - images of slender, toned, creamy skin and callused gentle fingers sometimes haunted his dreams. *bad Remus, naughty Remus, one hundred years in detention for me.* His friend´s blue eyes were tired but jovial behind his round spectacles as he hauled his trolley along, looking for anyone he knew. His visage split into a dazzling grin when he saw Remus´ smiling face pop out of an open window.

`Saved a compartment, James. Hope everyone gets here on time.´ God I sounded like my father when I said that thought Lupin.

`Get here early as usual? It´s all very useful, you know - it´s always nice having a seat saved for our tired, aching bones. Give us a hand with this, Remy, there´s a mate.´ Together (well, it was mostly Lupin) the trunk was pushed under the seating and they both collapsed panting.

`Sirius! SIRIUS!´ yelled James suddenly, and somehow managed to squeeze his head through the small window. Luckily it was already open. The dark-haired handsome boy, chocolate eyes gleaming with amusement, was able, to Remus´ relief, to get his own trunk into the compartment. He flopped down, head resting on one of Lupin´s thighs. The werewolf involuntarily closed his eyes. The warm, chocolatey smell mixed with the masculine scents emanating from Sirius constricted his throat with desire, as did the broad-shoulders, sturdy body clad in well-fitting Muggle jeans and a jersey that was a little too small. Must be strong, he thought. No wanting my best friends, even if most of the other people here want them too...

Why do my friends have to be so damned cute? And flirty. And popular and sexy and clever and ... everything! Remus damned them both, but he wouldn´t have changed them for the world.

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`Ah, I always forget how comfortable you are, Remy.´ Black turned and started trying to fluff up Remus´ leg to make it extra snuggly. `Mmmm, nice to be back with my lovely friends. Even you, Jamie, you snoring git - I have a spell to stop that, so if you just...´

`Hell no! You are putting no spell on me! Last time you did that did Pinoccious and my nose refused to stop growing whenever I told a lie for a week. And it had to be at the time I was trying to shake off that Hufflepuff girl. Every time I told her I was washing my hair, what would happen? Another half-inch on my nose, thanks to you. No more spells, thank you very much; especially as it is our last year at Hogwarts and contrary to popular belief I want to do well in my NEWTS.´

`Ach James. You don´t need NEWTS with looks like that - with your body, my beauty and Remy´s brain we could go far, could we not?´

`At least it wouldn´t be my body, James´ face and your brains, Sirius.´ Black threw a shoe at Lupin, which missed its target and flew out of the window. Grumbling, Sirius had to fetch it and spent several moments amusing himself by sticking himself to the glass with his open mouth. James threw a peanut at him, and Black, not wanting to miss out on any food, came racing back in and swiped a handful. Remus closed the window with a thunk, pressing his forehead to the cool glass.

Sirius noticed that his werewolf friend was gazing out of the window, pointed chin resting on the knuckles of his long fingered elegant hands. Remus does have pretty hands, he thought irrationally.

`Found anyone you fancy, Remy my love. Don´t you forget, you are mine.´ Fingers, squarer, stronger and larger than the ones he had been studying slithered jokingly up long thighs and were swatted away in good temper by Remus.

`Nah. Snape has just got here and is looking as Slytherin as he can possibly get.´ There was a rush to the window at this point as James and Sirius tried to get a decent glimpse at their enemy.

`Good God! I think he has washed his hair!´

`Nah - was the light, Jamie. He´s still as slimy as ever.´

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Severus Snape marched past, eyes rigidly to the front and avoiding their mocking contempt. Tall, fairly thin and hawkish faced, black eyes full of rigidly held emotions and icy repression, he had an almost proud and dangerous air, though Sirius and James chose to ignore it. Remus did not. He could always detect the hatred that the Slytherin boy had for him and his friends, and he was aware that taunts and insults were stored up and remembered in a formidable mind. Snape had an intellect that many were jealous of. Indeed, his gift for Potions, which was taught by the sneering and downright terrifying head of Slytherin House, the Doctor, meant that this was one class he could beat the Gryffindors he despised. He also tried to ignore the faces that were being pulled by Black and Potter. The former was crossing his eyes, wrinkling up his nose and pulling his lips away from their teeth, while his friend was gurning wildly. Fools, thought Snape, his severe black robes swirling around his slim frame and stalking along the platform like the proverbial angel of death. He would make them pay; he would make them bleed and then he would destroy them.

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`That Severus Snape is a card, isn´t he.´ Sirius resumed his position of lounging on the carriage seat, head on Remus´ lap. James tucked his legs under him and polished his glasses.

`I dislike him intensely. There is something creepy about him; all that potions stuff and the way The Doctor likes him so much. The Doctor actively hates everyone except Snape. Wonder why...´ James trailed off, eyes dreamy. `Maybe he is a zombie - The Doctor would really love him them. Maybe it was he who reanimated Snape, who was killed in a freak accident with a hand grenade or something. That would explain why he is such a sod.´

Lupin smiled at his friend, who was always prone to flights of fancy. `I would have detected that, wouldn´t I James?´

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Out on the now busy and packed platform, pupils were trying to find spaces, shove trunks onto carriages and say goodbye to their parents all at the same time. It was five minutes to eleven, and the slight shiver that the animated engine caused had increased as the driver prepared to begin the journey.

Lily Evans raked her dark red hair out of her flustered face and tried to manhandle the trunk up the narrow steps of a coach mid-way down the train. It was heavy and she was having not much luck; she had to let go and it slid from the bottom step onto the platform with a resounding thunk. Sighing, she climbed over it, showing off her slender legs clad in fitted blue jeans, and decided to push the bloody thing instead.

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`Pretty girl at ten o´clock!´ Sirius bounced up from his position and slid the compartment door open. As ever, he started commentating. `With an almost rakish grin, he smiles and turns to his companions and in his best Humphrey Bogart voice he says, "I´m off to help a broad in distress, care to join me boys?"´

`Why are you always Humphrey Bogart? Why can´t I be him for a change, Black?´ James playfully punched his friend as he stood up to follow.

`Well, Lupin is so pretty he has to be Lauren Bacall or Ingrid Bergman. I just am the god himself. You have to be Sam or a Nazi, I´m afraid.´ Dark eyes twinkled wickedly. `You´d look very sexy in the uniform...´

`Shut up you bastard!´ howled James, pushing Sirius out of the compartment. Lupin followed less flamboyantly. He did love his friends, perhaps more than they could ever guess, but they did take the biscuit, the cookie and the pavlova sometimes.

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`Well hellooooo Lauren Bacall! Remus Lupin. You have officially been replaced as sexiest person here and you therefore have to be Spencer Tracy.´ Sirius looked appreciatively upon the rather attractive redhead who was kicking her trunk rather violently. `I just love passionate, fiery ladies!´

`Do you need help with that?´ Lily looked up startled, emerald eyes widening as she saw three very attractive young men smiling at her. At least the one with the slightly greying hair and tired, sweet eyes was smiling. The roguish, handsome one with the broad shoulders was grinning almost suggestively, while his black-haired friend was looking at her with a mixture of awe, desire and adoration.

*Oh dear. Remus could recognise the signs; James was going into crush mode.*

`Could you? It´s awfully heavy and my parents had to drop me off.´ The one that she instinctively had thought was gentle and, well, nice, hooked his hand through the handle and pulled hard. The heavy box slid easily up the steep steps and into the carriage, where it was soon stored away. The handsome boy held out his hand, but it was knocked away by the hand of the one in glasses, who gave her a smile of such friendliness and mischievous chivalry that she took it with no qualms.

`Come and sit with us,´ said the one who was holding her hand, and she said that she would love to, if it was alright by them.

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Lily curled up on the seat that James had been sitting in - the one closest to the window. Getting on the train had been a close thing, for already the rumble of rails was to be heard as they slowly steamed northward out of the belly of King´s Cross station.

`We haven´t been properly introduced, have we?´ She turned her attention back to the young men. The handsome one, the one who had spoken, was reclining on the opposite seat, his head resting on the thigh of the sweet and surprisingly strong boy. She felt her eyebrow creep a centimetre up her forehead; this was interesting. The third was sitting in the lotus position next to her, elbows on knees and chin on interlaced fingers.

`I´m Sirius Black, and I am more than pleased to make your acquaintance.´ He held his hand out lazily, capturing hers and kissing it as if she was a medieval courtesan and he a knight desiring her favours. She gave him a small smile, her eyes glittering in response to the outrageous gesture. Lily could tell that this Grecian faced, broad-shouldered boy was charming, but it didn´t mean it washed with her. Okay. It did, she thought. He was good-looking - damn it Lily, stop beating around the bush. She had to admit that he was gorgeous with that dark, sleek head and mirthful dark eyes that reminded her of a naughty but intelligent puppy - but Lily knew from reputation that he was a player - the number of girls he had snogged was rather high. Most of her friends had a small crush on him at some time during their tenure at Hogwarts, but she, being a Ravenclaw, and a studious one at that, had never had the opportunity to see him up close in the flesh. Pretty, amusing and extremely likeable but watch out for him, she thought. He has heartbreaker written right through him like a stick of Skegness rock.

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`Hi! James...James Potter. Sorry - I didn´t catch your name.´ She knew who he was, of course she did. The Seeker for Gryffindor had his fans in other houses as well, and she had seen more Quidditch matches that she had wanted to because of her hormonal friends dragging her to watch him play. She also knew that he was head boy this year, and she grinned.

`Lily Evans from Ravenclaw - I´m the head girl.´ Her grin widened as he smiled in delight. He was not attractive, but there was something appealing about those shining, enthusiastic blue eyes and animated face. Even with his slightly scruffy appearance and glasses he still cut an scrummy figure. And his body ... even she had seen the streamlined grace of his torso through his Quidditch robes, his long, lean legs gripping the broom and forcing it to do his will. Even she, known as a swot, a Mudblood and an ice maiden, had dreamed about those fingers caressing her face, and curving mouth pressing on her soft lips. His reputation as brilliant scholar and rebel also iced the already delicious cake that was James Potter.

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Remus didn´t want to break the moment up, and he tried to ignore Sirius´ fingers digging into his knee to point out what was happening. He could see perfectly well that both parties liked each other. They liked each other a lot - it was very sweet really. Lupin always wished that there was someone out there that would look him as lovingly in the eyes as these two young people were doing at the moment. Bloody James and Sirius always had the pick of the girls; he was quite resigned that no one noticed him much but that did deflect about any awkward time of the month questions. If they did not notice him, they would not notice his affliction.

Finally, Lily and James tore their gaze away from each other, and the red-haired girl held out her hand. `And you are...?´

`Sorry.´ Remus blushed, eyes glancing downwards bashfully. He was naturally shy and always reacted like this to new people, especially if they were are pretty as Lily Evans. `I´m Remus Lupin.´ He looked at her under his eyelashes, going even pinker, while his ears started to feel as he could have fried an egg on them.

Lily shook his hand, eyes full of empathy. She instinctively liked this bashful unprepossessing young man; there was an air of melancholy that matched his gentle, slightly sad-eyed face that was endearing, and he was obviously the sanest of the three boys in the compartment. The silvering of his temples enhanced the air of quiet maturity, and it was obvious that he was the stabilising influence on the other two. Without Remus, Lily knew that Sirius and James would probably be even more notorious than they already were.

There was something else though, something deeper within him that Lily could sense, and she was curious enough to want to find out. After all, isn´t that what scholars did?

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As the journey wore on, the fields of wheat morphing into downs covered with the white flecks of distant sheep, they all bought supplies off the cheerful and round witch who manned the trolley. They were soon swapping Chocolate Frog Trading Cards.

`Not Merlin! I always get Merlin - it´s like these cards conspire against me or something.´ James gave a mock growl and attacked another box.

`I´ll have him then - I haven´t got him and he´s my favourite wizard.´ Lily tried to extract the card from James´ grip, but the boy held onto it.

`You´ll have to do something for it!´

Lily arched an eyebrow, green eyes flashing fire. `Name your price, Potter.´

`A date.´

`Sure thing. Now give me my Merlin.´

James gave her the card and the gentlest touch on the cheekbone with his lips.

`Hey!´ Sirius sounded perturbed. `You never kissed me when I gave you my cards. I want a kiss and I want one now, Potter. You have neglected my love for you and I am dying of consumption and ... yes, my darling James ... I ADORE you! Give us a snog before I pop my clogs!´

`I´d rather French-kiss a walrus with poor dental hygiene.´

`I always knew you were a kinky so and so.´

`Go on James, give him a kiss. I won´t mind.´ Lily giggled. Boys in their natural habitat - it was like a very strange version of Magical Creatures. `A man who can get in touch with his feminine side is shown to be more caring and loving towards their partner, or so I have heard.´

`I like her! She knows stuff,´ commented Sirius to no one in particular. `Go on James - Lily told you too...´

After much mock-grumbling and protests about how kissing his best friend would be wrong and silly and gross everyone else out, James stood up, cleared his throat, straightened his robe and gave Sirius a smacker right on the lips.

`Ah! I can expire in peace, now the world has, at last, given me my Jamie....toodle pip!´ Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes, trying not to start snickering.

Remus poked him hard. `Sirius, if you are going to be dead, the least you can do is stop breathing.´ A long tongue poked out in response. `Ah well - at least it wasn´t the fingers.´ In response, the V-sign was flicked by both hands. `James, Lily? Do you think we have a case of rigor mortis here?´

`Undoubtedly. He is definitely dead.´ Lily, would you do the honour of funeral rites?´ James graciously handed his new friend a copy of `Hogwarts - A History´ and they all tried to ignore the frantically shaking corpse as it tried not to giggle madly.

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By the time the Hogwarts Express steamed lethargically into Hogsmeade, James and Lily were holding hands.