Snake And Wolf: The Finding

I hope you have as much fun reading this as I have writing it.

Snake and Wolf: The Finding

Chapter 7

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Severus Snape tossed and turned in his sleep. His dreams were troubled, as they always were, and of the past.

The first thing he saw was that first fateful meeting of the Death Eaters, when he, a foolish boy just out of Hogwart’s, had joined their ranks. He had been so proud then, which vain ideas of what it would be like to be one of Voldemort’s feared Death Eaters.

Then it shifted to his first raid. He remembered how shocked he had been. It had not been what he had imagined.

The dream continued to shift, winding up through different raids and meetings, his childhood innocence vanishing little by little with each raid until it was gone. He turned harsher and colder then he had been at Hogwart’s to Potter and his gang. The only thing that could brighten the shadow upon his soul had been his little sister. Her laughter was like a blast of cold water, making him wish he had never joined Voldemort.

But what was done could not be undone.

Then his dream shifted to the one memory he wanted to escape forever. The moment his heart had clenched in fear.

The moment two Death Eater’s brought forward Lily Potter among other women they had kidnapped.

Then came those frightful words.

“Choose one Severus.”

He saw Lucius Malfoy staring right at Lily and he snarled inside. He had to choose her. Malfoy would kill her.

Steeling his will he stepped forward and pointed his wand at Lily, who was screaming wordlessly and kicking at her captors.

“Dormio.”

Lily fell silent, asleep in her captor’s arms.

He then heard the next frightful words.

“A wonderful choice Severus.”

Severus tossed on the couch, wanting to get away from that soft, malicious voice. But he couldn’t. The dream continued.

He watched Lucius glare at him as he stepped forward to take Lily from her captives. Picking her up in his arms he walked towards the stairs. Going up them he looked down at her, wishing he could get her out of the place. But he couldn’t. Not without risking her death and his own. He would gladly die but he knew she would as well.

Crying inside he leaned down and whispered, “I’m so sorry Lily. Forgive me.”

* * * * *

“NO!”

Severus awoke with a start and fell off the couch with a loud thump.

Saerry poked her head out of the bedroom, her hair disheveled, her eyes bleary from sleep.

“Sev? What’s wrong?”

Severus picked himself up off the floor, grabbing the blanket that he must have kicked off during his dream, and replied, “Nothing Saer. Go back to sleep.”

“Sev . .”

He whirled to face her and snapped angrily, “Its nothing!”

Saerry nodded, not at all perturbed by his anger. She was the only one who didn’t fear him or hate him.

“I’m sorry Sev. Its not my place to ask you about your dreams. Good night.”

With that she closed the door before he could say a word.

Sinking down onto the couch he closed his eyes and dropped his head into his hands. He could still see the last part of the dream and what lay beyond it. That he had to dredge up out of memory. But he remembered it. The one thing he would give his own life to change.

“Dreams don’t show horrible things little sister. Only nightmares.”

Sighing he cursed himself and thought, Lily, Lily, I’m so sorry. For everything that happened to you. For what I did. If I could change it I would. But your gone and now I can’t. Except, maybe, through your son. I hope you hear me wherever you are and forgive me.

Lying back down onto the couch Severus lay awake, staring at the ceiling.

He was in that position all night.

And he was there when his sister awoke in the morning.