Don't Stay

~*~*~*~*~*~

Sometimes I
Need to remember just to breathe
Sometimes I
Need you to stay away from me

~*~*~*~*~*~

They say I'll get better. That I just need some help now and then. If only they really knew...if only they really knew what you had done to me, Tom.

Oh, their precious little Ginny will most definitely be fine. She just had a little spook in her! Nothing to worry about.

Nothing to worry about indeed. They weren't there when you had me do those awful things. Sure, killing chickens is one thing, but to use me to open up something so foul, so disgusting, it's just...wrong.

Mum and dad don't know why I never really got over the whole possession thing. Well, they've never been possessed, now, have they?

Bill felt guilty about the whole thing. He thought a quick trip to Egypt would clear up my head. Please.

Charlie offered to take me to Romania sometime, but I quickly declined. I have no want or need to be burned alive.

Percy...well, what to say about Percy. He offered his "condolences" and, quite awkwardly and amusingly, also offered a chance to talk, if needed.

Fred and George. What a pair those two are. They can make me smile, even if just a bit--whenever I need it most, I guess.

And Ron. Dearest Ron. He watches me like a hawk now. He thinks he failed me as a big brother because he never paid that much attention to me. It wasn't his fault I went and foolishly wrote in a diary that wrote back.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Sometimes I'm
In disbelief I didn't know
Somehow I
Need you to go

~*~*~*~*~*~

How could I have been that stupid? It wrote back. Not only that...it, well, it felt back, if that makes any sense. I wonder if Tom was an empath, you know, able to know what others feel and all that. It seems almost right that he was, because he just knew exactly what to say to make me feel a certain way.

Oh, hey, that rhymed.

Before I met Tom, I would have said something naively girlish like 'I'm a poet and didn't know it' or something to that effect.

But wait, is that so naively girlish? It seems as though I've had to grow up too fast. Pity, that. I never got to know the bliss of being a regular eleven year old. Or twelve year old, or even the 'I'm officially a teenager!' thirteen.

Here I am now, at the wonderfully dull age of 17. Oh yes, dull. Final year at Hogwarts. Since Voldemort was defeated last year and Harry, Ron, and Hermione all went off and became adults, little Ginny Weasley was left to become...nothing.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Sometimes I
Feel like I trusted you too well
Sometimes I
Just feel like screaming at myself

~*~*~*~*~*~

The last battle was the funniest thing I ever saw. There was literally nothing to it. The Order found a spell, Harry cast it, Voldemort died--end of story. Hardly any deaths at all. Most of the Death Eaters are either on the run or in Azkaban, waiting to be kissed by Dementors.

Lucius Malfoy was the first one to be kissed, the little bastard. I was there that day. The Death Eater trials and executions, if they could even be called that, were a rather private thing. The public just couldn't be trusted around them. It was awful-those first few trials when there was no restrictions on those watching. No order what-so-ever.

So they put restrictions on those allowed to attend. Lucius Malfoy's trial was a big thing. Everyone wanted to get in. Only official Order members were allowed...

...then there was me and Draco.

Oh yes, ever the turncoat, that one. I still laugh when I remember Lucius' face when he finally realized his precious little heir had been the one to help bring his own father down. That is one expression that I will most definitely be taking with me to the grave.

The Malfoy trial was probably the shortest one of all. It would have been second shortest if Voldemort was still alive. All the securities that Lucius put up to insure himself came crashing down in a span of five minutes once Draco was called to the stand. The only two words I heard him speak the whole time he was being questioned was 'yes' and 'no'. Those five minutes had certainly condemned Lucius Malfoy to at least life-sentencing in Azkaban, but I guess they just had to call me up 'just to make sure'.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Sometimes I'm
In disbelief I didn't know
Somehow I
Need to be alone

~*~*~*~*~*~

Now, those five minutes when I was scrutinized and inspected were probably the worst of my entire life. The whole scandal from my first year that I had so beautifully put away came crashing down on me. Question after horrible question was fired, and I dutifully answered. I believe I was on auto-pilot, as Hermione says. I heard the questions and gave answers, but the whole time I only thought of one person, and it certainly wasn't Lucius Malfoy.

All I saw were those bewitching eyes, drilling into me. I remember not being able to look away when I was eleven. You were real then, Tom. And now, even where you're a memory in mind when I'm seventeen; I still can't look away.

And just like that I was shaken out of my stupor and told to take my seat beside by brother Ron and my mum. She held me close to her, probably thinking I needed to cry. But I was far from crying. I think I forgot how.

You made me forget how to cry, Tom.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities

~*~*~*~*~*~

When was the last time I cried? You know, it's kinda hard to remember. I think it was right before Harry came. You had me pushed against the wall in the chamber...it was right after you actually became somewhat corporeal. All I remember is actually seeing your eyes that I had envisioned so many times looking at me with love suddenly looking at me with hatred and loathing...and mocking. That's what hurt the most.

I had so childishly spilled my little heart to you and I honestly don't know how you took it. I guess the knowledge of what was planned made you tolerate my ramblings and rantings.

I probably bored you to tears...but then again, if I can't remember how to cry...how can you?

~*~*~*~*~*~

What you were changing me into
[Just give me myself back and]

~*~*~*~*~*~

I've been turned into some sort of monster. I can't cry-I can't feel. What use am I? I was perfectly content to go through my Hogwarts years without being noticed, without a care in the world. And then you had to come and crash my party--with your tantalizing words and enticing phrases.

I was eleven! Merely a babe in others' eyes!

But you made me a woman in my own. Oh how I hated it--all the corrections and improvements that you said would make me more noticeable. Oh, you certainly made me more noticeable. Just not in the way I really wanted. I'm a monster.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities

~*~*~*~*~*~

You know what really gets me sometimes? I can't, for the life of me, even begin to wonder why Lucius Malfoy chose me. Was it his personal vendetta against the Weasley family? Was it because I was conveniently there?

Or did you know, Tom? Did you choose me somehow? I do remember when I asked you that in the chamber, right before I felt my own soul being sucked out of me.

"Why me?"

I can't recall your answer, Tom. But I do remember the words 'pathetic' and 'weak' in your mumbled response. But then you looked at me, caressed my cheek...

...and then it went dark.

Well, one good thing that came out of this whole fiasco. I'll never sell my soul to the devil, that's for sure.

Or maybe I already have.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Take all your faithlessness with you
[Just give me myself back and]

~*~*~*~*~*~

You see, Tom, I've come to a conclusion.

What you made me to be...this emotionless monster of yours...is because of that small exchange in the chamber. Harry likes to think he came to my rescue right on time.

Oh no, he was late. Not too late, but late.

The soul of the young Lord Voldemort was worming its way inside me.

I have a theory, Tom. Oh yes, my theories certainly didn't die when you did. Indulge me, just once more, Tom.

Ones' soul is like a circle. When you needed my own life to return yours to you...you started slicing away at my soul. You needed a new life elixir...and breath of fresh air, so to speak. But you certainly couldn't have two souls...could you? So you replaced mine with yours.

Now, when Harry destroyed you, your soul was somehow sucked back inside you...after all...it was a dead soul. But, again, somehow--you kept part of my soul.

I got stuck with part of yours.

Lucky me.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Don't Stay

I don't need you anymore
I don't want to be ignored
~*~*~*~*~*~

I hate you, Tom. There's no other way to say it. I despise you for what you did to me.

You made me...well, me.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I don't need one more day
Of you wasting me away

With no apologies

~*~*~*~*~*~

End Fic