Snape In Love

Chapter 50

I'll Kiss You Until Heaven Sends You

The next day Severus accompanied me to the hospital wing, before disappearing with Persephone to go for a walk in the grounds.

"Come and find us when you've finished here, I should think we'll be at Godric's Seat by then," he instructed, putting his hands to my neck and drawing me to him for a lingering kiss, his thumbs gently caressing my jaw.

Madam Pomfrey listened sympathetically as I poured it all out to her. I told her how tired and inadequate I felt, how I wanted to cry at the smallest thing, and how nervous I felt about the wedding, too.

"I want it all to be perfect!! And I don't want to spoil it by feeling like this! I don't want to remember feeling miserable on my wedding day! I love him! And - and I miss him so much! He makes me...ache for him." I hesitated, dropping my eyes, embarrassed. "On our wedding night, I want - well, I want it to be perfect," I finished, looking at her to ascertain whether or not she guessed the meaning I intended to impart.

She frowned slightly, but not unkindly.

"Come on, then. Let's have a look at you. I'm sure I can speed the healing process up a bit for you, if you're sure that's what you want?"

"Absolutely certain!" I said fervently.

I lay down on one of the infirmary's beds and Madam Pomfrey drew the screens around, although the ward was empty, in case we were disturbed.

I drew up my knees and then let them fall apart, and she performed a perfunctory examination before returning to her office, and the private store beyond. She returned presently with her wand and a small pot of an alarmingly bright blue ointment. Noticing my discomfiture, she said,

"Oh, don't worry, dear! It's not as bad as it looks! And may I say, you're healing remarkably well all on your own! You must have managed your breathing very well, and had quite a competent midwife!"

"Severus helped me."

"Of course he did, dear. Now, there is some labial grazing, but the ointment should soon cure that - and it will work well inside, too, along with a few healing charms."

The ointment felt icy cold and made me gasp in surprise as she applied a generous amount.

"Use this twice a day until your wedding day. The bleeding should have stopped completely by Thursday, and I'll come to see you on Saturday morning to give you the all-clear for your wedding night."

"Really? Oh, that's wonderful! Madam Pomfrey...I don't want Severus to know about this. I want to surprise him."

"Well I certainly won't be discussing such matters with him!" she spluttered. "Your - conjugal activities are your own affair! Now, lie still, this won't take long."

Holding her wand over my lower abdomen, Madam Pomfrey recited several healing charms that left me tingling inside. The icy coldness of the ointment had spread as she moved her wand over me, and I began to feel an unpleasant griping pain in my groin. Grimacing and trying to remain still until she had completed her incantations, my forehead began to sweat and I moaned in pain. She stopped, and looked up at me.

"I'm sorry, dear. I should have warned you to expect a little discomfort. But I'm accelerating a healing process that Nature dictates should take several weeks. And, if I may say so, I'm improving on Nature by returning your body to its pre-delivery state, as far as your internal muscle elasticity is concerned!"

"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey," I murmured, blushing, knowing that Severus would no doubt have thanked her too, if he had known.

And now I knew that I had to carry out Gruber's procedure on our wedding night. If I did, I would be able to make full use of the magic that would be all around on our wedding day. If I could harness its force, direct it somehow into my spell, I felt sure I could not fail. The prospect was exhilarating, but at the same time I was absolutely terrified, aware of how much was at stake.

Afterwards I sat on the edge of the bed, adjusting my clothing while Madam Pomfrey brought me another jar of the ointment.

"About the tearfulness...I'm a little scared I'll start getting things out of perspective again..."

"It will pass, dear. You have a lot of adjusting to do, and this would be a stressful time for anyone. And what you're feeling now is only to be expected."

"But I should be so happy! I am happy, I want this more than anything!"

"Of course you do! But that doesn't mean all this isn't still a difficult time! And anyway, I'm sure you'll feel better now that you've got something to look forward to?" she finished with a knowing smile.

I left the infirmary in much better spirits, having made my momentous decision, and I returned to the dungeons to hide the large jar of ointment before setting off eagerly to find Severus and Persephone. On my way through the castle, heading for the door that led eventually to the greenhouses, and thence to Godric's Seat, I bumped into Sirius.

"Ella! Where's Persephone? And Sn - er, Severus?"

"Hello! I'm just on my way to meet them now. What're you up to?"

"Oh, just...skulking around, you know."

He looked very uncomfortable. Shifty, even.

"Sirius, what's wrong?" I said, putting my hand on his arm.

"Nothing! Well...the truth is, I knew you'd be coming along this way. I'd transfigured, and I could smell your scent. Hah! I still can," he laughed sadly.

"Oh, I..." I looked down at myself, lifting my arms away from my body, looking down at my full breasts and wondering whether I needed to shower.

"No, Ella, I didn't mean that you - it's just that everyone has a distinctive scent, and yours is very...memorable. For me."

I looked up at him curiously and saw a trace of emotion in his eyes. Regret? Love?

"Anyway," he continued, clearing his throat, "I wanted - I just wanted to wish you well. For your wedding."

I stepped towards him and slipped my arms around his waist, hugging him. After a moment he hugged me back fiercely, then released me.

"Thanks, Sirius. For everything." I said, looking up into his clear blue eyes. He nodded, and said,

"Go on. He'll be wondering where you've got to. And we don't want him coming looking for you, and finding you with me!" he joked ruefully. "Oh, and by the way, Hermione's got your dress. It arrived this morning."

I emerged on the other side of the arch that led from the greenhouses to the side lawn, and looked across to Godric's Seat. He was there, sitting on the bench, the 'Pushing Chair' (I smiled to myself) beside him. There was a slight breeze, and it blew his hair as it lay across his collar. As I watched him the wind picked up, and he leaned forward to pull up the hood of the pushchair in order to shelter his daughter. He stayed like that for several seconds, peering in at her, and my heart leapt in my chest as if it was too full to be imprisoned there any longer. Watching him with his daughter always made me feel that way. He sat back and I walked up behind him intending to surprise him.

"You've been ages! I think she's waking up!" he complained over his shoulder as I approached, nodding towards Persephone.

I stood behind him and slipped my arms around his neck, kissing his cheek tenderly.

"I was trying to sneak up on you!"

He looked sideways at me, unconvinced, and said matter-of-factly,

"You'd have to do better than that to surprise a Death Eater and a spy!"

"Ex Death Eater!"

"Ex. And you'd have to approach me from downwind, too."

"Damn it! Do I need a shower?"

"No," he answered curiously. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, nothing," I frowned, walking round to the pushchair and peeping in. Persephone was sleeping peacefully, but her tiny rosebud lips kept puckering and, if she was dreaming at all, I was sure it was about what to have for her lunch. I put my hand on Severus' shoulder.

"We should get back. She'll wake up soon."

"I told you that," he replied pointedly, taking my hand. "Come and sit here for a minute."

I sat beside him and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Look over there," he instructed, pointing at the foothills on the other side of the lake. "That's where we'll be in four days."

"Do you think I made a good choice?"

"Over there? I'll let you know on Saturday! Now, tell me, what did Poppy have to say?"

"Oh, about my mood swings? She told me it was normal, and that it would soon wear off, and that...that I should look forward to Saturday."

He put both arms around me and kissed me ardently.

"And are you?"

"Mmm..." I sighed, as we broke apart. "More than anything! We really should go now, love."

Severus traced my cheek with his long, sensitive fingers, sending a thrill down my spine and pulling an invisible cord in my groin. His eyes burned into mine and I wished I could fully consummate the need we both felt.

"Only four more days," I told myself as I gazed at his sensuous, moist lips, slightly parted, inches from mine. "Four more days, and I will let those lips travel all over me and exult in it."

Persephone was rooting quite determinedly by the time we reached our chambers, and I settled down in the nursery to feed her. Soon after, Severus let Hermione in and she joined me in the turret, obviously itching to tell me about the dress, which she had stashed away in her old school bag. Severus looked at her, and the bag, very suspiciously, but made no comment and muttered about going into his office. Once he had gone, Hermione told me excitedly,

"Oh, Ella, I've got our dresses in here! They came this morning, they're gorgeous! You've got to try yours on!"

"I will, when Persephone's finished. I'll have to lock the door, I don't want Severus to see it."

I did not need to worry, for Severus returned from his office soon after to inform us that Dumbledore had returned from his meeting with the Acting Minister, and that he was going to go to his office at once, to find out what had transpired.

"Severus, don't go saying you'll - "

"I won't!" he interrupted, exasperated, before giving me a half smile, more with his eyes than his lips, and closing the door. I heard a swoosh from the chimney breast, the flue being shared with the nursery, and knew that he had gone.

"I hope they find them," said Hermione. "Voldemort's death would make a wonderful wedding present!"

"Yes, it would. Speaking of which...I have the perfect wedding present for Severus. I'm going to get rid of the Dark Mark on our wedding night!"

"Oh, Ella, you can't! Not then!"

"Why not? There couldn't be a better time!"

"But - but what if it doesn't work?"

"What if it does?" I insisted. "The air will be full of magic that day! And my milk's come now, and - and - and, well, he's fascinated, always was, even before, and, er, well...I'm certain I can get him to drink it!"

Hermione's eyes widened, and she blushed. I joined her, well aware that I had broached a taboo subject, especially to the ears of an eighteen year old girl.

"Mmm. Well, I hope you're right. It's such a risk!"

"I have to be right," I said solemnly. "And I have to try."

We sat in thoughtful silence for a while, and once I had changed a surprisingly quiescent, cooperative Persephone, I gave her to Hermione to hold while I opened Hermione's bag.

The dress was truly beautiful. Madam Malkin had fulfilled all of my requirements and yet exceeded my wildest expectations. The fabric shimmered in shades of royal blue, green and silver, the emphasis shifting in its folds in accordance with the way the light fell on it as it moved. When first deciding on the type of fabric I had wanted, I had remembered an evening gown my mother had once owned, bought from a very exclusive Muggle dress shop. It had been of shot taffeta, blue shot with green, and I had loved the effect and that colour combination ever since. This particular fabric being magical, the effect was intensified tenfold, and the dress would hang more fluidly than stiff taffeta ever could.

I stripped off to my undergarments and slipped the dress over my head eagerly.

It was long sleeved, the underside of the sleeves tapering to a point, with a scooped neck and tightly fitted bodice that emphasised my breasts. Below, the skirt flared out, since Madam Malkin had designed it to fit me while nine months pregnant, but she had thoughtfully tried to amend her design to reduce the fullness at the front, and she had also provided a gold kirtle, to match the gold trim of the dress and the gold embroidery on the bodice. The skirt was longer at the back than at the front, and it pooled on the floor behind my feet. Unfortunately, Madam Malkin's guess as to my post-partum shape had of necessity been somewhat imprecise, and the gown sagged somewhat.

"Oh, Hermione, look! I know she's altered it, but I don't think I can wear it like this!"

"Don't worry, I can do a shrink-to-fit charm on it."

"But look at all the stitching on the bodice, it won't look right..."

Hermione took out her wand and pointed it at the dress, saying in her firmest voice,

"Ornatus diminutio!"

There was a flash of pink sparks and Hermione's wand flew from her hand, clattering against the window behind her. The dress remained unaltered.

"She's warded it!" Hermione said, her eyes wide. "The sly old - well that's one way to retain artistic control, I suppose!"

"Great. Looks like I'll have to go back to Diagon Alley for another fitting, doesn't it?" I muttered, pulling and straightening the fabric around my waist and hips.

"Yes. But it still looks fabulous! You look like - like one of those Pre-Raphaelite Muggle paintings!"

"Like a Rosetti? That's what inspired me!" I grinned. "That and my mum. Try yours too!"

Hermione stood, and placed Persephone carefully in her cot, and then she too tried on her dress. It was in a similar fabric to my own, only hers was, naturally enough, in deep red shot with gold. It was sleeveless, in a Greek style, with a low back. It suited her, and together we peeped out through the door into the living room to make sure we were still alone.

Creeping out, we went to stand in front of the large mirror that I had placed above the dining table at the far end of the room, and we stood there side by side admiring ourselves and discussing how to wear our hair for some considerable time.

At length, I remembered that the fireplace lay between the mirror and the nursery door, and suggested that we retreat there to change, lest Severus return and catch us. I did not for one minute believe in the silly Muggle superstition of bad luck, but I did want Severus to be taken totally by surprise when he saw me on our wedding day.

We had just finished folding the gowns and concealing them in Hermione's bag once more when I heard Severus return. Hermione followed me out into the living room and I went up to Severus, who was standing by one of the windows, looking out.

"Well?" I asked putting my hand on his arm. He squeezed it and frowned down at me, casting a quick glance at Hermione but not otherwise acknowledging her continued presence.

"He seems to think that Acting Minister Factor took him seriously. Aurors will be sent to Ms. Skeeter's old address and her new one too, but they need to be recalled. They're still swarming all over Eastern Europe, chasing up blind alleys. Damn it all, if only the three of us could have finished them off when we had them cornered!"

"You were all nearly killed, love!" I reminded him. "You were lucky to get out of there alive!"

He sighed heavily and ran his hand over his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers tiredly.

"Yes, yes, I know, but it's small consolation when I know how close we were! And to have this still burning!" he muttered, indicating his left forearm.

"Small consolation?" I said incredulously, unable to prevent my voice from rising slightly.

"Er...I'd better get going, I need to go to the library!" Hermione squeaked hurriedly, scrambling to her feet and grabbing her bag. She left the room almost at a run, and I turned to Severus once more and repeated,

"Small consolation?"

His chin jutted out a little as he said defiantly,

"When I think of everything that was at stake - we could have changed the world, Ella! Really made a difference!"

I stared at him, unsure of whether to berate him further or just hug him. At length, I said quietly,

"You'll just have to settle for changing my world, Severus. And yours. You've made up for your past."

"Then why do I still feel so guilty?"

I shrugged as I walked slowly towards him.

"I don't think I'd love you quite so much if you didn't. It's part of you. It tells me who you are. The kind of man you are."

His expression softened, and as I neared him he took both of my hands in his and bent down to brush his lips against mine. His hair fell around his face and tickled my cheeks and I shivered as he took my top lip between his and sucked it gently. With a heavy sigh, his arms slipped around my waist and I felt him relax against me, the tension and the moroseness dissipating as fast as our kiss deepened. After a while his hand began to press hard against the small of my back and I sank against him in a delicious surrender.

"I think we should go to bed now," he murmured salaciously, staring deep into my eyes. "I haven't heard you scream out my name in a long, long time...I'm sure I can think of a way to...please you."

I sighed his name, melting, and a wolfish smile flashed quickly over his face. Hand in hand, he pulled me towards the bedroom and I smiled secretly, anticipating his surprise and pleasure on our wedding night.

He undressed me agonisingly slowly, never taking his eyes from mine until his hands began to travel over my naked breasts. His thumbs brushed my nipples and I shuddered as they hardened at his touch. He looked down then, sinking to his knees and then stretching up a little to flick his tongue across the tips. He kissed and licked my waist and stomach as he slid my trousers and briefs to the floor, then dipped his tongue in and out of my navel before gently pushing me towards the bed.

Stretched out beside me, still fully clothed, Severus ran his hand up and down my back until the small of my back tingled unbearably and I pressed my body up against his, and wrapped my leg around him. My nipples brushed against the stiff fabric of his frock coat and across the buttons that were still fastened all the way up to his neck. I groaned and arched my back, wriggling so that the highly sensitised nubs were stimulated once more. He cupped my right breast in his left hand and slowly stroked his thumb across the tip before pinching it gently between his thumb and forefinger, causing me to leak over his fingers. He stopped kissing me for a moment, drawing back and staring silently into my eyes before lifting his hand to his mouth and licking my foremilk from his fingers. The deliberate sensuality of his actions made me pant, and he smiled as he lowered his head to my breast, rubbing me again, his nose stroking up and down each side of my nipple, and then across the top, then flicking his tongue around my areola before taking it in his mouth and teasing it with his tongue. I found what he was doing to me incredibly erotic and the pang of desire I felt for him spread from my groin until every nerve ending felt on fire for him. His left hand relinquished my breast and was soon tantalisingly close to my inner thighs.

"Are you still sore?" he murmured against my breast.

"No, not now!" I gasped, silently thanking Madam Pomfrey for the ointment and hoping no traces of blue remained visible.

"Still bleeding, though?"

"Yes. Not as much."

"Hmm."

He let his fingers press against my mound and growled deep in his throat as he felt how desperately wet I was for him. I bucked as he found my most sensitive spot and he laughed softly and began to trace light circles around it with his fingertips, all the while nuzzling and flicking his tongue over my breasts.

"You feel so hot down there...mmm...and I can think of something to please you..." he murmured slyly.

"Ah! You are pleasing me! Oh, Gods..."

He withdrew his finger and held it up before us, an almost evil smile on his face as he called,

"Accio wand!" He sat up for a moment and I panted heavily, wondering what he intended to do. Pointing his wand at his finger, he smirked,

"Frigido digit!" He slid his arm under me once more, and continued, "I think this might be just what you need to cool you down, love!"

I stiffened and arched my back in shock as my burning folds sizzled against his icy finger. It felt incredible, and I could feel my every nerve ending singing for him, wanting him, worshiping him

"Scream for me," he urged. I moaned in ecstasy as his gentle strokes became more insistent. I could feel the stiff cuff of his jacket as it rubbed rhythmically against my mound, and I rose against his gentle, insistent fingers as they fluttered over my sex, stroking it swiftly and persistently, finally acceding to my breathless pleas for more.

"Scream for me, Ella! Louder!" he repeated, pinning down my left leg with his right before taking my right nipple fully into his mouth and sucking hard, grunting in appreciation as he drank from me. My orgasm slammed through me with such force as he did this that I did, indeed, scream,

"Aah! Severus! Oh! Oh! Severus!" as I writhed mindlessly beneath him. I shuddered uncontrollably as I came down from my peak of excitement, and he lifted his head to gaze into my eyes. His own were clouded with passion and he smiled at me almost lazily, my milk dribbling from the corner of his mouth.

Moving back up the bed, he deliberately ran his finger over his full, sensual lips before sliding it into his mouth and running his tongue over it, combining two tastes of me and closing his eyes with a slow half-smile. I gasped then as he withdrew his finger and covered my parted lips with his and gently probed my mouth with his tongue. I could taste myself in his mouth, a sweet, rich taste, and he held me close to him masterfully. I felt weak, completely drained, and barely had the strength to wind my arms around his neck. At length, he released me and pulled the quilt over me, up to my chin.

"Where are you going?" I asked. "Won't you get in here with me?"

"Ah, no, you need to get your strength back!"

Looking exceptionally pleased with himself, he kissed my cheek and straightened up, adjusting his frock coat and flicking back his hair.

"Every inch the potions master I've always loved so much," I noted, "Buttoned up tight and sexy as Hell!" His smug smile broadened as I continued, "I didn't even get to undo one of those buttons!"

"No, but I got what I wanted!" he smirked. "You screamed just as I told you to, with no argument! And I got to find out what keeps my daughter so happy!"

"What was it like? To do what you did?" I asked, hoping for a positive reaction since it would make my task on our wedding night far easier.

"Amazing," he said seriously, before flashing me one of his all-too-rare brilliant smiles and disappearing through to the nursery.

I stretched luxuriantly and closed my eyes, happily imagining what our wedding day would be like. And, of course, our wedding night.