Secrets

Dear Journal ,

It's just unfair!

All the girls in the world THROW themselves at him, even I do! But he still hasn't decided to get a girlfriend. Not one beyond Cho, that is. It's so irritating. Sometimes I ask myself what's Cho got that I haven't? I find myself beautiful... sometimes. Of course it's that unique, not everyday beautiful beauty. Sometimes I ask myself, Why Harry? What's so special about him? Of course I CAN answer that...

He's Kind...

Cute...

Smart...

Brave...

And ofcourse, He's the boy Who Lived. No Wizard will ever be able to match up to his kind of power. It's the power in him, I suppose.

Yours Truly,

Ginny

Ginny placed her small and tattered journal in her trunk at the foot of her bed, and then covered it with an assortment of junk.

'I know its better than corresponding with the epitome of evil...'

Ginny thought as she looked longingly out the window in the girls' bedroom and gazed at the stars.

'But it's much lonelier too...'

She thought again before laying down and falling asleep.

-------------------

The next day Ginny woke bright and early. It was the beginning of something new. She could feel it in her stomach. She woke up at 3:00 in the morn. It was her dreams that kept her awake. All she could think of was Harry. Although most girls didn't like to admit it... Ginny had, naughty, dreams. Erotic ones. The sexual tension was always worse right before her time of the month too. She never could sleep in these periods. It was then that Ginny made a resolution... She got up quickly, full of spirit and inspiration! She was going to do her hair that day! She was going to wear makeup today! She was going to wear her best robes today! Harry was going to notice her, today...

Ginny showered quickly. Lathering up with special soap that made her skin smell like vanilla. 'This'll make him want to eat me right up' She thought with a sly smile on her face.

She used a complicated spell that made her hair stay down today. 'No braids!' She also used special cream that made it look silky and shiny as well.

She put a matching vanilla scented powder all over her body. It also made her skin shimmer. 'The shine from the glitter will catch his eye...'

She gingerly put on all her best makeup. She used eye shadow that made the specs in her eyes stand out. The peach-flavored lip gloss that made her freckles look inciting. 'Good idea for when he gets so over-heated that he pulls me into the closet and kisses me with wild passion!'

She dressed in her best (and brand new) robe..

She had done everything right, she felt good. It was time to giver herself a once over in the mirror. As usual, her expectations had exceeded her hopes.

She didn't look so special... Her hair just looked greasy.. The makeup job was too mature for her young face. Too much of that powder made her look like a disco ball, and the vanilla scent was giving her a headache.

So with heavy dismay, she took off her new robes, folded them up, and placed them back into the trunk. Then she took out her older ones, went back to the showers and began to clean herself off just as all the other girls woke up.

'Another day' She thought sorrowfully 'another day...'

-------------------

She got ready. Went down to the dining hall. Didn't listen to dumbledore as he made announcements about the Quidditch teams but instead watched Harry as he watched Cho... Sadly, Harry had to leave for something. Probably about quidditch... Ginny then focused her attention to her eggs. She was so alone. Maybe the reason Harry didn't notice her, or didn't WANT to notice her was because she was fat. Maybe she could lose a couple of pounds. Yes, because the skinny irish girl always needs to do that... Oh, she knew she wouldn't stick to it anyway.

After a couple of classes of being ignored as usual and wondering if the Slytherin boys snickering and looking in her direction were actually talking about her. Ginny slumped back into her depressed and calm mood.

But then came potions, and Ginny realized her homework had not gotten done! She rushed into class and quickly asked her desk partner for the answers. She reluctantly gave them up. 'Oh sure, when I need answers it's a pain. But when SHE needs them it's quite all right'. Ginny wasn't able to get the 6 essay questions copied, nor would her partner let her. Hopefully Snape wouldn't look through the papers.

Two seconds after class started Snape emerged from a darkened corridor and entered the dungeon. He swooped by gently, as if walking on air and took the papers from each student. He walked back in front of the class and placed them gently on his desk. He then turned and looked around the classroom. His black eyes almost covering them all up. He began talking about something long and boring. Ginny decided to fantasize about Harry.

Near the end of his lecture Ginny had thought she and her classmates were home free... There were no other stacks of paper on Snape's desk, so he had to have not been assigning any homework for today. But Ginny soon realized she should think twice before dismissing usual rotten habits of the most hated teach in all of Hogwarts. Just before the end of class he pulled out a huge stack of papers and began passing them out to everyone. Then he took a seat at his large and intimidating desk.

He began scanning through the papers. Ginny felt her stomach tighten. 'Please don't see mine, please don't see mine.' But sure enough...

'Ms.Weasley, what is the potion used to keep ones self from going insane when pulling a mandrake from the ground, and why does it have a temporary side-effect of deafness?' Snape drawled. Ginny was frozen. It was one of the essay questions she didn't do.

Everyone around her was whispering the answer. Some jerk Slytherins were whispering a false one. Ginny's throat was tight and her hands clammy.

"I don't know" she barely whispered.

"What was that?" Snape asked rather loudly. His black eyes were fixed on her. SURELY he had to be hearing all the whispers.

Ginny didn't know what to do. So instead of using her first instinct, she decided to trust the Slytherins, and say the false answer.

The slytherins began to snicker, the Gryffindors frowned at her and Snape looked back down. "Detention Ms.Weasley". He muttered coldly. Ginny looked down..

* * * * *

'Detention' Ginny thought to herself. She knew her grades were slipping. More so than usual. 'Just because I didn't answer a couple questions?' She knew this was bound to happen. 'Snape is an ASSHOLE!' But she wouldn't admit it to herself.

Ginny went to the common room. As she walked in she saw him. Standing there, around all the beautiful people. Well, except for Ron of course. All of them were laughing and talking. All of them so popular. How Ginny dreamed of being one of them...

Harry was looking particularly handsome today.. His silky black hair, covering his forehead. Those mysterious and lively green eyes.. His skinny yet muscular form.

She knew Harry wasn't as shallow as all the people around him. She knew how he really was. Shy, and sweet. She knew Harry better than most of the girls and guys surrounding him. But....Of course... she KNEW.... he was too good for her.... But that was another thing she'd rather not admit to herself..

As she went up to her room she began to do her homework. But got a headache, as usual. She spotted Parvati and Lavender's makeup and jewelry on their beds. So many pretty things they had... They always looked so perfect. Sometimes Ginny would watch them put on their makeup. They did it so well. Then she'd watch them do their perfectly straight and silky hair. It all seemed to fall into place. It usually inspired her to try and look pretty. Ginny remembered a long time ago when her mother put on makeup and pretty jewelry. She'd usually be going out with her father on those days. Her mother looked and smelled so perfect that after they left Ginny rummaged through her mother's closet and dresser. She put on a bunch of pretty cloths and makeup, she felt so beautiful. Until Fred, George, and Ron spotted her. They laughed so hard, and told her she looked like a 'Muggle Clown'. She was hurt.

Ginny knew she'd never be a perfect and beautiful popular girl like Lavender or Parvati. She knew she'd never have all the elegance and grace as her mother used too. 'Used too' She thought giggling. 'Too many years of motherhood had robbed her of that'. 'Oh well', she shrugged off.

It was then that she heard the 5:00 bell.

LATE FOR DETENTION!

Ginny ran from the girls' bedroom, down to the common room and sped as fast as her knobby knees could carry her to the dungeons.

As she made it there she pushed the door open with full force, and made violent contact with the agitated Professor on the other side. She knocked him to the floor, then fell on top of him.

There she was, laying on top of Professor Serverus Snape totally frozen with fear and embarrassment.

"MS.WEASLEY!" He yelled, shaking the stone dungeon. He was giving her the most spine-tingling look possible. Ginny felt her stomach turn and her face go red.

She QUICKLY regained bodily functions and stood up shakily. Snape was up in less than a second as well.

She began to tremble and stumble over words. Trying to get a sentence out that she didn't ever think of yet.

"Sit" He said, calmly. As calmly as a hissing snake.

She put her hand over her eyes and silently obeyed. How embarrassing...and gross.

He eyed her a bit more before sitting down at his desk.

"I have quite a bit of work to get done." Snape said, deeply. "I'll talk to you when I'm done about why you're here. For now, you just sit and think about why you COULD be here." He finished.

Ginny looked up to his black eyes, and nodded.

Of course she knew why she was here, her grades. But now it was time to admit it. Where had she gone wrong? 'It's just because of that time of the month. I'm a little tipsy.' Of course this has been going for quite awhile. 'What could be wrong with me?' She thought, trying to find the answer. But she gave up, as most teens do. 'I'll think about Harry instead'. Then she smiled.

She couldn't help it. It was how she was. Ginny was a dreamer. Inspired by the littlest things.

Far away from the life so young That's when you used to know

Many dreams since then you've had have come and gone

The time might show

But stress, don't you let in,

don't you forget it

Trust you'll find your way love

Hope is what your heart is made of...

'He's sooo cute' She couldn't stop thinking about his perfect lips. They were always moist, he licked his lips allot. Her smile grew wider.

And don't you forget it

Don't you forget your way home

For that little girl

Hold on to your world

And don't you forget it

Don't you forget your way home

For that little girl

Hold on to your world...

'I know I'll never have him' She thought sorrowfully. 'Thinking and dreaming of him, just happens to pass the time'. Time was what Ginny had. Dreaming of Harry WAS becoming boring, but it kept her form being lonely.

You're world's apart from first where life would start

Understanding what it means to have gone

Nothing but your heavy broken heart

Memories of what used to be

With change comes responsibility

Don't forget where you are and where you've been

Life's lessons then made you into woman...

'The way he walks...his soothing talk...' She began to blush. 'So lovely' She'd always think up scenarios too. 'What if, I went into the locker rooms, after a hot quidditch game? After everyone else was gone, all but him. Him in the shower. All steamy and naked. What if I kissed him there. He'd be shocked. It'd be so good...'

And don't you forget it

Don't you forget your way home

For that little girl

Hold on to your world

And don't you forget it

Don't you forget your way home

For that little girl

Hold on to your world...

She began to imagine what that'd be like. Loosing all track of time, as usual. But there was something else she didn't notice, as her stomach filled with tiny butterflies.

Don't you be afraid cuz a heartbeat away

It's all that and everything

That send men and women to you

Don't need to cry, you can dry your eyes

Cuz you can count on the love that through the years

Captured fears you'll face, can subside your tears

Everything will be ok, don't you be afraid

No no no no, la la la, la la la

Don't you be afraid, no baby...

Snape was staring at her intently. She HAD lost track of time. It was about a half and hour AFTER her detention period.

Ginny was all a blush, like a big idiot. Off in some other world. A world that could be nothing but good to her. So unlike the harsh reality that was. Yeah, Ginny was a dreamer, and damn happy about it.

Don't you forget it...

"Is it so sweet, to be thinking of failing my class Ms.Weasley?' Snape asked. It was then that the music stopped.

Ginny looked up, speechless.

"You ARE failing my class, you know that. Usually, for the normal teenager, that's a painful experience. But for you, Ms.Weasley, it seems to make you blush. Why is that?" He asked again, very gently. His arms her crossed over his chest, and his eyes were fixated on her. Like they had been, for about an hour. Seeing the change in emotions on her face, told him that she was NOT being punished. But more like, rewarded.

Ginny had no words...

"Detention tomorrow Ms.Weasley. Bring your books too. I'll have some extra credit" He stated, then took his gaze off her.

Ginny was wide-eyed. 'Extra Credit?' She thought. 'He never gives that out...'

"Wha-?" Was all she could get out.

"Ms.Weasley you are normally a good student. I'd hate to see that wasted away because you can't handle all of your teenage hormones." He simply stated.

Ginny was shocked, yet thankful. "Thank you" She said, and left. 'Guess he's nicer than I thought..' Ginny began to walk back to the Gryffindor common room. 'Was he aloud to talk about my hormones?' Ginny wondered.

But all thoughts of that were soon forgotten.

And don't you forget it

Don't you forget your way home

For that little girl

Hold on to your world

And don't you forget it

Don't you forget your way home

For that little girl

Hold on to your world...

Hold on to your world......

* * * * *

Well, did you like?

Next Chapter - Ginny finds out something VERY shocking about Snape, while at the same time, forgetting all about Harry.