In Love With The Moon

In Love With The Moon

It was the second day of September when I first met her. I remember looking up and seeing her, with her wide blue eyes and hair the color of moonlight. I can't believe that it's been six years since then. Six years, gone by too fast, since the day that her boggart stepped out of the cabinet and turned into a werewolf. Ironic, isn't it? A girl named moon afraid of a werewolf, when it's the wolf that's afraid of her.

Luna, her name was. Luna Lovegood. I tried so hard not to feel anything for her. It was wrong then, and now, years later, it's still wrong. What would Dumbledore have said if he knew that I was harboring feelings for one of his students? Would he have still let me teach? And Harry... what would he have thought if he'd seen the way I was looking at her? All those discreet glances I sent her way from the Head Table during breakfast. I don't know how no one ever noticed.

But that's not entirely true. Snape knew. I endured countless snipes about how my "inner wolf" was pining for the moon. But never in public. No, he was too good for that. He'd wait until the full moon was drawing near, and bring his insults and snide remarks with my Wolfsbane. He'd sit there and watch me drink it, all the while asking things like "looked at the moon lately" and "you must be going feral, the way you pine for the moon". It got under my skin, yes, but I never let on. I couldn't afford to. I needed my potion, and he was the only one around who could brew it. I knew that he'd use any excuse to stop brewing my potion, any at all. He's never forgiven me for the Shrieking Shack incident, after all. Can't say I blame him, I'd feel the same way, had I been in his shoes.

But that's all in the past, now, and I have other things to worry about. Like if my tie is tied like it should be, my hair lying like it should be. I can't ruin this for them, despite what I feel inside for her. Harry... he would never forgive me. After Ginny died, he was a mess. Yes, the Light vanquished the Dark, but he lost so many of his friends that day. Hermione, Seamus, Hagrid, Charlie... Ginny. He loved Ginny. I think that part of him still does, just like part of Tonks still loves Sirius. You never really stop loving them, even when they've disappeared beyond the veil. Even when the marry someone else. Even when that someone else is like family to you. Like the son you never had, but always wanted.

But that's enough brooding for now. Harry, he needs me out there. I'm the best man. It should have been Ron but... they haven't talked since the falling out they had at Hermione's funeral, when Ron accused Harry of selling her out to Voldemort. I know that that's not what happened, that Harry was never her parents' Secret-Keeper. It was Ginny. But Ron doesn't want to believe that his baby sister had gone Dark. That she sold Hermione to Voldemort, because she wanted to "get her out the way". Like Harry ever looked at Hermione that way. She was more of a mother or sister to him than she was anything else. But Ginny couldn't see that, just like Ron can't see how his sister's jealousy corrupted her.

They're calling me now, and I know that I have to go, but my feet won't move. I don't want to watch her marry him. I love Harry like my own, but... He's still in love with Ginny, and my Moon... she doesn't deserve to be second. Not when I can put her first. Not when I always have.

How terrible it is. My whole life, I've feared the moon. Feared what it could do to me, what it brings out in me... And I hated my lycanthropy, because as terrified as I was of the moon, I longed to gaze upon it. To see it, to bask in its glory. But I was denied that luxury, until recently. Until Luna created a cure, I suffered and I hated it. How ironic it is, that though I am cured of my sickness, it's still out of my reach. She's out of my reach.

Snape was right. I'm in love with Luna. I'm in love with the Moon.