Maybe Someday

Three steps away from the fence and he stopped. It had been such a long time since he had even set eyes upon the Burrow and he wasn't sure he was even welcome anymore. Up until the prior year it had been his home and his sanctuary. But then he got involved with the Ministry...

"Come on now, Weasley! Don't dawdle!"

Percy hardly heard the Minister of Magic, Rufus Scrimgeour, speak, but he continued following along side the man, not sure why his feet were so eager while the rest of his body felt sick.

Two summers earlier he had a row with his father that ended with him immediately packing up his things and leaving for London. Funny... he could hardly remember most of the things that had been said that night, but he remembered the gist of it. He had told his father he was a failure and just thinking about it made the color drain from his face.

His mother had tried to visit him and set things straight after he had found a place to stay, but he had pushed her away, slamming the door in her tear-stained face. He had cried that night, and he wasn't sure if it was because of the awful thing he had just done to his mother or if it was because he was so painfully sorry for what he had said to his father. Or perhaps it was because most of his family seemed to hate him now.

As the continued to approach the front door, Percy could hear cheerful talk and laughter streaming out of a nearby window. They seem so happy without me. Why am I doing this? Why should I ruin their Christmas by showing up at the front door and pretend I came out of my own good will?

The truth was that the Minister had caught him off guard and asked him to accompany him to the Burrow. He knew he was being used... probably to get to Potter. He knew he had been used the moment it was announced that He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named was back. He had been used by Fudge and why should he think Scrimgeour was any different?

His blood began to boil then. He wasn't sure who to be mad at. He was mad at both Ministers for using him as a pawn so that they could try and get Harry Potter into checkmate. He was mad that he had been mislead and lied to about everything concerning his career. He had even thought of quitting because it was obvious they didn't really want him for his talent, they just wanted to get to his family.

His family... he was angry with them too. He knew in his heart he had no right to feel such anger toward the people who had shown him nothing more than unconditional love for his whole life, but he was so tired of them holding him back... tired of not being able to do anything on his own without someone muttering the word Weasley behind his back. He knew it was shameful to be ashamed of the family he had been born to, especially when they were such wonderful people, but he couldn't help it.

But at the same time, he missed them all terribly - event he twins. He wanted to collapse in his mother's arms and just cry... He wanted to tell his father he had made a huge mistake and beg him to not be angry with him. He wanted to tell his brothers and sister how sorry he was that he had been a complete ass for so long and that he was mortified they had seen him at his lowest moment. He wanted nothing more that this to be the final time he had to come to the Burrow as a guest... but he knew that was impossible. However, it had been this longing and the fantasy he played in his head that had caused him to agree to the trip with the Minister.

It was then that he realized his pace had sped and he had passed the Minister in the length to the door. He slowed a bit, feeling the rising burning sensation in his throat that he had felt when the Minister asked him to go. He frantically tried to focus on anything besides his longing to be accepted back into his family. Finally, focusing on the cold harsh snow whipping at his cheeks seemed to calm him down.

However, no more than two seconds after he had found peace with himself, Percy's cheeks reddened when he heard his mother's voice from inside, signaling that she had noticed his presence. At that moment he suddenly had the pressing urge to take flight. He wanted to go back to London and spend his Christmas in his flat. He wanted to be miserable alone... not with everyone staring at him like he was a one man freak show.

Somehow, he found courage and without even knocking opened the back door and stopped not sure what to do next. His mother was there in an instant, while everyone hung back an inch, not sure how to take his appearance.

After an uncomfortable moment of silence, Percy finally broke the silence.

"Merry Christmas, Mother."

With an "Oh, Percy!" he found his mother in his arms tightly embracing him. He wanted to welcome her touch, but he found himself stiff with anxiety. After what seemed forever, his mother let go and greeted the Minister.

"You must forgive this intrusion. Percy and I were in the vicinity - working, you know - and he couldn't resist dropping in and seeing you all." Scrimgeour smiled at them all, and only Percy seemed to notice that his eyes were fixed upon Harry.

Percy's lips formed a tight line while the Minister spoke to his mother. He knew the real reason they were there, and after a moment the rest of the room knew as well. They looked from the Minister, to Harry, to himself not sure what to make of the situation. His father's face flashed a look of anger and Percy felt as though he were shrinking into nothingness.

When the Minister left with Harry, he felt trapped. His mother was hovering over him fixing him a plate, while the others slowly ate their meal. Aside from being introduced to Bill's fiancé, no one but his mother said a word.

After a while, Percy felt his own anxiety melting away as he made polite conversation with anyone that would speak to him. He tried so hard to make them understand he was trying to be genuine. He wanted them to understand that he wasn't just some puppet to the Ministry. However, he could feel the tension around him mounting. Lupin and Fleur humored him, and of course his mother did, but when he finally tried speaking to his father, he knew he should have never stepped foot into the house.

"I hear you got a promotion," he tried, having heard about it in passing at work. He had been happy for his father when he heard the news, but he could say nothing when he saw him a few hours later in the hallway.

His father looked at him for a moment before looking away. "Is that why you're here? Because you don't think I'm a failure anymore?"

Percy sat stunned for a moment. The words stung with every syllable. He hadn't expected his father to take his comment so badly. "Father, I..."

"Do I finally have that ambition I needed so I can feed my family? Or do you still think I'm an ignorant fool?"

Percy felt the heat from his ears reaching his face as his father spoke. The words weren't harsh in themselves... far from it actually. He was surprised with how calm his father was, but in Percy's mind they were beyond cruel. They thought he was there just to get to Harry. They thought that he didn't want to actually see them, not even a bit. If only they knew how far from the truth that was.

He tried to speak and was moments away from gushing on about how sorry he was and how he was the ignorant fool when he felt something splash onto his glasses, obscuring his sight. If it had been possible, the room seemed to get even quieter as he wiped they mashed parsnip from his eyes.

He was sure it was Fred and George, or even Ginny, who seemed to have taken them up as role models just as their mother had been worried about ever since she learned how to walk and talk. All hopes for reconciliation were gone as the anger boiled back up to the surface. He began remembering every cruel joke, prank, word, and so on that had ever been directed at him. Slowly, he rose from his chair, grabbed his coat and left the house without looking back at any of them.

He heard his mother's sobs behind him, pleading for him to come back as he made his way down the path, but he couldn't bear to turn around. He didn't even care that he had left the Minister behind, being that it was that mans awful idea to come to the Burrow in the first place. Finally he apparated and found himself in his home... or was it?

The Burrow had been so warm and inviting, even if those inside had not been. He had been so close to telling them he was sorry... so close to being accepted back. But his chance had been lost in only a moment and suddenly he found himself dissolving into a fit of tears.

He wondered if he'd be invited to Bill's wedding. He didn't think Bill would deny him entrance even if he was angry with him. They were brothers after all and Percy desperately wanted to go. Maybe then he could fix the mess he had created and tell his family he was sorry.

Maybe someday... then he could tell his father he loved him.