Rumours and Rebellions

Rumours and Rebellions

There have always been rumours about Max. No particular reason, there just always have. They seem to congregate around him. Like flies. I still haven't figured out why. I mean, in Slytherin House we're just a bunch of complete lunatics or eccentrics at the very least, and Max ain't as bad as some I could name. I suppose it's just because he's so utterly different, he's not bothered about what he's been told by people. He doesn't muck in with the other groups, he doesn't just believe what he's told, he questions everything. It's bloody annoying after a while, I can tell you that.

But some of the rumours are just weird. Maximus McKinnon is one-quarter vampire, his eyes glow red at night and he hangs upside down from his bedposts when he sleeps. Maximus McKinnon is purestrain, there's not a single Muggle or Squib anywhere in his family. All of Max's family were killed by You-Know-Who except for him and his grandfather, and his Dad died when he ambushed the Dark Lord with the sword of Salazar Slytherin. Maximus McKinnon killed somebody when he was back in Edinburgh but the Ministry of Magic hushed it up. Max's family wouldn't serve the Dark Lord because they'd made a deal with the devil and weren't going to serve anybody else. Max keeps a Muggle gun under his pillow in case he ever meets anybody that he can't beat with magic. Max likes boys and girls, and there's not one of the people he hangs out with that hasn't been in his bed at some point.

And on, and on, and on. All like that. As far as I know only three of them are true. Max is definitely one-quarter vampire because his grandmother had an accident when she was pregnant with his father, although I don't think that he has any weird powers because of that. Any stuff he could do wouldn't be too special anyway, you can't move in this school for beautiful people who are half-siren or descended from the founders or possess one of the thousands of ways of destroying the Dark Lord, making friends and influencing people, curing the common cold or anything else like that. Most of Max's family were killed by You-Know-Who, mostly because they refused to hand over their stockpile of highly illegal magical weapons, and as far as I can tell him and his grandfather are the only extant family members to bear the name 'McKinnon'. And yes, Max is bisexual, though I don't think he's got round to sleeping with everyone he knows yet. And of course, liking boys and girls, it was only natural that he'd end up with me.

Yes, poor me. Blaise Zabini, androgynous Goth. Female under the clothes, other than that, can't tell one way or the other. It gets bloody annoying after a while, plus it totally screws up dating. It's hard when nobody will ask you out because they aren't sure of your gender. I mean, you'd think the breasts would be a clue? But nobody seems to notice, and I'm not wearing tight tops or push-up bras for anybody. I'm not that fucking desperate. And so I end up with Max, a ginger, long-haired, bisexual Goth who's so completely out of his tree that you can't tell him anything if you aren't prepared for a week of arguing about how and why. Now there are a lot of depressing things out there but having a boyfriend in spite of your looks instead of because of them is definitely up there in the top ten. Of course, it's not exactly in spite of my looks with Max because he seems to have absolutely no concept of what is good looking and what isn't. He just doesn't understand. He doesn't even seem to own any porn, and you can't tell me that's normal.

But enough of that. Max and his lack of porn are not the most interesting subjects in the world. I will have to stop talking about him eventually. But I'll say this for him, he's a bloody fascinating person. There I go, contradicting myself again. So hex me. But seriously, I mean, Max is just the most total misfit I've yet to see. I mean, he listens to Puncture Marks - that's a seriously heavy Goth metal band for all you muggle-borns out there, you know, the stuff your parents blame for violence in schools and kids in America going haywire and cursing people so their insides end up three feet to the left of the rest of their bodies. You remember.

But anyway, he listens to Puncture Marks but he doesn't brag about being allegedly part vampire and he doesn't cut himself and he doesn't even wear black because it doesn't suit him! I mean, doesn't black suit everyone? But no, he goes around in light purple and sky blue and even white (not all at the same time, of course) and he never listens to what anybody else tells him about his clothes because he likes them and he says anybody else who doesn't is just not in possession of all the facts. He always listens in class and so far he's said the word 'why' eighty-seven times over the past week! I mean, why just ask that all the time? Why not just listen? Why not just get on with it and remember what you're told? I'll tell you this, I'm buggered if I'll go around asking 'why' in history of magic all the time. Which, might I add, is Max's favourite subject. Bloody typical. The one thing everyone hates beyond all others and he loves it. Gets extra work. Bloody volunteers for it. Masochist.

And then there's Raven. Of course. Raven is one of these people who's got weird abilities. So far as I can remember, his is he can hold about four times as much air in him as anybody else. The upshot of which is he never, ever shuts up. He can talk for hours and hours without stopping, and he generally does whenever he can. And what's he got to do with Max? Well, he's Max's boyfriend. Which is kind of odd, because I'm still Max's girlfriend and Raven claims he isn't gay. I mean, in anybody's book those would seem to be pretty bloody huge obstacles to overcome. But not to Max. It's not cheating, he says, because I don't mind and Raven doesn't mind and he doesn't mind and anyway he's only got one of each gender. I mean, that's bloody weird reasoning. But Raven reckoning he's not gay and yet simultaneously being Max's boyfriend is weirder still. So far as I can grasp what Raven says, he doesn't find Max physically attractive, which is fine because Max looks like an overgrown fruit bat and even I don't think he's that good-looking. But Raven claims that he likes Max's mind and that's good enough. I also reckon it's because Max is the only person who can put up with Raven's incessant prattling. I'm still trying to work out how far the two of them have got. I mean, strictly speaking I've been told, but nobody can tell me what 'Barclays Bank' means in real English.

Then, of course, to cap it all, there's the whole Potter/Malfoy issue. They hate each other. No two ways about it. And so everybody in Slytherin supports Malfoy and everybody in Gryffindor supports Potter. Except that Max is starting to rock the boat. Because Max reckons that supporting Potter is a safe bet and supporting Malfoy is too risky. There've been some major rows about that, I mean seriously huge ones. Generally about Himself. The big V. Because Malfoy reckons (on the quiet) that Himself is going to come back and overthrow society and rule forever. But Max reckons that Himself is one hundred percent doomed because any wizard that can kill him when he's nothing but a baby is never going to be beaten. And so it started with them arguing in the Common Room late at night and then Pansy got involved, and then Crabbe and Goyle started putting the whips on the others to lay down the law a bit with Max except that not everybody likes Malfoy and so Max has started a whole bloody resistance movement without even trying. I mean, Slytherin House has been so bloody intimidated for so bloody long that we've not had a year when some big Death Eater family hasn't been pulling all the strings. But now, because of Max, right, people are speaking out. Except that Max has stopped speaking out, because he's run out of things to say. And so Max has split Slytherin House down the middle by arguing with Malfoy and not toeing the party line and now he's run out of disagreements and he's just watching on the sidelines. I mean, that's not normal. It's just bloody weird.

I'll say this though: it sure as hell beats any rumours they've made up.