Harry Potter and the Nimbus star 3000

HARRY POTTER AND THE NIMBUS STAR 3000.

"HYELP! HYELP!" Hermione yelled like Penelope Pitstop. But then again, I would be too, if I was tied up above a tank of hungry sharks. "HYELP! HYELP ME HARRY!"

"I'll save you my love!" Ron said as he climbed up the tank's ladder to settle Hermione's cries.

"Is your name Harry?"

"I can change my name!"

"Oh Ron! Bog off you pillock!"

Ron climbed down the tank looking confused. "What's a pillock?"

"It's an idiot!" Hermione said in her swotty human-dictionary tone.

Ron got off the tank and sat by the wall sulking.

"Just a moment Hermione dear," I said running from across the room, refraining from search of Voldemort, as it was his ship. Voldemort wanted the Nimbus star 3000, a crystal containing the power to control the universe. We were here to find it, and stop him from getting it. "I'll save you!"

I grabbed hold of the tanks ladder, but it electrocuted me and I fell to the ground, my scar burning.

"Oh Voldemort you pillock! Why didn't you electrocute Ron instead?" Hermione yelled.

"What's a pillock?" Voldemort and me asked together.

"It's an idiot!" Hermione sighed. "I thought you of all people would know that."

"Ah. No, not really." Voldemort turned back to me.

"So, we meet again Buzz Light-year! Err; sorry I was just watching Toy Story 2. Mr. Potter! I hope this can be a pleasant visit."

"HOW CAN IT BE PLEASANT WHEN YOU KILLED MY PARENTS?!" I screeched at the top of my voice.

"Now Buzz Light-year, err shoot! Mr. Potter, how would you like to die?"

"Maybe I should ask you that question." I leapt up and transformed my wand into a light-sabre. Voldemort did the same.
ZING, ZING, the sabres screeched as they joined together. They wouldn't touch completely though, as our wands were brothers.

Voldemort fell to the floor.

"Any last words?"

"Yes,"

"What?"

"Harry," Voldemort started to breathe deeply. "I'm your father."

"NOOOOO!" I shouted very loudly. Then I calmed down. "Really?"

"No, not really, I can't back that up."

"Right. Idiot yes."

"Mr. Potter." Voldemort stood up in front of me. “You will die today. But it will be you who kills yourself."

"Say what?" I was confused.

"He means you will sacrifice yourself for something he does. You could've phrased it better you pillock." Hermione rolled her eyes.

Voldemort turned to me. "What's a pillock?"

I shrugged.

"I'm just going to shut up now." Hermione turned her head.

"We'll all benefit." I smiled.

"Anyway, As Miss Granger said, you will sacrifice yourself for something I do."

I looked at Voldemort wide eyed.

"ARE YOU GOING TO GET THE BBC TO CANCEL THE TELLITUBIES?!" I yelled biting my nails. But I stopped automatically, as everyone was looking at me. "Sorry. I was in my zone there."

"Right." Voldemort looked kind of frightened. "As I was saying, I’m going to get you to sacrifice yourself." Voldemort got his light sabre, and turned it back into a wand. Then he pointed the wand in Hermione, and the rope holding her up began to burn. Hermione's bottom lip began to tremble.

"Now Hermione dear, be prepared to get slightly hurt."

Now the rope holding Hermione above the sharks was now hanging on by a thread. Hermione screamed in terror.

"NO! NO! PLEASE NO!" Tears dribbled down Hermione's delicate face, as she watched the rope burn the a crisp.

"Don't worry my dear." Voldemort's wand moved further toward Hermione now had a light surrounded her, and she began to float to the ground. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief.

"Ah." Voldemort held Hermione's chin and slid his hand up her cheek. "A beautiful girl, if ever I've seen one."

"Pardon me sir, but you have no taste in young women." Ron piped up from the sidelines

Hermione stared at Ron and pulled a face.

Voldemort sighed. He pointed his wand at Ron and he froze in his position.

"As I was saying..." Voldemort continued. "I shall sacrifice...you." He stared at Hermione. "I know Mr. Potter has a soft spot for you Miss Granger, so you will be what I sacrifice."

"Just a moment can you let me down, you know for a last request." Hermione slid out of the rope tided around her waist and came over to me. "You like me?"

I blushed.

"Oh, Harry, that's so cute." Hermione came closer to me for a kiss. I leaned in. Hermione grabbed a hold of my face, turned my head, and slapped me around the face.

"Ow!" I yelled holding my cheek

"THAT'S FOR FANCYING ME YOU PILLOCK! NOW LOOK WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME! I HATE YOU HARRY! INSTEAD OF SAVING MY LIFE YOU BLOODY GET ME KILLED! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"

Hermione walked back over to Voldemort, her head in her hands. She was crying. Hermione tied herself back up again. "Just get it over with! Kill me! I deserve it!" Hermione sobbed.

"Ok, if that's the way you want it!" Voldemort turned himself into Jack Ryder.

"Nice change." Hermione eyed him up and down.

Voldemort grabbed Hermione's face carefully and kissed her. She didn't object.

The moment their lips touched, a ray of light shone around them, then the light faded at Hermione's side. Jack let go of her face, Hermione dropped to the floor.

"NOOO!" I crouched down at her side. I felt like crying. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER? WHAT?"

"I sucked out her youth, and overall energy. Now, she's dead, and I stay Jack Ryder forever! MUHAHAHAHA! I’m so much closer to getting the Nimbus star 3000, and I will rule the universe! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now to kill Kym from Hearsay." Voldemort walked off, and disappeared.

"HERMIONE! Wake up! WAKE UP! PLEASE WAKE UP!" I held her pale, bloodless hand.

The moment Jack disappeared, Ron unfroze.

"What did he do?" Ron ran over to Hermione.

I looked up.

"Ron,

HERMIONE'S DEAD!"

To be continued…