The Final Choice

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter but I already own a washing-machine!

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Chapter 3

James opened the door and Sirius quickly slipped inside. James reinstalled the wards and looked at them critically before turning his attention to his best friend. "Well, it's good to finally hear from you. You haven't been answering my owls and messages for days."

"I know."

"Of course you do."

"Who are you talking to, James?" came Lily's voice from the kitchen and in a few moments she appeared at the door of the living room with Harry in her arms. Seeing his godfather, the little boy squealed happily and began wriggling in his mother's arms.

"Pafoo! Pafoo!"

Sirius looked at the excited toddler and shook his head. "Not now, Harry."

"Pafoo!"

Lily left Harry on the floor and he immediately started walking towards Sirius' armchair. Sirius looked at him and suddenly a memory of a conversation that had taken place more than seven months earlier came to him. What had Remus said? "For Merlin's sake, Sirius, leave Harry alone! You're his godfather and not his father. He has his own. Don't you understand what you put Angela trough with this Harry-obsession of yours?"

"This has nothing to do with Angela!"

"Do you really think so? Tell me, Sirius, do you think she feels happy with you paying no attention to her and Cane and instead focusing all your care on your godson, who has taken the place of the son she's unable to give you?"

Sirius growled with anger. "How dare you!"

Remus did not flinch. "I do. Don't do this, Sirius! For God's sake, leave Harry in his parents' care and instead give your time and devotion to your family while you still have one!"

It was strange how clearly Sirius remembered this conversation. Not that Remus' words mattered, of course. The traitor just wanted to cause a quarrel between Sirius and Angela. Besides, he was jealous because I am Harry's godfather and not him. Still, those words suddenly troubled him. They might be your friends, but Cane and I are your family, Angela had told him only yesterday.

"Not now, Harry, I'm not in the mood," he warned the toddler but the chubby little fingers caught his robe and tugged at it.

"I SAID NOT NOW!" Sirius suddenly shouted, and James and Lily gave him startled looks. Harry just stood there, too surprised to react. I shouldn't have done that. It's not Harry's fault, so I shouldn't throw my anger at him. He was just a child. James' child. Yes, James' child, Sirius thought again. Not my child. My little boy is probably having a nightmare right now. Angela said he woke up crying. If he cries, then what the hell is wrong with you crying too? He looked at Harry whose tiny lips were trembling. "I'm sorry, Harry," he said as gently as he knew how. "It's not your fault, I'm just..."

Lily sjot him a murderous glare and took Harry in her lap.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Sirius?" James burst out. "First, you avoid my owls, then miss the day when we had to make the final preparation for the ceremony, now drop here all of a sudden and the first thing you do is yell at Harry. What the hell is going on?"

"I'm sorry," Sirius said.

"Why didn't you come earlier?"

"I had to take care of some things of my own."

"Oh, really? And what the hell could be more important than the Secret Keeper Ceremony?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "I don't know," he said very softly and very sarcastically. "Maybe taking care of my wife and son? What do you think? Is it important enough?"

"Don't start with me," James warned, "because I'm at the end of my nerves and patience."

"You're right, of course. I'm sorry. It's just, I really had to do a lot of things. I've been thinking most of the time."

For the first time since Sirius had arrived, James gave him a close look and remained horrified: his friend had gone even thinner than he had been a week earlier, there were big dark circles under his sunken eyes and his face wore traces of unbearable tension. His fingers shook slightly.

Lily must have noticed that too, because she left Harry on the sofa, stood up and brought Sirius a big sandwich that he did not even look at. Yet, he drained the cup of coffee in two sips.

"Merlin, Sirius, what happened?" James asked, his anger gone.

Sirius placed the empty mug on the table. "I can't do this, James. I can't be your Secret Keeper."

"What?!" James shouted.

"I can't do this," Sirius repeated.

"I thought we had settled everything!"

"Except for the little fact that I had other people to take care of. My fault."

"What?!" James repeated.

"I have a wife and a child, Prongs, and they come first. I'm only sorry that it took a Death Eaters' attack to make me come to my senses."

"Oh my God!" Lily whispered and James' face took a horrified expression. "When?"

"During my last visit here. Instead of defending Angela and Cane, I was chatting here with you," Sirius said bitterly.

"How are they?" Lily was almost too afraid to ask, but by Sirius' previous words, she could tell that the worst had not happened.

"As fine as two people put under the Cruciatus might be," the young man replied.

"The Cruciatus?" James whispered. "Oh, Sirius..."

"Bella was one of the attackers, the other was Malfoy but Angela managed to Disarm him and the other bastard, Rosier. Bella escaped but Malfoy and Rosier were arrested." Sirius laughed darkly. "Frank told me that when the Aurors arrived, Malfoy was lying on the carpet, Stupefied, Rosier was laughing madly under the effect of a Tickling Charm and Angela was trying to pull Bellatrix hair by the roots. Bella escaped, though. Oh, what a humiliation for the almighty Slytherins, to be beaten by a Ravenclaw with the odds three against one." His laughter died. "Unfortunately, the damage was already done."

"What happened?" James insisted. "How are they?"

"They came back home yesterday. There won't be any permanent damages on either of them.

James grinned. "Lily, bring us champagne," he cried, 'We have to toast this."

"No, Lily, don't, " Sirius stopped her. "There is nothing to toast."

James sighed; the constant hiding had got on his nerves and Sirius' reservations made him even more irritable. "Just spill it out, Sirius!"

"Alright, I will. Angela is pregnant. Five months gone, to be precise."

James laughed. "But that... that is great!" He took Harry in his arms and excitedly placed a kiss on his chubby cheek but then he met Sirius' gaze and his grin faded. "Isn't it?"

"No, James, it isn't."

"But why not? The two of you wanted a second child so much..."

Yes, we did. And now our dream became reality. And turned into a nightmare! Sirius looked at the oriental rug on the floor. "That's true. Unfortunately, when the Cruciatus hits a pregnant woman, there are severe consequences." He fell silent again.

"Severe, how severe?" James insisted further, starting to worry just a little.

"Stillborns, retarded children, children with missing limbs and so on," Sirius supplied. "There never was a single case of a pregnant woman giving birth to a healthy child after a Cruciatus."

Lily's face turned ashen. "And what is going to happen to your baby?"

"We won't know until it is born," Sirius answered. 'If there is a birth at all," he added miserably. "The Healer, by the name of Emerson, told me that had Angela been not so far in on her time, he would have recommended an abort, but now it was impossible."

"Not so far in on her time?" Lily repeated. "What on earth does that mean?"

"That I am a bastard for not noticing it, that's what it means,' Sirius muttered.

"You haven't noticed? A fifth-month pregnancy and you haven't noticed?" There was disbelief in James' voice.

For some reason, that only made Sirius more frustrated. "And just when was I supposed to notice it, James? While sitting here and talking with you about Voldemort and Hogwarts and pranks and everything? While being on missions for the Order? While I was staying here playing with your child when the Death Eaters were playing with mine?"

"You yourself chose your behavior, Sirius," James growled in response. "I haven't tied you to this chair and this home by force and I refuse to take responsibility for your actions."

"Do not, I'll do it myself," Sirius agreed. "As I said before, it's my fault and my fault alone. I was the one with the child and the pregnant wife and I was the one who neglected them unforgivably but not anymore."

"So you've taught out your decision to become our Secret Keeper?"

Sirius nodded. "It's not safe, James. If I do, I'll probably have to go into hiding myself. I can't put a pregnant wife and a traumatized child through all that... and go into hiding alone is unthinkable. Besides, it's not safe for you too. Do you really want to trust Lily and Harry's safety in the hands of a man who would betray them under some circumstances?"

Lily gaped and James' eyes widened. "What are you saying?" he asked in a dangerously low voice.

Sirius did not even flinch. "Look at the situation through my eyes, James. Cane already disappeared once and only the last week there was an attack in my flat. If Voldemort's servants take hold of Cane or his mother and ask me where you are, I'll have no other option but tell them."

"You would?!..." James' voice was full of disbelief.

"No, if it were only me. But I have other people to take care for, Prongs. I think that for the last months, you, Lily and I kept forgetting that. But the risk of losing them made me realize that being with Angela and Cane is where I need to be. They need me, and I need them, and soon there will be another child who will need both his parents more than anyone. It will be born with hard problems - congenital problems, actually. I can't fail them. Not again."

Lily nodded with understanding but the expression on James' face did not change. Sirius sighed. "Tell me, Prongs, are you the only one who is entitled to worry about his family?"

"No," James answered wearily, "I'm not the only one." He shook his head and poured himself a cup of coffee, magically reheating it with his wand. "I suppose I was just too used to rely on your constant presence and devotion but you're right. Angela and Cane should come first... and the new baby. I'm only worrying what we're going to do now. We wanted to perform the Fidelius Charm, you know, it's the safest choice."

"You can still perform it," Sirius assured him. "Just not with me. I've thought of it."

"What do you mean?"

"Call Peter."

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While Sirius was removing the wards, he was seized by the sudden fear that Angela and Cane would not be inside. He knew it was irrational and yet, he could not help but think of the last time he had come home, expecting to find them there, only to find the flat empty. As fast as he could, he finished removing the new wards, then entered the flat and reinstated them instantly.

He did not need his canine hearing to know what the splashing sounds coming from the bathroom meant. Sirius smiled, transformed and started towards it, his soft padded feet making no noise as he walked. He pushed the door open with his snout.

Cane was sitting in the bathtub, leaving his mother wash him without protesting and without trying to drench her through her clothes. Padfoot frowned as best as he could as a dog. Cane loved being washed, he loved playing in the bathtub and his current apathy only showed his father how bad things were. The Death Eaters and me, we all did it, Sirius thought bitterly. But I'll make up for that.

Cane's face lit up when he saw the big black dog looking at him with his head cocked to one side. "Snuffles!" he exclaimed happily. Suddenly, he did not look forlorn anymore. Instead, he looked full of life and joy. "Snuffles, come here!"

"Sirius, don't you dare..." Angela began in a menacing voice but it was too late: the dog jumped in the bath, splashing water everywhere and mostly on Angela who laughed despite herself. Padfoot then shook himself off, drenching her again, and Cane laughed. Padfoot put his gigantic paws on Cane's shoulders and began growling quietly in his face. Cane started growling too and then the two of them began splashing and pawing in the water, sending bubbles all over the bathroom. Angela only sighed and shook her head. "Really, Snuffles, one would think that at least you could behave like a normal human being. If you go on like that, soon we'll find our hands full with a puppy and not a child."

"Yes!" Cane yelped. "I wanna be puppy!"

Angela gave Sirius a look that was full of disgust. "See what I mean?"

A wagging tail and two front paws batting at the bubbles that were floating in the air showed her that Sirius knew and did not care about that. "Great. Now I have two children to bathe instead of one."

Despite her disapproving expression with a hidden amusement behind it, Sirius thought he could not mistake another thing that he had seen in her eyes the moment she saw him: relief. She had really thought that he could choose James, Lily, and Harry, that it was a real possibility. And that made Sirius realize another thing: he could not tell her about the change of the Secret Keeper, he could not tell her anything about the Potters at all. Not now, when she still felt so insecure about his feeling towards her and Cane. Maybe in a few weeks when he would have her convinced that she and Cane - and now the new baby - were the most important thing in his life. Later, he thought, and sent another bubble at Cane's laughing face, I'll tell her later.

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A. N. So, here it is. Can you believe it is completed? Because I surely can't. I know that completed stories do not receive that many reviews because the writer does not need to be encouraged anymore but I'd really like to know what you think of this fiction. Please, let me know.

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