I Am Already Here

Disclaimer: You think I own something? Err... think again?

Chapter 1

The day started like every other day in the last four months - with a hangover.

George Weasley groaned, reluctant to open his eyes, because he knew that something was out of order and he did not want to know what exactly it was. Then he remembered, as he did every morning: Fred. Fred was dead.

With a low groan, he got out of bed and slowly went downstairs, not bothering to take hold of the banister, although the world was spinning madly around him and he could easily fall down on the stairs. He would not care if he did.

Miraculously, he reached the lower floor without any accidents. He headed straight for the kitchen and had just started to prepare an Anti-hangover Potion, when he noticed that there was a full ewer of it already waiting for him on the table.

Frowning, he drank one cup and stared darkly at the floor. If Verity already knew that I'd need it, things are getting quite out of hand, he thought. I have to be careful - I don't want to turn into a drunkard. Even while he was thinking that, he knew that he would drain a full bottle of Firewhiskey, when he got to his room in the evening. He needed to escape from the everlasting pain and that was the only way he knew.

He waited, until the potion took effect and his head cleared, before he went down the stairs to the first floor and entered the shop.

The bustle and noise that enveloped him made him feel like he was trapped. He was used to it, though, and the moment he stepped over the threshold, he became what people expected him to be: a lively, joking, grinning Weasley twin, who adored pranking people and selling his inventions. His lips curved into a jovial smile, his eyes started shining and he walked through the shop, chatting amiably with the customers.

It was not enough to fool Verity, though. When he reached her, she looked at him and asked in a low voice, "Are you all right?"

George sighed, but somehow managed to smile. "Yes," he said, "I'm fine. Where is Ron?"

"He asked for a free afternoon yesterday, don't you remember?" The young woman sounded surprised.

"Ah, yes, of course I do," George lied. Had Ron really asked that of him? And even if he had promised him a free afternoon, shouldn't have Ron waited until afternoon to leave? With a quick look at the clock, George realized that it was almost five o'clock. Merlin, I've messed day and night. I've got to stop. Of course, he knew that he would not do this. Yes, he was completely aware that the ghost resemblance of life that he was currently leading was disastrous for him, but he did not have enough will to put things right. He would be unable to deal with the pain otherwise.

Verity did not look convinced, but she let it pass. Soon, they closed the shop and George assured her that it was okay to leave, that he would be fine.

Only, he wouldn't be fine. Never again. Never, ever again. Half of him was missing. How was he supposed to be fine?!...

He was not aware that he had started dozing, when suddenly loud cries almost made him jump out of his skin. He ran to the window and recognized the unmistakable red and green flashes of curses.

The Death Eaters who haven't been caught yet! He barely had the time to think about this, when he recognized the hated face of Rodolphus Lestrange and a few other faces that he did not lose time to think of whom they belonged to. He bolted through the front door of his shop, wand in hand, and with great relief noticed that there were a dozen Aurors hurrying to meet the Death Eaters. With something less than relief, he realized that from the Death Eaters' other side were coming his brother Ron and Harry Potter, of all people! Honestly, those two! They couldn't even handle the simple task of seeing Hermione off to her parents' home without getting themselves into trouble!

Unfortunately, the Death Eaters had seen them too and now attacked them with all their fury. They knew that they had nothing left to lose, so all they wanted was to drag The Boy Who Lived with them in their destruction. Fortunately, Harry and Ron had quick reflexes and did not wait to be attacked - they attacked first. For a few moments, everything was a mess of green and red flames and loud shouts. And then George saw a green flame and the next moment, Ron fell to the ground, and Harry yelled 'No' and started frantically shaking him.

George ran to them, completely oblivious to the battle that was still going on behind him. There was a spout of blood streaming from the left side of Ron's head, but George heard him moaning in pain and found himself completely unable to move, so great was his relief.

Still kneeling next to Ron, Harry suddenly burst out laughing and George found himself laughing like mad, too. This was the only way to express his happiness.

Through the blood on his forehead and cheek, Ron still managed to glare at them nastily. "What's so bloody funny?" he groaned.

"You're alive," Harry explained through his laughter.

"Well, of course I am alive! I just threw myself on the ground to avoid the Killing Curse and it hurts like hell! Is that what is so funny?"

Suddenly, George felt a wave of such fury that he stopped laughing and had to clench his fists to stop himself from throttling Ron right there. His mind barely registered the fact that behind them, the battle was over and the Aurors were taking the Death Eaters in custody. A few moments later, Kingsley Shacklebolt went to them and gave them a quick look. "You all right?" he asked, bending over Ron to heal his wound.

"Yeah," Harry answered.

"No," George said at the same time.

Kingsley looked from one of them to the other and, obviously noticing in George's eyes something crazy, decided that it would be best to clear off.

"What's wrong with you?" Ron was glaring at his brother.

"With me?!" George repeated, and then he bent down, grabbed Ron's shirt and roughly pulled him on his feet. "You idiot!" he suddenly yelled. "You scared me to death!"

Ron blinked. That was too much. "Oh, shut up!" he snapped. "I scared you? And what do you think you've been doing to me, since Fred died?"

George recoiled, as if Ron had slapped him. "You're going too far, Ronniekins," he growled.

"The hell I am! Really, George, who do you think you are? Rejecting us all, avoiding our meetings, drinking yourself into stupor, rejecting all our efforts to help you, pretending not to notice how much you worry us all and now you have the nerve to stand here and say that I scared you to death? That's rich, even for you!" To his horror, Ron felt the tears that started prickling in his eyes, but he could not stop them anymore than he could stop his angry yelling.

George was on the verge of tears, too. "Fine!" he shouted. "Go there and let them kill you. Why should I care! If you prefer to interpret my concerns this way, well, it's up to you. You'll see whether I'm going to give you a single thought anymore... you don't deserve it, anyway. You never did. Stupid git."

"Well, if you think you're telling me something new, then think again!" Ron snarled.

"And what was that supposed to mean?" George demanded.

Harry stood helplessly next to them, not knowing what to do. He had seen Ron and George... Ron and the twins... fighting many times at Hogwarts, but it had been nothing like the scene that he was witnessing now.

"You know very well what I mean. Never mind, it doesn't matter now. Just stop feeling concerned about me, because you lost the right to feel this way, you bloody egoist!"

Never in his life had Harry been happier to see Bill and Charlie, who suddenly emerged from the falling darkness. George and Ron paid no attention to them, engaged in their shouting match.

"What on earth is going on here?" Bill asked.

"George... they..." Harry started and then shrugged helplessly.

Bill started acting immediately: he took George by the arm and with a strong hold forced him to follow him into the joke shop, while Charlie was doing the same thing with Ron. Harry trailed behind them.

Once they were all inside, George burst out, "You, you and your bloody foolishness! Are you ever going to learn?"

"Are you calling me foolish?" Ron asked defensively.

"I do! Honestly, can you spend a single year, just one, without being hit by chess sets, attacked by werewolves, or brains, or Death Eaters? Can you? No, you can't! And you've got the cheek to tell me that my normal grief because of Fred makes me an egoist?"

Ron snorted. "Normal! There isn't anything normal in the way you're drowning in your self-pity. It's crazy! And if you can't understand it, that means that you're even crazier. Really, can't you see what you're doing to us? Like you're the only one grieving! You know, I'm sick of looking everyone losing their mind over poor George. I'm done with it, do you hear me?"

Bill and Charlie exchanged glances. Harry watched horrified, but did not dare to say anything.

"Go to hell," George spat.

"No, you go to hell. I am done with this! I am fed up with you and I am leaving this stupid shop. I want to have a life, for Merlin's sake! And I'll have it. It might be enough for you to share your solitude with the reminiscence of a dead man, but I need contact with people who are warm and real... and preferably alive!"

Ron had gone too far and even as angry as he was, he felt that. But he would not take his words back - he just couldn't. George's withdrawal had been a source of never ending concern for everyone and now he dared to act as if he cared? Ron would have none of it.

"Oh yes, I'm sure you do," George finally said, very quietly. "Well, since our little conversation is going on so well, let me tell you a secret. My confession for yours. Every night, I lie in my bed and I wonder why it had to be him. Why couldn't have been you instead."

Ron's face had been pale before, but now, it became even paler. His eyes were fiery, mirroring George's own. Harry took a quick breath. He had never imagined that one day Ron and George would stare at each other with eyes, full of hatred, as Aurors and Death Eaters would look at each other.

Bill stepped between the two of them and gave them a stern glance. "I am ashamed of both of you," he said in a low voice that was trembling with fury. "I am ashamed of you, do you hear me? And you should be ashamed of yourselves."

Not saying another word, he went to the door and slammed it shut behind him so violently that the glass of the window broke.

Charlie sighed, looking at Ron and George. He looked completely crestfallen. "Come on," he whispered to Harry, "let's get out of here."

Harry hesitated. "But can we leave them alone? They will probably come to blows."

"Even so." Charlie's voice was still barely audible, but it sounded sure. "They are brothers and they are fighting with each other. They must settle it without any help."

Harry followed him outside, but looking at his two friends, he could not help but think that the way they looked ready to settle it, he and the Weasleys would be lucky, if they wouldn't have to rush one of them - or both of them - to St. Mungo's the next morning.

6