The Soul Keeper

Chapter 9: Thank You

After he was out of Ginny´s sight, Draco began a head long, very undignified rush towards the castle entrance and his common room, headless of anything and anyone in his path. He didn´t care who saw him then. It made no difference. He needed somewhere he could be alone and think.

He had had that until Ginny had come along and-he flinched, remembering the sound of her crying as he had walked away, and feeling a pang of remorse. It wasn´t a feeling he was used to, and he couldn´t honestly say that he liked it. But it was there nonetheless. He had really hurt her, hadn´t he?

Well, he tried to remind himself fiercely, it was her own fault. If she had minded her own business, it wouldn´t have happened.

But he knew this wasn´t exactly true. It hadn´t actually been Ginny that had made him so mad; Draco had been ready to explode on someone anyway, and she just happened to have been at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Unfortunately for her.

Deep inside, he wasn´t so sure.

For the first time in his life, it had actually seemed like someone had cared about him. And what did he do? He went and threw it in their face, that´s what.

It wasn´t a very good way to encourage someone to like him he had to admit.

But that was the problem. Did he want her to like him?

Maybe. But why should he? She was a Weasley after all. Penniless, a Muggle-lover; he shouldn´t be worried about her at all.

But he was. He couldn´t help it. Ever since- well, actually he didn´t know exactly when it had started. But the feeling was there, he was sure. A strange, weird feeling that he never remembered having felt before.

And it scared him. It excited him too, and made him long to see her face. But more than anything it scared him. And he hated to be scared. Hated to be weak, and fright was a weakness, he knew.

So why couldn´t he seem to stamp it out? Why couldn´t he get rid of it, this new feeling that haunted him and actually made him think of someone besides himself for a change? But he couldn´t. No matter how badly he wanted to, he couldn´t just wish it away.

And now, more than ever, he couldn´t decide if he really wanted to. For some reason, he thought that if he had the chance, he´d do it all over again.

Everything.

He was almost to his common room now. His mad run had slowed to a walk, but there was a preoccupied look that hung over him, a lack of attention, that caused several passing students to stop and stare.

Draco Malfoy not glaring at someone? Impossible.

He reached the secret entrance, and was about to go through the door, when he realized that he probably wouldn´t be able to get the peace he sought in there. There were bound to be too many Slytherins around to allow it.

He turned around at once, knowing he would have to go elsewhere. But where?

After a few minutes deliberation, he came up with the idea of the library. It would most likely be about empty. He could probably grab a corner all for himself.

So he went.

Sitting at an old, but comfortable, armchair in the farthest reaches of the library, he let his thoughts roam where they would. First on his mind was Ginny.

What she must think of him. Well, there was no changing it now. He very well couldn´t go right up to her and apologize. Could he?

He debated the issue mentally and came to a conclusion in a matter of moments. Except for the fact that he had never apologized to anyone in his life before, there seemed to be no reason why he couldn´t apologize. Now the question was, should he?

This took longer to decide. His thoughts wouldn´t come together; they kept racing off in different directions, so it took a lot of effort to try to gather them back. He kept seeing her, the way she had looked that night in the potions classroom: scared, confused, but more concerned than anything. Concerned for him. That was what made it so strange. In the Great Hall, when he had touched her shoulder, and she had stood so still, as if scared to turn around and look at him. Then another image interposed itself over these. It was a picture that had just been made a reality minutes ago. The hurt expression on her face, and the way she had looked at him...

By the time ten minutes had passed, he really hadn´t come any closer to a decision. The truth was, he wanted to apologize, to get back in her good graces so that she would talk to him again, but his wounded pride and Malfoy instincts wouldn´t allow it.

It was a battle that would have to be saved for another time, because Draco was beginning to feel it again. The faint prickling in the back of his mind, the feeling that told him The Voice was coming, a sense of pure evil.

Oh, how he hated it. That wretched thing that was suddenly trying to take over his life. But as much as he hated it, that´s how much he feared it.

For someone who had been scared of nothing but his own father his entire life, the experience of being frightened by two other things at once was devastating.

But fear quickly grows to anger, and within moments, this transition had occurred in Draco.

Already Draco was growing tired of this. Always, The Voice would refer to indistinct and vague remarks about his being chosen for something, but would never tell what. Now, Draco refused even to ask. Well, are you going to try it?

It would be difficult, trying to resist The Voice´s influence, but Draco had done it earlier. Before the scene with Ginny out by the lake, he had succeeded in keeping control of his body. He thought he could do it again if he had to, but it might cost him dearly.

He repressed a shiver at the memory of what just a few seconds of fighting had done to him earlier that same day. It had been almost as bad as the Cruciatus Curse had felt by the time it was over, just not so painful. The Cruciatus Curse was meant to cause pain, to hurt, to destroy. This, whatever it had been, was meant to tire, to wear down, and then, when their resistance had reached its lowest point, to take control. He had managed to keep fighting until his enemy broke down first. But it had completely worn him out. It had taken about an hour before he even felt strong enough to stand. And by the time he did, his hatred and determination to get rid of The Voice had increased twofold.

He would find some way to beat it permanently. Now if he only knew what "it" was.

He remembered how suddenly it had come upon him earlier. No warning at all. One minute, he was studying at a table in the Slytherin common room, the next he had suddenly been forced to put his pencil down and stand up. He hadn´t even realized what was happening for a moment, but as soon as he did, he had fought with everything he had in him.

From the time he was a child, he had been trained to resist mind control spells, but this wasn´t like any he had ever seen before. It wasn´t from an outside influence; it seemed to come from within his very mind, and when he felt The Voice´s presence, he knew it was doing it.

He had won that fight, barely. He wondered if he had the strength left in him to fight again now. But if he had no choice...

He didn´t.

He fought until his sides heaved and he had difficulty drawing a breath. He resisted and fought the whole way, and each time he pushed it back a little ways, it took energy that he could not spare. The Voice rushed him again, getting even farther than it had been when Draco had stopped it to begin with.

That was when the truth hit Draco. He couldn´t win. He might have done so earlier, but that must have been pure luck. He couldn´t deny that The Voice was stronger this time. He would not be so lucky now.

Still he fought, trying desperately to hold on to control of his own body, but it was no use; it was closing in. In a few moments, there would be nothing for him but an all-consuming darkness.

*************************************

Ginny wasn´t sure how long she sat there, completely devoid of movement. It couldn´t have been more than ten minutes, yet it felt like ages. Thousands of centuries could have passed in the blink of an eye and she wouldn´t have noticed.

She felt nothing but pain and remorse at the harsh words she had thrown out so sharply, and the well-deserved words he had given back in turn. She could still remember the cold, quiet fury that had enraged his features as he had spat out his vicious opinion of her.

The worst part was, she half felt she deserved it. She had been judging him. And she didn´t even know him that well. But that hurt too, because she wanted to know him. She wanted him to be able to tell her what was wrong, and she wanted to be able to help him with whatever it was.

But now, more than ever, that just didn´t seem possible. He would probably never even want to see her again. Even so, there was only one thing to do, and she knew exactly what it was.

She had to apologize.

And before she could do that, she had to quit crying like a helpless little idiot. Heck, she was even disgusted with herself. Here she was, crying her eyes out over a boy? It was ridiculous. And how could she possibly explain if someone saw her?

As soon as she had calmed herself and regained some composure, she jumped to the ground and headed for the castle. Now she just had to find him.

Easier said than done, she found out a few minutes later when she realized she had no idea where to start looking.

Probably a nice, stone-cold dungeon, she thought a bit sarcastically. But no, she knew that wasn´t it.

What about the Slytherin common room? Well, that might be an option, but how was she supposed to get there? She didn´t even know where it was. She thought about asking someone, but then she realized that he probably wasn´t even there at all. If it were her, she would want somewhere quiet to cool down at so she could think. Of course, this was Draco, not her...

Still, he would probably want somewhere quiet too, so that ruled out his common room. Where else?

She stood in the corridor, thinking. The Library? Well, that was definitely where she would go, but Draco? She didn´t know. It was something to start with at least.

She plodded up the stairs, almost falling in her haste. Upon reaching the Library, her hopes were sorely disappointed. She didn´t see him anywhere. Determined to make sure (she was running out of places to look for him at), she headed towards the back section, peering intently into the shadows. It would be just like him to hide in a dark corner somewhere...

Ah ha! There! It was little more than a darker shape within a dark shadow, but it was moving, and was obviously a person. She started to step forward, and only now did she think about her awkward position. It would feel weird just to waltz up and say, " Hi Draco. Look I´m really sorry for judging your entire life back there, can we be friends now?" Yep, that would go over real well.

She almost wished she could just turn around and go back; pretend she´d never seen him, and avoid him for the rest of her life; or at least the rest of the year. He would have graduated after that, and she probably wouldn´t see him at all then.

But the decision was quite unexpectedly made for her. Draco turned around suddenly, and his eyes fell on her. His face was strained, and he had his hands clenched in tight fists. The look in his eyes was pure terror. It was then that she realized something was wrong. Immediately her mind flew back to the incident in the Potion´s classroom when he had fell to the floor in pain. She took a hesitant step forward.

"Draco?"

" Gin?" he asked questioningly, as if he wasn´t quite sure what he was seeing. Then he seemed to become surer. " Ginny, help." He didn´t even seem to remember the fight they had just had. His eyes pleaded with her to help him, and Ginny, almost frantic, rushed to his side.

" What is it, what´s wrong?"

He didn´t answer; he seemed to be having some kind of internal struggle.

" Draco?" she asked again, tears coming to her eyes. What was wrong with him? Was he dying?!!

Suddenly, his muscles tensed and his body went rigid. He began sinking to the floor. Ginny, as she had the time the Cruciatus Curse had struck him, reached out and kept him from falling.

Without realizing it, she found her hand holding his as she gently lowered him to the floor. He was too heavy to hold up very long. As she set him on the floor, she saw his hands grasp the necklace that still hung from his throat and tug at it, like he was trying to get it off.

" Stupid necklace," she thought she saw him mutter under his breath.

Now her own internal battle was raging. Should she call for help? Go and get someone? What should she do? She became angry with herself for not knowing, and hot, anguished tears streamed from her eyes.

One of them dropped onto Draco´s face, and he suddenly sat bolt upright, almost shoving her back in the process. His eyes darted to and fro wildly, seemingly searching for something that only he could see. His breathing was harsh and loud; he could have just run a marathon.

" Draco?..." Ginny began, causing his eyes to dart towards her.

" Ginny? What are you doing here?"

She didn´t answer. She was still too shocked and not a little scared.

His gaze traveled down to where their hands were still clasped, and he stared at them for a long moment, not moving.

Slowly, his ragged breathing quieted and there was only the normal hush of the Library again. He pulled his hand from hers and tried to stand up.

He almost fell back down on top of her. Seeing that he was too weak to go anywhere, he let himself settle back down on the floor, looking anywhere but towards Ginny. He was deliberately avoiding her gaze.

Ginny, for her part, wasn´t sure how to react. What did you say to someone who had just had some kind of horrible attack that could have killed him, for all she knew, and was now sitting quietly beside you as if nothing had happened?

So she waited instead. For ten long minutes, they sat there together, backs braced against the wall, neither one looking at the other, and both completely silent.

At that moment, neither of them much cared if someone came by and saw them. All they both knew was that they didn´t want to be the one to speak first.

Draco waited patiently after regaining his breath and composure, thinking that she would say something; start in about how mean he was to have talked to her like that, or ask millions of questions about what had just happened, like he knew she was dying to. But she surprised him. She said absolutely nothing, and he realized that she was just as uncertain as he was. She didn´t know what to do or say first anymore than he did, so she had opted to remain quiet and let him make the first move. Smart girl.

Unfortunately, he didn´t have the same option. It seemed he would have to be the first to talk. And for lack of anything better to say, the first thing that came out was an insult. " Enjoying this, Weasel?" he drawled smoothly.

At first Ginny was incredulous. Then she became annoyed, and finally, just down right mad. " No I am not enjoying this! Do you think sitting around in a library with my supposed-to-be worst enemy and waiting for him to say something intelligent to assure me he´s not brain dead from some kind of attack is fun? Because if you think it is, let me know and I´ll leave so you can enjoy mental recuperation by yourself." If recuperation is possible, she added under her breath. He might have been permanently damaged to begin with.

Draco had nothing to say to this, and a few more minutes passed in silence.

By now, Ginny had recovered her temper, and was beginning to get impatient. Why didn´t he say something?!! Then she realized that he had started the other "conversation". Now it was her turn.

" Aren´t you going to tell me what just happened?" It was the only thing she could think of to say. " Are you okay now?" or " You aren´t going to die, are you?" sounded way to stupid to ever be uttered aloud.

" Yeah, I´m fine now." He glanced over at her from his spot a mere few inches away, and his mouth curved up very slightly at the uncertain look on her face. So slightly, in fact, that she couldn´t be sure if she hadn´t just imagined it. " Thanks."

" What?!" she burst out before she could stop herself. " I mean, what did you say?" she corrected in a somewhat lower voice.

" I said thank you." He was looking at her innocently now, and Ginny would almost swear she saw amusement in his eyes.

" For what?" He couldn´t be thanking her. Draco Malfoy did not thank anyone. Or so she thought.

" For saving me a minute ago."

What was he talking about? " All I did was catch you when you started to fall..." Her voice trailed off as she realized what he meant. She hadn´t saved him from external death or outward menace. She had saved him from something inside, and when she realized this, her eyes narrowed in confusion.

" Draco, what is going on?"

Draco sighed, but without any real annoyance; he´d been expecting the question. What he hadn´t expected was that he had no idea how to answer it. He didn´t even know how to start.

He knew he could trust her, that wasn´t the problem, but would she believe him? The story about a necklace that was trying to take over his mind and control his body was pretty far fetched, he knew. She might just think he was crazy. Maybe he was.

Unconsciously, he fingered the ruby-eyes pendant that hung from his neck, and glanced down at it without really seeing it.

At least he didn´t realize he was staring at it until Ginny reached over and felt of the necklace, touching his hand in the process. That woke him up. Her hand was soft and warm, and Draco didn´t think he would have minded if she had left it there forever.

But she pulled back hastily, obviously more uncomfortable with the situation than he was, and there was silence again.

" It´s because of that, isn´t it?" she asked after a pause, indicating the necklace. " It´s doing something to you, I can tell." She looked at him, searching for answers, pleading for the truth.

He couldn´t lie to her anymore, he was in way too deep already, and unfortunately for her, she was in it with him. " Yes, it is," he told her frankly. " But Ginny, it´s not just enchanted, or spelled to hurt anyone who wears it. There`s something inside it." He looked up as he said this and their eyes locked. " Something evil."