Giving Up

I did something awful last night. The last thing anyone would ever do in a situation like mine.

I gave up.

I packed my bag.

And left.

For good? Who knows? Not I.

Does she? Will she understand? Is there any way I could go back now?

I doubt it.

I'm sitting here, on this train. My thoughts in disarray, leaning against a rain splattered window. I can't believe what I'm doing. I'm leaving her; I'm actually leaving her. I'm leaving everyone - everything. I might come back. One day, when all his pain and sufferings are gone. If it's ever gone. That's my job you see. I have to go around and vanquish all evil. I was born to do it.

Or so they think.

But I wasn't. I was born into this world like everyone else, and by a horrific twist of fate, before I was even able to walk or talk, I lost everything. Losing everything meant other people had lost everything too, and despite the fact I was so young, the world's hopes, and their dreams were all on my shoulders. I'm only around for that one purpose. Get rid of Voldemort - and probably die doing it. It'll be easier if I do.

You see, not so long ago, something wrong happened. The hero got the girl. The sidekick's meant to get the girl - I'm meant to get the sidekick's sister. Doesn't help that the sidekick wants the girl too. So if I'm out of the picture it can all fall into place. Not that I want to die, I just want to get rid of all this inner torture.

I suppose all the great hero's and artists have it too. This inner torture, I mean. The nightmares, the scars - both mental and physical - the looks, the stares, the rumours, the whispers. Not even being able to step out of your door without someone trying to kill you.

It's been a hard life, a one I definitely wouldn't wish upon anyone. I try not to live in the past though - but it's hard. So much has happened to me. So much in so little time. I'm barely twenty, and I've lost both of my best friends, found my true love, and now I have to go and leave them all.

I hate it.

There's so much steam and smoke coming out of this train, you can hardly see the platform. Wait, I can see someone moving. Yes, someone's running. I'm quite a way up the train so they won't be running for me. No one knows I'm here - but myself. It's sad really; I'm one of the most famous people in the world, and no one's here to wave me off.

No one.

That girl is still running. I thought she would've stopped by now. She keeps looking in the windows. She's looking for someone. She's drenched, the poor thing. She must have come out into today's rain without an umbrella then.

So it can't be who I think it is. Not Hermione, she'd never do that.

She looks oddly familiar though. It's the hair. It may be wet but it has kept its curliness. She's looking towards me now. Well, not so much towards me as straight through me. Like I'm not there.

It is Hermione!

It can't be.

It's just someone who looks a bit like her.

That's all.

Someone who looks scarily like your Hermione.

Sit down Harry! Stop drawing attention to yourself.

You can't say goodbye - you know that.

I'm talking to myself now. I usually have her to talk to.

No, Hermione. Don't run up to me.

But she did. She's seen me.

Great. So much for being inconspicuous.

It is her.

I fling open the window. She stands on tiptoes, and there's a jolt. The train starts to pull away. There are tears in her eyes.

"Harry, get off that train now! Come home, Harry. Come back with me." The tears are starting to fall. I stroke her hair as she walks along beside the train, her hand clutching the window frame so hard her knuckles are white.

"No, I can't. You have to let me go."

"I can't!" The pace of the train quickens. She hurriedly kisses my cheek.

"I love you," I tell her.

"Harry!"

"I do!"

"No!"

"Herms, I have to!"

"I love you Harry!" her shout is desperate

"Goodbye, Hermione."

"No!" The trains pace finally gets too fast. She falls back. I lean so far out of the window I nearly fall out.

"I love you!" I call one last time, the wind carrying my voice. Her hands fall limply by her sides. I hear her scream something, I can hear the tears in her voice. It's too much to bear. I close the window and sit back down in my seat, speeding towards my new life.

I'll be back.

For her.