The Process of Elimination (Who am I?)

Epilogue

So.

Do you still think you know me?

You might have an idea as to who I am...but it doesn't mean that you know me.

Not really.

You thought that was the end, didn't you?

Not quite.

It isn't the end.

Not yet.

But it will be soon.

§§§

As I lay in the hospital bed, I thought about the past few weeks and how my life was destroyed. I was ruined. One of my best friends was gone...and I was cursed.

Cursed for life.

I don't want my life, though.

I don't want it at all.

I want to die.

I couldn't imagine living the rest of my life like this. Having to take a vile potion every twenty-four hours so that I don't get nosebleeds, so that I don't vomit blue-glowing goo, so that I don't pass out, and so that my nasty seizures aren't as bad as they would be without the potion.

God, I hate those seizures.

Have you ever had one like I have?

No?

Imagine having ten thousand knives stabbing you over and over and over...never stopping...going through your body like a ten thousand volt electric shock...the pain, so unbearable that you can't scream...you can't cry...you can't speak...you can't breath...all that you can do is writhe about on the ground in your pain and pray that either it will stop or you will die.

I chose the latter.

I looked down to my heavily bandaged wrists, and with all my strength I lifted my arm and examine the bandaging. It took all I had to convince Madam Pomfrey to not heal the cuts by magic.

I thought about Harry and cursed him for doing this. If he loved me as he claimed to, then why couldn't he let me die? I just wanted the pain to end...

Notice me

Take my hand

Why are we

Strangers when

Our love is strong

Why carry on without me?

I needed it to end...

...Just then, the very object of my thoughts walked through the door to the Hospital Wing.

"How are you feeling?" he asked softly as he approached. I snorted. Wasn't it obvious? Then I contemplated the thought- apart from being hurt, how did I feel? I felt...I don't know. I knew for sure that I loved Harry, but...gathering all of my strength, I rolled over onto my side, so that my back was towards him.

"Leave me alone," I mumbled, another bout of tears threatening to fall. I felt him sit gently on the bed and run a hand over my back. I shivered at his touch.

Every time I try to fly

I fall without my wings

I feel so small

I guess I need you baby

And every time I see you in my dreams

I see your face, it's haunting me

I guess I need you baby...

I knew I needed him...I couldn't live without him...maybe that just told me that I couldn't live at all.

I turned back to face him.

"I will never leave you," he said, softly but determinedly. On his face was the strongest look of determination that I had ever seen on anyone. And then the tears fell.

He held me as I sobbed, and I wished I could stay in his arms forever, but I knew that it just wasn't possible.

I make believe

That you are here

It's the only way

I see clear

What have I done?

You seem to move on easy...

I broke away from him and looked up at him. I had to be honest with myself. Was he worth the pain?

I may have made it rain

Please forgive me

My weakness caused you pain

And this song is my sorry...

I looked up to him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm sorry I couldn't be stronger..." I sobbed. He shook his head and a tear slid down his cheek.

"No ... no need to apologize," he replied, his voice breaking as he tried not to cry.

"I love you," I replied softly, drifting into unconsciousness.

And every time I try to fly

I fall without my wings

I feel so small

I guess I need you baby

And every time I see you in my dreams

I see your face, you're haunting me

I guess I need you baby

At night I pray

That soon your face

Will fade away...

§§§

I woke up to find Madam Pomfrey checking how my cuts were healing underneath the bandages. She smiled at me.

"Are you ready for your bath?" she asked softly. "I think it's time we washed these cuts again." I took a deep breath and nodded. I knew what I was going to do.

Madam Pomfrey went away for a few minutes to draw the bath. When she returned, she helped me into a bathrobe and walked meto the bathroom. She helped me into the bath and began to bathe me, as I was too weak to do it myself.

Then I heard Harry return to the wing. Madam Pomfrey looked to me.

"Excuse me a moment, dear," she said. "I'll be right back."

She left me alone.

This was it.

I took a deep breath and submerged myself beneath the warm soapy water. I exhaled.

I held my breath for...I don't know how long exactly. But then, finally, to my relief, my pain ended.

Everything went black.

§§§

There was a scream as Madam Pomfrey re-entered the bathroom. Harry rushed in and saw the body floating on top of the water. He let out a strangled cry, and rushed to it. He sobbed and held the body as Madam Pomfrey ran to get Dumbledore.

Dumbledore arrived a few minutes later, gasped, and then also began to weep as Harry lifted the limp body of Cho Chang out of the water.

§§§

And every time I try to fly

I fall without my wings

I feel so small

I guess I need you baby

And every time I see you in my dreams

I see your face, you're haunting me

I guess I need you baby

After all...

After all...

§§§