Visions of Deception

Chapter Twenty-Six:

Remus returned to Liliann's quarters to find Sirius pacing in the living room.

"Keep that up and you'll wear a hole in her floor," He said jokingly.

"Did you find her?" Sirius asked walking over to Remus.

"Yep, everyone's accounted for," Remus said, "She's with Snape, just like I told you she'd be."

"Good," Sirius said calming down. "What are we going to do?"

"About Peter? Right now there's nothing we can do, we just have to be ready for anything."

"Do you still think he'll come after her during the feast?" Sirius asked.

"Well if it were me, I'd say no, but this is Peter so I'd say definitely." Remus said sullenly. "I hate to say this but I hope she has another vision before Halloween, maybe it will tell us what he's up to."

Sirius nodded in agreement. They stood there for a moment looking at each other wondering what to do next.

"Let's go," Remus said finally turning toward the door. "Lily's in good hands and we've probably put a dent in Peter's plans, I think we may be able to breath again,"

"I hope you're right," Sirius said as they left Liliann's quarters and headed toward Remus'.

"Let's go outside," Sirius suggested. "We're together, and a Professor knows where we're going," he added.

"You are too much sometimes," Remus said with a smile.

"Don't you just adore technicalities?" Sirius said with a grin.

Deciding that the rules didn't apply to they anyway, Remus took Sirius by the hand and they traipsed off to for a moonlight stroll.

* * * * *

Chapter Twenty-Eight:

Liliann finished her bath and rejoined Severus who was sitting in the living room with a cup of tea. He looked up at her and smiled as she entered the room. Walking across the room she sat down on the sofa and looked at him.

"You know, I think over half my closet is in this room," she joked.

"I know," he said smiling at her.

"You look deep in thought, care to share?" she asked.

"I was just trying to figure out how Draco snuck Petigrew into the school," Severus revealed. Liliann shrugged.

"I don't know." She said shaking her head. "As much as I hate them, I wish I would have another vision, then I may know what's going to happen next."

"Despite the fact that your visions provide us with important information, I wish that there was a way for us to stop them, or perhaps control them." Severus said.

Liliann nodded in agreement. They sat in silence until Liliann began to hum.

"What are you humming?" he inquired.

"I was humming? Oh I'm sorry, I was singing to myself..." she said looking at the fireplace.

"It wasn't a bother, I was just wondering what it was," he commented.

"It was a song from America," she told him. "I can never remember the words but I can always remember the tune," she laughed. "Amusing isn't it?"

Laughing he nodded. "Yes that is quite amusing,"

"Do you think Peter will come after me on Halloween?" she asked seriously.

Severus looked at her with a shocked expression. How had the conversation gone from an American song that she couldn't remember the words to all the way to Peter Petigrew?

"I am not sure," he began cautiously, "Perhaps. He certainly is crazy enough,"

"What a rat bastard," Liliann commented.

"Rat!" Severus said suddenly.

"What about a rat?" she questioned.

"That's how Draco got him in," he explained.

"Huh? You lost me babe," she said completely confused. "What does a rat have to do with that boy sneaking Peter inside?"

"You mean you don't know?"

"Know what?" she questioned.

"Peter is an animagus." Severus told her. She looked at him completely lost.

"A what?" she asked.

"You know, an animagus, a shape shifter," he said.

"Oh, right, I've been away so long that I only refer to them as shape shifters."

"He can transform into a rat," Severus informed her.

"A rat?" she questioned. "How appropriate."

"Yes a rat. That's how he got into Hogwarts. That's how he'll get in the night of the feast." Severus declared. He looked to Liliann who had turned an unhealthy white. She sat down slowly.

"In Divinations, the first week," she began slowly. "I noticed a rat, and I didn't think anything of it, I just alerted Filch later. He's been in my classroom," she said. Her expression was a mix of fear and anger.

"It's alright," Severus said walking over to her and wrapping her in a warm embrace.

"If he can do that then it doesn't matter what we do he'll get to me," she said fatalistically. "And he'll kill me this time."

"He will not get the chance," Severus assured her. "I'm not letting you out of my sight for a second. He'll have to go through me to get to you,"

"But then you'd be killed," she said looking at him.

"I'll do whatever I have to do to protect you,"

"But I don't want anything to happen to you," she said draping her hands around his neck and beginning to play with his hair.

"Nothing will happen to me," He assured her. "You must remember, Peter thinks I am one of them."

She had completely forgotten about the mark on his left arm. What if Peter expected Severus to help him? She shivered.

"That won't stop him from killing you to get to me," she said.

"Yes but it may just give us an advantage." He said. "Just remember, whatever happens, I love you and I will not hurt you. You do trust me don't you?"

She nodded. "With my life."

* * * * *

Chapter Twenty-Nine:

Peter paced back and forth in the forbidden forest. His plans were indeed falling apart. What was he going to do? He had everything planned, right down to the last scream, how did they keep figuring him out? He had to get back into Hogwarts, but how? He could just transform into a rat and sneak in but that was too easy. He knew that he was missing a piece of the puzzle. Every time something went wrong for him something new presented itself to make it right again. Thinking, he rolled up his sleeves and looked at his left arm.

"Snape," he said aloud realizing that's what he had been missing. "She trusts him," he clapped his hands together and a sinister smile spread across his face.

"He will take me right to her," he thought to the trees. "As a fellow death eater, he can not refuse to aid me in my quest," he added. "I'll send him a letter," realizing that he was not out of the game yet Peter transformed into a rat and ran off to his small hideaway near Hogsmeade to write and send Severus the letter.

* * * * *

Liliann lay curled up in Severus' arms. He was asleep, but she was wide awake. She lay there thinking about the conversation that she had with him earlier. Why had he told her not to trust her eyes? Did he have a plan? She was confused but rather than ask him to explain she pretended to understand him. There were other things weighing on her now as well. She had almost forgotten about the dark mark on his arm and the fact that he was a spy but now that information lay upon her like a brick wall. Being a spy was dangerous and he could be killed. She was not sure if she could handle losing someone she loved, someone she really and truly loved to the darkness. She knew that being a spy was a vital role in the fight against Voldemort but was it really worth his life? She rolled over and ran her hand over the necklace he had given her. Tears began to roll down her cheeks and she cried slowly and quietly so as not to wake Severus. She found herself watching him sleep as the tears fell and she could feel herself shutting down on him. She could not allow herself to get any closer to him. She couldn't bear the pain of losing him. She also couldn't think of putting him through the loss of her if Peter got to her.

Gently rolling out of bed she walked over to the glass doors. She had forgotten all about the charm that he had placed on them. She reached for the handle and as soon as it had begun to turn the doors began to screech.

* * * * *

Chapter Thirty:

Severus sat straight up in bed and looked over at the glass doors. Liliann was on the floor, he hands wrapped around her head, trying to block out the sound. He grabbed his wand and stopped the noise. Rushing to her side, he helped her off of the floor and onto the edge of the bed. Her face was red and tear streaked.

"It's okay," he began looking at her with confusion. "What were you doing?"

"I was going to open the door, to stand outside for a second," she said, "I completely forgot about the charm on the door,"

"Why did you want to go outside?"

"I couldn't sleep," she told him. He looked at her, trying to figure out why she looked as if she had been crying. He sat down beside her and wrapped his arm around her. He knew something was wrong when she flinched. The look in her eyes gave him a chill.

"What's the matter?" he asked her.

"Nothing," she said looking away from him.

"Why do you do that?" he asked her. "I want to be close but you won't let me near, what are you afraid of?" he asked her.

"Myself," she said putting her head down and looking at the floor.

"What's really bothering you?"

"Nothing," she said again.

"Okay fine, if you say nothing, then it's nothing." He was unsure of how to react. He was not sure if he was angry or upset or insulted that she would not talk to him. He was about to walk away from her when she put her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his.

"Are you sure you want to get into this with me?" she asked him.

He nodded. She took his left arm and turned it over and looked at the dark mark. "That's what's wrong," she said quietly.

"I can't make it go away," he said.

"No, it's not the mark itself," she explained hoping that he would understand, "it's that you are a spy. It's dangerous. I think about the fact that you could go to a meeting at any time and they could have figured you and they will kill you. I can't bare to go through the pain of losing you." she finished. He sat and looked at her too stunned to react.

"Lily, I've been doing it for a long time, I'm careful."

"You don't understand." She said. "All you can see is that you hold a seemingly very important job, and you're right it is important, but is it more important than your life?"

He tried to hug her but she pulled away. "Lily, what do you want me to do? Quit? Just stop going to meetings?" he asked in an annoyed tone.

"Yes," she said bluntly. "That is what I would like but I know you can't do that...or maybe it's that you won't do that."

"Lily, I can't quit and you know it."

She began to cry. She left her perch on the edge of the bed and began to walk around the room, hugging herself. "I'm so scared that one day they'll summon you and you'll never come back," she said. "I'm afraid for you,"

He walked over to where she was standing but she shrugged him away when he placed his hands on her shoulder.

"So that's it you just shut down on me completely and get cold?" he asked both fear and annoyance in his tone. "You expect me to just up and quit. Well I cannot and I will not. If I die at least I shall die with honor doing my part to stop him." he snapped at her.

"Well then you'll do it alone," she said and she ran from the room. As soon as she was gone his room felt empty and useless. He wanted to run after her but his pride would not allow him to.

* * * * *

Chapter Thirty-One:

Remus and Sirius had just come back inside from their walk and were walking hand in hand down the entrance hallway when they spotted Liliann. She was sitting on the ground in front of the dragon that guarded her quarters sobbing uncontrollably. This sight alarmed them and they ran over to her.

"What happened? What's wrong?" Sirius asked her, dropping to his knees. She said nothing and she continued to sob. Her hands were streaked with blood and there was a small trail of it leading under the dragon and into the hallway.

"Are you hurt?" Sirius asked.

She looked at him. "I...I came to my room," she began trying to ebb the flow of tears but to no avail. "I went into my room...and there...there was...there was a..." she burst into loud sobs once more, unable to finish her sentence. Sirius enveloped her in a hug and Remus dropped to his knees and did the same.

"Can you try to tell me what you saw?" Remus asked quietly.

"I saw...I saw a pool of blood in the bedchamber and beside the blood was a cat. A dead cat. It had been drained of all its blood. The blood is all over the floor. I slipped and fell in it trying to get out of the room," she explained sniffing and trying to calm down. "I don't need this tonight," she said.

"I'll walk you back to Snape's," Sirius offered.

"No!" Liliann said quickly.

"No?" Remus asked in surprise. "Liliann what's going on?"

"I don't care to get into it right now," she said.

"You can stay in Remus' tonight, and we'll clean up the hellacious mess in the morning," Sirius offered. She looked to Remus.

"Yep, I have a most comfortable sofa that I can sleep on," he nodded.

"No," Liliann said. "If anyone will sleep on a sofa it will be me," Remus looked at her and smiled.

"If you want the sofa that badly, you can sleep there." He assured her.

"Would you like me to go and see Snape to gather some of your stuff?" Sirius asked. She nodded numbly. Remus led her off in the direction of his quarters while Sirius headed off toward the dungeons.

* * * * *

Chapter Thirty-Two:

Severus stood in the center of his bedchamber not sure of what to do. He felt horrible about what he had said to Liliann. He loved her but his pride refused to let him admit that to anyone especially himself. He glanced down at his left arm. The mark stuck out brilliantly on his pale skin. Pondering how to handle the situation he heard a knock on the door.

"Just a moment," he said composing himself and sprinting from the bedchamber to the door. He opened it to find a very solemn looking Sirius Black standing there.

"Yes?" Severus said.

"I'm here on Liliann's behalf," he began. "She asked me to come get some of her stuff,"

"Oh, come in," Severus said. He had no desire to fight with anyone else tonight. "Is she alright?" he inquired.

"Well she didn't come to see you herself, do you honestly think that she's alright?" Sirius said somewhat angrily.

"Oh, I see," Severus said. "What are you here to get?" He asked.

"Well, she'll need some fresh sleep wear, her brush and whatever else she uses to get ready in the morning, and clothes, shoes, and whatever she uses in the shower." He said. "I hope she's got a bag of some sort here for all this."

Severus walked over to his wardrobe and pulled out a small looking duffle bag. He silently gathered all of Liliann's things and placed them inside the bag. Zipping it up he placed it on his shoulder.

"Shall we be off?" he asked. Sirius looked at him in confusion. "I have got to talk to her, I will not be able to sleep at all knowing she's angry with me." He said. Sirius took a deep breath.

"Although I think I'm going to regret this, I'll let you bring her the bag." He said reluctantly. "But if she even so much as looks like she's going to cry, I'm throwing you out. Understand?"

Severus nodded and he followed Sirius back to the living quarters of Remus Lupin.

* * * * *

Remus opened the door to his quarters and led Liliann inside. He showed her to his bathroom so she could wash the blood off of her hands and arms. He also threw her a very long button down shirt.

"You can wear that if you feel comfortable in it, at least till Sirius gets here with your things," he called to her.

"Thank you, it will be fine," she said. He heard running water and went into the kitchen to boil some milk. He was not sure what she would be drinking but he would love some hot chocolate right about now. Taking three mugs down from the cupboard he placed the chocolate mix on the counter and being sure the burner was turned on low he walked back into the living room.

He sat down in an armchair just as Liliann emerged from the bathroom. She walked over to the sofa and sat down hugging one of the small pillows.

"What's wrong?" he asked her.

"Nothing," she said looking at the rug.

"Lil, don't make me play twenty questions with you to get the answers. You can talk to me, I'm not going to judge you."

She looked at Remus and smiled faintly. She really wanted to talk to someone about the mess she had managed to make.

"Well," she began hesitantly, "I...I've gotten rather...umm...attached to Severus," she said. "And I was laying in bed with him and I couldn't sleep. And to make a real long story short I ended up starting a fight," she said.

"Okay," Remus said sitting back. "Did you sleep with him?" he asked.

"Well, we sleep in the same bed," she said blushing a bit, "but we've never done anything other than kiss, if that's what you were getting at,"

"Do you trust him?"

"Absolutely," she said with conviction.

"Do you love him?" he asked her.

"I...I think so, I'm not sure anymore," she said sadly.

"You're not sure?" he asked her.

"Well, I'm not sure if I can take the pain of getting crushed again." She confessed.

"Pain of getting crushed? You mean you think he'll betray you?" he asked her.

"No, I mean, I honestly don't think that he would betray me, I'm just not going to put myself in the position to have to suffer if he gets hurt," she said.

"Oh, I see."

"Remus, He's a spy. Sooner or later Voldemort's going to find out. I don't think I could bear to go through losing him," she said shaking her head.

"So you tried to push him away?" he asked quietly.

"I decided to not get any closer, to try to distance myself," she admitted.

"Have you two talked about this? Does he know how you feel?"

"Well, it was brought up tonight. I asked him to quit being a spy. He said that he can't," she told Remus.

"He's right you know. It's impossible for him to just quit being a spy. That means he would have to quit being a death eater. The only way that happens is if you are dead."

Liliann sat numbly on the sofa with her head down. She had not thought about the possibility that they would kill Severus because he wanted out.

"I know that you are afraid, and I know you've been hurt," Remus began. He stood and walked over to the sofa, sat beside Liliann, and wrapped her in a hug. "But keeping people at arm's length because you're afraid to see them get hurt is just going to cause you more pain. Nothing ventured nothing gained. You need to follow your heart on this one."

She looked at Remus. "What should I do?" she asked him hardly able to find her voice.

"Talk to him for starters," he told her smiling. "Let him know exactly how you feel but don't push him away. If you love him, which I think you do," Remus continued, "you can't push him away. It will hurt you and him. If you love him, let him get close to you, and you should get close to him. You have to remember, him being a death eater is a dangerous for you as it is for him."

"What?" she asked.

"Well, if Voldemort would find out, they would more than likely want him to suffer, so they would go after the one thing he cares for most." Remus said softly. "Don't you think that he would love to get out of this mess? He's placing you in danger. He doesn't want to, just like he doesn't enjoy being in danger, but that's how it works."

"You're really smart you know that," she said and she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks, I try," he said smiling at her. She stood, turning to leave and ran right into Sirius and there standing behind him, head down, was Severus.

* * * * *

Chapter Thirty-Three:

Severus and Sirius walked in just in time to see Liliann smile at Remus. She stood as if she were about to leave and ran right into Sirius. She looked past him to see Severus stand there looking very unhappy.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she exclaimed looking at Sirius. When she saw Severus standing behind him she gave him a funny look.

"I picked up a hitchhiker," Sirius joked. He looked at Liliann and when she smiled at him he knew that she was not angry about his decision to bring Severus.

"I have some milk on the stove," Remus said looking to Sirius. "I'm making hot chocolate, would you like some?"

"Yes please," Liliann said. "Severus would you like some tea?" she asked.

"I suppose if it isn't any trouble,"

"No trouble, come help me Sirius," Remus said and he and Sirius dashed into the kitchen leaving Severus and Liliann standing awkwardly in the living room.

"I need to talk to you," she began. They both sat on the sofa and said nothing.

"Liliann, I'm sorry I lost my temper with you. If you wish for me to desist in my spying duties, I shall find a way to do so," he said.

"You can't do that." She said. "I wish you could, I want you to, but you can't. To stop being a spy means to stop being a death eater. To try to stop being a death eater is like signing your own death certificate,"

He just looked at her. "I was not going to put it so bluntly," he said. " But yes, they would probably kill me,"

"Severus, I was going to try to distance myself from you, because I didn't think I could stand the pain of losing you, of someone killing you." she began.

"Liliann," he interrupted.

"I'm not finished," she said.

"Finish," he said quietly and patiently, sitting back and looking at her.

"Remus brought something to my attention that I had not realized. I'm in just as much danger as you are. If they find out they may attempt to kill me to 'punish' you," she said. "So distancing myself from you is no good. It will just make me hurt even more." she stopped now, unsure of what to say next, and unsure of his reaction.

Severus looked at her. She had told him everything he meant to tell her. It was amazing how alike they were. "So, where do we stand?" he asked her.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Are you going to leave me?" he said just above a whisper.

"I love you," she said about to cry. "I don't want anything to happen to you but I know that you can't just up and quit, it's not that easy. It's part of who you are."

"For you, I would find a way," he said unsure of whether or not they were still together.

"No. You'll do what you need to. I love you either way."

He leaned forward and kissed her gently. She kissed him back, pulling him toward her and wrapping her arms around him.

"I guess this means that I packed this bag in vain," he said smiling. "Unless of course you would rather sleep on Remus' sofa,"

"Not a chance," she said smiling happy that everything had been made right.

"Why did you not just go back to your room?" Severus asked somewhat confused.

Liliann grimaced. "I did go to my room only to discover a pool of blood and a dead and rather bloodless cat on the floor," she told him.

"Sounds like Petigrew got into the room," Severus said a frown on his face. "I won't let him hurt you," he added.

She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. "I know you won't," she said.

"I love you Liliann," he said.

"And I you," she replied.

They sat together on the sofa happy once more. Just as Liliann was about to doze off she heard Remus say, "One steaming mug of hot chocolate and one mug of tea coming your way," she opened her eyes and smiled. People who cared about her surrounded her. She was in love and had friends who would defend her. She felt as if she could take on anyone even Peter. Little did she know that feeling would be challenged soon enough.

* * * * *

Chapter Thirty-Three:

Remus and Sirius went into the small kitchen and shut to door. They had left Liliann and Severus alone to talk and were hoping all would go well.

"So why's she angry with him?" Sirius demanded.

"Shh, not so loud," Remus said giving him an irritated glance.

"Sorry," Sirius whispered, smiling. Remus smiled back.

"Lily's in love," he said.

"I knew that,"

"No, I mean, head over heels in love. Like I am with you," Remus said. Sirius smiled. "She is afraid for him. She's afraid that his spying on Voldemort is going to land him in a wooden box six feet under," Remus explained.

"Oh." Sirius blinked. "And the whole Petigrew thing isn't helping is it?"

"Nope. She wanted to distance herself from him so that if she got hurt he wouldn't suffer and if he ended up getting hurt she wouldn't suffer," Remus explained. The kettle with the milk was just the right temperature and he poured some into each mug. He mixed the hot chocolate and then started on Severus' tea.

"How can anyone drink tea at a time like this?" he said jokingly. "Even his choice of drinks are always serious," Remus said shaking his head.

"Wonder if everything is resolved between them," Sirius said, tempted to look in on them.

"Well, we shall find out soon enough," Remus said. "Grab those two and let's go," he said but Sirius had other ideas. He walked over to Remus and took the two mugs from his hands. Before Remus could react he enveloped him in an embrace and kissed him.

"I figured I'd buy Snape some time," he said.

"Liar," Remus said smiling. "You're just trying to make up a good excuse,"

"Am I that transparent?" Sirius grinned. "I want you, I need you," he said with a sly smile.

"Later love, let's first concentrate on getting Liliann and Snape fixed, or else there will be no wanting or needing because she'll be on the sofa," Remus said stifling laughter.

"Okay, let's grab those mugs and get going, what are you waiting for?" Sirius said enthusiastically. "Slacker," he said jokingly, shaking his head and smiling. Remus laughed and kissed him on the cheek.

"You are a silly man," he said. "But I love you,"

"I know, and I love you," Sirius said as he picked up two of the mugs and walked swiftly toward the kitchen door.

"One steaming mug of hot chocolate and one mug of tea coming your way," Remus called out cheerfully as they entered the living room. They looked over at Severus and Liliann and couldn't help but smile. They sat on the sofa together, Liliann looked as if she were about to doze off. She opened her eyes and smiled as he handed her the hot chocolate.

"Thanks," she said leaning against Severus and sipping her hot chocolate. Remus handed Severus his tea and Severus nodded in thanks. Remus reclaimed his favorite chair. Handing Remus his mug of hot chocolate, Sirius flopped down on the floor leaning against his chair. The room was silent for a few moments.

Liliann broke the silence. "I am exhausted," she said yawning.

"You do look really tired." Sirius noted.

"Would you like to go?" Severus asked her. She nodded and she turned and put her feet on the floor to stand still holding the mug in her hand. She attempted to stand but sat back down and shook her head.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked. He noticed that she had a strained look on her face.

"Yeah, I just got dizzy, I think I sat up too quickly," she said and she attempted to stand again, this time with success.

"Thank you for everything," Severus said to Remus and Sirius and he handed Remus his empty cup. He bent down and hoisted Liliann's unneeded duffle bag onto his shoulder and turned to look at her.

"Any time," Remus said with a smile. Liliann started to walk over to him when she felt the dizziness sweep over her. Severus looked at her and realized what was about to happen.

"She's going..." he began but did not get the words out. Liliann's eyes had rolled back into her head and she dropped the mug she was about to hand to Sirius. The mug shattered as Liliann began to fall.

* * * * *

Chapter Thirty-Four:

Sirius was closest to Liliann and caught her with ease. He stood her up and Remus helped him carry her to the sofa. Severus had dropped the duffle bag and watched helplessly knowing that until they got her to the sofa there was nothing he could do.

"What happened to her?" Sirius asked. They watched as her breathing slowed to a crawl and the color in her face disappeared.

"She's having a vision," Severus informed them.

"This is how she has visions? They just slap her and then she falls over?" Sirius said angrily. Severus nodded.

"This is why she was found unconscious in the garden," Remus commented. Again all Severus could do was nod. He felt so helpless.

"There has got to be a way to stop this," Sirius said. "This can't be good for her."

They stood silently encircling the sofa watching intently, waiting with anticipation for her to regain consciousness.

"How long will she be out?" Remus inquired, studying her.

"It depends really. The first time she was only unconscious for a few moments, the last time however she was unconscious for at least ten minutes," Severus said. "Each visions provides her with a migraine headache." Having said that he realized that her headache potion was not in the room. "I must go to my quarters, to fetch the potion she takes for her headaches," with those words uttered he turned and raced towards his quarters, he wanted to be there when she awoke.