Rating:
PG-13
House:
The Dark Arts
Characters:
Severus Snape
Genres:
Angst Drama
Era:
Multiple Eras
Stats:
Published: 05/25/2002
Updated: 05/31/2002
Words: 6,881
Chapters: 2
Hits: 906

Near You Always

Potions Mistress

Story Summary:
Snape Have a Lost Love? Preposterous! Or is it?

Chapter 01

Posted:
05/25/2002
Hits:
619
Author's Note:
Somewhat Mary Sue-ish in nature (but all of my stories are) :o) Any complaints take it up with my Beta... she told me it was good.

Near you Always


Chapter One

Severus stood on his balcony looking up at the moon. It was nothing more than a sliver in the sky but the small ray of light shone on his worn face. He had visibly aged more in the past year than he had in all his years combined. His eyes had become nothing more than sunken lifeless dots that stared out at the rest of the world. He was tired and alone. At one time he would have been happy and alive but now all he felt was sorrow and pain. The world was empty and dark to him now. He had lost so much.

The brisk winter air whipped around him and he shivered. Tears began to run down his face but he barely noticed. Snow began to fall and the memory of his lost love came flooding back. Raven loved the snow, he thought to himself and he could contain his sorrow no longer. Tears flooded from his eyes and he crumbled onto the cold stone floor of his balcony. He buried his head in his hands and brought his knees up to his chest. Her voice rang out in the back of his mind, Severus, come inside, you'll get sick! This thought brought about a renewing force behind his tears. He curled up on the ground like a helpless child and all he could do is weep. Why had he left her alone that night? Why had he fought with her? Why had he not believed her? Had he listened to her would she still be alive? Why had he been so stubborn?

The snow had started falling harder and was soaking through his robes. Rising shakily to his feet with tears still in his eyes, Severus retreated to his living quarters. Looking around the room brought a fresh stab of pain. He hadn't moved a thing since she had died. He looked at her smiling picture that hung above the mantle and felt the tears come again. Today was so much harder than normal days because today would have been their second wedding anniversary. He walked over to his dresser and pulled a small box from its depths. With tears in his eyes he walked across the dimly lit room and placed the box beneath the picture.

"I know you'll never get to open it," he found himself saying to the picture, "but I wanted you to see that I'm still thinking of you." He shut his eyes in agony. Instantly her form appeared and with an excited twinkle in her hazel eyes she said Oh Severus! What is it?! Crying once more he could hear himself tell her to open it. He could hear her squeal with delight when she opened the box to discover a silver pendant. It was a small silver dragon with emeralds for eyes. He could see her pleased expression as she insisted that he put it on for her. He would do as she requested placing it delicately around her neck and kissing her gently.

Once again he began to sob. He missed her more than he could describe. He wanted to die. He decided that the next best thing was sleep. He decided that he would take a sleeping draught and sleep as deep as death.

About an hour later Severus Snape slid into his cold and empty bed and fell into a fitful sleep. The dreams came again. The events of that dreadful night had haunted his dreams almost constantly.

* * * * *


It was mid December. He and Raven had been married two weeks before on the first. Raven was a half-blood and hadn't been to Diagon Alley since her graduation from Hogwarts. He had met Raven in his third year. She had struck him as a very smart first year. He was impressed with her from the moment she told the rest of the first years in a loud and certain voice, "I'm going to be in Slytherin." When Professor McGonagall called her name she walked confidently up onto the platform, turned around, and caught Severus's gaze. The thing that had intrigued him the most is that rather than look away she held his gaze. He felt his face flush and he looked away. She smiled triumphantly and in unison with the sorting hat yelled, "Put her in…. Slytherin!!" There was massive applause and she chose the seat directly across from Severus. It was quite obvious that she had a crush but it would be some time before anything would come of it.

* * * * *


Severus rolled over and sat up. He hated when he dreamed of his first days at Hogwarts. He decided to make himself a stronger sleeping draught. He pulled on his bathrobe and slid on his slippers. He trudged slowly down to the dungeons, passing Filch and Mrs. Norris along the way. As he began to brew his potion, he felt himself getting drowsy. Turning to walk away he got dizzy, tripped, and hit his head on the cold dungeon floor.

* * * * *


Coming back to Hogwarts at this point seemed monotonous. He was a fifth year now and school was no longer a new or exciting experience. He walked in along with the rest of the upperclassmen and sat down at the Slytherin table. A girl of about 14 sat down across from him. He had the strangest feeling that they had met before but he could not place her in his memory. She smiled at him. He found himself telling her his name and extending a hand. "Raven Mert-Sekmet Nightshade," she told him as she too extended a hand. But rather than shaking her hand he found himself kissing it. I can't believe that that is Raven he mused. He was amazed to see how much she had changed from that awkward first year he had met so long ago. She smiled at him her ears turning bright red. She suddenly looked shy and averted her eyes. He thought her raven colored hair was beautiful and he found himself wanting to run his hand through it.

During the feast he caught himself watching her. What's the matter with me? he asked himself. When the feast ended Severus found himself hurrying to catch up with her but was cut off by a tall boy with dark hair and gray-blue eyes.

"Got ourselves a little girlfriend have we?" Sirius Black teased.

"I do not know what you're talking about Sirius," Severus said coolly.

"The Marauders and I have been watching you all night, you haven't taken your eyes off of her."

"What were you doing watching me? Pining over what you can't have?"

"Like what?" Sirius shot back.

"Like me," a voice said from behind him. Sirius' jaw dropped. Raven had appeared behind them from out of nowhere. How dare she suggest such a thing! Sirius thought to himself. "The only reason I can think of that you'd notice whom was watching whom is if you were interested in one of them," Raven said in an eerie tone.

"I'd hate to know what people might think," Severus said getting over the shock of Raven's proposal. "If they thought that Sirius Black and his hoard of Gryffindors were pining after a Slytherin. Run along little Gryffindor." He finished in a singsong tone.
Sirius stalked off disappointed at the disastrous outcome of the confrontation.

"Who was that?" Raven inquired. Severus rolled his eyes.

"A Gryffindor by the name of Sirius Black and a pain in my neck." Severus informed her. She smiled at him and he found himself smiling back.

"I do love a good challenge," Raven told Severus.

"As do I," Severus replied.

That year at school seemed to fly by. Raven caused just as much friction as he did. Sparks flew every time she was in the same room with Sirius Black or any of his friends. It seemed that she especially targeted Sirius. Severus enjoyed her company immensely but pretended not to. It wasn't until the incident on Halloween that he realized just how much she had grown on him.