Antares

Chapter Eleven - Uncertain Future

Preparation for OWL's became most of the fuss for fifth years after the Easter holiday. Daphne was gradually getting less perky, and Victoria was quieter than ever, her vocabulary consisting mostly of, "Shall we study?"

Sometimes, when Aki studied in the common room, Cho would come and sit with her. She would just sit quietly, inspecting Aki's notes and watching her intently. There would be the odd time when Aki would sneak a peek at Cho. Aki couldn't help but be a touch envious of the little girl. Mostly because Cho didn't have to take OWL's this year, but also a little bit because she couldn't help noticing how pretty Cho was for her age.

There was no denying it; Aki was stressed. She couldn't go more than two hours of studying without getting angry at her notes. So one quiet afternoon in the Great Hall, Aki could feel a strain on her eyes as she had been reading the same page for half an hour. She rubbed them and then let her hands slam back down to the table. Neither Victoria nor Daphne even flinched from the loud noise. They sat steadfast and hopelessly lost in the facts of their textbooks.

This stressful time did have one advantage; Victoria and Daphne could spend a whole afternoon with eachother without getting snippy. However, this was probably because they were too preoccupied with studying to be aware of each other's existence.

The noise level in the hall was similar to that of the library, except for low mumbles that were barely noticed. The students were nicely scattered around the room; even the younger years had come to get a good hour or two of quiet for their upcoming exams. Seated beside Aki was Daphne, and across was Victoria. Rachel was missing today, doing Lord-knows-what. Rachel was never really around when they were studying.

In the middle of the table between the three were all different varieties of textbooks. A half-empty bowl of Easter treats was also there, but it was situated closer to Aki and Daphne's side of the table. Aki hunched over in her seat, so undeniably bored and tired. She ruffled the pages of her textbook and grimaced at the number of pages she still had to read. She scanned the other books on the table, figuring that a change of material for her brain would do some good. Aki pushed some books around on the table, but found her hand close on a long, somewhat stiff envelope near Victoria's side of the table.

"What's this you have?"

"Post from home," Victoria responded haggardly, not bothering to look up.

"What's this?"

Aki inspected the envelope more closely and read the words that greeted her.

"Addressed to Victoria Maris Bry--"

Victoria's eyes shot open and she snatched the envelope out of Aki's hands fast enough to give her paper cuts. Victoria buried it deep into her book bag, looking as though Aki had just discovered items she'd stolen.

"What was that?" said Aki, her hands still closed on an imaginary envelope.

"That was nothing," Victoria answered quickly.

"It wasn't nothing," Aki protested. "What was that other name beside yours there?"

Victoria didn't answer; her head was down and she was nervously scratching behind her ear. By this time, Daphne was also a little interested and had perked up from her book.

"Eh, Victoria?" Aki pressed. "What was that?"

Victoria tried to laugh it off casually, but it just came out sounding forced and tense. It was the first time that she looked so flustered. Victoria glimpsed to Daphne, but Daphne was just smirking back at her triumphantly. There was no Rachel to help out and tell Aki to naff off.

"What was it?" Aki inquired again, on the edge of her seat and eyes glittering with anticipation.

Avoiding anyone's gaze, Victoria faltered a bit on her confession.

"That... that was my middle name."

"Really?" Aki got very interested. "What is it???"

Daphne snorted through her nose but hastily put a finger under it to mute herself. She didn't make another sound, but she was shaking, about to burst with laughter.

"What's your middle name?" Aki asked eagerly, slapping her whole hand on the table.

Victoria's cheeks had caved in, like she had something extremely sour in her mouth.

"Never mind!" Victoria shot back like an irritated mother. "It is not important."

"Can I see that envelope again?"

"Aki!" Victoria said through tight lips, in that aggressive way.

That was the one to shut Aki up. She jumped as soon as that glare pierced her, and she shrunk down smaller into her seat until Victoria had stopped glowering at her. When Victoria was angry, she'd stay so calm, yet still be so scary.

There was utter stillness between them for a solid ten seconds, until Daphne apparently could not hold in her amusement any longer.

"Maris?"

Victoria snapped her head in Daphne's direction with the same threatening expression she had used on Aki. Daphne was not as affected by it, as she simply shrugged indifferently and went back to her textbook, restraining her giggles. Victoria's breathing was vicious and coming out very loud through her nose. Aki got the feeling that Victoria was quite cross with her now for announcing her middle name, especially to Daphne.

Aki gazed off to anywhere but straight ahead where Victoria sat. Down at the other end of the Ravenclaw table, all seven players of the Quidditch team were having a fun time studying together. That is, with the exception of Davies, who appeared to be frantically explaining something to Fairchilds. Fairchilds just kept waving his hand around to brush off whatever Davies was trying to drill into him.

Behind her, Aki surveyed the entire length of the Slytherin table and its occupants. They were mostly younger students that she didn't know, but not far away was that girl with the long black hair, Moira. She looked up, and this time, Aki tried smiling at her. Moira smiled back.

Aki turned back around in her seat, skimming the other side of the room. The Hufflepuff table had a few students here and there, munching on some Easter treats while they studied.

The Gryffindor table was the emptiest. Thus, it was not hard to miss the small group of four sitting at the left end of the table. A pair of redheaded twins were sitting across from each other, and beside one of the twins with her back to Aki was a black girl. Although, the thing that interested Aki the most was the person sitting next to the other twin, Oliver.

There he was, enthusiastically gesturing while saying something to his friends. The twin beside him, however, kept rolling his eyes. It was strange; Oliver was aware that they were bored, but he didn't get upset. He just continued talking happily, trying to get his audience as excited as he was.

He really was a nice bloke. Contrary to what she had been forcing herself to believe.

Keeping away from Oliver was going to be very hard indeed.

"Who are you looking at, Aki?" Victoria said.

There was that suspicious, nagging twinge in Victoria's voice. Aki could see her scrutinizing her with utmost attention. Victoria was already a little angry, and upsetting her further by letting her know that she was looking at Oliver was the worst idea you could come up with.

Aki darted her eyes back down to her Potions textbook. She anxiously fiddled with her robe under the table and sighed.

"No one."

*****

Aki took slow, unwilling steps down the corridors of Hogwarts. Wednesday had come, and it was time for her career consultation with Professor Flitwick. She had not been looking forward to this day at all, and found it a very irritating nuisance in her otherwise uneventful week. Studying was already a great enough thorn in her side; fretting about a simple conference was much unwelcome.

Just last night, instead of getting some good bed rest, Aki was mulling over the potential questions that could be hurled at her. She managed to come up with somewhat well thought-out answers to most of the possible questions, but she had to keep reminding herself of what those ingenious answers were.

She passed Trevor as he was coming down his last flight of stairs, which meant that she was already late for her consultation. She asked him how it went, but Trevor only shrugged and mumbled a string of incoherent jargon.

Aki continued ascending up the stairs to the seventh floor, trying to decipher what Trevor had said. She could only assume that his advice wasn't up to his expectations. Her sweaty hands dragged over the stone banister. She needed to grip it tightly because it felt like her legs were about to crumble with every step.

She came to the seventh floor and Professor Flitwick's office at last, feeling some shortness of breath at this point. Aki sized up the door that was going to change her future. It was a quaint sort of door whose knob was a bit lower than usual. It was ajar, but she could hear no sound going on inside. She carefully rapped on the wood, her knocks almost inaudible.

"Yes!" piped a voice from within. "Come in, come in!"

Aki cautiously pushed open the office door, gradually easing her face into the widening gap to peek in. Professor Flitwick had stood up in his chair, and was waving his hand enthusiastically for her to enter.

"Come now, don't be shy!" he said merrily.

Aki was still disinclined when she stepped in, despite the professor's gaiety. As she stood there, unsure of what to do, the door behind her went back into its almost-closed position.

"Please, take a seat, Miss Sakubara," Professor Flitwick insisted cheerfully, "take a seat!"

Sneaking surreptitious glances around Professor Flitwick's office, she shuffled to the chair in front of his desk. She dropped into it, while across from her, the professor was putting away some sheets that were lying around on his desk. She leaned forwards to try and see what was on those sheets, but Flitwick tucked them away too quickly. He took a folder out of one of the drawers and placed it in front of him. Instead of opening it up right away like she expected, he regarded her and hummed out of contentment.

"So!" he chirped. "Here you are, Miss Sakubara."

"Yes..." she sighed, nodding thoughtfully. "Here I am..."

"I remember the day you were sorted into Ravenclaw," he mused, eyes twinkling with happiness. "You were so nervous..."

Aki only smiled and laughed over anxiously at Flitwick's comment. Professor Flitwick eyed her approvingly, not saying a word. It was very odd to have someone staring right at you with nothing to say. Aki looked down to her lap, and wrung a small piece of her skirt.

"Well!" the professor said suddenly. "Let's get down to business. Let me just have a glance over your grades... "

Professor Flitwick cracked open the folder he had taken out. He examined it closely, his finger running along a page that was nestled in the folder.

"Yes... not so keen in Charms, but you are splendid in Ancient Runes! Potions is quite alright as well. Muggle Studies is also exceptional..."

He continued to inspect it, being very placid as he did. Aki took advantage of the quiet time, as it seemed to relax her nerves a bit, and surveyed Flitwick's office. The dark corner of the room was on her right, but she caught sight of a portrait on the wall. It looked like a portrait of Flitwick, in his more youthful days. He had a very broad smile and was swaying his wand around. Aki glanced back to the small professor; Flitwick still looked as sweet now as he did in his portrait.

"Hmm!" Flitwick hummed, closing up the folder and clasping his hands on to the table. "So what sort of career would you like to pursue after you graduate, Miss Sakubara? Do you have an idea?"

Aki dug out one of her pre-rehearsed answers from last night.

"Well, I was thinking that I'd like to follow the same career as my father."

"Oh? What does your father do?"

"He works at this equipment shop for wizards near our home," Aki explained confidently, however, the professor didn't seem all that impressed. "He makes these charts to show how business is going, and records what the customers buy and whatnot."

"Charts, you say?"

"Yes. It looks very rewarding and... err... interesting."

Aki hoped that her eyes hadn't rolled when she said 'interesting,' because that's certainly what it felt like. Her father's job was barely a hoot, but it seemed like one that she could actually do, or imagine herself doing.

"But... you haven't taken Arithmancy, Miss Sakubara," the professor pointed out, scanning the folder's sheets to be sure.

Aki repressed a grimace, feeling shot down.

"Oh... w-well... I've seen my father do it several times," she stumbled. "I'm getting to know the basics..."

"But Arithmancy would be needed to do this sort of job, I presume?"

It had all gone downhill so quickly, Aki observed, wriggling in her seat.

"Err... maybe."

"I certainly don't want to throw out any desire you have to do that job," Professor Flitwick recovered swiftly. "It'll just be hard for you with no training in Arithmancy."

Aki tugged at the tie around her neck. Things were getting bloody tense for her liking.

"Oh... err, right...I don't know... maybe not, then..."

Aki didn't know what else to say, and neither did Flitwick for a second. He sat waiting diligently for her to voice some other suggestions for future careers, while she avoided his eyes completely and fumbled with the skin on her knee. Flitwick concluded that he was going to have to be the one to break the standoff.

"Any other plans that you had in mind?"

"Ah... could'ye give me some ideas?" Aki asked.

"Well... hmm... let's see..."

Flitwick took another look into the folder. He leafed through the scanty transcript sheets with her grades on them. He finally held up a single sheet and stared at it.

"Have you thought about brewing potions for a living? Perhaps medical ones? That's definitely an interesting career..."

She had never thought about making potions as a possibility before.

"Uh..."

"...Always up and about..." Flitwick continued, "concocting new potions everyday..."

She wrinkled her nose. It was a nice career that paid well, but brewing potions for a living was too complex. Aki would've preferred something where the consequences of a simple mix up wouldn't result in someone else's death.

"I-I'm not sure if that's my kind of thing, professor..."

"Okay, that's fine, Miss Sakubara," he said calmly, shuffling papers around. "How about deciphering runes? You do seem to have a strong aptitude for it."
Aki supposed that translating runes would've been okay. She had thought about going for a career in that, but only because she figured that she would've been good at it since Ancient Runes was one of her best classes. She had to admit, the process of decoding runes was kind of tedious. Doing that for the rest of her life gave her a slight feeling of dread. She shook it off; at least it gave her some security for the future.

Right?

This would've been loads easier if she only knew what she wanted to do!

"You'll come across the most fascinating runes, Miss Sakubara!" Professor Flitwick said, savouring the thought by closing his eyes. "I think you could definitely fare well in that field..."

"Oh... really?" Aki said, trying to sound interested.

"Of course!" he blurted. "You do enjoy the work in Ancient Runes class, correct?"

"Ah... it's okay..."

"Then let me ask you; is this a career that you would consider, and appreciate, doing?"

Aki deferred in giving an answer. Those two seconds that she was speechless felt like an hour. She got this pins-and-needles feeling on her back, very conscious that she was put on the spot. Both answers that she could give, either yes or no, would lead her down two very different paths. On the one hand, she could tell the truth and exhaustingly brainstorm more career options with Flitwick, but the other part could simply answer 'yes' and get this consultation over with. She peeked at the professor, who was beaming with avid anticipation that sent a shock of guilt to shoot down her spine. Aki felt bad about wasting more of Professor Flitwick's time.

"Erm... heh... sure."

Flitwick bounced in his seat and clapped his hands in excitement.

"Excellent!" he exclaimed joyously. "We have found you a career, Miss Sakubara!"

She forced an expression that matched the thrill of Professor Flitwick's. She wasn't wasting any more of the professor's time, but Aki found that she still felt guilty. Guilty for not seeking Flitwick's full assistance on the one thing that she needed the most help on.

Well, it was too late now to take it back.

"Now, you will need four NEWT's to enter into this sort of career; Ancient Runes, History of Magic, and Charms. Muggle Studies would also be good, since you may come across a Muggle rune every now and then."

She nodded along, but the words had stopped penetrating her brain. Now she really felt terrible for being such a stubborn bugger and not sticking around just a little while longer to come up with an idea for the future.

"Now, I believe the professor for Ancient Runes class requires a grade above 'E' for admittance in to her NEWT level class, likewise, Professor Binns demands a grade above 'E' to proceed into his NEWT class," Flitwick informed. "Muggle Studies only requires an 'A,' and I'm sure that you will be able to achieve that, surely..."

"Mm-hmm, mm-hmm," Aki grunted negligently.

"The only thing that worries me," he said, suddenly turning ominous, "is the Charms OWL..."

Aki twitched when she heard the words. There was that mention of her atrocious Charms skills again. She really hated being reminded of it, as it would consume her and make her feel stupid for days.

"Wh-what?"

"Like I said before, Miss Sakubara, there is a chance you may not pass your Charms OWL exam."

That was the worse 'reminder' out of all of them. She felt her heart skip a beat.

"Please, do not let this happen," Flitwick said. "I don't want to have to fail you."

Aki breathed out deeply and gripped the chair's armrests. She couldn't even look at Flitwick anymore.

"Now, I ask for a grade above an 'A' to get into NEWT level Charms--"

"Great chance I have, then..." Aki said very gloomily, crossing her arms across her chest.

"You needn't be so cynical, Miss Sakubara. Charms can easily be mastered!"

Then why, Aki wondered, was it so hard for her to get it right?

"Tell me, why is it that you do poorly in Charms?" Professor Flitwick questioned.

She unfolded her arms and pounded the armrests, sighing. Aki massaged her forehead for a minute while she collected her thoughts.

"It's... well look, we've done... oh I don't know, so many spells now that I've lost count," she explained, tone getting more and more vehement. "At this point, it's just a little hard to memorize them all!"

Professor Flitwick held up a single hand.

"Do not memorize. Memorization is the one path to poor performance in Charms."

Damn. Memorization had been her only method of learning Charms.

"T-then what do I do?" she asked shakily, beyond confused.

"Understand, Miss Sakubara, not memorize," he said calmly. "Most of the incantations we have learned are derived from a long standing base of Latin, just like the words you and I use to converse now. You'll see; once you get a basic handle of Latin, the spell will come naturally. In time, it'll be common sense!"

"Latin, eh?" she said, her brow quirked.

"Yes. With a little practice, I'm sure you could do as well in Charms as your good friend, Miss Bryden."

Aki nodded, liking the thought of being as brilliant in Charms as Victoria. It sure would've been cool to remember and be able to use a spell outside of Charms class for once.

"Keep trying, Miss Sakubara," Professor Flitwick said warmly. "You haven't failed Charms just yet."

She raised her glimpse to the professor, but didn't feel any of that self-reproach that she would've felt earlier. She didn't expect to either; not with the sunny smile Professor Flitwick was giving her, those eyes of his sparkling again. Professor Flitwick was so good and patient. Always knew just the right thing to say and how to make any Ravenclaw thank Merlin that they were sorted into his house. Aki grinned back at the professor like mad, elated at the professor's compassion. Flitwick was glad to see her reaction, as he began to giggle slightly. He suddenly made a little noise of surprise and peered past her head.

"Ah! It looks like my next student is ready."

Aki turned towards the door, and through the frosted glass pane, she could see a big mass of Daphne's long brown hair.

"Hello?" Daphne called from the other side of the door. "Professor Flitwick?"

"Yes, yes!" Professor Flitwick answered back. "I'll be with you in a minute, Miss Stilesmore!"

Aki jumped up from her chair and straightened her robes, startled that her time was up so soon.

"Oh... I-I suppose I'm done here, then..."

"Unless you have any last minute questions?" Flitwick prompted.

"Ah... no."

"If that is so. I do hope my advice helped you a bit, Miss Sakubara."

"It has, Professor," she said, impulsively extending her hand for a handshake. "Thank you."

Flitwick reached across his desk to take the handshake. Aki had to lean in further than usual to meet his hand.

"Whatever career you do choose," Flitwick began, his wrinkly hands holding Aki's. "I'm sure you'll show exemplary expertise!"

Aki had to look away as her cheeks were blushing and a very shy smile could not be contained. She took back her hand and made a quick glance to the professor to say her farewell.

"Goodbye, Professor Flitwick."

"Good day, Miss Sakubara!"

She treaded across the fine beige floor to the half-open door and made her quiet exit. She walked into the bright corridor and smiled. As she gazed out of the window to the early summer sunshine, somehow Aki couldn't help but feel that, yes, she was going to be just fine.