Pretense

CHAPTER 3: Whispers From The Past

The cursor blinked off and on, off and on, as though it were desperately signalling for help, but to no avail. The page remained empty.

**Don't worry baby**

Ginny let out a sigh. She had been 'working' on her story for the past four months now and she had yet to write a word. It was as if her mind had just shut down and gone to sleep. She knew, of course, that inspiration would come eventually but she needed to start it now.

**Everything will turn out alright**

Harry was right. She was too impatient. He was right about most things, Ginny reluctantly admitted to herself. He was right about writing a book not being as easy as she'd thought, let alone getting it published. He was right to warn her that she would have a multitude of bills and living expenses with no way to pay them. Ginny had just figured that she would manage until she'd written her novel, which she had thought would take her two months maximum. He was right to point out to her that by leaving her well- paid job at 'Gardner, Gardner and Shuttlecock, Ltd' and her cushy annual bonus would not be easy and would not please her parents.

God, she was a fool, Ginny groaned inwardly in annoyance and frustration at herself. She was a naïve, stupid, fool. She should have listened to Harry. Not that he'd ever get to know. Ginny would rather scratch her own eyes out then witness the smug 'I'm cleverer than you so nah!' look that she knew so well, take hold of Harry's handsome features.

"Concentrate..." Ginny mumbled, trying to focus. She leaned back and closed her eyes, attempting to envision her story playing out...

**Don't worry baby...ooh, ooh**

Ginny's eyes snapped open and darted to the radio. She knew where she'd heard that song before. She had tried her hardest to erase it, all them years ago, but the memory was a part of her, it would be with her, however she might fight it. The song invaded her treacherous thoughts and took her to a place she'd vowed to banish from her thoughts forever.

**Well, it's been building up inside of me

For, oh, I don't know how long...**

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The Great Hall, Hogwarts

10 Years ago...

"Come on, Harry, dance!"

"You're so miserable."

"What is the matter with you?"

"Couldn't you even try to come up with a good excuse?"

"You're not even attempting to look vaguely apologetic now, are you?"

Harry refused to dance. Everyone had tried to get him to sacrifice his reservation and boogie but he had told everyone the same thing- 'I never voluntarily make a fool out of myself'.

Even to his own ears Harry sounded like a miserable spoilsport. But there was no escape from the fact that he couldn't dance if his life depended on it and he absolutely refused to give Malfoy that ammunition.

Harry saw little point in staying longer, only to bat away prospective dance partners and watch Hermione and Ron argue. Anyway, he was exhausted from the gruelling Quidditch practice that had taken place at five that morning. The new Captain, Ron, had decided that the earlier the better, to the consternation and surprise of every single person who had ever met him.

Harry said his goodnights and was on his way to the common room when he realised that, however early he had got up, he wasn't tired. He decided to take a stroll around the grounds before bed and slipped out past the heavy wooden door, undetected.

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All men are bastards. Ginny was convinced that there must be a genetic deficiency in the males of the species that tells them they must appear gentle, kind and considerate, but once trust is gained turn into a selfish, arrogant, two- timing pig.

Maybe it was just the guys she picked. Guys like Flynn Monroe. Guys like Danny Curtis. Guys who thought a girl was just for Christmas, not for life. Guys who screwed around with her head until she didn't know where she was or how she'd got there.

Well... no more. No more of this crap was she going to take lying down.

Ginny ran through the dark forest as fast as her legs would carry her, her long crimson locks billowing in the wind. She felt as though she had finally been set free. Free from her life. Free from the one person she truly despised- the person she had become.

She would cease the whimpering she had been so fond of and finally get a backbone.

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Harry was wandering along, minding his own business, admiring how the moonlight shimmed across the surface of the lake, hiding the depths below, when he was suddenly interrupted, most rudely, by something running into him in a head long collision.

Before he knew it, he was on his backside in a most undignified position. He glanced up to identify his assaulter but had to do a double take to fully comprehend the sight he was seeing. Was it an angel? By the glare he was receiving, he thought not.

From his position on the ground all he could see were two golden eyes, too beautiful and full of fire to be real, twinkling in the velvet night that seemed to envelope them. A red haze surrounded her in a halo of fire which only succeeded in convincing Harry that she must be a dream or a vision. Or that the bowl of punch he'd finished off had been spiked.

"What are you doing here?"

Harry shook himself again at the familiar voice that also seemed totally new to him. He knew the voice but the anger and barely concealed rage, that said she really wanted to hit something right now, told him that this couldn't possibly be the same person. Could it?

"Are you going to get up or do you want me to drag you back to the castle, Potter?" Ginny leaned down and offered him her hand, all the while her voice softening at the sheer shock on Harry's frozen features.

When he was standing again he felt relief flood through his veins. It was only Ginny. There was only one explanation for what he'd seen- he must have hit his head harder than he'd originally thought. This was the same old Ginny Weasley, but still there was something strangely different about her...

"What are you staring at?" Her voice was still angry but now held confusion and frustration at Harry's silence.

Harry went red. He hadn't meant to stare. Actually, he had meant to stare he just hadn't meant for her to notice. She usually found her shoelaces much more interesting. "Sorry. Nothing."

She frowned at him for a moment then started off towards the castle.

Unable to stop himself, Harry rushed after her and blurted out "Why are you so angry?" He always tried to keep himself to himself but he couldn't help being curious about what had enraged the usually calm and collected girl, now so furious she looked like her head was on fire.

"I'm not." Her sharp answer convinced Harry more than ever that he wasn't just completely dense and something was indeed very wrong, wrong enough to provoke an almost complete personality transplant.

    "Ha! You could've fooled me. I have the bump to prove it!" He fell into step beside her as she began the walk up to the castle in what Harry would have called a stomp if it had been anyone else.

    "Hey! I'm curious. If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. Just fine." He lasted about five seconds before... "Okay! Okay! I can't take it. I have to know." Harry whirled to a stop and seized her arms so she couldn't escape and gave her the most heartfelt and serious look he could muster at one in the morning. "I'm sorry, Ginny but I'm only talking about letting me in on this one little secret. Now it's not exactly James Bond if-I-tell-you-I'm-gonna-have-to-kill-you stuff is it? Or is it? " He leaned in closer, conspiratorially, with a reprimanding expression. "Did you kill someone?"

Ginny looked him in the eye for the first time as though he had just grown two heads. Which was probably more likely than Harry Potter ever actually saying anything to her. That is, anything other than 'pass the potatoes'. "No, but I'm starting to wish I had."

She broke out of his grip and trudged away with a sigh, giving him the distinct impression that her melancholy ran deep and it would take a hellova lot more than his Most Charming SmileTM to make her disclose the cause of it.

"Hey, Ginny, I-"

"Shut it." She snapped as he caught her up.

"I just-"

"Shut it or I will shut it for you." Ginny spoke through clenched teeth and he was in no doubt that she could and would cause him serious injury if he continued his line of questioning.

"I was just going to ask why you weren't at the Ball." He stepped out of harms way before she could take a swing at him, enabling him to finish his sentence. "That's all, I swear."

Her expression softened a little and she gave him a sheepish grin. "Oh. Sorry. I didn't go because... because...Well, I was going to go but I- I..." She searched for the right words. "...I got distracted!"

"I'm surprised a girl would let herself get distracted when Hogwarts throws an all-out gig like this one. This is a once-in-a -school-year opportunity."

"Yeah, well... I did. I don't care about the stupid Ball. All it is is a bunch of stupid people I don't even like, dancing to stupid music and making a fool out of themselves." Ginny began gesticulating wildly and spoke rapidly, but he could tell by the tears in her youthful voice said that she did care. She cared a lot.

The sweet harmony of a song swept through the chilly night and made Harry smile to himself. It was the perfect moment. This had to cheer her up- there wasn't a single person alive who could see Harry dance and keep a straight face.

"I know what you mean about the whole 'making a fool out of yourself' thing. I invented the term. But you know what? Everyone should have one dance, stupid or not. What about it?"

Ginny looked bewildered. "What? Here? Now? With you?"

**Well it's been building up inside of me

for oh I don't know how long,**

    Harry laughed at the horror adorning her face and took her hand. "Don't look so repulsed! It'll be okay." Still, she looked disconcerted. "Hey! This really is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! How can you resist seeing me make a complete idiot out of myself?" He grinned reassuringly at her until she finally gave in, if somewhat reluctantly.

**I don't know why but I keep thinking

something's bound to go wrong.**

    He pulled her into his arms and began to sway in time to the music. At first he had to concentrate on the rhythm and not treading on her toes, but after a while he found that it had become much easier with her there to guide him. He glanced down to give her a grateful smile of thanks and found her staring at him with those liquid mercury eyes that held a strange look of uncertainty in their depths. He gave her an encouraging smile.

**But she looks in my eyes

And makes me realise**

    He leant down to let her know what an excellent dancer she was when, before he knew it, she had pressed her lips against his. He froze, dumbfounded. This was Ginny! Ginny was kissing him! He was kissing his best friend's little sister! But when he felt her lips move beneath his he lost all logic, gathered her closer and tried to burn into his mind her taste of strawberries, peaches and all good things that drove him wild with craving.

**When she says 'don't worry baby'*

    Suddenly, she was gone, taking all her sweetness with her, leaving him to wonder how come he wasn't kissing her anymore and why he felt such a profound sense of loss.

    "Look... This never should have happened...I'm sorry I took advantage of you..."

    Harry looked down at her averted face, cheeks flushed and lips swollen from his kissing her and attempted to figure out what the hell was going on. He found this immensely difficult since he was still completely bewildered by her. This was Ginny Weasley? How could it be? How could she kiss like that? It didn't make any sense.

Her take advantage of him?

**Don't worry baby**

How could this girl, who he had just discovered had such a hold over him, be Ginny Weasley? Ginny was small and nervous and stuttered a lot. She tended to go for all the wrong boys, who treated her like a doormat, while she passively took it. This young woman was strong, passionate and didn't stutter once. In fact, he'd bet with one look she could make a man stammer and fall to his knees, and he couldn't imagine anyone using her as a doormat and living to tell the tale.

Thinking about it now, he decided she was very capable of taking advantage of him. In fact, he'd welcome it.

"I hope we can still be friends?" This time she looked him in the eye to show him she wasn't ashamed and that she meant it.

**Don't worry baby**

Ah, he thought, the immortal last words of any relationship. Except this wasn't a relationship. Despite his attempts to make light of the situation her words had washed over him like a tidal wave and frozen his heart and his smile in place.

**Everything will turn out alright**

She turned to leave him and smiled over her shoulder. "Just don't tell Ron!"

He smile weakly as the girl who he knew would visit him in his dreams left him alone to his new found melancholy, taking his heart with her.

**Don't worry baby, ooh,ooh**

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