Stupid Boys

STUPID BOYS

CHAPTER 4: The Evil That Men Do

Thursday 16th November

Maim. Kill. Destroy. Maim. Kill. Destroy. Am eclectic mix of emotions right now: angry, angry, angry. No real thoughts at moment, simply three words. Three words that sum up my mind track: Potter. Must. Die.

Breathe...must stop destroying furniture. Must leave poor desk alone to heal. Must say sorry to beaten up chair.

There...feel better now. Less angry. Well, not less angry, less violent. A little bit less. Still want to throttle him.

So, can you guess what Stupid Boys #1 and #2 did? Yes, I knew it, you knew it, it was so obvious even bloody Peter knew it! Still, I didn't believe it. Thought was just being dramatic. But noooooo!! I was right! As always.

I hate Potter so much. Makes my blood boil. Fists clench. Teeth grind. Heart pound, dammit! Can't explain that bit. Tried numerous times to exorcise it. Didn't work. You know the thing- when legs turn to jelly and head is swimming? I hate that too.

Urghh! Bloody Potter! Why kiss me? Why complicate it? Why mess with my head? Why make the feelings I tried to cram down the toilet regurgitate?

That was what it was like! An overflowing loo. Unpleasant and vile. But it wasn't. It was lovely and soft and sweet and intensely embarrassing that I have actually just written that. I take it back- it was v. horrid! Incredibly heinous. Awful. Hideous. Repulsive. Romanti- dammit!

What's happening to me? Food poisoning? An evil love potion? Am I trapped in Hell and being tortured by the most excruciating thing that ever could happen actually happening? I can only dream.

Lily

P.S. I got him, though. HA! I got him good.

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Gossip was rife. Sirius knew it and he loved it. It fit perfectly well into his plan. People would talk, Lily and James would hear rumours and, of course, become outraged. Perfect! The entertainment value of them both trying to threaten the whole school into silence was, he was sure, going to be unsurpassable.

Meanwhile, as the rumours and scandal spread like the plague, he would work on James. He knew that he should also talk to Lily, but, right at that moment, he felt she wouldn't be especially...receptive to what he had to say. James, however pissed off he was about Sirius' interfering, was a boy. He was stupid. Sirius knew James and knew that he would listen to him, even if his last advice had got him a black eye.

It was in the Library one rainy afternoon when James succumbed to Sirius' nagging. He had been unusually defiant against his friend's suggestions for almost a week, which was virtually unheard of. Sirius could only admire James for his resolution even though he had never been in any doubt that eventually he would get to him. He always did.

"Padfoot, leave me alone. I don't want any more 'advice' or so-called 'help' from you," James said in sheer frustration. He was determined to not let Sirius meddle anymore but it was bloody difficult! He pestered him 24 hours a day, every day and James had even resorted to hiding in the Library, a place where Sirius had never ventured before in his entire life and never would. But no, Sirius had even gone so far as to sacrifice his reputation and actually enter the scary room lined with (shudder) books.

"Mate, I don't know why you're so suspicious of me! I've done nothing but wisely advise you." Sirius held up his hands in an attempt at calming James, who had just begun to protest rather loudly, and was gathering angry 'sush!'s from Madam Pince. "Ok, ok, maybe I was a little bit to blame for what happened but I must say, in the long run, you'll thank me."

James had turned extremely quickly from mildly annoyed to intensely outraged in just a few seconds, which was reflected in the shade of red he'd turned. Right now, he was poison apple ruby rapidly amplifying into a scarlet fever crimson. Sirius was a little nervous. "A little bit to blame? A little bit! You were a LOT to blame, you bloody great inbred! It was ALL YOUR FAULT!!"

"I wouldn't go as far as that-" James' eyes bulged and Sirius gulped. He hadn't said much but maybe he had annoyed his friend a little too much for one day.

"YOU were the one who told me I was in love with her! YOU were the one who told me to ask her out! And YOU were the one who did a bloody victory dance when I got punched!" James banged stood and banged his fists on the table in anger. Why couldn't Sirius just leave things alone? Why couldn't he not be a demented git all the time?

Sirius was getting worried. Not about Prongs all that much, but about the homicidal glares they were receiving from Madam Pince. How could he steer James out of the Library without provoking him further and still avoid the wrath of the Pincer? "OK, Prongs, I admit that I was wrong. I'm truly sorry from the depths of my terrible, terrible soul. Will you please, great master of all that is worthy, forgive me, your humble servant?" he grovelled melodramatically, sinking to the floor in penance.

'Bingo!' Sirius thought when James blatantly failed at holding in laughter.

"God, Padfoot, I didn't know you were that sorry. Maybe I should have you do my Potions homework as punishment," he considered as Sirius got to his feet and began to push him towards the door.

"Yeah, right, I can do that if you want an essay consisting of 'Potions are magic soups that usually don't involve vegetables of any kind, the end.'"

James snorted. "Didn't you get detention for that?"

As they stepped into the cold and lonely corridor, away from the horrors of the Librarian and her horrible, musty, evil books, Sirius grinned and replied, "Yup. That was a special one. With that lovely I broke the 100 mark."

"You're slipping. Only 100?"

"Ah, but that was only on the second week of school." Sirius was relieved. They had finally relaxed back into their easy banter instead of the explosive arguments every ten seconds. Maybe, just maybe, James would listen to him now...

"Before you say anything- no. No, no and another bit fat NO!" James held up a hand to silence him and grinned. He knew him too well. They'd stopped arguing so Sirius would, naturally, try to pester him with rubbish 'guidance' again. It was so predictable! "I will not listen to you. Look where it got me last time!" Ad Sirius opened his mouth to deny it again James interrupted him once more. "Don't even think about saying you weren't to blame. I will strangle you."

"Sorry... but if you just let me say what I have to say then you can take it all in and take my advice or not- it's your choice. After all, you do want to get Evans, don't you?" James was quiet as they rounded the corner and entered the Great Hall for dinner. Sirius knew from the silence that he had got him.

James sighed in resignation. Why had he ever though he could refuse to listen to Sirius? He always got through, damn him! "Go on then. What are your pearls of wisdom, oh wise one?"

Sirius grinned and took his seat opposite James. "Ah, well, now you come to mention it..."

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