Redemption

Chapter 15

Lucius stared at the closed door for several seconds before he realized that Potter and Weasley were glaring at him. He finally retreated to the drawing room. Her reaction was about what he had expected.

"Didn't go well, did it?" Remus asked.

"Not really." He took his usual seat by the fireplace and picked up a book.

"So you're just going to give up?"

"No," Lucius replied simply.

Remus pulled up a chair and leaned forward. "What's your plan?"

Lucius closed his book. "Plan? What makes you think I would have a plan? I merely trust that once she has calmed down, she will once again accept her feelings."

Remus leaned back in the chair and smirked. "You can't make me believe that. I saw what you went through to find the cure."

"Believe what you will." Lucius returned to his book. Yes, he had a plan, but he wasn't going to share it with anyone, and especially not Remus. Lucius had already learned the man was not a gifted liar. Besides, Remus was part of the plan. If Hermione suspected there was a plan that would make her even more difficult. No. He would be patient.

******************

Hermione didn't want to be a prisoner in her room, but she didn't want to face Lucius, either. The best thing she could do was to go back to school where she could concentrate on finding Hogwarts' secrets and forget about Lucius.

She couldn't believe she had gotten involved with him in the first place. He was far too old for her, and she had other things to concentrate on. She should have been focusing on finding a way to defeat Voldemort, not wondering when her next romantic liaison would be. She had acted like a foolish schoolgirl, and he had taken advantage of that.

Still feeling exhausted for her recent ordeal, she decided to lie down for nap. Hopefully, he would realize she was not interested and would go sulk in his room. Once she was feeling better, she would convince Mrs. Weasley to let her go back to school.

As she crawled into bed, her hand brushed against something under her pillow. She pulled out a piece of parchment and immediately recognized Lucius' handwriting. Deciding she did not want anything to do with him, she crumpled the letter and threw it across the room.

You want to read that. She had hoped the voice in her head was gone. It had not spoken to her for a long time. 'No, I don't. I don't want anything to do with him.' Why? 'You know why. He's a lying bastard.' Are you sure? 'Go away. I don't have to justify my life to you.'

That seemed to work and she settled into bed. As she was drifting off to sleep, the voice said, He saved your life because he loves you. She tried to ignore the voice and get some rest.

After tossing and turning for at least half an hour, she got up and retrieved the letter. As she held it, she noticed her hands were shaking.

Open it. 'It's going to be full of lies.' I know you saw the look of hurt on his face when you rejected him. 'Good.' He loves you. Open it, the voice prodded gently.

She carefully opened the letter, bracing herself for the lies she would see.

Dearest Hermione,

First, I want you to know how much I love you. I have called you my guiding star, and I do mean that.

Now, I know that what you heard yesterday was terribly difficult to hear. Remember, I am not the same man who made those decisions. That was my old self. I know that you do not trust Severus, and me asking you to do so is very difficult. Without his help, I would not have found the cure. I know that may not mean much to you, but it was all I needed to know I could trust him.

I would greatly appreciate you giving me a chance to finish my explanation. Paper just cannot do it justice.

Please, don't shut me out. I want you in my life, and I want us to be a family. I think that our child will need both of us.

Eternally yours,

Lucius

She held the letter to her chest and started crying. How could she have treated him so coldly? And their child. He had seen their child. After wiping the tears from her cheeks, she hurried across the hall, hoping he was still in the drawing room. She would hear his explanation. All she saw was Remus lying on the couch reading a book. "Where is he?"

He sat up and closed his book. "Perhaps in his room. Or hopefully, down in the kitchen getting something to eat. He hasn't been eating much since you took ill."

"Is he all right?" She sat next to him.

"He's quite upset. He worked quite hard to find a cure for you."

"Really?" she asked incredulously.

He placed his hand on her knee. "Hermione, I could barely get him to eat or sleep. He was desperate to help you. You should go talk to him."

She was still emotionally confused. She wasn't sure if she wanted to love Lucius or hate him. "But..."

He silenced her protest. "Hear his side of the story. I think you might feel better once you do."

Hermione left the drawing room still confused. Part of her wanted to be with him again, but another part felt betrayed. She noticed the house was very quiet. Turning back to face Remus, she asked, "Where is everyone?"

He replied evasively, "Something came up and they had to go out."

She wanted to ask for more details, but figured she was being sheltered. "Why are you here?"

"I'm on watch in case anyone comes by."

"You're here to watch me and make sure I don't go anywhere, aren't you?"

"That's not my primary reason for being here, but yes. We're all very concerned about you."

She headed down to the kitchen to see if Lucius was there and was disappointed to find it deserted. Since she was in the kitchen, she decided to make up a quick tray of food. After all, Remus said Lucius hadn't eaten much lately.

*******************

Lucius was examining the book the Severus had given him. He had forgotten about the book until he was emptying his pockets to take his robes down to laundry. Many of the pages were empty. That generally meant that it would take Dark Magic to read them. Encrypted spells, such as those that were surely in the book, were generally incredibly dangerous. He was looking through the book for clues to the key that would unlock the other pages. Of course, he would need his wand to unlock those pages, assuming he could do it. In the past, he would have had no difficulty casting Dark Magic, but now... He was not the same man. He might not be able to find the hatred and the malice needed to cast the Darkest Magic.

He looked up when he heard a tentative knock on his door. The door cracked.

"Lucius? Are you in there?" asked Hermione.

He put down his book and rose to his feet. "Hermione?" He had not expected her so soon. He had thought it would take much longer for her to come to him.

She pushed the door the rest of the way open and moved toward the desk. "I thought you might..." Realizing she couldn't get past him to the desk, she said nervously, "Lunch?"

He smiled warmly at her and took the tray from her. "Thank you. This is very thoughtful." Noticing that she hadn't moved and was fidgeting her fingers nervously, he asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Better. I, er, read your letter," she replied nervously.

He led her to the bed and asked softly, "Are you willing to listen?"

She nodded and fought back the tears. "I am."

Pulling out his handkerchief, he wiped away her tears. "I know it will be difficult to hear. You know I'm not that same person anymore, right?"

"I do." She tentatively reached out and took hold of his hand.

He knew this would not be easy. "I've already told you that I started the series of events that led to Dumbledore's death. And the reason none of you trust Severus. I spoke with him, and I believe that he wants to see the Dark Lord fall. I say this because of the help he gave me in finding you and a cure."

"What was the curse?"

"Hermione, please," he pleaded and brushed her cheek. At some point, he would have to tell her all about the curse, she was too curious to forget about it, but he didn't want to do it now. Not when she was so emotionally fragile.

"Lucius, what did he do to me, to our child? I need to know."

He found he couldn't keep the pain from his expression. "It was a spell that melds the evil and malice from the spell caster to the soul of a child." He saw the look of horror cross her face, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to his chest, wishing he could protect her. "That child is imbued with other Dark Magic that will make it grow faster, as you saw. Had I not intervened when I did, you would have died when..." He found he could not continue.

"When what?"

He squeezed her tightly, relieved that she had not succumbed to that fate. "Please don't make me tell you. I have had nightmares about it."

"And our baby? You saw our baby."

He spoke at barely more than a whisper. "There is a very good chance that the evil was not and cannot be purged."

"What are you saying?" she asked nervously.

"I saw our baby. The Healers told me they could still feel...something unnatural. She..."

Hermione interrupted, "She? It's a girl? You told me you didn't know!"

"To protect you, darling. She's growing too fast. While the spell severed the connection the child had to you, and probably to the Dark Lord..."

"What connection to Voldemort?" She was nearly panicking at that thought.

He realized this explanation was not going at all as he had envisioned. All because he had let slip their child was a girl. He took a deep breath. "Please, let me finish the explanation. I know that you have many questions right now, and I hope that I will answer them. This curse forges a connection from the caster to the victim. The victim becomes a servant, actually, slave is a better word, of the caster. I fear that what I did may have severed that connection."

"Why is that something to fear?" It should be a good thing that their child was not a slave.

"Without that connection, there is no loyalty to anyone. The evil will grow with the child, but it will be unbridled evil." This thought terrified him, though he was careful not to let her know. If she knew how he felt, she would likely become completely irrational.

"You're saying our daughter will be evil?" she asked quietly, hardly able to believe what she was hearing.

He held her tightly and kissed the top of her head. "There is a very good chance." He worked hard to maintain his composure. "If that is the case we..."

"No! Don't say it."

"I'm sorry, darling, but it may have to happen."

"Surely, you can find a cure. You found a cure for me," she said hopefully.

"I don't know. I have been back through the book that had your cure, and there is nothing in there about the child, and if it might be possible to restore the child's soul. The infusion of evil, hatred, and all the negative emotions happened so early that it may not be possible."

"What about that book Snape gave you? You said he gave you the information to cure me."

He hated seeing her get her hopes up. "I have looked at that book and it is encrypted. Many of the pages are blank. I am trying to determine how to reveal the blank pages. There are generally clues to revealing them in what can be read in the book. So far, I don't have any ideas."

"Maybe I can help?"

"I would appreciate any assistance you can offer." He gave her a reassuring squeeze, though he wasn't sure she had the knowledge about Dark Magic to be of assistance.

"I want to see her."

"Hermione..."

She was insistent. "Don't tell me not to get attached. I want to see her. I can remember it, her, talking to me. I think I have a right to see my child. Come on, let's go."

"I can't leave the house. If I am seen..." This was a bad idea for many reasons.

"Then I'll Disillusion you. I assume that's what they were using."

"They'll never let you go." He really didn't want her to see their child. It would be better for her.

"Remus is the only one here. I can convince him to let us go." She stood and pulled on his hand. "You're not afraid are you?"

He was because he knew what the Dark Lord would do to him. It was best for her not to see their child, but he knew he didn't want to alienate her. Hopefully, Remus would stand firm and not let them go.

******************

Hermione stopped at her room to get her cloak. By the time she was leaving her room, Remus was standing on the landing.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"We are going to see our child," she stated imperiously.

"Hermione, you need to stay here. And it definitely isn't safe for Lucius to be outside the house."

"He's left before. I'll Disillusion him so that no one will know he's there."

Remus moved to block the steps. "I can't let you leave."

"Remus, please. I haven't seen my daughter. I know something is wrong with her, and I want to see her, no matter what her condition." She was trying to maintain control, but was on the verge of a breakdown.

Remus looked to Lucius, who gave an apologetic shrug. "This is potentially a very dangerous situation. The best Healers are working with her. It really is best that you don't see her."

She bit her lip, trying not to cry. They all said they were protecting her, but they were really making it worse. She had to see for herself that her child was beyond hope. "Please, Remus. Lucius knows more about Dark Magic than any of us. If we can examine her, perhaps we can find a way to help her." She could feel the tears running down her cheeks and didn't care.

Lucius wrapped his arm around her waist. "Remus, it is very important to her. I know that it may not be the most logical thing to do, but it is necessary. We will not be gone long."

After several seconds, Remus stepped aside. "Be careful."

*******************

Hermione became more and more agitated the closer they got to the ward. She heard Lucius whisper softly, "Be strong."

When they turned the corner, Lucius grabbed her arm. "Something isn't right."

She drew her wand because she could feel it, too. "What do you think?"

"Something feels wrong. There are no guards."

"Guards? What would they need guards for?" She felt a knot forming in her stomach, and she pulled away from Lucius and ran down the hall for the door.

Lucius ran after her, but realized there was little he could do to protect her from danger without a wand.

She opened the door and saw two Healers lying in heaps on the floor, but her eyes were drawn to the empty crib. "She's gone. Where could she have gone?" When she felt Lucius' hand on her shoulder, she turned around and embraced him, not caring that he was still invisible. "Snape took her. He knew she was here."

"Not likely. The Dark Lord would have also known she was here and would have known when the connection was severed. He would not have needed Severus to tell him she was here."

"But why would he want her? You said he had no control over her." She was desperately trying to understand everything.

"While she may not be under his control, she is still imbued with evil. If he offers her an avenue to channel that evil, she will take it."

She heard one of the Healers moaning and rushed over to her side. "What happened?"

"Death Eaters. Five or six of them. The baby?" the Healer asked weakly.

"Gone. They took her. Hold on, I'll go get help." She started to rush out of the room when Lucius stopped her.

He whispered, "I have to go. I can't be seen here. Aurors and others will come."

She knew he was right, but really didn't want him to leave. "All right. Let Remus know." She still wasn't entirely convinced that Snape didn't have anything to do with this, and she was once again beginning to have small doubts about Lucius, but she knew he would probably end up in Azkaban if he remained. If he returned straight to Grimmauld Place, it would allay those doubts.

*******************

Lucius quickly moved out of the hospital. It was possible the Aurors had already been alerted, and he did not want them to discover him. As he walked away from the hospital, looking for a quiet place to Disapparate, he felt someone grab his arm.

"We need to talk."

His mind was racing. No one should have been able to see him, and he realized that he could not see whoever had taken hold of his arm. The next thing he knew, he was being transported elsewhere.