Redemption

Chapter 14

Lucius found himself Apparated to a non-descript room. He assumed it was some sort of receiving area, and he would soon find himself in the processing area.

"Move along," Kingsley said and prodded Lucius in the back.

Lucius was in a daze, feeling the effects of both the alcohol and the despondency of not being allowed to see Hermione. He couldn't believe everything had collapsed so completely. While Potter and Weasley had been against him, they were only two teenagers. For months he had been cultivating friendships or, at the very least, truces with the adults. Thinking back through his actions, he could think of nothing he had done that would prove he was anything other than trustworthy.

"We'll take over," Kingsley said.

Lucius looked up and found that he was not at Azkaban or even the Ministry; he was at St. Mungo's, and Kingsley and Tonks were relieving a pair of Aurors guarding a door. It's her room. It has to be her room. Once the other Aurors were gone, Tonks removed the manacles and opened the door for him.

She shrugged. "Sorry for the deception. It was the best way to do this."

Slowly, Lucius entered the room. It was dimly lit, and he could see Molly and Ginny sitting next to the bed. All three women looked up at him.

Hermione smiled weakly. "Lucius, you came."

He couldn't help but notice how weak she sounded. Instead of the vibrant young woman he was used to, she looked frail, was barely able to move, and spoke in a whisper. He smiled at her, relieved that she was alive. "Of course I came. I love you." He noticed Molly pulling Ginny away.

"I'm so sorry. I was careless. I didn't know..."

He stroked her hair. "Shh. You have nothing to apologize for. I should apologize to you."

"It was horrible. He touched me..." She broke down into tears.

He held her tightly to comfort her. "Don't think about it. It's not important right now. I countered the spell."

"What was the spell? No one will tell me."

"It was something horrible. Please don't concern yourself with it now. You need to concentrate on getting well."

"They won't tell me about the baby. Can you find out?"

"Of course. I just wanted to make sure you were okay first." He didn't think it was a good sign that no one had told her about the baby.

"I'm sore and tired, but I'll be fine."

He finally kissed her, thankful that she was well. "That is the best news I have had in a long time." He paused before leaving. "I'm not sure if you've seen Potter or Weasley, but they were less than pleased to learn about us."

"No, but I'm not surprised. They'll get over it."

He kissed her again. "I'll be back soon." He cautiously opened the door.

Remus saw Lucius and asked, "What do you need?"

"Can we talk somewhere?" Lucius asked.

Remus hurried him down the hall to an empty room. "I suppose you want to know about the baby?"

"I do. She says that no one has told her anything."

"There's not much to say. They don't know right now. As you can imagine, it was a very traumatic experience. Many Healers are working on it right now."

"Is it a boy or a girl?" she interrupted.

"Lucius, please. I don't want you to become attached. The Healers are not very optimistic. You know more about that spell than any of us, but even with what I've learned, I know it is not pleasant."

He placed his hand on the other man's shoulder. "Remus, please, I want to see my child. I don't care what the Healers think."

Remus looked into Lucius' eyes for several seconds before replying. "All right. Hold on." Once Lucius was concealed, he led the other man down the hall to a separate ward. He revealed Lucius and stood back.

Nervously, Lucius moved forward. He could see four Healers huddled around a crib. It seemed to take him an eternity to cross the room. He could tell that the Healers were all working hard and conversing quietly with each other. There was tangible electricity in the room from the magic they were using.

When he was in position to see into the crib, he noticed the baby was unnaturally still. "Is the baby alive?" he asked tentatively.

One of the Healers faced him. "For now, yes. You are the father?"

He found he could not take his eyes of his child. Instead of the infant he expected to see, he noticed the child was the size of a toddler. "Yes. What's wrong with the baby? The evil was expelled." He felt horrible that a young life had to start out feeling the effects of pure evil.

"We are doing everything we can for her. This is something we don't have any experience with, and we are trying to determine why she is growing so quickly. She was a large baby at birth and has grown significantly since then. We think we have finally slowed the growth. As for the evil you expelled, there is still a residual. We are trying to purge it, but..."

Her. It was a daughter. He fought for control as he replied, "I understand. Do you know how long it might take?" He knew that if they could not purge the evil, they would be forced to kill her.

"I'm sorry. We don't."

"Thank you," he replied and turned from the room. Remus led him back to Hermione's room, and he buried his emotions. If at all possible, he would protect her from the negative news.

When he entered the room, he was surprised that she was still alone. He had expected that Molly and Ginny would have returned.

"What did you learn?" she asked nervously.

"The Healers are looking after our baby, doing everything they can." Telling her the truth would only upset her, and he needed to make sure she was well. "The events of the last few days were quite traumatic. As the book was not clear about whether the cleansing would restore the child's soul, they are being understandably cautious. Now, how about you? The pregnancy itself was quite traumatic physically. How are you handling it?"

"I have you. I'll be fine." She smiled and reached out to touch him.

He could see through the lie and crawled into bed with her so he could wrap his arms around her. "Hermione, you went from learning you were pregnant to having a baby in about two weeks. That is not normal."

She shifted nervously, clearly not wanting to discuss it. "No, but I have to move on. Is it a boy or a girl?"

He sighed. She was strong, but he knew beneath that strength she was vulnerable. Right now, he wouldn't push her. "They didn't say. I think they want to protect us in case the baby does not survive."

"I hope the baby does survive. I want us to be a family."

He laughed softly. "I thought I was supposed to be the one to propose?"

"Are you proposing to me?" she asked playfully.

"I had intended to wait until you were finished with school and I was pardoned, but yes, I guess I am. Will you be my wife?"

She hugged him tightly. "I will."

"Even though I may not be pardoned, or I may lose everything?"

"I'll make sure you are pardoned. After saving me, how can they doubt which side you are on? And I don't care if you have money or not."

He thought that his life was finally coming together. He knew she would fight for his freedom. "Clearly, I do not deserve you." He looked up when the door opened.

Hermione stifled a scream when she saw Snape slip into the room.

"I don't have long," Severus said.

Hermione cowered into Lucius' chest. "He's come for the baby. Don't let him have the baby."

"I haven't come to hurt your baby, you foolish girl." He pulled a book out of his robes. "You will need this. The time is nearly here. Are you ready?"

"I am," Lucius replied as he took the book.

Severus slipped back out of the room.

"What did he mean? Are you in league with him?" Hermione asked and pushed him away.

"Darling, please, I can explain." He slipped the book into his pocket for safekeeping.

"You've seen him before. He knew about us. The baby!" she shrieked.

"Hermione, please, be calm." He was afraid her screams would draw unwanted attention. "He will not hurt the baby. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have known to come rescue you."

"You bastard! Harry and Ron are right. He's a murderer, a Death Eater!" She beat at his chest.

He looked nervously at the door. "Hermione, please don't shout. He is neither of those things."

She did moderate her tone, but the outrage was clear. "Harry saw him. He killed Dumbledore."

Lucius sighed. Every time he had tried to reach out to her, she shoved him away. "It is a very long and complicated tale, and I know I don't have much time. Severus came to me while we were at my manor. He told me that he was searching for the Horcruxes, and how he had been planting clues to allow you to locate them. He also gave me a medallion with the Protean Charm so that he could communicate with me. He had initially planned on using it to tell me when the end was near, when the last Horcrux was found. He used it to inform me that you had been captured. I then used my Dark Mark to find you."

"But he murdered Dumbledore," she insisted. "How could you have trusted him?"

He rose from the side of her bed and began pacing. "Because it wasn't his fault." How could he tell her that it was his fault? That he was responsible for Dumbledore's death. "He had an Unbreakable Vow with...Narcissa. She had made him vow to...kill Dumbledore if...if my son couldn't." He still found it hard to say their names.

"Then he should have died if he was loyal to our side!" she shouted

"He didn't want to do it. As soon as he made the Vow, he told Dumbledore. Dumbledore realized that at this point Severus' life was more important than his and told him he must carry out the Vow. Killing Dumbledore was the last thing Severus wanted to do. Unfortunately, this was all my fault."

"Your fault? How?"

He forced himself to meet her eyes. Even if he didn't tell her, she was bright enough that she would make the connection. Better she hear it from him. "I was ordered not to go to the Ministry. But I allowed my hubris to rule, and I was convinced that it would be easy, that I would get the prophecy and the glory. When I was captured...the Dark Lord took out his vengeance on Draco," he whispered. "Had I carried out my orders, that never would have happened. It is my fault that Dumbledore was murdered."

Remus opened the door and said, "Lucius, it's time to go. You've already been here too long."

"Not now, Remus," he said shortly.

"I'm afraid it has to be now. There other Aurors will be back shortly, and we need to be gone by then."

Lucius looked at Hermione and could see the horrified look on her face. "Hermione," he began.

Tears started streaming down her cheek. "Just go. Get away from me." She turned away and buried her face in her pillow.

He wanted to go comfort her, but Remus took hold of his arm.

"We have to go now. I'm sorry."

Lucius hung his head. He had known that she would not react well to this information, but he had hoped that he could have explained under better circumstances. He didn't even notice when Tonks put the manacles back on.

************

Harry and Ron slipped into the room. "Hermione?" asked Harry tentatively.

"Go away," came her muffled reply, since her face was still buried in her pillow.

Ron placed his hand on her shoulder. "Mum told us you were upset. We thought you might want to talk."

"I said go away," she sobbed.

Harry sat on the edge of the bed. "We're sorry this had to happen. Did you want to talk about it?"

Molly and Ginny had already come by to pester her, and she had managed to send them away. "Why do you care?"

"We're your friends, Hermione, and we love you," said Ron.

"I think it would help for you to talk about this with someone," added Harry. "We'll listen and not be judgmental."

She looked up and wiped the tears from her face. "I was a fool."

"You weren't a fool. He's a conniving bastard," said Harry.

"I don't know how I could let him use me like this."

"Hermione, it's the way he is. He tricked you into keeping it secret," said Ron.

She sniffed back the tears. "Maybe he did, but I should have known better. I knew how he was. And now, I've ruined my life."

"You haven't ruined your life. You can still help with the battle. In fact, we need your help. We always have. We never would have gotten this far without you," replied Harry.

That statement set off a fresh round of tears. She had thought she had been so clever, but really it had all been Snape. He had been planting clues. "Yes, you would have. You don't need me."

"Yes, we do. You're the brilliant one. Look at how much help you've been in finding the Horcruxes."

"But it wasn't me! Don't you see? It was Snape. He planted the clues, made sure we would find them. You would have found them without me."

"Snape! Who said he's got anything to do with this?" asked Harry angrily.

"Lucius said he's been placing clues. That he's still on our side."

"And you believe this? You know what he did?" Harry was outraged.

She was trying to decide if she should tell them that Snape was here earlier. "I don't know if we'll ever know the whole story, but what Lucius told me made sense." She related the explanation of Dumbledore's demise that Lucius had given her.

Harry was in denial. "Dumbledore would have never sacrificed himself."

"Wouldn't he? You told us that he made you promise to follow his orders no matter what, and he petrified you when he knew someone was coming to the top of the Astronomy Tower. We have gone on without him, and Snape never would have been able to help us unless he was fully trusted by the Death Eaters."

"He's just saying that to save his life, and Malfoy is in on it. We don't have any proof that he did anything to help with finding the Horcruxes, all you have is Malfoy's word."

Hermione chewed on her lower lip as she thought. "I don't know what to think anymore." She collapsed into Ron's arms, and he held her tightly.

Ron said, "We've always been your friends and that hasn't changed."

"Thanks, guys," she replied.

**************

Lucius paced restlessly. He had given up the sanctuary of his room for the open space of the drawing room. He had either convinced or driven Remus to finding out when Hermione might be released. There was still more that he had to explain to her; she had only heard part of the story. He knew that she was still very hormonal. Narcissa had been the same way when she was pregnant with Draco. He had survived that; he would survive this.

When he heard the door open, he rushed to the landing to see who it was. He was dismayed to see it was Weasley and Potter, and they didn't look happy. In an attempt to avoid confrontation, he moved back into the drawing room.

"I'm surprised you aren't gloating in your room," sneered Harry.

"What do I have to gloat about? Hermione was seriously injured, and I have no idea if our child will survive."

"Oh, yeah, I'll bet you're real concerned. What were you using her for? A way to bring us down from the inside to get back in your master's good graces?" asked Ron.

"I never wanted to see her hurt. I have no interest in returning to the Dark Lord's service. He may think he will save the wizarding world, but I know he will really destroy it. He cares for nothing but power."

"You seemed to think that power was pretty important. What did you hope to gain with Hermione?" Harry asked.

He couldn't believe they still doubted him. He knew that teenagers could be obstinate, but this was ridiculous. "Why would I rescue her if I wanted to return to the Death Eaters? Why I would I work so hard searching for a cure if I wanted the Dark Lord's plan to succeed? I wouldn't. The truth is, I love her and I want her to live a normal, happy life."

"Then what about Snape? Why would you be working with him?" Harry asked.

So, she had told them about Snape. "I am not working with Snape. That is impossible given my current predicament." He had to proceed cautiously to keep them from losing their tempers. "He came to my manor one night and explained to me where his loyalties lay, and they are not with the Dark Lord."

"Why should we believe you?" Harry demanded.

Lucius threw up his hands in exasperation. "What more can I do to prove my loyalty? I risked my life to rescue Hermione from a Death Eater stronghold. Had they found me, they would have killed me. And do you know how I knew where she was? Severus sent me a message. He made sure the way was clear for me to find her. He left the title of the book that had the counter-curse in her pocket. You owe her life to both of us." It was useless reasoning with those two, and he spun on his heel and walked out of the room.

Before he got through the door, he ran into Remus. "Did you find out when Hermione will be released?"

Remus nodded. "Tomorrow morning."

"Thank you," Lucius replied before heading upstairs.

****************

Lucius found he couldn't sleep. He knew that he had to speak to Hermione, but he also knew that she had talked with Weasley and Potter, and those two had surely poisoned her against him. The look of disgust she had given him when he had left was etched in his mind. In a matter of minutes, she had gone from loving him and agreeing to marry him to hating him.

After tossing and turning for a few hours, he got up and decided to write letters. The first one he wrote was to no one in particular, just a general explanation for anyone that was interested in the event he was sent back to Azkaban. He had no illusions that it would be taken seriously, but it gave him something to do.

The second was to Andromeda, letting her know that she was being named heir if anything happened to him, and the formal declaration in the letter would allow her access to the manor. She would never know that until she received the letter, but at least someone that was family would be allowed to go through the personal effects before the Ministry took control and probably destroyed historical artifacts.

The final letter he spent more than three hours writing. It took several drafts before he was satisfied he had explained everything properly. He hoped he wouldn't need to use the letter, but given her behavior toward him, he found it unlikely she would listen to him. After reviewing the letter, he thought he should write a shorter one; a letter that let her know what his feelings were and asking for the opportunity explain.

Looking out his small window, he could tell that the sun had risen. Deciding he didn't want to miss the opportunity to see her, he went down to the drawing room. After failing at reading a book, he once again took to pacing.

"Lucius, I think you should sit and have some tea," offered Remus.

"What? Tea? How can you think about tea?" He noticed that Remus had brought up a tray that had both tea and pastries.

"Because I know you haven't eaten in quite some time."

Lucius decided it wouldn't hurt to eat something. "Why is it that you still trust me? Surely the boys told you what a horrible man I am?"

"They did, but after spending time with you, I'm not inclined to believe everything they say."

Lucius snorted. "You would be the first. I thought St. Potter was always right?"

Remus laughed at the reference. "Hardly. I have learned that teenagers are prone to exaggeration. While Severus and I never got along at school, I came to trust him. I was quite surprised to learn that he had killed Albus. Your explanation is reasonable, at least how I was able to put it together." He checked the clock on the mantle. "We have some time before Hermione is released. Why don't you tell me your version?"

Lucius realized this was in his best interest and gave Remus the full explanation. He was not surprised when the look of shock crossed Remus' face.

When Lucius finished, Remus said, "You think you are responsible?"

"Of course I am. Had I done what I was told, none of this would have happened," Lucius insisted.

"You can't control the actions of others. You had no way to predict the series of events that would come from your failure. For you to take responsibility for this is just insane. Hermione's an intelligent woman, surely she must realize..."

"You interrupted me and you saw her reaction. She despises me."

"She's probably just being emotional. She has to understand that you love her and are on our side."

Lucius was about to respond when he heard the door open and hurried toward the landing. Downstairs, he could hear her voice, and he braced for the tongue-lashing she was likely to give him.

**************

Hermione was glad to finally be leaving the hospital. Over the years, she had spent more than enough time in hospital wards. Unfortunately, she knew that Lucius would be at Grimmauld Place. She couldn't believe that he had been so deceptive, that she had so easily fallen under his spell. Well, she wasn't going to let him ruin her day. She was going to ignore him.

She climbed the stairs from the entry, Harry, Ginny and Ron following behind.

"Hermione," Lucius began.

She cut him off. "I don't have anything to say to you."

"Please. I didn't get to finish."

Ron and Harry took up defensive positions in front of Hermione. Ron said, "She doesn't have anything to say to you."

"This doesn't concern you," Lucius replied sharply.

Ron placed his arm around Hermione's shoulder. "I think that it does. It doesn't concern you anymore."

Lucius clenched his jaw. "You know that I am not the same man I was."

"No. I don't know that. I find that I don't know you at all. You deceived me and I have nothing more to say to you." She turned away, stalked into her room, and slammed the door.