Redemption

Chapter 8

Various members of the Order were in and out of Grimmauld Place between Christmas and New Year's, including Hermione. She was spending a great deal of time at the library in Diagon Alley researching theories she had developed at Malfoy's. Every night, she would find a note under her pillow. They were simple notes, wishing her a good night's rest and pleasant dreams. That made the one on the thirtieth quite surprising. It was a rather lengthy poem. Not an overly romantic poem, but an original composition that he had clearly spent a great deal of time writing.

"What are you reading?" Ginny asked.

Hermione folded the note and tucked it away. "Nothing," she replied innocently.

"Did Ron write you a note?" Ginny asked as she plopped on the bed.

"That's none of your business," she replied as she slapped Ginny's hand away.

"Oh, come on. If my brother's being romantic, I want to see it," Ginny insisted.

"No! It's personal. I don't ask to see your love letters."

Ginny got up in a huff and buried her head in her pillow. That was when Hermione remembered that Ginny was in love with Harry, who was refusing to return that affection right now. She tucked the letter into her pocket and sat next to Ginny. "Ginny, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just that something like that is very personal. I got so wrapped up in my feelings that I forgot about yours."

Ginny turned her head and looked at Hermione. "I know. I just wish that he would give in to his feelings."

Hermione wrapped her arm around Ginny. "He will. He just needs time. He does love you, but he's just scared to admit it."

"I know. I just wanted to share in your happiness."

"You can share in my happiness, but you won't mind if I keep the details to myself, will you?"

Ginny giggled. "No, I guess not. I probably don't want to know the details about my brother anyway. You know, if you want someone to talk to, Tonks is available. She gave me some rather good advice."

"I'll keep that in mind. Goodnight, Ginny," she said as she crawled back into her bed. She would have to be more careful, and she would have to hide the notes she had been saving. While Lucius didn't sign them, Ginny would know it wasn't Ron's handwriting.

"G'night, Hermione," replied Ginny.

Hermione lay in bed, waiting until the house grew quiet. Once she was sure the Ginny had finally drifted off to sleep, she slipped down the hall to the drawing room. Surprisingly, it was deserted. Noticing that it wasn't really that late, she took a book off the shelf and curled up in a chair, Lucius' chair.

******************

Lucius entered the library and saw someone sitting in his chair. He approached quietly, hoping it was Hermione. He whispered playfully, "I believe you have taken my chair."

"Lucius, you startled me." Hear face flushed, and her heart was pounding, either from being startled or his proximity.

"My apologies; that was not my intention. I'm unaccustomed to finding anyone here at this hour." He reached down and brushed her cheek.

"Yes, well, I, er..." She suddenly found it very difficult to form a coherent sentence. "Thank you for the notes."

He sat in the chair opposite hers. "Since I can't be with you, it's the least I can do."

"It's just..." For one of the rare times in Hermione's life, she was having a hard time finding words.

He saw that she was blushing. "Forgive me for embarrassing you. I'll stop."

"No," she said forcefully before moderating her tone, "don't do that. I...enjoy them." She crossed the distance between them and straddled him. "They are from you and that makes them special." Leaning forward, she gave him a passionate kiss.

Lucius had not expected her to be so forward, but he was not going to complain. He had seen so little of her over the last few days and had feared she would leave before he could get her alone. "Well then, I'm glad you enjoy them. Anything I can do to brighten your day." He let his right hand drift onto her bosom.

"I've missed you," she whispered.

He gently lowered her to the hearthrug. "And I you." He seriously contemplated taking her right there. Just before he kissed her, he looked toward the door and got to his feet. "Someone's coming," he announced while offering her his hand. Once she was standing, he smoothed his clothes and walked toward the door. "Arthur," he said cordially as he passed Mr. Weasley.

"Lucius. Up late?"

"I normally read after everyone has gone to bed. I found Miss Granger in my usual chair and decided to forgo my nightly ritual. Good night." As he climbed the stairs, he had a very satisfied and smug grin on his face. Everything was happening according to plan.

Once safely in his room, he could no longer suppress his laugh. Last summer, he had carefully crafted a plan to woo Hermione. He had faithfully carried out his plan, which was now reaping dividends. Even better, she was not anywhere near as bad as Severus had made her seem. It wasn't an unpleasant experience and it made him feel young again.

*****************

"Are you all right, Hermione?" Arthur asked as he peered into the drawing room.

"Fine, Mr. Weasley. I was just buried in the book when he came in and startled me. I just couldn't sleep and thought I'd read a bit."

"All right. Don't tell Molly, but I thought I'd nip down to the kitchen for a bite. See you in the morning."

Deciding to wait until Mr. Weasley went back upstairs, she stared at the book, reliving the kiss. How did it happen? 'You asked for it.' I did not! 'I'm afraid you did. You sat on his lap.' She had been about to argue with the voice, but it was right. I must be insane. 'No, you aren't. Go up and see him.' But what if we're caught? 'He's the only one on the top floor. No one will know. You know it's what you want.'

After she heard Mr. Weasley go back upstairs, she waited ten minutes before slipping upstairs. By now, she knew which steps creaked so she could avoid them. Her heart was pounding in her chest by the time she reached the top floor landing. Before she could change her mind, she twisted the doorknob and slipped into his room.

*****************

Lucius was shirtless and turned to face the door. "Hermione?"

After admiring him for a few seconds, she threw herself into his arms. "I had to be with you again."

"I fear this room is not as well appointed as the one at the manor."

"I don't care. All that matters is that you are here." She rubbed against him.

"Well, aren't you the little nymphomaniac?" he asked playfully.

"I can't help it. It's how you make me feel."

He slipped the nightgown over her head and lowered her to the bed. "I only wish I could make it more comfortable for you here." Once again, he was trying to make her feel as though she was the most important person in the world.

She began unfastening his trousers. "I hadn't noticed."

*****************

As he brought her closer to climax, she began to moan and cry out. He stopped.

"No, no, don't stop. I'm so close," she panted.

"Darling, you're getting a little vocal, and the others might hear you."

"Sorry, sorry. Please don't stop." She pulled at his hips.

He captured her mouth in his. This way, her moans would be muffled. This time, they were able to finish without interruption.

In between soft kisses, he whispered, "We really shouldn't have done that."

"We had to do it. I needed you again before I left." She returned his kisses, enjoying the comfort of his presence.

"What if they suspect something? Last time, you had most of the day to recover before you had to face anyone."

She smiled slyly at him and ran her fingers through his silky hair. "I have a solution to that. Ginny is the only one I spend a lot of time around. The others are all too busy with Order business. She thinks that I have gotten back together with Ron."

He pulled away. "Weasley? How revolting."

She sat up and wrapped her hands around his arm to prevent him from leaving the bed. "Lucius, it's not true. I love you, not him."

"But you let the others believe you do." He refused to look at her.

"No. Just Ginny. The others don't suspect anything."

"And how long do you expect this to last? Surely, once you go back to school, she will realize you care nothing for her brother."

She sighed and leaned against him. "I know. I'll have a big row with him and be done with it." She climbed onto his lap. "I can make it work. I just want to be with you. It's been horrible seeing you every day and not being able to do anything."

"Yes, it has," he agreed. "But do you know how hard it is for me to know that people still believe you and Weasley are together?"

She leaned against him. "It's a necessary evil. It's very convenient for her to think that. And it's a better lie than any I could think of. She suspected something. What else could I have told her?"

"Shh. Let's not think about that." Having her on his lap was very arousing. As he gave into his desires, he had a horrifying thought. "Hermione, I don't have a potion..."

She stopped him with a kiss as she started rocking on his lap. "I took care of it in the hopes we would find time together."

He smiled at her in relief. "Good girl." He helped guide her in this new position.

*****************

Hermione opened her door slowly, hardly able to believe what had happened. She hadn't wanted to leave, but he had been right. The others just wouldn't understand. Would they ever understand? She would have to convince them that Lucius had changed and was trustworthy. She would have to do it carefully so they didn't grow suspicious.

"Hermione?" Ginny asked groggily. "Is that you?"

"Yes, Ginny."

"What you doing up?"

"Just wanted to get a snack. Go back to bed."

"For two hours?" asked Ginny, mid-yawn.

Hermione had not anticipated having to answer any questions. "I did some reading, too."

Ginny lit the lamp and saw Hermione's expression before she turned away. "Hermione?" she prodded.

Hermione kept her back to Ginny and tried to punch her pillow into submission. "I told you, I did some reading and got a snack."

Ginny rushed around Hermione's bed. "Oh, no you didn't. You were with Ron, weren't you?"

"No..." She realized that this was the type of lie she needed Ginny to believe. "I'm not going to talk to you about that."

"What if Mum and Dad had heard?" Ginny asked, amazed that Hermione had found the courage.

"Of course we were careful. I'm really quite tired now and would like to get some sleep."

"After all that, I'm not surprised. See you in the morning," Ginny said as she crawled into her bed.

Hermione was so exhausted it didn't take her long to fall asleep.

******************

The time to return to school was approaching all too quickly. There was a rush to collect as much information as possible before their return. When she wasn't researching in Diagon Alley, she was accompanying Harry on his Horcrux quest. They had just found another one yesterday. There were now only three left.

She took a look at the pile of dirty laundry and decided she should do something about it now rather than waiting until the last minute.

On her way downstairs, she passed Mrs. Weasley. "Ah, doing your laundry? That's good, dear. Now, if only I could get those boys to do the same."

Hermione laughed softly. She knew it was a battle to get Ron and Harry ready to go back to Hogwarts. Surprisingly, the kitchen was empty. It was normally the social center for the house, especially in winter.

She crossed the room and pushed open the door to laundry with her backside. When arms wrapped around her, it startled her and she dropped her basket.

"I didn't mean to frighten you," Lucius whispered in her ear.

She leaned back against him. "You didn't frighten me, just surprised me."

He spun her around and pressed her against the wall before kissing her deeply. "That's good. I would hate to think I frighten you."

Since he was shirtless, her eyes were drawn to the Dark Mark on his forearm. She traced it with her finger. "Will it go away?"

He resisted the urge to pull his arm away from her. "It did before. I have no reason to believe it won't this time." The Mark was the last thing he wanted to discuss with her.

She looked into his eyes for several seconds before gently kissing the Mark. She trailed her kisses up his arm, until he leaned toward her and cupped her cheek in his hand. "We should be more careful. The others are awake." He moved away from her, hoping the distance would ease the tensions.

"I know. It's just so hard." She pulled out her wand and charmed the washer to finish the clothes Lucius had been washing when she arrived.

"Thank you," he replied.

"What? Oh, it's nothing." She sat on the opposite side of the room, not trusting herself to get too close. When she finally met his gaze, she said, "I'll miss you."

Before he could answer, Ginny opened the door. "Oh, good, I thought I'd have to do it myself. Mum's refusing to do our laundry this year." She saw that the washer was working magically. "What's this?"

Hermione knew that Ginny didn't like Lucius and relished watching him perform household chores. "I didn't want to wait since I wanted to get my packing done early. I have to make sure everything will fit into my trunk."

Ginny pondered this statement for a few seconds. "I'm in no hurry. He can wash them for me."

"As you wish," he replied with a nod of his head.

"And for Merlin's sake, put a shirt on," she chided before leaving.

Hermione gave Lucius a victorious grin. "See, she doesn't suspect anything." With a flick of her wand, the clothes flew out of the washer, dried and folded themselves. Another flick and her clothes few into the washer. She saw him picking up his shirt and summoned it to her. "I prefer you shirtless," she said coyly.

He crossed the room to retrieve his shirt, which she held behind her back. "Hermione, hand me my shirt."

"No," she replied defiantly.

He pulled her against him and grasped his shirt. "As much as I love playing with you, I should probably leave before someone else brings laundry down."

She loosened her grip on his shirt enough that it started slipping through her fingers. Before relinquishing the shirt, she tightened her grip again. "Tonight?"

"If at all possible," he replied before kissing her.

After he broke the kiss, she found herself having to lean against the workbench. He paused and gave her a soft kiss before leaving. She wanted nothing more than to follow him upstairs.

******************

Hermione wasn't looking forward to going back to school. There would be no more notes under her pillow at night, no more stolen glances. And she hadn't even had the chance to say a proper goodbye. Ginny had been watching her far too closely for her to sneak out and see him.

As she neatly packed the last of her belongings, she saw an envelope placed on top of her books. Picking it up, she saw her name written in the same neat hand that had penned her nightly notes. It was a rather thick letter from the feel of the envelope, and she knew she didn't have time to read it now. Instead, she tucked it into a book. No one would think twice about her reading on the train. She felt a small stab of guilt for not thinking of writing a letter for him.

She could hear Mrs. Weasley upstairs, yelling for the boys to hurry up and get their belongings together. She still had a few minutes and pulled out quill and parchment. Tapping her quill against her forehead, she wondered how she should start the letter. Just writing 'Lucius' seemed too impersonal, but 'Darling Lucius' or 'Dearest Lucius' seemed too syrupy. She decided to come back to that later; time was running out.

I feel dreadful for not thinking about this sooner, but I only have a few minutes. I find a part of me doesn't want to go back to school, but wants to remain here. But the greater part of me knows that Harry needs me, and the school will become a focal point. It is with a heavy heart that I leave.

I will miss our chats, though we have not had one since we left your manor. It's so refreshing to have an intelligent, thought-provoking conversation. This must all sound foolish to you. I will miss you so much it's hard to express. I think I will miss your notes the most. I looked forward to going to bed every night to see what you had left under my pillow. It's silly and romantic, isn't it?

I look forward to reading your letter and only wish there was a way I could correspond with you once I leave. But, we both know that's not possible. Even if you weren't here, it would look suspicious.

Perhaps we can find a reason to return to your manor during Easter break? I've had a dreadful time sleeping the last few nights. I keep thinking of you and being with you.

I have to go. I hear them coming downstairs.

She thought a few seconds trying to decide how to close the letter.

Affectionately yours,

Hermione

After drying the ink with a quick wave of her wand, she folded the letter and tucked it under her pillow, sure he would find it there. Shoving the last few things into her trunk, she joined the mayhem in the hall that included Mrs. Black's portrait.

*****************

Once they were settled on the train, she pulled out her book. She saw that Ron had been about to talk to her, but he changed his mind. After she was left alone, she opened the book to the pages where she had placed her letter.

My dearest Hermione,

How it pains me to know that I will no longer see your beautiful face everyday. These last few weeks have been paradise for me. You have no idea what you mean to me. I hope that one day I will be able to show you. Even worse than not being able to see you is the fact that I will have no contact with you. I know that you are capable of taking care of yourself, and I tell myself not to worry, but I find I cannot help it. You are heading for the center of the storm, and I can do nothing to protect you.

No, that's not true. I hope what you learned in my library will prove of value and help protect you and the others. Still, I wish I could be there to help, but it would only place you in more danger. For now, word of my change of heart has remained secret; at least I hope that is the case.

I'm sure you have noticed that this was a rather thick letter. I recall you telling me how much you liked my nightly notes, and I had plenty of time on my hands. Truly, I have come to have great deal of respect for Mrs. Weasley, but she declared that most of the chores were hers and flatly refused my offers to help with meals. Not that I can say I blame her; I have found cooking oddly therapeutic. Isn't that strange?

Terribly sorry for the interruption. You will find the other sheets of this letter are dated. I know it will not be the same as finding a note under your pillow every night, but this is the best I could do. In addition, you will find other notes packed in your trunk. I trust you will open them on the appointed date. If I had my wand, I would have sealed them to prevent you from peeking, but I trust you not to read ahead.

Take care of yourself. I'm not sure when we will see each other again, but if you find you need anything else from my library, it would be my pleasure to escort you.

I should go now before I become too sentimental. You are my guiding star, Hermione.

Your humble servant,

Lucius

She read through the letter again, still not entirely believing the strange turn of events her life had taken these last couple of weeks. Checking the other pages that had been in the envelope, she saw that they were dated at one week intervals. Despite the urge to rip into them right away, she resisted. It would disappoint Lucius to know that she had read them all right away.

She tucked them back into the book and returned it to her trunk. After all, she did have duties to perform as Head Girl.

****************

Once back at school, lessons progressed much as they had before the holidays. Even though they weren't sure N.E.W.T. exams would be held, McGonagall had determined they would progress as usual, with as few changes as possible.

One of those changes had been the resurrection of Dumbledore's Army. They had all agreed to keep the name. Using Hermione's coins, they were able to remain alert and ready to defend the castle. After talking with Harry and Malfoy, Hermione had decided to concentrate her research on discovering any hidden magic in the castle. This was one search that Harry had been happy to help out with.

Ron seemed to calm down some from how he had acted over the holidays, but she couldn't help but think how incredibly immature he could be. He had tried to help in the search, but he didn't have Hermione's knowledge of the library, or Harry's seemingly instinctive feel for magic.

After a careful examination of the Marauder's Map, and investigating all the secret passages, they found nothing. "Clearly, wherever this magic is kept, it's something that they didn't know about," Hermione said. "I mean, the Map would only show parts of the castle they knew about, right?"

"So how do we find these other secret passages?" Ron asked.

She pulled a book out of her bag. "It's not going to be easy. I've found some information on locating secret passages. There's a spell, it's not an easy one, and it's going to take time since it's only good for a small area at a time, but it's the best I could find."

"Hermione, there are miles of hallway here. We could never search it all," Ron lamented.

"We shouldn't have to search it all," said Harry. "The Map shows us a representation of the castle. We can use the layout that Hermione found in Hogwarts: A History and concentrate our search on areas we are likely to find something. All we have to do is look for areas that don't appear to have a door. You and Ron can take on that search, and I'll continue my search of the Room of Requirement."

"Not that again. We've spent hours in there, and it's all junk," whined Hermione. Her idea was much more likely to yield results and would go faster with the three of them searching.

"We haven't gone through it all. As big as that room is, there has to be something important there. It can't all just be junk the caretakers have thrown in there over the years."

"I think I'd rather search the halls," said Ron. "Some of the stuff in that room weirds me out. What's the spell?"

The three of them leaned around the book. After practicing the spell, Hermione got Harry to agree to at least help with the search between classes. Once they felt comfortable with the spell, they began comparing the two maps. It looked like the dungeons were the best place to start.

****************

They had spent most of the weekend searching the castle. They had turned up a secret chamber in the dungeon, but the only things in the room were old specimen jars. She had only half her mind on the search, though. She knew that waiting in her room was her next note. She had tucked it under her pillow that morning. It wasn't quite the same as when Lucius placed one under her pillow, but it would have to do.

After a soak in the prefect's bathroom, she was ready for bed and to see what the new note said. Pulling the curtains around her bed, she slid the note out from under her pillow. Her hands were shaking as she unfolded it.

My dearest Hermione,

It has now been a week since we parted, assuming you aren't reading all the letters at once. I think you may have been tempted to read them all, but I trust you have waited.

I know it must be strange for you to be back at school,l and I can understand how difficult it is for you to keep our relationship secret. I must do the same. I fear that any inroads I have made with the others here would be destroyed if they knew how I felt about you.

I hope that your feelings for me have not faded. I know that mine have not. I fall asleep each night dreaming of you and hope that you do the same.

I know that it is difficult not having contact with one you care about. I assure you, I feel it, too. My only hope is that these letters will help lessen the separation. I know that you did not have the free time to undertake a project of this nature, and you should not feel guilty for not having written me letters. You had no idea I would do this, and that is the way I wished it.

I only wish I could be there with you, or rather, you here with me. After hours of phenomenal sex, I would tuck you in and kiss you sweetly to wish you pleasant dreams. Instead, you will have to accept my wishes from a distance.

You are always in my heart.

Your humble servant,

Lucius

She pressed the letter to her chest. Once the final three Horcruxes and the Dark Lord were destroyed, she could begin planning her future. She knew that the man that wrote her letters like this had to be a part of that future.

She resolved to cover more ground in her search for secret chambers tomorrow. She would get up early in to begin her search.