The Mystery Wife

Draco stepped through into utter chaos, a hex searing just past his ear and missing him by inches, trailing heat in its wake.

"Petrificus Totalus!"

"Protego! Excorio!"

"Sevanna, tha' daft bint, calm tha' passions an' hear the man out!"

"Severus, Lucius, stop, please! Let's just talk this out!"

One fat lump of a man was already out for the proverbial count, lying face down on the Aubusson carpet; Narcissa was pleading with Severus and Lucius to stop fighting; those two notables were firing at one another thick and fast as lightning; and Richard was behind Sevanna, apparently also pleading for a cease fire.

Draco-- true to his nature-- kicked the fat lump on the carpet really hard while he had the chance, then stormed over to his mother. Since the plan of 'Get Richard Out First' had apparently been scrapped, there was no point keeping his temper.

"What the HELL are you defending him for?" he ranted at her. It was probably the first time he'd shouted at his mother since he was two years old. "At least I'm your son, barely a year past my majority-- I suppose your thinking I can't handle anything myself is understandable, if insanely fucking infuriating-- but Sev? What, her life wasn't ruined enough to suit the Malfoys? She's not only stuck with protecting her friends' bratty son forever, now she's stuck with the same brat for a husband, instead of finding somebody she wanted to marry? She hadn't done enough for us? How DARE you!"

"And why would she NOT want to marry you?" Narcissa shouted back. "It may not seem so now, but we have just saved you both YEARS of pining silently for each other! Everyone who watches the two of you together agrees that you're in love! Everyone, it seems, except you!"

"Whisht, tha' blond nimrod, that's my sister tha'rt hexin'!" Richard bellowed at Lucius. Lucius was too far gone to listen, as was Sevanna.

"Protego! Crucio!"

"Protego! Imperio!"

"Protego! Expelliarmus!"

The great hall of Malfoy Manor was being blasted apart, between the two of them.

"I. Was. Working. On it," Draco informed his mother through gritted teeth, watching the ruination of his childhood home. Part of him wanted to let Sevanna tear the place down around his parents' ears, but it was the angry part, and he knew perfectly well that he'd be sorry later.

He could always Apparate out of here with Richard, telling her they were going to Knockturn Alley. She'd have to follow them. For the Vow alone, if nothing else.

Of course, he wasn't stupid enough to actually go to Knockturn Alley. He'd just take Richard to Florian Fortescue's, sit where he could see the entrance to Knockturn Alley, and wait.

Sevanna would have to go to Knockturn Alley, admittedly. Dangerous, that, he supposed. Not that Draco really cared what happened to everyone in Knockturn Alley...

No, that was no good, because eventually Sevanna would be done with them, and come after him with blood in her eye.

Buggering bleeding hell...

"Do you want me to stop them?" he asked Narcissa and Richard, his voice raised to be heard over the explosions, but forcibly calm. "I can, I think. One of them, at least."

"Aye, lad," said Richard, and Narcissa said, "Please do."

Draco sighed, braced himself, and stepped squarely in between the two duelists.

They both pulled their wands up sharply, panting and glaring at each other and him.

"Get. Out. Of the way," Sevanna growled.

"Yes, do," Lucius agreed.

A swift, silent flick of Sevanna's wrist sent Lucius' wand arcing through the air into Sevanna's free hand, and she smiled smugly as she caught it.

"Ha!" she crowed in triumph.

"Damn!" Lucius swore loudly. "Draco, if you hadn't gotten in the bloody way..."

"You deserved to lose, you interfering bastard," Draco informed him, arms folded, glaring through narrowed eyes. "Sev, you won. Be as smug as you like-- I would-- but that's enough, alright? You've trashed the bloody place. Let's take Richard and go."

"What?" Narcissa protested. "But you can't just leave! The house elves are preparing a simply gorgeous little wedding brunch! All Sevanna's favorites! Besides, she and Lucius are bleeding all over everything and need to be patched up. And we all have so much planning to do!"

Sevanna allowed just the thinnest thread of unwilling curiosity to prompt her to ask, "Planning? What's to be planned? I thought the thing was already done, with you and this idiot," she growled softly, nudging her Uncle Octavius with her foot, "standing in as proxies."

"Oh, but surely you'll want a real wedding," Narcissa beamed, "with cake and dancing and beautiful robes, and a wedding ball, with all the best society there..."

"Narcissa," Sevanna said coolly, "what 'best society' do you imagine is going to turn up for this debacle? We were all up to our necks in Death Eater hell not two months ago. We are about as popular as gout."

"Sevanna Prince-Malfoy is popular," Narcissa said promptly. "A famous but reclusive and mysterious Potions Mistress? Everyone will turn up just to see what she looks like. And as for the Malfoys, wealth and beauty are a guarantee of popularity, and now that we've been pardoned, we can start having parties again."

Draco rubbed his temples, tired and exasperated and struggling to keep his temper, and then wondered who he was reminding himself of so strongly.

Ah. Right. His wife. Husband. Whatever.

"Which of us should wear the dress?" he snarked wearily. He qualified for white; it should probably be him. And wasn't that an encouraging thought. "Mother, what was it about our arrival that let you think we were in any mood to party? We could go back and do it over again, if the anger and humiliation weren't obvious enough."

What little color was in Sevanna's face had left it entirely. "Which of us should wear the dress," she repeated dully. "Congratulations, Narcissa, Lucius, you have managed to marry your son and heir to a freak of nature, one who obviously embarrasses him. Richard, regrettable as it is, it is well past time for us to depart," she said ironically.

She grabbed her visibly confused brother and Side-along Disapparated with him, leaving nothing but the sharp crack of air and whiff of ozone in their wake.

"Oh, brilliant," Narcissa said hotly. "Well done, Draco. I doubt you could have insulted her more thoroughly if you'd funded a study project to find ways to manage it. 'Which of us should wear the dress?!' Honestly! Now that she's changed her sex for good and all, we are ALL going to have to get used to thinking of her as a woman."

"It isn't bloody easy," Lucius drawled in defense of their son. "We've all known Severus for years, as a man. It just happens to be extremely convenient that she is now a woman, and a beautiful one at that. It made an eminently sensible marital alliance possible."

Octavius Prince moaned as he came around, and Lucius gave him another good, swift kick, simply because he felt like it.

"Oh, goodness, was that you?" he simpered, his eyes rolling. "I am ever so sorry."

"Wha' 'appened?" Octavius wondered.

"Your daughter happened," Lucius said dryly, looking around the ruins of his hall. He started putting it all back to rights with a long, slow sweep of his wand. "I suppose I should be asking about her dowry, or some such."

"Doesn't 'ave a dowry, old man," said Octavius, not bothering to pull himself up off the floor. "You're the one what paid me for 'er."

Draco, trembling, face feeling like it had turned to ice, abruptly pulled out his wand and hexed Octavius, casting everything he could think of that was neither an Unforgivable nor caused pain, all at the top of his lungs. When he finally let up, Octavius was in an uglier state than he and Crabbe and Goyle had been on the Hogwarts Express, on their way home from Fifth Year. If that were possible.

For an instant, Draco's wand snapped around and wavered back and forth between his parents, indecisively... and then, turning on his heel with a curse, Draco marched off in the direction of the kitchens.

A pack of house elves came abruptly back down the same corridor, screeching in terror-- followed by a spray of the utterly obliterated remnants of Narcissa's lovely wedding brunch, most of it on fire.

"Oh, Draco!" Narcissa wailed, bustling in and putting the kitchen back to rights with hasty Extinguishing Spells. "Oh, what a mess..."

"Too bloody right," Octavius Prince growled as he entered the blast zone, his face still covered in tentacles, though Lucius had managed to take care of much of the worst of it.

"Well...I suppose we could have the thing annulled, if you really don't want her," Lucius frowned as he walked in beside his houseguest, still working on that tentacled face. "But I do think the marriage would have been good for both of you. If you'd simply hear me out, there are good and logical reasons for the two of you to be together..."

"Of course there are!" Draco shouted at him, unspeakably relieved to be given the opportunity to rant. "I was working on her! I've been crushing on him since I was eleven-- as if I'm arsed what gender he is! I was wheedling my way past that stiff sense of honour, she was finally... You couldn't have let me handle it, could you? Bloody hell, I feel sorry for Mother if this is the kind of courtship she got!"

"And what kind of courtship would you have given her instead?" Lucius frowned. "Marriages among our class are nearly always arranged. This is the way it's done. You'd think Sevanna would be grateful, as low as her people evidently are..."

"Oi!" Octavius Prince protested.

"Shut up," Draco drawled furiously, pointing the wand at Octavius' face again, without bothering to look away from his father. "You bloody sold Sev. I was the Dark Lord's torturer, you greedy bastard-- if you ever try to force her into something she doesn't want again, you're going to think the Cruciatus is a walk in the park. Merlin, there's no talking to any of you. I'm going to go find Sevanna and let her kick me, until she lets me explain that that's not what I meant. It should only take a few decades."

"Draco, sweetheart, no one's trying to force her into anything she doesn't want," said Narcissa, brushing back an uncharacteristic stray lock of hair. "We're trying to help you both see what you do want. Oh, this is so frustrating... you're obviously infatuated with her. And she obviously loves you, or she wouldn't go to such lengths to protect you, Vow or no."

"I hope so," Draco muttered. "It's the only way she's going to forgive me."

Lucius sighed. "She does have a tendency to nurse a grudge until it's ready to be displayed in a museum as an antiquity."

"Look, are you gonna do anything else about these 'ere tentaclees, or not?" Octavius demanded, pointing at his face and glowering around at all of them. With one last exasperated glare at Draco, Lucius went back to work.

"Honestly," he muttered, though whether that was intended for Octavius or Draco was unclear. "Knowing Severu... Sevanna as I do, if you want to find her, go belly up and let her kick you until it isn't fun anymore, I would recommend doing it sooner rather than later. She will likely be dropping off her brother at his home, and from there, she may well decide to disappear entirely and take on yet another new identity. At that point, finding her would be difficult to impossible."

"But the Vow," Narcissa frowned.

"If she chooses to ignore it, she will simply die when Draco does, and that only if he is killed by someone or something else."

"Fuck," Draco said vehemently, and glared at the three of them. She was all too capable of doing exactly that. "I think I almost hope someone does," he added acidly. "Don't bother owling until I forgive you for this. You'll be lucky if all you get back is a Howler."

He Disapparated with a crack, heading for Yorkshire.