We All Burn Sometimes

Chapter 7: Crash

Harry sat on his bed, dinner forgotten. He just stayed there for God knows how long, staring at the beautiful gray sweater in his hands. Beautiful because it was Draco´s.

"Oh, God..." he whispered brokenly, "What have you done, Harry?... What have you done?"

He had done it. He should have known it was inevitable. Why did he have to be so goddamned weak? He should have said no two weeks ago. Then maybe this wouldn´t have happened. But he never expected this to happen, after all, this was Draco. The Draco Malfoy. His worst enemy. The most infuriating fellow in all of Hogwarts. The blonde Slytherin with such a huge ego that he expected the air to part in front of him. The inconsiderate bastard who had made his and his friends´ lives hell the past six years.

And Harry was desperately, stupidly, starting to fall in love with him. If he hadn´t already. Because that same enemy made him laugh and held him in his sleep at night. Of course, Draco had been asleep so he probably didn´t realize it but it made Harry ridiculously happy all the same. And, now, he just gave him his sweater. Just because he said he liked it.

Shit.

He was falling for that Draco. The Draco the school never saw. The Draco he never thought existed. And he just found that he enjoyed spending time with that person, because he was nice, considerate, funny, loving... Aaaaarrrgggghhh!

He was violating every single unsaid rule between him and Draco. They had agreed to enter into this arrangement with no strings attached. So far, they´ve had no problems with it. Every minute was a blast. And they had a kick out of keeping the whole thing a secret from their friends and the entire population of Hogwarts. It was never meant to mean anything. It was just a big joke. A joke that bounced back and hit him in the face while he wasn´t looking.

What was he going to do now? Can he possibly hide it? Or, better, stop it?

Harry groaned and fell face down on his pillows. Maybe if he willed it long enough, the feeling would disappear. It just might be a silly infatuation after all. Yeah, that was it! He was just thrilled that Draco gave him something he liked. Yup, this would be gone once his reason returned and he and Draco could carry on as before. Finding a rational explanation, he breathed in a sigh of relief.

As he sniffed, he caught Draco´s spicy scent. Draco´s scent on his bed. Harry´s traitorous heart gave a little involuntary flutter.

"I´m done for."

***

Draco glanced at the Gryffindor table during supper and wondered at the conspicuously empty seat beside the Mudblood and the Weasel. Strange for Harry to skip dinner, after all, it was he who was so insistent that Draco wake for dinner.

Humph! And I was enjoying my nap. He marveled that the Gryffindor´s bed was so comfortable, much more than his. Maybe it was because of Harry´s scent all over the sheets. He had mentioned this once to Harry, that he smelled like vanilla. The other boy had been surprised. No one had ever told him that he smelled good. Draco had laughed in response and playfully sniffed him around the neck.

Draco Malfoy smiled at the memory, dinner partly forgotten.

"I believe that is a smile, not a smirk." Blaise elbowed him lightly. "You must´ve had a tolerably good afternoon. Whoever this chick is, she´s certainly doing you much good."

"Umm, yeah." Draco kept his face impassive but inside, he was frowning. One of the reasons why he was so reluctant to say anything to his friends was that he was shagging a boy. And Harry Potter, no less! Either they would pass out in shock or have him committed to St. Mungo´s. No, he couldn´t possibly tell them now. Maybe later. After all, it was just a silly little thing. It won´t matter, anyway. They were just shagging.

Vincent Crabbe leaned across the table to them. "Hey, guys! Wanna go to Hogsmeade after dinner? I have to buy a gift for my Mom. Her birthday´s next week."

"Sure," Blaise answered easily. He turned to Draco for affirmation. The blonde nodded. It would be nice to get out of school for a while.

Maybe he could find something for Harry.

***

"Harry?" Hermione´s voice wafted towards the bedroom. Harry didn´t raise his head. He was feeling too miserable to see anyone.

"Harry, why weren´t you at dinner?" Ron. There was no getting out of this.

"I wasn´t hungry," he replied. But it sounded more like "Mmmphtshgthry" seeing that he seemed to be trying to smother himself in his pillows.

"Harry, is there something wrong?" He felt Hermione´s weight on the right side of the bed, and the gentle touch of her hand on his head. "You can tell us."

Harry sighed and turned over. The first thing he saw were Ron´s sympathetic eyes.

"Did someone hurt you?" The redhead´s voice turned angry. "Is it that lover of yours? Just tell me who he is and I´ll pummel--"

Harry held up a hand and smiled tiredly. "No, it´s not him. He´s been wonderful, as usual."

"Then what is it?" Hermione again.

"I think I..." He looked down, afraid that they would see the weakness in his face, in his eyes. How he hated being weak! "I think I love him."

Silence. Ron cleared his throat.

"But isn´t that good? I mean, your relationship will just get better."

Harry shook his head. "He´ll never feel the same way." He took the cashmere sweater from under a pillow and held it lovingly, almost reverently.

"Malfoy..." Hermione gasped and clutched the sheets of the bed. "That´s Malfoy´s sweater!."

Ron looked at Harry, startled, hoping that she was just mistaken. But the truth was evident on Harry´s face. The deep green eyes were miserable, apologetic, and... strangely proud. Don´t hate me, please. They seemed to implore him.

Ron took a deep breath. He was still recovering from shock. Malfoy! What could Harry have possibly seen in that slimy Slytherin? Then he remembered his own dilemma. Oh, well... to each his own.

He reached over to Harry and touched the other´s shoulder, showing his acceptance and support. Harry would have done the same for him.

"Are you sure, Hermione?" Ron asked the still unmoving girl.

She nodded slowly, still a little dazed. "Yes, it was a present from his parents his last birthday. The owl post delivered it while we were in the Great Hall. I remembered Pansy mooning about how expensive French cashmere felt so soft and all." She paused and glanced at Harry. "I also saw him wear it during Potions thrice, and when we had to change our robes for dragon hide work-coats. I think it´s his favorite."

"Well then, it must´ve meant a lot to him." Ron looked at Harry. "Did he give it to you?"

"Yes. I said I liked it. It reminded me of him," the brunette answered softly.

"Then you must mean something to him." Ron smiled encouragingly.

"No, you´re wrong," Harry answered forcefully, "I mean nothing to him. It was just a flight of fancy. He was probably just being nice. I am, after all, his whore." This was said with some bitterness.

"How sure are you, Harry?"

"I can see it in him. He laughs with me, talks to me. But I never see that look. You know, that look. The one that someone gives you to show they care, even for a little." he sighed, "He never looked at me like that."

"I know what you mean." Hermione said, her voice a little hoarse. She suddenly launched herself at Harry and hugged him tightly, startling the two boys.

"Thank you. Thank you so much, Harry." She moved back, wiped her eyes and gave him a little smile. "Believe me, everything will work out fine. You´ll see."

Then, before either of the two could bat an eyelash, she was out the door, running to only God knows where.

Ron stared at the open doorway. "Maybe she just realized something. Well, good for her." He turned back to Harry. "Talk to him, Harry. Maybe you´re wrong. Don´t knock it off `til you´ve tried asking him."

Harry didn´t feel any more hopeful about the possibility that Draco might like him that way. But he was glad for his friends´ support. He put his hand over Ron´s and smiled.

"Thanks."

***

"Draco?"

"Hmmm?" The blonde didn´t turn towards him. His eyes were already closed, luxuriating in the afterglow. They were in Draco´s private room that night. Harry had arranged the meeting, feeling that he had to make things clear with the Slytherin as soon as possible. Just as expected, Draco had agreed easily. In fact, he had been the eager one. As soon as they entered, he had pounced on Harry, sucking on the Gryffindor like there was no tomorrow. As if they had not spent the whole afternoon together.

Harry was determined to say this out. He had to know, for his own sanity. "About this evening, when you gave me the sweater--"

"Oh yes! That reminds me." Draco bent towards the drawer and rummaged around until he found what he was looking for. He took out a package wrapped in paper with a slim silver ribbon and handed it to Harry.

Surprised, Harry took it from him. Draco looked excited, as if it was terribly important. "C´mon, open it."

Harry looked down at the package and felt his heart leap and make a little dance around his chest. He was touched, there was no denying that. Aside from the sweater this afternoon, he had never received anything from Draco. He suddenly felt warm all over.

"This is for me?" he asked, rather reluctantly, still not sure if the Slytherin was being serious.

Draco nodded, smiling. "I saw it in Hogsmeade earlier and it reminded me so much of you that I just had to buy it. Open it, now." He kissed Harry´s nose playfully.

With shaking hands, Harry unwrapped the package. Beneath layers of tissue was the most delicate little jade snitch pendant with a long platinum chain. The tiny snitch even had semitransparent wings attached. It was the most expensive and loveliest gift Harry had ever received. He wanted to cry in Draco´s arms but since it wouldn´t be seemly, he swallowed the urge and looked into the blonde´s eyes happily.

"This is the best gift anyone has ever given me. Thank you." He leaned forward and gave Draco the most passionate kiss he had ever given. Harry felt like he was walking on air. If he was looking for a sign, this was definitely it! This was a confirmation! Draco must feel the same way about him. Fuck-buddies didn´t go around giving their partner expensive gifts for nothing.

As they pulled apart, Draco gasped in wonder, "Wow! If I knew you´d be this grateful, I would have given you gifts everyday." He laughed and Harry smiled shyly. But the Gryffindor´s smile disappeared with Draco´s next words.

"Even Francesca Littleton wasn´t so appreciative when I gave her that blue diamond ring. And Merlin knows that almost cost the earth."

"Francesca..?" Harry hoped that he merely misheard. Diamond ring?

Draco laid down again, relaxing. "Francesca. She´s the daughter of one of my parent´s friends. Extremely rich girl, good breeding. Lovely and very good in bed." He grinned wickedly. "I think Dad wants me to marry her. I think I will, too. She´s the perfect wife for a Malfoy. You should meet her sometime, Harry."

Harry sat silent, his world falling apart, piece by piece. He should have known. Stupid Harry, reaching for the moon. Really, he should have known. Soon, he heard Draco´s soft, regular breathing. He had fallen asleep.

As Draco slumbered, Harry Potter lay there beside him, drinking up the sight of the boy he had unwisely given his heart to. And as the first light of dawn touched the two figures, Harry just sat there, clutching the jade snitch. He hadn´t slept a wink. He momentarily closed his eyes which were swollen with tears.

No more, Harry. He told himself. This is the last time you are going to cry for Draco Malfoy.

He opened his eyes and waited patiently for Draco to wake up. They had much to discuss.

***