Castles in the Air

Castles in the Air

It happened again.

Harry stood at the window of the living room, staring at the front garden. They were all in bloom, the flowers. Red, yellow, pink... the colors blurred together and ran down the canvas of his thought. He touched his cheek and felt wetness. It had been years. Years since he had last seen him.

Ginny was in the kitchen. From here, he could hear her bustling around. The sound of the oven door closing, her voice humming their song...

Se tu fossi nel mio cuore per un giorno
Potreste avere un´idea
Di cio che sento io...*

The song that did not really belong to her. He taught her the words. She may know what they mean, but never to him. She would never understand what they meant to him.

Sometimes, at night, he could still hear the voice singing softly. He would curl up, away from her, and magically feel those arms around him again, rocking him to sleep. Whispering, singing in his ear. The silver tongue of a silver boy. And Harry would feel the tears come once more. They came unbidden, without thought. It was just the way things were.

She laughed, high and clear--the happy girl in love. He crashed back to reality. Some things were too painful to think about.

He heard her brother, his friend, say something. Their gay chatter mocked his soul. He would never share that happiness. He never belonged. What made him think he would? Now, it was too late to turn back.

He watched his hands as he clenched and unclenched them. They were no longer fifteen, smooth and young. Ten years of life had weathered those hands. But no amount of years could make him forget. He would always be cursed to remember.

"Where is Harry?" Ron asked, a little puzzled.

"Oh, he´s probably staring out at the garden again. He loves doing that, especially when it rains."

"I never knew flowers could get to him."

Their voices sounded distant to him. Here, in front of the window, looking at the flowers, he was in another world.

It had started to rain. The droplets of water made minute splashes on the surface of petals. The sound of thousands creating a harmony only he could hear.

Quando m´abbracci forte a te
E petto a petto, noi
Respiriamo insieme

He saw him again yesterday. The first time in ten years. Just a helmet of gold among many, until he turned and met his eyes. The ten years faded, as if they never happened. They were young again. Just the two of them. Alone.

Then, Harry turned and left. He was shattered, broken inside. He couldn´t accept the mistake he had made a long time ago.

A mistake. Yes, he knew that now. He shouldn´t have married her, vowed to make her happy. He had imprisoned himself in his perfect world.

Now, he wanted... needed to escape. To run back to the person he never should have left.

It was starting to get darker outside. They would be eating dinner soon. The rain fell, stronger than ever, creating a roar in his ears, pushing him down... until something caved in.

He walked to the kitchen.

"Hi, honey!" Her sweet-smelling arms wrapped around him. "Where have you been?"

He cleared his throat. "I have to go."

"Now? Don´t be silly, darling. It´s raining cats and dogs outside. Is it terribly important?"

Harry nodded, meeting Ron´s eyes. He gently pushed himself away from her and approached his friend.

"I´m sorry," he whispered. The brown eyes merely saddened. He knew, of course. He had always known what they never dared to mention.

"I´ll... I´ll explain," Ron said softly. Then he tried to smile. "Go now, before I change my mind."

Harry embraced a baffled Ginny. "I love you, Gin. I have to go now."

She laughed, confused. "Oh, just go then. But do try to come back as fast as you can. What are you going to buy that´s so important?" She thought he was just out on an errand.

But Harry was already out, running in the rain.

"Honey! You forgot your umbrella!"

But he never heard her. He doubted if he´d ever hear her voice again.

He didn´t know how far he ran, or how long. He didn´t even feel the cold. Just freedom. Plain, beautiful freedom.

He arrived, dripping wet. He banged on the door, yelling. It opened to reveal what he thought he´d lost forever.

"I´m sorry! I´m so sorry..."

"You´re late, Potter." The voice softened, broke. "I waited ten years."

Se tu fossi nella mia anima un giorno
Sapresti cosa sono in me

"I´ll never leave again."

They embraced, the pale young man´s clothes seeping the wetness from the other. The ten years were forgotten. At that moment, they were young once more, back in Italy, lying amongst the flowers and the rain. They only heard the sound of water... and the music that never left their heads.

Che m´innamorai
Da quell´istante insieme a te
E cio che provo e ...

"You´re here now."

"I love you, Draco."

...Solamente amore

He was home.

-fin-

***

*translation: (taken from Cinema Paradiso)

Se tu fossi nel mio cuore per un giorno If you were in my heart for a day
Potreste avere un´idea You would have an idea
Di cio che sento io Of what I feel
Quando m´abbracci forte a te When you hold me strongly to you
E petto a petto, noi Heart to heart,
Respiriamo insieme Breathing together

Se tu fossi nella mia anima un giorno If you were in my soul for a day
Sapresti cosa sono in me You would know what is inside me
Che m´innamorai That I fell in love
Da quell´istante insieme a te At that instant, together with you
E cio che provo e And what I sense
Solamente amore It´s only love

***

Castles in the Air

(By Passo)

When she asks you why I left,
tell her pain needs to be felt.

I have dreams to chase
and truths to raze--
truths that make me want to save face.

She can't stand to see me fall
each time I try to stay within walls.

But I wait to feel the wind in his hair...
I'm tired of seeing castles in the air.

(dedicated to one who followed castles)