The Many Feelings of Rain

The rain is falling down hard; it's getting everything wet, including me. I'm just standing out here, looking up at the sky, the dark grey and black clouds, the drops that are falling and running down the sides of my face. I shut my eyes, thinking about something. When a drop catches on my eye, it slides down my face like a tear. But it's not; I don't cry, even now. Especially now.

I take a deep breath, the fresh air from the rain filling my lungs. I let it out as a sigh, opening my eyes again. My eyes are starting to hurt a little, but it's not from crying. I already said it; I don't cry.

'Hermione, get a hold of yourself!' I shout mentally, shutting my eyes tightly once more. 'You're fine, you're just out in the rain.'

'How long do you think you can hold it off?' a cruel voice in the back of my mind asks as I cringe.

'Face it,' the voice continues, as I feel red hot anger- or is it embarrassment? - flooding up my face. 'You've fallen for your best friend.'

"NO!" I scream out loud to the horrible voice, feeling my face go hot again, despite the icy cold drops getting me even wetter than I am already. Suddenly, uncalled for and definitely the last thing I need, a face flashes into my mind. I snap my eyes back open, but the image is still vivid in my mind's eye. The rain falls like miniature, icy daggers, stinging every time they hit me as I recall the face I saw. Those freckles, making the smiling face seem almost tan... the bright eyes that contrasted with that red hair so much it was... amazing. I find myself with my eyes closed again, breathing deeply with a serene smile on my face, as the rain falls lightly on me and drips down slowly, soothingly.

"NO!" I yelp again, though this time quieter, more reluctantly. I sink to my knees and shake my head fiercely, and my sopping wet hair flings around, some loose strands sticking to my equally wet face. Suddenly I feel cold, like I just noticed how chilly the bitter raindrops are against my face. A thought crosses my mind, that evil voice that I hate so much.

'He'll never like you like that. In fact, if you ever tell him, you may ruin your friendship...' it says cruelly, and I look down, still kneeling on the grass, and shut my eyes again.

"No," I say again, though it only comes out a scared whisper this time, barely heard among the splashing drops. Suddenly the rain seems warmer, and quieter. A strange feeling sends chills down my back in a sudden change of temperature. What feels like two warm, almost hot raindrops, starting from my eyes run down, tracing the contours of my face. But it can't be tears; I don't cry!

I bite my lip, opening my eyes again, trying to force down the lump in my throat. His face appears in my mind again, but I can't stand it. I choke on the sobs forming in my throat and begin to cry, for real. I've fallen for my best friend! There, I've admitted it. The rain keeps falling as hard as ever, but it seems warm still, and comforting. I can live with this. I can keep this secret, and one day... I take in a sharp intake of breath, letting it out in what I hope is a calming way, but the choking sobs are still somewhat there.

'Maybe one day I can tell him,' I think to myself, before standing up. I look up, as the rain begins to slow, then, eventually, stop. As I stand there, I even see the sun begin to peek out from behind some light gray clouds. Maybe it'll rain later, I'll never know. I take a deep breath, and turn around, walking inside from the chilly but sunny afternoon, with anxious and yet some how comforting thoughts filling my head.