Message In The Ashes

Chapter Nine

Dragon Tears

"Can I help you?"

Remus stared at the receptionist. The young witch was very slim, her robes outlining every contour of her body. She cocked a suspicious eye at him, most likely misinterpreting his silence. Remus simply was too nervous to find words, and stood there in front of the Ministry’s potion storehouse with his mouth gaping open as Ms. Lapel (her name engraved clearly on the plaque sitting on her desk) stared at him impatiently.

"Excuse me sir, is there something you need?" she asked.

"Er…" Remus ran a shaking hand through his hair. He could just feel eyes on his back, eyes that would know if he were to mess up or do something they wouldn’t approve. When he had left his cottage, it was as if the entire forest was watching him. Beta didn’t say just how many of the other werewolves would be following him, but the way his instincts felt gave him the impression that the entire pack was on his tail. Apparating to the Ministry did not relieve the pressure- it only made it worse.

Ms. Lapel was growing just as uncomfortable as Remus was- only it was because of his silence and gaping mouth in her general direction.

"I’m sorry, sir, but may I see some identification?"

Trying desperately to calm himself, Remus fumbled for his general Ministry ID. Still shaking slightly, he handed it to her and she appeared to study it closely.

"What is it you need, Mr. Lupin?" she asked curtly.

Remus took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and willed himself to ignore his feelings.

"I-I have been instructed to withdraw fifty gallons of dragon tears, ma’am," he said as smoothly as he could manage.

Ms. Lapel was about to say something, when Remus felt someone clap him on the shoulder. He literally jumped a foot and went sheet white as he whirled around to face Sirius.

"Good Lord, Moony! You’re more high strung than a house elf with his ears boxed off!" Sirius laughed genially.

Remus grabbed Sirius’ shoulder tightly as he attempted to force his heart back in his chest. Sirius only continued to chuckle as he supported him, giving Ms. Lapel his usual charming wink. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, looking at her watch.

"So, what’re you doing here? Why didn’t you report to the office when you got in?" Sirius asked when Remus had finally collected most of himself. The question brought him back to reality and his heart only began to panic again. Sirius was here! This was not supposed to happen! What was he going to say? Oh, I just needed some fifty gallons of dragon tears to make a muscle enhancing cocktail for a little pick-me-up, that’s all!

"I, er… I, well…" he stuttered.

"I’m sorry, Mr. Lupin," Ms. Lapel cut in airily. "But I’m afraid you’ll need written permission from the Minister himself for such a pure ingredient as dragon tears. Especially fifty gallons of it."

Remus turned to her, feeling as if he was sweating buckets.

"Dragon tears? What do you need with dragon tears? And so much of it, too?" Sirius looked at him with a slightly puzzled expression.

Remus turned back to look at him, completely pallid. Sirius’ expression grew even more puzzled. Concern filled his eyes.

"Remus? What’s going on?"

"Dumbledore!" Remus said quickly, his mind suddenly finding a legitimate excuse. "Dumbledore asked for it."

Before Sirius could say anything more, Remus turned back to the receptionist and pulled back the hem of his cloak to reveal the golden phoenix pin of the Order. Ms. Lapel’s eyes widened with surprise and nodded.

"One moment please, then, Mr. Lupin." She got up and went through a door.

"You still haven’t answered my question, Moony," Sirius said, nudging Remus in the shoulder.

Feeling only slightly better, Remus carefully looked at him.

"Dumbledore owled me this morning and gave me explicit instructions to retrieve fifty gallons of dragon tears." The lie tasted bitter in his mouth.

"But why?" Sirius asked, completely befuddled.

Remus shrugged, hoping that Sirius couldn’t see his shoulders shaking from nerves.

"Who knows?"

Sirius appeared to study him a moment, before shrugging himself and shoving his hands in the pockets of his cloak.

"Well, it’s not all that surprising. Dumbledore is a pretty spontaneous old wizard, if you ask me."

"And you’re not?" Remus struggled with a light, normal tone, trying to assuage both himself and Sirius at the same time.

The humor returned to Sirius’ eyes and he smiled mischievously at him.

"Ah, good point. Like that giant purple caterpillar that’s now chewing on Ms. Lapel’s expensive-looking white jumper."

Remus started and whirled around to see, in fact, a purple caterpillar the size of a frankfurter munching contently on the fibers of the white sweater hung on Ms. Lapel’s chair. Sirius erupted in bales of laughter as Remus, his face pained, struggled to bat the insect off. Unfortunately, Ms. Lapel returned, a huge keg suspended magically behind her. She looked at Remus, first with confusion, then with horror when she realized what he was attempting to do.

"Mr. Lupin!" she cried, outraged.

Completely horrified, Remus stopped and stared with his mouth agape again. He attempted to say something, but once more found himself speechless. Finally, while Ms. Lapel whined and fretted and made disgusted, distraught sounds over her sweater, Remus pulled out his wand and said the first spell he could think of.

"Accio caterpillar!"

With a swoosh, the huge purple insect was magically pulled from the sweater and into his open hand. After a brief sigh of relief, Remus yelled disgustedly and dropped the caterpillar to the floor. With Sirius still in a fit and Ms. Lapel crooning over her garment, Remus proceeded to stomp the creature with a loud squish. Purple guts went everywhere, including the sleeve of Ms. Lapel’s sweater.

"Ugh! Oh, how dreadful!" Ms. Lapel screamed.

Sirius was practically on the floor, doubled up.

Remus flashed a look of fury at him and tried his best to cajole Ms. Lapel. He brandished his wand to attempt a cleaning spell, but the outraged receptionist pulled it from his reach and sent the fifty gallon keg of dragon tears hurtling at him.

"Just GO! Go!" she bellowed, turning with her soiled sweater and disappearing back through the door.

Remus had only just managed with his wand to stop the keg of dragon tears from permanently bashing his face in. He stared at it, the wooden keg floating in front of him. Now, to get this back to the Pack and report to Dumbledore before Sirius got to him first with questions.

Remembering Sirius, Remus turned to him, all color back to his flesh and growing continuously red. Sirius struggled to his feet, regaining his composure.

"You should’ve seen the look on your face!" he continued to chuckle, pointing at him.

"You idiotic prat! You know I don’t like insects! And look what happened! You can bet I won’t be able to withdraw any more potions while Ms. Lapel has a shift!" Remus raged.

"Aw, calm down, Moony. You just said so yourself that I was spontaneous. Besides, now you have your tears. What are you going to do with it?"

Remus looked at him, the fear racing his heart again.

"Go to Dumbledore, of course," he said slowly.

Satisfied and cleared of his laughter, Sirius nodded and clapped his hands together.

"Well then, I shall see you when you’re finished. We have rounds later, you know."

Remus could just feel his shirt become wet with his nervous sweat. He swallowed hard and called after Sirius as he began to leave.

"I may not make it, tonight. Peter will have to pair with you."

Sirius looked back at him a moment, confusion flickering yet again across his face, but he nodded once more and rolled his eyes.

"Great."

Remus did not move until he was sure Sirius was gone. With the corridor clear of anyone else, he magicked the keg to follow him and left the building.

Now I wish I had James’ invisibility cloak, Remus thought. He felt very exposed outside, facing a line of trees that surrounded the disguised building that was part of the Ministry’s main offices. Looking around him, Remus was completely at a loss of what, or rather where, to go next.

He did not have to think long, for there was a low whistle that brought his attention to the trees in front of him. There, hiding behind the trunks in the shadows, were three people he recognized from the Pack.

The one who whistled, Remus could see, was Ice, the tall, tight-lipped blonde. She motioned for him to come over quickly, and he did so. The keg floated behind him, and once he reached the trees, Ice and the two others grabbed it roughly.

"You sure there’s fifty of it?" asked Thistle, one of the other two.

Remus nodded, not trusting his voice to speak.

"If not, you can be sure you’ll be the first to answer to D Two," said Puck, the second member. His voice was harsh, leering up at him with narrowed eyes. Remus found himself glaring back; it was Puck’s fault this was happening, after all.

"Oh, shut it, Puck! It’s your fault we’re in this mess. If D Two doesn’t tear you apart, Alpha surely will. It’s a miracle he hasn’t already," Thistle said angrily, cuffing Puck’s ears. Remus tried hard not to smile, thanking Thistle silently in his head.

"D Two?" he asked instead.

"That’s the assigned designation of the pack that this young twit decided to fool around with," Ice grumbled, pushing the still-suspended keg roughly toward Puck.

"Quiet! All of you! If you haven’t already forgotten, we’re still smack in front of the Ministry of Magic! Let’s go," Thistle snapped.

With Puck in the lead with the keg of dragon tears, they crept through the trees and headed toward some other abandoned buildings that Remus knew were actually as they appeared. He felt like enormous weights had been piled on his shoulders, and more was being stacked upon him as each moment passed. Never in his dreams did he imagine himself in this position four months ago. Now that seemed a lifetime away, a time of innocence. As he squeezed himself through a jagged gap in the siding of one run-down, ignored warehouse, Remus could not recognize himself. He had become Remus the criminal, the outlaw.

Puck led them over to a metal shaft that led downward underground. A set of rusted metal stairs descended into darkness, and Thistle took out a flashlight she had tied to a belt loop on her patched jeans. Remus had to remind himself that Muggles were not immune to werewolves, and that the sole reason why they wanted him as a member of the Pack was because he was an educated wizard. He could have easily lighted his wand, but decided against it, being so close to the Ministry.

They got to the bottom of the stairs, and Remus was surprised to find himself in a tunnel that had been dug in the earth. Without a word, the three Pack members led him further into the gloom, the flashlight only reaching a few feet in front of them and casting eerie shadows on the packed earth around them. Before long, they came upon a brick wall that had a hole knocked through it. Walking inside, Remus realized that they were now in an old Underground station.

"This line was abandoned years ago," Thistle explained, noticing Remus’ awe. "Now it serves our purposes. It leads us straight home."

Puck, with the keg of dragon tears, and Ice jumped down onto the railway and began to walk into the tunnel. Thistle motioned for Remus to follow and jumped down herself. Remus carefully clambered after them, his mind reeling with this surreal situation.

It took nearly thirty minutes to get to the next abandoned station where Thistle announced was their stop. Puck, uncertain with the magicked keg, managed to get all fifty gallons of dragon tears up to the surface again. Remus followed Thistle and Ice closely, and when he found himself coming up into broad daylight, he panicked.

The station exit led straight up to a country road next to some downtrodden looking buildings. Thistle hushed them for silence, for, to Remus’ horrific surprise, there were people milling about. A gas station was serving a few cars, and it wasn’t until the Muggles were distracted with paying that Puck dashed out into the woods across the road, carrying the keg awkwardly, as it was still magicked.

Next went Ice after a car zoomed past and the Muggles were still occupied at the station. Thistle pushed Remus forward, and motioned her head for him to go when one Muggle turned away. With a lump in his throat, Remus ran quickly across and threw himself behind a tree trunk. Breathing heavily, he glanced at Puck and Ice. Puck rolled his eyes and smirked.

Thistle came a few minutes later, after the cars that were at the gas station had left.

"Home, you lot," she hissed, more so at Puck than Remus or Ice.

It didn’t take long before Remus found himself once more in the bowels of the Pack’s hideaway. The large room with the maps and folding chairs was now busy with the others of the Pack. Churo, the elder male, was consulting with Ice over a carefully tacked out diagram. Thistle and the other woman named Lori were sitting quietly in a corner, nursing mugs of tea. Puck had resulted to inspecting the keg of dragon tears, shooting quick glances at Remus. Remus himself stood there in the middle of the room, not quite sure what to do.

"Well then," said a voice from behind him. "I see you survived."

It was Alpha. Remus turned to him, his expression still slightly bewildered. Alpha loomed over him with an intimidating grin, his muscular hands rested on his broad hips.

"You’re surprised, then?" Remus found himself saying.

Alpha barked out a laugh, which, to Remus’ ears, sounded very much like the wolf that resided inside of the large man.

"Beta was especially keen that you would, but, yes, I admit I had my doubts. However, you were the only man for the job. I must say that in a way, you’ve saved the Pack. For that, I am grateful."

"The Pack has not been saved yet," said a quiet voice. Beta appeared from behind Alpha, looking just as she had that morning in Remus’ bedroom. However, as Remus found himself swallowing hard in her presence, glancing at Alpha’s amused look toward his second-in-command, he noticed that Beta had a tired aura around her. She looked almost wary, and her eyes could hardly be seen at all through her shaggy bangs.

"Oh?" Alpha leaned down toward her, not showing any reaction when she moved away.

"The Pack won’t be safe until that idiot Puck fixes the problem. It’s a shame that we had to go to such lengths for his mistake," she said.

Remus said nothing, keeping his face nonchalant as he watched the two converse back and forth tongue-in-cheek.

What lengths did you go to? Remus thought with a little resentment, looking at them.

"Yeah, well, it was Puck who started it and it will be Puck who’ll end it." Beta looked toward the young man with contempt. Puck had a snide look about him and he glared at them as he continued to circle the keg.

"She’s right," said Churo, coming over after giving Ice a sheet of paper and watching her go off into the back rooms. "It will be Puck who will hand over the dragon tears. Only, it would be wise for you, Beta, and young Rogue here to flank him in case of trouble. I know the alpha of D Two fairly well, and he has been known to go back on his word more than once."

Puck stormed up at this point, scowling at the old man.

"You think I can’t do this on my own? I don’t need magic boy here to save my hide!" he shouted angrily.

Remus didn’t say a word, but he could see Beta looking at him from the corner of his eye. Alpha, however, clapped a hand on Remus’ shoulder and laughed.

"Oh, shut it, Puck! Rogue needs to see his world, get to know what we’re all about. Time he gets a taste of our borders and see others. Heaven knows that if you start to get your neck snapped, you’ll be running back with your tail between your legs before we even think of stepping in."

Puck turned hotly to Alpha, but the leader was a good head and a half taller than him, and it was clear who was law. They stood there glaring at each other a minute, before Puck succumbed angrily and scuffed away. Churo watched it all with his cool and watchful eyes, completely indifferent, while Beta smirked with her arms crossed.

"How soon are we leaving to meet this other pack?" Remus asked tentatively, breaking the silence.

"Nightfall," Alpha said. "We only meet others under the light of the moon, whatever face it shows the world."

And it was so, for Remus found himself standing amongst a tangle of trees under the light of the crescent moon that evening. Beta and Alpha stood on either side of him, watching with narrowed eyes as Puck dragged the keg of dragon tears into a clearing.

The meeting place was in a part of the forest that reached the far edge of the Pack’s territory. According to the Network’s registry, the Pack was titled A One. D Two’s territory only touched the Pack’s in a small part in this forest. Like Beta had said, a werewolf’s pack territory is large and widespread. It was rare to come together like this, which explained why the Pack was so angry with Puck.

At first, there wasn’t anyone there. Puck, panting, managed to get the fifty-gallon keg out to the center. He stood there, catching his breath, and looked around. Remus glanced at Alpha and Beta, who were not looking at Puck, but at the trees on the other side of the clearing. It was then that he heard them.

Eleven shadows were gliding away from those trees, growing bigger as they approached Puck. Remus could only hear their footfalls on the tall grass, crunching gravel or a twig here and there. Even as they came within a few feet of Puck, Remus still could not make out any of their features. It was as if they were one with the night. He would later learn that D Two was one of the oldest packs in Britain, despite its title on the Network. It was rumored that there were some uneducated wizards in their pack, and that raw magic protected them. Remus argued this- unregistered magic with the Ministry does not go undetected.

"Well?" said a very deep and menacing voice. Finally, a cloud shifted, and the crescent moon’s dim light was cast upon the owner. If Alpha was large, this man was huge. He had wild, long blonde hair and a pointed nose. Every inch of him was solid muscle, and Remus could sense Alpha tensing up. This man was D Two’s alpha, their leader, and apparently a well-matched rival.

"I’ve got what yeh want, Duryan," Puck said, his voice cold.

Duryan simply pushed him roughly aside and looked the keg up and down, tapping it to see if it was indeed full.

"Impressive, mutt," he sneered. "Dunno how yeh done it."

Remus could tell Puck was nervous, he could sense his fear. Already, to his confused surprise, Remus was connecting to the other Pack members. Puck’s nervousness made him alarmingly eager to help him. Nearly horrified, Remus looked at Alpha and Beta in turn. Both of them had eager expressions on their faces, Alpha more than Beta.

This can’t happen! I won’t allow it! Remus pounded his head.

"Well, take it and be off with you!" Puck said irritably, his arms crossed.

"Not so fast, mutt. You’re not off the hook yet," Duryan said with a hint of amusement in his voice.

The rest of D Two chuckled softly, and Puck’s eyes began to show that fear he was keeping at bay. He was still young, and hardly a match should D Two attack.

"What do yeh mean? You’ve got what yeh asked for, now leave!" he shouted.

"I mean that if it turns out that this keg is not full of dragon tears, and the labor intensive concoction we plan to make fails, you can expect fur to fly next moon." Duryan flexed his muscles.

Remus expected Puck to retort quickly back that the keg really was full of pure dragon tears and that there was no reason to make doubt. However, there was a flash in Puck’s eyes that made Remus wonder. Puck’s mouth dropped open and he shook his head.

"I hardly believe that necessary, Duryan," Alpha said loudly, stepping out from his place. Remus watched him stride up to them, and turned when he heard Beta move as well to follow. Feeling that there was need to show backup, Remus went out too.

"Oh, Alpha?" Duryan’s amused expression turned cold when Alpha faced him. "Are you, the alpha of your pack, guaranteeing the validity of the contents in this keg?"

Remus stood slightly behind them, in Beta’s shadow. His entire body was rigid as all his senses went on full alert. He felt extremely exposed and vulnerable. Alpha turned to him, and Remus stared back with all the innocence and assurance he could muster.

"Yes," Alpha said firmly, looking back at Duryan.

Duryan bit his lip and glowered down at Puck, who had moved beside Alpha with as much dignity that he had.

"Very well," Duryan sniffed. "But if that mutt so much as steps foot or paw in my territory again, you can be sure we’ll be back."

"You forget that we’re under an alliance right now," Beta said gruffly, stepping forward as Duryan hefted the keg into his arms with little effort. "We’re all working for the same cause. It’s foolish to continue petty issues that are so primitive."

He looked at her with a glint in his eye. Beta shifted a little as he remained silent, seemingly sizing her up. Remus glared at Duryan, not trusting his words at all. Alpha stepped in front of Beta, shielding her from Duryan with a possessive stance.

"Your mate is very outspoken," Duryan said silkily.

"I’m not his mate," Beta nearly growled.

"You’d do well to leave now, Duryan. Our business here is finished," Alpha said loudly. He began to walk backwards, forcing Beta to do the same. She apparently was not pleased, and her expression turned exasperated when Alpha still had not removed himself from in front of her. Puck had already walked briskly back to the shelter of the trees. Remus stood rooted to his spot, still staring keenly up at Duryan with distaste. He didn’t trust this man at all, and he had a strange sense of foreboding about him. Duryan finally noticed him, and regarded him without interest.

"Fresh meat, I see," he said. "And still a pup. What’s your name, boy?"

Before Remus could answer, Beta had shoved herself out from behind Alpha and strode over to Remus, grabbing his shoulder and pulling him back.

"Rogue… and be warned, Duryan. We have sources should you violate the terms of the Network."

He laughed and a few of his pack members came up and took the keg from him.

"I’d watch that one, young Rogue. She’s got a bite to match that bark of hers."

Remus pulled himself free of Beta and watched as Duryan and the rest of D Two disappeared back into their side of the clearing. Silence soon followed, and Remus looked around him. Puck was leaning up against a tree, looking anxious to leave. Alpha and Beta were both glaring at the spot where Duryan had left.

Of everything Remus expected Beta to have said after that encounter, he did not really expect what happened next.

There was loud crack, and Remus jumped and looked at her and Alpha. Alpha’s left cheek was a bright and ghastly red, and Beta stood before him more enraged than Remus had ever seen her.

"I can take care of myself," she said vehemently.

Alpha looked as if they had gone through this before, and glanced at Remus and Puck before turning back to her. His voice was a deadly calm.

"He was coming on to you," he said.

"Like I would let him!" Beta raged.

"I don’t understand why you’re so upset!" he yelled back.

"I am not your property! I am not you’re mate! I won’t be treated as such any longer!"

Alpha seemed to grow larger, and Remus cringed. He had apparently been holding himself back because of Remus and Puck, but now that did not matter. He swung out his hand and grabbed Beta’s arm roughly. She yelped slightly, but glared angrily back up at him.

"I don’t care what you think! You are Beta, your place is beside me! I won’t tolerate your attitude for a minute more!"

Alpha had both hands gripped tightly and possessively around Beta’s arms as she tried to pull away. He was twice her size and at least ten times stronger. Remus watched, aghast, as Alpha continued his lock on her even when a sickening crack and Beta’s scream of pain deafened the air.

Remus acted before thinking. He leapt over to them and wrenched Beta free from Alpha with all the strength he possessed. It never occurred to him to use magic, for that would’ve been safer. He stood between them, defiantly glaring up at Alpha despite the wobble in his legs.

"You have no right to treat a woman like that!" he said heatedly, hoping that only he could hear the waiver in his voice from sheer terror of the large man in front of him.

"Move out of my way," Alpha whispered low and dangerously.

"No," Remus forced himself to say.

"Rogue…" Beta started. Remus faltered, and Alpha used that opportunity to land a square perfect punch to his left eye.

The world went black for a moment, before he opened his right eye and found he could not see out of his left. His head was pounding and his ears were filled with angry shouting. Tentatively, he felt his left eye, wincing as the pain intensified. The whole left side of his face was bruised, his eye swollen shut.

Because of his enormous headache, he couldn’t make out what Alpha and Beta were shouting. Soon though, it came to an abrupt stop and he felt himself being pulled to his feet. He could just make out Puck standing in front of him, looking inconvenienced.

"C’mon, Rogue," he said. "Served you right, though. You don’t stand between Alpha and Beta. It’s just not done."

Remus could have sworn he heard him mutter "Not yet" when he turned around, but the pain overtook his attention and it was all he had to keep up with Puck to be led back to the Den. However, as they drew closer and the scents that hit Remus’ nose with all that told of the Pack, he stopped.

No…This is not my home. I will tend to my own wounds in my own house, thank you. He dropped back into the shadows, and Puck either didn’t notice, or didn’t care.

Remus sent an owl to Dumbledore the following morning, explaining what happened in a code that had been devised exclusively for him and Dumbledore alone. He also said he’d be taking a few days off, despite the knowledge that he would also need time after the next full moon. This, not surprisingly, alarmed the attention of his friends. The following evening, Sirius, James, Lily, and Peter had made their way into Remus’ cottage and completely took over.

"How on earth did you get such a shiner?" Sirius marveled, touching the swelling bruise on Remus’ face. Remus winced and batted his hand away.

"I told you already," he grumbled, willing his heart not to reveal his lie. He wasn’t sure which hurt most, the bruise or the betrayal.

"I think it was very admirable of you, Remus," Lily soothed, handing him a cold compress that had been soaked with special herbs for healing. "You could have saved her life."

"Yeah, well, I don’t understand why you didn’t hex the guy," James muttered, sitting on the small sofa across from Remus.

"He was a Muggle, James. I’d rather have this than be locked up for breaking the Magic Concealment Act," Remus said.

Remus had given a story not too much unlike the real one of leaving his assignment only to notice a Muggle couple fighting in a deserted street. He stepped in when the man began to assault the woman, only to be punched in the face.

"Have you learned nothing of pranks in the years we spent together at Hogwarts?" Sirius shook his head. "Really, Moony, this is disappointing."

"Oh, leave him alone," Lily chided him. "He needs his rest. We should be going."

"But, what about… shouldn’t we-?" Peter started as everyone stood up, but James and Sirius threw a look at him so severe that Peter literally jumped and shut his mouth.

Remus raised the eyebrow over his good eye at them. There was an uneasy silence.

"What about what? Shouldn’t what?" he asked, frowning as he looked at each of his friends in turn. All of them wore a mixture of expressions and it was hard for him to decipher what they were hiding. But he knew it was not good and it involved him.

"Get some rest, Remus," Lily said finally, forcing a small smile and pulling on her coat.

"No," Remus stood up, holding on to the arm of his chair as he swooned a little from standing up too fast. Lily immediately came over and steadied him. "What is it, Peter?"

Peter worriedly looked at James and Sirius, question in his eyes. Both of them were silent and their expressions hardened. Finally, Sirius sighed and crossed his arms, leaning up against the wall.

"He is going to find out soon enough anyway," he muttered.

Peter swallowed and looked at the ground as he spoke.

"It’s about your brother, Remus."

Remus sat back down and sighed, Lily looking at him intently with her face grim.

"Sirius and I were out on assignment yesterday, when we encountered a large group of Death Eaters," Peter continued. "We engaged them and managed to stun many of them. When backup arrived, we had captured all but one. It was the only Death Eater not to fire a curse, who had stayed at the back behind the others. He… he set fire to the homes that were next to us with a torch he had been holding. Then he disappeared. When those captured were questioned last night, we managed to get his name."

Remus stared at him, willing his breath to become steady. He knew all along what his brother was, but now this just confirmed it officially. Lily put her hand on his.

"It was Neo Lupin," Peter said and looked away. Remus could see his hands shaking.

A strong gust of wind made the windchime outside clash loudly. The swaying branches from the trees outside hit against some of the windows. Remus stared at the ground, and he felt James come over and touch his shoulder.

"I’m sorry, Remus," he whispered.

"We knew it all along, there’s nothing to be sorry about," Remus muttered.

"I’ll stay with you, tonight," Sirius said, walking over to stand before him.

"No, no I’m fine. You guys get home, it’s late," Remus said blankly.

Sirius opened his mouth to argue, but stopped as he looked up at James and Lily. Peter had moved to look out the front window, the lights from the lit lamps reflecting dramatically on his face.

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked, bending down to look at him in the eyes.

"Yes," Remus said firmly.

Sirius did not look convinced and shook his head.

"I’m coming over first thing tomorrow morning. I’ll tell Dumbledore I’m taking the day off."

"You guys are overreacting," Remus looked up at them all, hoping his expression looked convincing. "I can take care of myself. We’re not kids anymore."

"Maybe so," Lily said quietly. "But who would’ve thought we’d be going through this now, only nearly three months since we graduated. We’re only eighteen and nineteen years old, and already we’ve done and seen so much as our elders have. So much changed in so little time."

"This is the real world," James said seriously. "These are dark times and it will continue to be hard until Voldemort is stopped."

Everyone nodded, except Lily and Peter. Remus looked at both of them and noticed a deep look in their expressions. He was not sure what to make of them… how strange they looked.

"We should go," James sighed. He came around, stood next to Sirius, and bent down to look at Remus directly. It struck him to see James look so much older than he was. Being a member of the Order had already taken its toll- on all of them. "But we’re going to help you set up some barrier spells around the cottage. There could be a chance that your brother could find you."

"Hey, did anyone see Peter leave?" Sirius asked suddenly, making them all turn to the window where Peter was seen last. No one had heard him go out the door.

"Last night’s battle had a big effect on him," Lily said quietly. "I think it was the first time he dueled in a real situation."

"But we’ve all had our share of rough encounters since the Order came together. I would’ve thought Emily’s death would bug him more." Sirius went to look out the front door. The porch was empty and there was nothing moving in the forest.

"Oh, but it has," James said heavily, standing up to retrieve his wand from his coat pocket. "He’s changed a lot on the inside. Can’t you tell?"

"The little rat has always been a step apart from us," Sirius said simply, pulling out his own wand. "Well, let’s do this. Moony needs his sleep."

Remus was ordered to stay inside and sit while the rest of them walked about the cottage, setting various barrier spells in place. Lily then cast a special charm that would only allow certain individuals to come into the cottage. When Remus came out to speak the names of only those that would be able to pass this charm, Lily took him aside and told him the counter-charm.

"Not really safe to not know the counter-charm," she said lightly, winking at him. "There is also a special emergency charm that, in the case you are incapable of casting the counter-charm, will instantly drop all the barriers including this one."

Shortly after, they left. Remus went back inside and sat down heavily in his armchair. He felt a thump bounce on his chest, and, reaching inside his shirt, he pulled out the infinity charm that Lily had given him. Remus pulled it up to his face, turning the metal charm in the candlelight with his fingers. He stared at it, until the glistening image of the twisted loop burned into his eyes. Remus remembered all of what it stood for, how Lily had emphasized and believed in every word.

Infinity. For infinite friendship, infinite hope, infinite love, infinite harmony, infinite wisdom, and infinite possibilities, he remembered.

"And infinite betrayal."

What was he doing? He was a member of the Order of the Phoenix, not the Pack. His job was to fight the Dark, not help it. There were Death Eaters to arrest and people to save… and he’s out running around doing errands for the enemy. Remus thought his values, morals, and beliefs were all sound, that nothing could convince him to go against them. Dumbledore may have given him this task, but there was no reason to lie to his closest friends.

"I’m going to tell them what I’m doing," he said aloud. "They have a right to know."

There was a flicker in the light, down by his feet and along the wall. Remus leaned over, thinking something had fallen from the small table that stood next to his chair. He saw nothing, and shrugged.

"I may be a werewolf, but I’m also a human being." Standing up, he took his cup of tea that had been on the table and put it away. He dampened another cloth, soaked it in the herbs Lily had left out for the purpose, and went to bed.

The next morning, Sirius had let himself inside the cottage and was busy making breakfast when Remus finally woke up. The swelling around his eye had gone down considerably, thanks to Lily’s treatment. Remus plopped down at the kitchen table, reaching for his tea and a slice of lemon.

"You look better," Sirius commented, putting a plate full of bacon and eggs in front of Remus. "A day off is what you need, away from work. James and Lily are going to see if they can get off early. I already went ahead and made reservations at the Bubble Room for dinner tonight."

Remus let his mouth drop slightly, looking up at Sirius.

"But it takes months to get a table available at the Bubble Room. Besides, it costs a fortune!"

"Moony, haven’t you taken all the advantages of being a member of the Order?" Sirius shook his head at him mockingly. "Just flash your little golden ticket and you’re in! Besides, James said he was picking up the tab; money is no object with him, you know."

Remus ran a hand through his bed tussled hair, giving Sirius a chiding look.

"He can’t possibly do that, and besides, you shouldn’t be using your title as a freebee. It’s not right."

"Your solitary lifestyle has warped you, Moony," Sirius said, chewing his eggs. "Since when have I been known to follow all the rules? You really do need some Marauder time."

Remus was about to object, but Sirius quickly took his fork and stuffed a slice of bacon into his mouth before he could say anything.

"Eat and get dressed. Then we’ll take a ride over to James’."

Remus’ eyes went wide with horror. Not the motorcycle! Sirius laughed.

"Oh, yes!"

There wasn’t much time between being sick to his stomach and being fussed over by Lily when Remus’ black eye had swollen again to think about what he had decided the night before. The pain in his eye was terrible, for Sirius had accidentally elbowed him when Remus nearly fell off the flying motorcycle and into a briar patch. He was sprawled out on the sofa in the sitting room at James’ house for the majority of the day, while James, Sirius, and Lily decided to have a chess tournament. Peter had declined to come, saying he had a lot of paperwork to do. As it got closer to their reservation time at the Bubble Room, Remus began to remember just what he had been dreading as he fell asleep the night before.

After dinner, he thought to himself. Let us enjoy one last meal together as we always have.

Fortunately, the swelling had gone down again by the time Remus and the others arrived at the Bubble Room. It was a five-star restaurant and rated the best in England for fine magical dining. Located just outside of London, the curious little building was disguised as a daycare center. It was not unusual to see a line of couples waiting outside to pick up their children, when in actuality it was the line to check in at the desk.

Sirius indeed had swindled their way to a nice table located at the back of the restaurant. After walking through the downpour of enchanted bubbles (hence the name of the place), they were seated and made their menu selections. Remus was careful to choose the cheapest selection, which still was considerably high. James, however, insisted that they all get lobster with a special sauce called dracolus, made from the drippings of a special roast of dragon meat. Much to Remus’ reluctance, the order was made.

"Don’t get me anything for Christmas, then," Remus said. "This is incredibly generous of you."

"Who else besides us would I spend my money on? Besides, Moony, there’s something we have to celebrate tonight," James said, a larger-than-normal grin on his face.

Remus blinked, feeling his stomach turn. Celebrate what?

"If it’s because of Moony’s first fist-fight, it’s not the first time he’s been knocked out," Sirius said mischievously.

"Of course not, Sirius, don’t be silly," Lily said, her bright green eyes more brilliant than ever. "James and I have to tell you both something."

Remus and Sirius exchanged glances. Sirius’ face then drew back slowly in mock realization.

"Oh, no… you… you’re getting a puppy? I knew it! We’re not good enough for you two anymore, are we? Just toss us to the pound!" Sirius draped his arm dramatically over his face, pretending to sob. A few heads turned in their direction and Remus buried his face in his hands in complete embarrassment.

James reached over and cuffed Sirius’ shoulder.

"Oh, shut up! Be serious for once."

"But I-"

"Don’t even say it, if you know what’s good for you," James warned him before Sirius could retort. Sirius closed his mouth and crossed his arms, waiting. Remus straightened up in his chair as he regarded James and Lily. They were exceptionally more genial than normal, not that they were any less so. But their expressions were both glowing, and Remus couldn’t help but let his face return a soft smile.

"Now then, like Lily said, there’s something we have to tell you," James continued. He took Lily’s hand, and there wasn’t a couple Remus would ever see for the rest of his life that looked more perfect together. Lily grinned broadly and looked at him and Sirius.

"James and I are getting married."

Remus’ smile grew bigger at the news, but Sirius simply blinked at them.

"I thought you already were," he said.

James made a face at him. "But now we really are, look."

He held up Lily’s left hand and Remus could see a glimmer of something encircling one of her fingers. Remus leaned forward and she let him take her hand, so he could get a closer look. It was a pure gold band, with a diamond studded lily flower situated at the top.

"So when’s the big day?" Remus found himself saying, smiling at the two of them.

"Well, that’s the thing," James said, his smile wavering slightly. "Lily and I feel that we should wait a while, until things settle down."

"Oh, come on!" Sirius said, grinning from ear to ear. "What’s with all the waiting? What difference does it make when you do it? Both of you are together, living together, and nothing short of the apocalypse is going to separate you from each other. Waiting just delays the inevitable, so why wait?"

Remus found himself agreeing. After all, from the way things were going, he had an uncanny feeling that things were going to get a lot worse before it got better. Sirius was right, why wait?

You never know what will happen tomorrow, anyway. We’re better off living each moment we have together, he thought. And, as he watched his best friends carry on their friendly banter, Remus couldn’t bring himself to spoil this one happiness in his life. If he just watched himself, he could continue to live his life and do his job in secret. They way they were was always as it had been, this was where he belonged and this was his family. This was one change he could control, and prevent.

"If you two don’t get married within a year, I’ll become a priest and perform the ceremony myself!" Sirius emphasized.

They settled down when their dinners arrived, and Remus reveled in the exotic taste and continued to rant to James on how expensive it all was. Sirius didn’t let eating cease his teasing, and basically outlined their friends’ wedding, honeymoon, first house, and children before dessert was served.

"Of course you’ll have six or seven," Sirius said, taking a big bite of his cheesecake.

"God help us," Remus laughed. "We’ll have a troupe of marauders in training for another mischievous plague at Hogwarts."

"Not to mention Quidditch champions," Lily added, grinning at James.

All too soon, they had finished everything and left the restaurant. Standing outside in the vastly cooling air, Remus simply stood and watched his friends continue to joke around. It was the calm before each passing storm, he figured, and it was worth living if his friends were still around him- still the same as they always had been. James and Lily would get married, Sirius would continue to make them laugh, Peter would still be his eager self, and Remus would stay the way he was. Alone, and not alone. Silent and observant.

He looked over in the shadows, where a few trees could be seen. Remus had felt eyes upon him, and the hair on the back of his neck stood up when he could see a tall silhouette leaning against one of the tree trunks.

Beta stared back at him, and Remus knew that there was no escape. Change was something not even magic could prevent. It was only a matter of time before his world would fall apart before his eyes.

She disappeared before anyone else noticed.

"Coming, Moony?" James called out to him, laughing.

Remus looked at him, forcing his smile to return. Only, James couldn’t see his tears.